Authors: Beth Wiseman
Miriam thought back. Little Annie had Down syndrome, but she’d died last year. “That was a few years ago, but
ya
, I remember. Why?”
“Everyone was occupied, even Lizzie, that day. Annie kept coughing, and she had all kinds of. . .
stuff
. . . dripping from her nose. I watched you that day. You cleaned Annie up, and you kept her by your side the rest of the time.”
Miriam barely remembered that day. “Saul, anyone would have done that.”
“Barbie Beiler fell and broke her leg. Remember that?”
“Ya.”
“You went over there every day and helped her run her bed-and-breakfast.”
Miriam shook her head. “Saul, these are things anyone in our community would have done.”
“But they didn’t, Miriam. You did. And depending on how much time you’ve got, I can give you a dozen more reasons why I’ve grown to love you over the years.” He shifted his eyes away from her. “You make me want to be a better person.”
“Saul...” She reached up and touched his cheek until he turned to face her. “I think you’re a wonderful person, and sometimes the way you help others is a bit different, perhaps more adventuresome than our ways. . . but I’ve watched you for years too. And your zestful spirit is one of the things that I love.”
Saul leaned in and kissed her gently. “I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know everything about you. And I know this is happening fast, but I’m sure that I love you, and I’m sure that I want to be with you always. I know that we would have to throw a wedding together really fast, and—”
Miriam’s eyes widened as she put some distance between them. “A wedding?”
“You didn’t think we’d move to Pittsburgh together without being married, did you? But only if you’re sure, Miriam.”
“I’m sure!” She threw her arms around his neck, knowing that this was the piece of the puzzle she needed the most. Everything else would come together. Just knowing that Saul wanted to spend the rest of his life with her would ease the worry that was sure to come in the following weeks—she couldn’t imagine how she would tell her parents.
Saul eased away from her, stepped out of the buggy, then walked around to her side. As he dropped to one knee, Miriam covered her mouth with her hand.
“I’m sorry I didn’t do this properly.” He reached for her hand. “Miriam Raber, I’ve loved you since I saw you in the first grade, and I love you more now than I thought possible. I’m a plain man making a plain proposal, but I will love you forever and always take care of you if you’ll agree to marry me and become
mei fraa
.”
Miriam jumped from the buggy and into his arms. “Oh, Saul! I will!”
Shelby couldn’t believe how much time had passed. It was nearly four o’clock. She wouldn’t be home in time to help with supper preparation, and she’d been trying so hard lately to impress Rebecca. But she couldn’t recall having as much fun as she’d had today in a long time.
She watched Jesse loading the fishing poles into the back of his topless buggy, and she wished this time with him could go on forever. They’d laughed, talked, and he’d shared Amish customs that she’d never heard of before. Her favorite was when he explained how a barn raising was done. When a young couple is starting out and needs a barn—or in the event of a fire—a new barn is erected in one day. Jesse told her that the entire community would arrive early in the morning to construct the barn. It was a family affair and a welcomed opportunity for fellowship in the community.
She reached into her purse sitting on the front seat of the buggy and glanced at her cell phone. She’d charged it earlier in the week in town, and she saw that she now had two missed calls from her mother and four from her father.
Suddenly they care about me?
She tossed it back into her purse.
“Missing your friends back home?” Jesse cradled her elbow and helped her into the buggy. He made her feel like a princess.
“No. I really don’t.”
He climbed into the buggy on the other side, flicked the reins, and backed the horse and buggy up. Shelby was hot, sweating like she couldn’t recall sweating before, had no makeup on, no perfume, no jewelry, and she’d never felt better—or more appreciated for the person she was—than at this moment. Jesse had listened to her all afternoon, and she found herself telling him things she hadn’t even told Miriam. Maybe it was an unintentional test to see if he would judge her for the mistakes she’d made. If so, Jesse had passed the test. He made her feel. . . worthy, like a person who deserved to be happy—and forgiven.
Thank You, Lord, for this beautiful day
.
“So, Shelby. Tell me. What is the thing you like most about your visit here?”
Shelby leaned her head back, closed her eyes, and enjoyed the wind in her face while she thought about his question. “Family,” she finally said as she turned to face him. “Not just Miriam’s family, but the way the whole community is like one big family. Everyone helps each other, loves each other.”
Jesse smiled. “And what do you like the least?”
Shelby laughed. “Would it be wrong of me to say the lack of air-conditioning?”
“I take every opportunity to go into town and walk the airconditioned shops this time of year. We all do.” He smiled, then whistled for his horse to pick up the pace. “I wonder what it would be like to leave here sometimes.”
Shelby was shocked. From everything that Miriam had told her about Jesse, she didn’t think Jesse would consider the idea. She blurted the first thing that popped into her head. “You don’t want to leave here, Jesse.”
“What makes you so sure? I think about it sometimes.”
“Because—because there’s a sense of peace here that’s hard to find out there.” She turned to look at him when she felt his eyes on her.
“That peace is in your heart, Shelby. You can have that anywhere.” He smiled. “You just happen to be finding it here. It sounds like you’re working through things, healing from a bad time. But the peacefulness in your heart only comes from a true relationship with God. When you can let your cares go and trust that all things are of God’s will, then there’s no worry or fear, things that block the voice of God.”
“Don’t you worry about things?” Shelby often chewed her nails to the quick with worry, and she thought about how freeing it must be to just turn everything over to God. She was working on that.
“Of course. I’m Amish, but I’m still human. I struggle with it all the time. Right now my aunt is sick. I’m worried she’ll die. It would be God’s will for her to go to her heavenly home, but I still worry. I would miss her.”
They rode along quietly for a while. Soon Jesse would be dropping her off at home.
Home
. That’s what her cousins’ farm had become over the past couple of months. Only one thing bothered her about being here, and that was Rebecca, who still seemed guarded with her, as if her presence was a threat to their family somehow. If Rebecca only knew how much Shelby treasured what Rebecca’s family had, she wouldn’t be so fearful.
When Jesse pulled up the driveway, Shelby turned to him. “Thank you so much for today, Jesse. I had a wonderful time.” She giggled. “Even though we didn’t catch a single fish.”
“I had a
gut
time too, Shelby. We will have to do it again.”
When?
She waited until Jesse brought the buggy to a complete stop, then she picked up her purse and stepped out. She’d already asked him to hold on to her new fishing pole, hoping for another invite. “Thanks again.” As she was walking away, he called her name.
“Yeah?” She turned to face him.
“I have my lunch hour at the City Dump from noon until one o’clock.” He smiled. “Remember, that’s the name of the place where I work.”
Shelby nodded, guessing what he was about to ask her.
“Anytime you’re in town, I’d be glad to buy you lunch. Maybe Miriam can bring you sometime.”
“That would be great. I’ll see you soon.”
Jesse smiled. “I hope so.”
Shelby wasn’t sure she’d ever really felt butterflies in her stomach before today.
It was routine now for Miriam and Shelby to stay up late talking, later than they should considering that the day started at four o’clock in the morning. They were expected to help with breakfast no matter how late they’d stayed up the night before. But there was much to cover this evening. Miriam let Shelby go first, and her cousin told her about her day with Jesse. In light of Saul’s proposal, any thoughts of Jesse as her “safe person” had vanished.
She was glad to see Shelby so happy, but she was worried for both her and for Jesse. Until, that is, Shelby told her what Jesse said.
“You mean he actually said he thinks about leaving sometimes?” Miriam was shocked.
Shelby’s expression grew solemn. “Why would anyone want to leave here?”
Miriam laughed. “Usually the
Englisch
want to know why anyone would want to
stay
here.”
Shelby ran her brush the length of her hair, and Miriam couldn’t help but think about her wedding night when Saul would see her hair in its entirety. Then she cringed when she thought about having to tell her parents that she would be leaving the community with Saul, but she tried to stay focused on the life she knew they would have.
“I could live here.”
Miriam sat perfectly still and stared at Shelby. “Really?” Then she folded her arms across her chest and stared at Shelby. “Shelby, you can’t choose to live here just because you might be falling for Jesse. That’s not right. That’s not our way.”
Shelby’s eyes teared up, and Miriam regretted what she’d said. “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. I guess it must seem that way.” Shelby hung her head. “I just like you—and your family. I like being here.”
Miriam didn’t say anything. Suddenly she wasn’t sure that this was the best time to share her news with Shelby. But if not Shelby, then who? She was about to burst, needing to share with someone. That someone couldn’t be her mother, which saddened her. She recalled a time when she used to tell her mother everything.
“Although. . .” Shelby stopped brushing her hair and frowned. “I think your mother is ready for me to go.”
“Why would you say that?”
Shelby sighed as she stuffed her brush back into the drawer. “I overheard your mother saying that she thinks I’m a bad influence on you. More or less, that’s what she said.”
“Are you talking about me sneaking out to meet Saul? Because if so. . . I already cleared that up with
Mamm
.”
“You did?” Shelby straightened. “Was she mad at you?”
“Not as mad as she’s going to be.”
“What do you mean?”
Miriam crossed her legs beneath her and folded her hands in her lap. “You can’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you. Not until I’m able to tell my parents.”
Shelby’s eyes widened. “I won’t. I won’t. What is it, Miriam?”
“I’m leaving here. With Saul. In one month.”