Read Pink Flamingoed Online

Authors: Steve Demaree

Tags: #Christian Books & Bibles, #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Humor, #Religion & Spirituality, #Fiction, #Humor & Satire, #General Humor, #Religious & Inspirational Fiction, #Christian Fiction, #Teen & Young Adult

Pink Flamingoed (15 page)

BOOK: Pink Flamingoed
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“Do you promise not to call him?”

“Of course I won’t call him, at least not right away.”

“Very funny, Mom. And don’t go checking him out any
more. I already know you’ve gone through my neighborhood to see what you could
find out.”

“I only called your next-door neighbor, and she said I
have nothing to worry about. She said he’s a nice young man. So what’s your
young man’s name?”

“Bradford Rothrock Forrester.”

“No, I mean really.”

“That’s his real name. Honest.”

“What’d you do, Amy? Get mixed up with an engineer?”

“No, he’s a writer.”

“Not Brad Forrester who writes those murder
mysteries?”

“You’ve heard of him?”

“Heard of him. I’ve read a couple of them. He’s pretty
good. Do you have any idea how he comes up with his ideas?”

“Well, I did hear that he’s been married twice, but no
one can find either wife.”

“Just send me all of his money before he does you in,
and don’t worry about the picture. There’s one of the back of his book.”

“You mean the one that was taken when he still had
hair and all of his teeth?”

 

+++

 

Excited about the changes he saw in Ethel, Harry
forgot to check his e-mail all day. A phone call actually got through on their
home number. No e-mail, and no Googling. By the time Harry checked his e-mail,
he had gotten twenty-seven messages, although he was disappointed to find out
that one of them was spam. Harry answered it anyway.

One of Harry’s messages was a love note from Ethel. He
wished he had discovered Veal Oscar and crème brûlée when he was a younger man.

Harry received two e-mails from “Moses,” one at each
e-mail address. “Moses” had responded to “handsome” and asked him if  he  was 
as  handsome as they come. Harry wrote back and said that his bathroom mirror
counted the minutes until he returned. “Handsome” had received three messages
from Melanie, each one wanting to know if he was still interested in buying a
house. Harry decided to play with her a while. He e-mailed her to tell her
“yes,” but that his work was keeping him so busy that he would not be able to
come and look at a house for a few weeks.

Fatherly Advice

 

 

Pastor Scott’s home office looked much the way someone
would expect it to look. It contained a desk, which held a computer,
bookshelves full of books where Scott could cheat to find new words of wisdom,
a chair for him, and a couple of other chairs just in case someone wandered in
to seek his opinion. Scott sat in his study working on his sermon when his
twelve-year-old daughter knocked on the door.

“Come in. Oh, hi, Jill. What can I do for you?”

“Dad, I’ve got a question. Remember when you said
something about how I was growing up? I assume you’ve noticed that I’m
practically a woman.”

“Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

“Well, I’ve noticed it, and I think it’s time I did
something about it.”

“Oh, and what do you have in mind?  A nose ring?”

“Eew! Get real, Dad, nothing like that. It’s just that
I was pretty discouraged last night when Brad asked Amy to go to Martinelli’s
as his date, instead of asking me, especially considering I’ve read more of his
books than she has.”

“I know. Sometimes writers get so caught up in writing
books that they fail to realize who their biggest fans are.”

“I know, and I’ve been thinking about it. I feel that
it’s time to burn my bridges and look for a new guy. After all, I’m not getting
any younger. I am almost thirteen, you know.”

“Well, now don’t be too hasty.”

“No, I’ve made up my mind. Dad, last night you and Mom
got to go to Martinelli’s while I had to stay here with the children. I feel
like I should be rewarded for that, and tonight Martinelli’s is having their
singles night. It’s for everyone who didn’t have a date last night and I’d like
to go.”

“Well, you
were
with your brother last night.
That should count for something.”

“Dad, have you been listening to me? I already told
you I had to take care of the children last night. Now, I feel like it’s time
that I got rewarded.”

“Me, too.”

“You do?”

“Yes, Jill. I do. How would you like to go with me and
get some ice cream?”

Even in February, a true ice cream lover never turns
down an opportunity to indulge. Scott and Jill hurried off to enjoy ice cream
together, just the two of them. Scott ordered a double-scoop of chocolate
almond, while Jill was in the mood for peppermint. The two of them sat there
like neither had a care in the world. Scott had a sermon to work on, but right
then his time was his daughter’s time. After the two of them ate, talked about
nothing of consequence, and washed their hands, it was time to go home. On
another occasion, Scott would spend time with another of his children. One
thing about spending time with each child by himself or herself, it allowed a
contented pastor to enjoy three ice cream cones, provided every child wanted
ice cream. Scott could not remember a time any of his children turned down ice
cream.

The two returned home and Pastor Scott returned to his
sermon. He had barely returned to work when he heard someone knock on his study
door.

“Come in.”

A five-year-old with bouncing curls came into his
office.

“Oh, hi, Mallory. And what can I do for you?”

“Daddy, I’ve been thinking.”

“That’s good, Mallory. It’s always good to think and
I’ve always thought of you as a good thinker for such a little girl.”

“Please, don’t patronize me, Daddy.”

“And where did you learn such a big word as that?”

“It’s amazing what a five-year-old can learn if she
keeps her eyes and ears open.”

Scott shuddered at the thought of what a child could
learn these days, before continuing.

“So, what can I help you with?”

Mallory bounced up and down on the chair in front of
her dad’s desk, not in a three-year-old sort of way but more like a mature
five-year-old.

“Like I said, I’ve been thinking. I think I’m ready
for more responsibility. After all, don’t you think I did a good job of
watching your other children and keeping them out of trouble while you and
Mommy were gone last night?”

“Absolutely.”

“And believe me, watching those two and keeping them
out of trouble isn’t a piece of cake.”

“I should say not. So what would you like to do? Take
over your brother’s snow shoveling customers.”

“That’s too much like work, and anyway, I think I
should probably wait until I’m bigger than the snow shovel before I tackle that
job.”

“Well, how about helping do the dishes?”

“Actually, I was thinking of something more in the
line of business.”

“Business?”

“Yes, Daddy. I’d like to begin by getting my own
e-mail address.”

“Don’t you think that you should wait until you learn
to spell words that have more than three letters first?”

“No. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I
figure if old people  can learn how to do it, so can I. All I need is for my
pastor to teach me which keys to hit and how to work the mouse. Then, I’ll be
set.”

“Well, as it turns out, your pastor just happens to
have a few minutes to spare right now. Let’s see what we can do.”

“Okay, and another thing. Since we’re about to become
business partners, I think I should start calling you Scott and calling Mommy
Nancy. It’s more...friendly, and more grown up. Don’t you think?”

“How about changing gradually? Why don’t we start with
Mom and Dad?”

“It sounds so trite, but if it pleases you, I can go
along with it. Put ’re there, Dad,” Mallory said, extending her hand to take
his.

 

+++

 

The next day Mallory checked her e-mail and found that
she had received her first message. “The cat in the hat ate the rat. Love,
Dad.”

Mallory printed her first e-mail message and decided
to buy a frame for it, even though she thought the message was a little on the
gross side.

 

+++

 

With Valentine’s Day over, Brad started back to work
on his latest whodunit. By this time, he had titled the book,
The After
Dinner Murder
, and had developed his characters, ending up with seven
murder suspects and one police inspector. Brad had written something each day
and had written and rewritten the first seven chapters of the book until they
pleased him.

Brad was busy with his book. Amy, bored by staying at
home and not wanting to bother her neighbors too much, ventured out and shot
some photographs.

Business had been good for Amy. Not only did she have
lots of orders before Christmas, but surprisingly, the orders continued to come
in after Christmas. Amy never knew how much business to expect the first part
of the year. While most of her orders came via her website, she was able to
sell quite a few of her framed photographs in stores across the state, and
several stores had contacted her to reorder. Besides that, everyone but Melanie
who went to Martinelli’s for Valentine’s Day ordered an 8 x 10 picture that Amy
captured of them that night. Both Brad and Amy had a picture of the two of them
that night. It turned out nice, even though Amy was both the photographer and
one-half of the subject. She debated as to whether or not she would send one to
her parents. She would sleep on it.

+++

 

Late the next morning, Amy’s phone rang.

“Oh, hi, Allison,” Amy said, after she found out who
was calling. “Well, how was your night at Martinelli’s?”

“Oh, Amy, it was wonderful, and I met someone,”
Allison answered, her voice full of excitement.

“Well, I would hope so, Allison. I didn’t expect you
to be the only one there.”

“Very funny! You know what I mean.”

“I assume that this ‘someone’ was a guy.”

“Yeah, his name’s Chuck, and he’s a gym teacher at the
elementary school, and he’s handsome, and he treated me like I was a real
person, and he acted like my brain worked even though my legs don’t, and he
walked beside my chair as I rolled to my car, and he asked me out this Saturday
night. Can you believe it, Amy? He knows I’m a woman, not a vegetable. I just
happen to be a woman who will not have to get her shoes resoled as often. He
knows  I  can’t run a marathon, but I can run a business. He’s seen me, and he
still likes me. He wants to go out with me, and not because he feels sorry for
me.”

“Whoa! Whoa! Slow down. Put the brake on that tricycle
of yours. Has he given you a ring yet?”

“Of course not, but he gave me his phone number and he
asked for mine.”

“So, are you going out with him Saturday night?”

“I don’t know. Do you think I should?”

“I don’t know, Alli. Do you want to go to the single’s
night at Martinelli’s again next year?”

“I see your point. I told him I’d think about it. He’s
supposed to call me after he gets home from school today. I’ll tell him I
thought about it, and I’m willing to go.”

“Now, don’t let me talk you into anything, but if you
think he’s someone you’d like to see again, go for it. He seems nice from what
you’ve told me about him.”

“Yeah, real nice, Amy. Well, I guess I’d better go in
case Chuck calls.”

“I thought you said he wasn’t going to call until
after school. What time does his school let out, anyway?”

“Well, he might decide to call me on his lunch hour
instead. He knows I work at home.”

“Okay, well, goodbye, Alli, and keep me posted.”

“You keep me posted, too. Let me know the next time
the man on the white horse comes calling.”

 

+++

 

Scott was sitting in his study when Kenny knocked on
the door.

“Come in, Son,” Scott said, after seeing it was Kenny.

“Dad, I’ve got a question and it’s one of those that a
man can only ask another man.”

Scott suppressed his smile, partly to keep from
embarrassing his son, and partly because he was afraid of what Kenny was about
to ask.

“Uh, what’s your question, Son?”

“Well, Dad. You know how Brad’s got this thing for
Amy, and now Allison’s found some guy. It seems like us single guys are
dropping like flies. Do you think that some day some girl will be able to catch
me in her trap the way Amy and Allison caught Brad and this other guy?”

“You never know, Son. You know, your mom caught me,
too.”

“Is there anything I can do to keep from getting
caught?”

“Well, Son. I think you’re okay for a while.”

“How long of a while, Dad?”

“Well, let’s just say I wouldn’t worry about it for
now.”

“Boy, that’s a relief. Oh, Dad. I have another
question. I know how you’re a little prejudiced and all, but do you think Jill
and Mallory will ever be able to catch some guy?”

“Son, I’d say there’s a pretty good chance of that.”

“Well, then, I’m glad both of them are my sisters.”

“I know, Son. You love your sisters, don’t you?”

“It’s not that, Dad. It’s just that knowing they’re my
sisters makes me feel better because I know that neither one of them will ever
be able to catch me. Getting kissed by a girl sounds bad enough, but getting
kissed by Jill or Mallory is enough to drive a guy to do I don’t know what.”

“Well, I’ll do my best to watch out for you. I’ll try
to keep girls away from you for a while.”

“Thanks, Dad. It’s nice to have someone bigger who’ll
watch out for me, even if he is my dad and my pastor.”

 

+++

 

The way Allison came wheeling into church on Sunday
morning was enough to let Amy know that Chuck was still a part of her life.

“I don’t think the wheels on my chair touched down one
time on the way across the street,” Allison told Amy after church.

Amy burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Brad asked as he walked up to
interrupt the two women.

“Why, didn’t you hear? Allison’s practically married.”

“Oh, Amy, quit teasing,” Allison said, as she blushed.

“Brad, remember I told you about Allison meeting this
guy at Martinelli’s? Well, they went out last night and it appears that the
romance is heating up.”

“I told Chuck about the two of you, and he said maybe
the four of us could double-date sometime.”

“I don’t know, Brad. Do you think we should
double-date with the fastest thing on wheels and some guy who chases little
children all day?” Amy asked, glad for the opportunity to tease her friend
about her new boyfriend.

“Oh, I don’t know. I think Allison’s the one who
should be concerned. Allison, would you like to double-date with a photographer
who’s liable to take photographs of everything that goes on and some guy who’s
likely to write about it afterwards?”

BOOK: Pink Flamingoed
12.96Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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