“
He didn’t call,” I
mumbled.
“
Well, I think he wanted to
give you a little space. He’s upset with himself over the whole
Monique business. He knows he should have told you.”
I just nodded, afraid the water works would
start up again if I spoke.
“
He’s a mess,” Greta
said.
“
He is,” James agreed. “He
loves you very much, Iz. I knew that the first time I saw you two
together. He’s worried about what all this is doing to you, and he
doesn’t know what to do about it.”
“
He warned me it would
happen. He told me in the beginning,” I said, swiping angrily at a
tear on my cheek.
“
He would know,” James
said. “He went through it with Monique only it didn’t bother him so
much. He’s very protective of you, Iz. He’s afraid someone is going
to hurt you. He wants to do the right thing by you.”
“
I just wish I could talk
to him about this but I don’t know what to say,” I
cried.
James smiled gently and patted my hands.
“You’re about to get your wish.”
My eyes immediately dried as they grew to
the size of hubcaps. Getting to my feet, I turned around to find
Jake standing in the doorway.
“
Me and Greta will go see
about lunch,” James said as he tugged Greta toward the
kitchen.
“
Iz,” Jake said as he
stepped into the room. His shoulders slouched and his face was pale
and drawn. His once brilliant blue eyes were dull and it ripped my
heart wide open. “Are you okay? I saw what they did to you in
Florida.”
“
I’m fine,” I said as my
traitorous feet led me straight to him. My arms wrapped around his
neck as I sank into his body, silent sobs shaking my frame. His
arms tightened around me and I felt his lips in my hair. “I’m so
sorry.”
“
Me, too, angel,” he
mumbled in my hair. He held me for a few minutes and allowed me to
cry on his shirt. When my emotions settled, he edged me back and
brushed the hair out of my face. He kissed me softly and led me
back to the sofa. “I love you, Iz. I love you so much, but I can’t
do this to you anymore. I think we need to chill out for a little
while.”
Wait a second. What?!
Chapter Twenty-Six
“
Jake, what do you mean?” I
choked, staring into his pained eyes. I had thought that I saw this
coming, but I guess I really hadn’t. Not totally.
He held my hand in his. “Angel, you have a
lot of school work to do, plus finals and this charity concert that
I dumped on you. You have so much on your plate right now. Sorry I
put that concert on you, by the way.”
I tried to smile but failed. Miserably. My
heart was chipping away, the tiny pieces fluttering to the
floor.
“
You want to break up with
me?” I asked, trying to comprehend the whole situation.
He squeezed my hand.
“
I don’t want to, but you
need to be concentrating on school. You don’t need to be worrying
about reporters and tabloids and photographers.” He ran one hand
through his dark hair. “I can’t keep putting you through
this.”
“
I can handle it,” I
pleaded, my voice feeble and weak.
He took my face in his hands and kissed
me.
“
I don’t want you to have
to handle it.” He stood, holding my hand. “Let’s go out back. Dad
hates it when I smoke in the house.”
“
I hate it when you smoke,
period,” I grumbled behind him.
He chuckled. “I’ll quit, Iz. I’ll quit
before the charity concert. I promise.”
I nodded, wondering if he’d quit me too.
He settled us into a couple comfortable deck
chairs but didn’t light up like I thought he would. He just pulled
his chair closer to mine and rested his hands on my thighs.
“
Iz,” he began with a deep
breath. “All I am suggesting is that we take a break, lay low,
until you finish school. You don’t need these
distractions.”
He had a point but I couldn’t admit it. My
heart wouldn’t accept it. I ducked my head and studied the treated
wood under my feet. “I don’t want to lose you, Jake.”
Placing a finger under my chin, he forced my
face to his. His lips touched mine as he pulled me closer. My heart
jumped. Maybe he’d changed his mind.
But he broke the kiss and placed his
forehead against mine. “You’re not losing me, I promise. You can
call me anytime you want or need.”
“
But…I won’t be your
girlfriend anymore, will I?” The words pained every organ in my
body as they tumbled from my mouth.
He sighed. “Technically, no. Not right
now.”
What was left of my heart dropped to my feet
and shattered into a million shards that stabbed me and made me
bleed. “What about Monique?”
“
Monique has nothing to do
with us. As a matter of fact, I took your suggestion and talked her
into going to France for a while. I spent the week making
arrangements and just dropped her off at the airport before I came
here to get my dad.” He edged away and tucked my hair behind my
ears. “Iz, when you finish your finals, we’ll talk. If we still
want to be with each other, we’ll try again.”
“
Is there someone else?” I
sniffed. The thought struck me suddenly and stomped on the pieces
of my heart.
“
Definitely not. There’s
never been anyone but you, Iz. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I
love you and I never will again.” He kissed my cheek. “Besides, me
and the band will be in L.A. until the end of May working on a new
CD.”
I stood abruptly, needing to escape. It was
getting harder to breathe and I didn’t want to suffocate in front
of him. “I need to head back.”
He got to his feet and clutched my waist.
“Why don’t you stay here tonight? I’ll go home.”
I shook my head. I needed to put as much
space between him and me as possible. “I want to get back to
school.”
He accompanied me back inside so I could say
my goodbyes and walked me to my car. Leaning against it, he pulled
me to his chest. “Thanks for the puppy. I love him.”
“
Good,” I said with a
forced smile. “What did you name him?”
“
BK, of course,” he said
with a wink.
“
Just be sure to feed him
puppy food and not cheeseburgers,” I tried to joke as I reached
around him and opened the door. He seized my arm before I could get
in.
“
I do love you, Iz. Very
much.”
“
I know,” I said, lips
trembling. “I love you, too.”
I stood on my toes and kissed him quickly
before climbing inside.
I drove all the way back to school without
breaking down once.
***
A greeting party met me in the parking lot
as I killed the engine and banged my head against the steering
wheel. Taking a deep breath, I collected my bags, and walked
purposely to the gates.
“
Isabella, is it true you
and Jake split up?”
“
Did you meet someone new
in Florida?”
“
Did Jake run off to France
with Monique?”
Tears threatened to spill as I bobbled one
of my bags. I tried desperately to get control of it while keeping
a hand on the other. Suddenly someone took it from my hand and
pushed me through the crowd.
“
Back off,” the firm,
familiar voice ordered. “You’ve caused enough damage.”
I gasped as Alicia Phelps ushered me through
the gates and to the Admin building. Once we checked in, she
carried my bag to my dorm.
“
Thanks,” I said when she
set it down in my room.
“
Sure,” she answered,
nonchalant. She sank to Annie’s bed and studied me, her eyes narrow
but not hard or mean. “It was me, Bella. I was the one who called
the tabloids. I didn’t tell them anything, though, and after I
called I felt really bad.”
“
Why?” I asked as all
strength left my legs and I fell to my bed. “We used to be friends
but lately you’ve treated me like something stuck to the bottom of
your shoe.”
“
I was jealous,” she
admitted, picking at her nails. “When you and Lance got together, I
was really jealous. I’ve liked him for a long time. Then I found
out what he did, and I was happy. I blamed you, though, because I
didn’t want to believe he would do something so horrible. But when
you started dating Jake Johnson, I became even more jealous. You
had it all. When all the reporters started hounding you, I thought
that was what you deserved. Until I saw what it was doing to you,
and I remembered what a good friend you’d been to me in the past.
The guilt was terrible.”
Her face fell and she bowed her head. “I’m
really sorry.”
I wasn’t sure what to say—Alicia Phelps was
not the type to feel remorse. And I was tired of it – tired of
everything. I just didn’t care anymore.
“
It’s okay. Don’t worry
about it. Besides, Jake and I decided to split for a
while.”
“
I’m sorry to hear that,”
she said in a genuine voice.
Shrugging, I rose to my weary feet and
heaved my bag to the bed. I had to keep busy to fend off the tears.
“I figured it would happen.”
“
I hope it works out for
you,” she said, awkward. “I mean that.”
I nodded, keeping my back to her, as I heard
the door shut.
***
Annie and Cammy returned late Saturday and I
went through a box and a half of tissue, sobbing the entire story
on each of their shoulders. They were sympathetic and understanding
but didn’t offer any empty words of promise. They just let me cry
until my tear ducts ran dry.
Jake called Sunday
afternoon to check up on me. I assured him in my scratchy voice
that I was fine. He told me another edition of the
Star Gazer
had come out
and he voiced his concerns over the tabloid’s latest speculations.
The gossip shows had a field day with all the photos and footage
but I couldn’t churn up the energy to really care. None of it could
hurt my already dead heart.
As April faded into May, the circus died
down. Since Jake no longer made regular visits to the school, and
since I rarely, if ever, left campus, the media frenzy slowly
dwindled. I turned my focus solely on the charity concert and put
all my effort into ensuring it would be a smashing success. I also
joined some study groups to prepare myself for final exams.
Dean Fletcher called me to his office the
first week in May to discuss ticket sales. He was concerned the
paparazzi would buy them up in order to get a shot of me and Jake
but I came up with a brilliant plan. We went over it with the
school attorney and I left the office to okay it with Jake.
As soon as I reached my room, I called him.
My hands shook as I waited for him to answer. I hadn’t spoken to
him since spring break.
“
Hey, Iz,” he greeted. I
could hear the smile in his voice. “How are you?”
“
I’m okay,” I said, a
little breathless. I’d nearly forgotten how husky his voice was. “I
just need your help on this concert thing.”
“
Sure, what do you
need?”
“
Well, in an effort to
stump the tabloid reporters, we’re limiting ticket sales to
students only, at first. Since it is sort of a small school, any
tickets not sold a week before the show will be auctioned online.”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t think it will keep them all out but
I’m hoping it will help. Plus, we’ve decided to have a short press
conference before the show.”
“
That’s a great idea,” he
said. “What do you need help with?”
“
The school attorney said
the band and the label have to sign a waiver giving us permission
to do it this way,” I explained. “He typed one up and I can fax it
to you.”
“
Sure,” Jake said. “Fax it
to the studio. I’ll get the number for you.” He covered the phone
and I heard a mumbled conversation between him and another person.
“Go ahead and send it. Rob will sign.”
“
Thanks, Jake. I really
appreciate it.” The conversation was coming to an end and despair
washed over me.
“
How are you doing?” he
asked in a soft voice.
“
Fine. I’ve been keeping
busy.”
“
No one’s been bothering
you?”
I smiled. “No.”
“
You’re studying for your
finals, right?”
“
Yes, Jake,” I said with
forced peppiness. “I’m pretty prepared.”
“
Good. Listen, I have to
go, angel. I have to get back in the studio. I’ll see you in a
couple weeks.”
“
Okay,” I said as much glee
as I could muster before I hung up. I slid off my bed and trudged
back to the Admin building to fax the waiver.
***
“
I think we should go into
town to get our hair done for prom,” Annie mused as she stared in
the mirror, pulling a brush through her hair.
I rolled my eyes and focused on my Calculus
book.
“
That’s a great idea,”
Cammy agreed. “I can make the appointment. What time do you
think?”
I drew in a silent breath and kept my
attention on my book. I knew they were trying to get me in the
conversation but it wasn’t going to work.
“
I don’t know,” Annie said
as she turned around. “What time do you think, Bella?”
“
Not too early or you two
will have your hair a mess before dinner,” I mumbled, rereading the
same page. I didn’t want to think about prom. I never usually got
all excited about it, but this year, I’d hoped to take Jake. My
heart twinged and I turned my thoughts back to the glaring numbers
and symbols on the page. I didn’t want to think about him, either.
It was much easier to present a carefully cultivated façade if my
thoughts were on finals or meetings with the Education
Organization.