Authors: Kaitlin Maitland
Chapter Sixteen
Jessa rolled over and blinked her eyes in the morning sunlight.
Arched windows flanked a massive cherry wood Highboy, their pristine panes draped with rich gold and mauve fabric. Her combat boots lay in an untidy heap beside a fainting couch decked out in gold tassels and overstuffed pillows. The white coffered ceiling was studded with a heavily ornamented fan fancifully shaped like palm fronds. A transparent glass fireplace hinted at the spacious master bath tucked away behind the dividing wall.
Where the hell was she anyway?
Jessa nearly laughed out loud when the disoriented feelings slipped away and she recognized her own bedroom. How odd to wake up in her own bed and not know where she was because she’d spent so many nights sleeping in Connor’s. And she definitely had. It’d been more than a month since Will had left. A month of glorious evenings spent laughing and working with Alex while a pair of hell-black eyes followed her every move. A month of wonderful mornings waking up in Connor’s muscled arms after a night of mouth-watering sex.
Jessa’s mouth twitched into a warm smile. She missed him. The way he would wake up slowly, squeeze her tightly and then press soft kisses to the side of her neck until she opened her eyes and begged him to slide his long cock deep inside her ready warmth. Jessa missed the softness in his dark eyes, that expression he reserved solely for her.
Jessa was so far gone there was no coming back. The painfully proper lady who’d watched Will stride across the marble foyer and out the front door had burned away completely. Left in her place was a woman who hadn’t wanted her two-faced husband, anyway. She was a woman who was tired of society telling her what to say, what to wear and who to love. In short, she was Connor’s woman. Connor’s Jessa.
And that was what had brought her home for a few days. After all, the inconvenient fact was that Jessa and Will were still married, on paper at least.
She rolled out of bed and into the shower with a mile long to-do list ahead of her. Jessa had no idea how long it would take to get the details of this latest wrinkle in her life taken care of, but the lawyer she’d seen the day before had been optimistic.
Jessa didn’t want Will’s money. She wanted out. She wanted to spend her time at
Phoenix Rising
with Connor. The rest of it would work out. She was sure of it.
It didn’t matter that they’d never discussed a permanent relationship or that he’d never dropped the L word. And the total lack of kissing? That was a little bit harder to reason away. Kissing required intimacy. So did love. Was she going to hang her future happiness on one frayed bit of hope? Connor was nothing if not a hard case. Was Jessa ready to take it on faith that if she were patient enough, he’d open up to her?
That same internal argument had raged for days. But Jessa couldn’t believe Connor didn’t love her. The days and nights of passion hot enough to scorch the world couldn’t possibly be a fling.
A fling didn’t include soft looks, stolen moments in the back room and gentle caresses that made Jessa’s heart take flight. It didn’t include exasperated looks from Alex or soft chuckles and shakes of his tousled blonde head.
It wasn’t a fling. It couldn’t be. If it was, Jessa was on the fast track to irreparable heartbreak. The kind that should’ve come with warning labels.
Ending a nineteen-year relationship with Will had been painful, but it was a different kind of painful. There had been fear of failure in that pain. She had done everything he’d ever asked of her. In the end, even turning herself inside out for Will hadn’t been enough.
Connor was different. He’d taken her as she was, as the real Jessa Kincaid, even when Jessa hadn’t been certain who that was. If Connor rejected her after stripping away her protective mask it would be worse, devastatingly so.
Jessa was still having a heated debate with herself when the doorbell chimed. Frowning at her reflection in the mirror, she tossed the hairbrush back on the counter and trotted out of the bathroom.
The car in the driveway was half hidden by a giant rhododendron bush, and Jessa couldn’t see the front porch from the bedroom windows. Hesitantly entering the foyer, she tried to think of anyone who would have a reason to ring her doorbell. It was unlikely to be one of Jessa’s neighbors. They no doubt thought she’d long ago moved out, if they cared about her fate at all beyond any tidbits of juicy gossip.
The bell rang again and Jessa swung open the enormous mahogany door. Anne stood on the other side, tissue in hand and tears streaming down her face.
“Anne? What on earth is wrong?” Jessa demanded, concerned.
“I’m so glad you’re home! I was afraid you wouldn’t be. I didn’t have anywhere else to go and…” Anne broke down into sobs.
Jessa tugged her inside and through the foyer into the formal living room. Anne perched on the brocade sofa and Jessa gingerly sat beside her. In the back of her mind, she wondered why she’d ever purchased furniture that was so horribly uncomfortable to sit on. She’d almost rather sit on one of Connor’s barstools while having a heart-to-heart with Anne.
“Okay, now tell me what’s going on, Anne.”
“I left Jason.”
“That’s wonderful news!”
“But he threw me out of our house!”
Jessa paused, uncertain. “I’m not sure he can do that, honey.”
“He said my name isn’t on the deed! How could my name not be on the deed? I signed papers when we bought the stupid thing! And
my
name is on the payment coupon
I
pay every single month! Who cares if it’s his money that pays it? He was supposed to be my husband!”
Jessa dug her cell phone from her purse and dialed her lawyer’s number. “Sounds like you need to lawyer up, honey.”
“I don’t know any lawyers except Georgia’s husband Dean! And I sure as hell don’t want that bastard representing me against Jason! Not when he’s already hired Kitty’s husband, Chase.”
“Oh I definitely don’t think Dean would be on your side. But my guy is a lot better. Alex calls him the meanest son of a bitch to ever pass the bar exam.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah, and Alex has been the cause of so many divorces, I figure he’s got to know what he’s talking about.”
“I hope so. I don’t know what I’ll do without a house. I might have to get a job!”
“Nothing so drastic, I’m sure,” Jessa said, suppressing a laugh. “Here, talk to him.”
Jessa shoved the phone into Anne’s hand and stood up to give her a little privacy. Not that Jessa would’ve been able to understand a word of the garbled account of events that Anne was blubbering into the phone. Terry must’ve understood desperate woman speech because Anne didn’t seem to be repeating herself. No doubt, he dealt with so many crying females, he’d had to become fluent.
Jessa wandered idly about the living room. It hadn’t been all that long since she’d stood in this room with her own husband of nineteen years while her marriage crumbled to pieces on the pristine oak floor. Only four weeks. Yet her perspective had aged years.
Had it really aged? Sometimes it felt as if the clock were running backwards. Some might say she was acting like an immature college student. Perhaps she was. Perhaps she wasn’t. In the beginning, it had seemed that way. She’d exchanged her hard won self-control for a heady willingness to embrace anything new. Was that immaturity?
Jessa didn’t think so. After all, college students screwed everybody they met on spring break. For Jessa, there was only Connor. What had seemed in the beginning to be reckless abandon had developed into an uncanny trust. Jessa trusted Connor to keep her safe, no matter what new and exciting endeavors life tossed their way.
At the end of it all, wasn’t that what a relationship was supposed to be?
Jessa drifted back to the present when Anne handed the cell phone back. She waited to hear what advice Terry had offered.
“He said to get my ass back to the house and dig in,” Anne said. “Terry says Jason doesn’t have a leg to stand on and that’s why he wanted me to leave the house. That way it would look more like desertion.”
Jessa grimaced. “What an asshole!”
“I’m getting divorced! Can you believe it? After all this time I’ll finally be able to do what I want,” Anne said, face shining through her tears.
“That’s wonderful, honey. I’m happy for you. So don’t you think you should head home?”
Anne shuddered, regaining her composure. “I’ll go in a minute. I have to tell you something I overheard the other day. I’ve been trying to call you, but your number isn’t in service.”
“Will had my account canceled. It doesn’t matter really.” Jessa held up phone in her hand. “This one is Connor’s. He won’t let me leave the bar without it.”
“You’re lucky, Jessa,” Anne mused. “Although I must admit he seemed a little dangerous the other evening.”
“Don’t even try and tell me you didn’t enjoy watching Kitty get exactly what she deserved.”
“Maybe so, but you know Kitty always has the last word.”
A lump formed in Jessa’s stomach.
“Jason and the guys were having drinks in the den and I happened to overhear him and Will talking about you.”
Jessa blinked stupidly. “Did you say Will was at your house the other night?”
“Yes, didn’t you know he was back in town?”
“No!”
“He’s been staying at the club.”
“Is he moving back here?” Jessa demanded.
“I’d guess so. I thought he already had since you’re home for the first time in weeks.”
Adrenaline flooded Jessa’s body. “I’m going to go talk to him.”
“But Jessa, he wants to patch things up. You can’t possibly forgive that rat bastard for everything he’s done.”
“I’ve got no intention of forgiving him.”
“Then why confront him?”
“To tell him it’s over.” Jessa stood up, resolution straightening her spine.
Anne frowned. “You’re going to the club?”
“Sure, my membership is still paid up.”
“But your clothes…”
Anne’s voice died when she saw the intense look on Jessa’s face. Not even Anne was foolish enough to believe that Jessa still cared what anyone at the vaunted country club thought about her anymore.
Anne rose hastily from the sofa. “I guess I’ll be leaving, Jessa. Thank you for listening to me.”
Jessa shot her mischievous grin on their way out the front door. “Keep your ears open, Anne. I’m about to give the grapevine a good shake.”
Connor’s cell phone buzzed insistently inside her bag as she slid behind the wheel of her car. Seeing Terry’s number on the display, she held her breath before ignoring the call. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to put Will’s appearance and Anne’s information together to form a picture of how ugly her divorce was about to get. No doubt, Terry would advise against trying to talk to Will but Jessa needed to get a few things off her chest.
Chapter Seventeen
Jessa hid her amusement at the valet’s obvious perusal of her outfit. She didn’t have to be told that her short black skirt, jacquard corset top and combat boots weren’t what he usually saw around the club. Jessa wasn’t foolish enough to believe the black cashmere hoodie she’d casually pulled on did anything to hide her unusual attire. If anything, the soft clingy fabric made her boobs look even larger.
The etched glass doors swung open and Jessa stalked inside, chin notched up and spine so straight she thought it’d snap. A prim hostess standing idly in front of the restaurant blinked before containing the round O of her surprise and regaining her composure. Jessa ignored her and went straight to the courtesy desk.
An elderly woman in a neat pastel pantsuit looked up from the computer and offered an icy stare. “Can I help you, madam?”
Jessa didn’t miss the hitch in her voice. No doubt the woman meant madam as in French and expensive. “Yes, you may. My husband, Will Kincaid, is staying here. I’d like you to let him know Jessa is waiting for him in the lounge and would like to speak with him immediately.”
“Certainly.”
The ice in the prim manager’s eyes receded only long enough for Jessa to turn around and walk ten steps to where the lounge opened up to a stunning view of the golf course. Jessa could feel the glacial glare on her back the whole way. But she was past caring what these asinine people thought about her. It was time to say an official goodbye to the old Jessa Kincaid. She was Connor’s Jessa now.
Jessa settled herself on a stiff settee where she could watch the entrance. A massive potted banana plant flanked her one side and a table spread with light fare sat on the other. She sighed and crossed her legs, foot bouncing impatiently. Now that she’d decided to do this, she was ready to get it over with.
A paunchy man sporting thin gray hair and a leering expression waggled his bushy eyebrows suggestively from across the room. Jessa shot him a gamine grin just to watch his wife elbow him in the ribs. The couple was quickly forgotten when Jessa spotted the desk manager slinking into the lounge, headed in the opposite direction. Was Will already in the lounge?
Jessa stood and slowly eased around the waxy green leaves of the banana plant. The manager’s cheerful pastel pantsuit blended with the bawdy golfing attire worn by most of the club members. When Jessa finally saw her, she ducked back behind the plant.
Will was there. He was with Chase and Kitty. The three of them appeared to be having an intense conversation. Jessa could only imagine what Kitty would have to say to Will after Alex and Connor’s lethal put down. Anne hadn’t been kidding about Kitty liking the last word. In this case, it was more like an epitaph.
Jessa sank back onto the settee, heart pounding. She needed to find out what Kitty had told Will. She had to know what he already knew before she tried to spring anything else. The time for offense was slipping away. She needed damage control.
Kitty’s willowy frame sashayed into view, headed toward the ladies room. Jessa made a rash, split second decision and followed.
The vaulted ceilings and marble floors made the room seem much larger than necessary. Fountains, huge floral arrangements, and natural light were supposed to make it pleasant and welcoming. Jessa had always found it ridiculously pretentious. It was a ladies bathroom, not a day spa.
Kitty was perched on a silk-cushioned gilt stool before the mirror. Her cosmetics were neatly lined up on the marble-topped counter before her. Jessa met her ice blue eyes in the mirror. There was no welcome in Kitty’s cool gaze.
“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.”
Jessa didn’t miss the pun in her words. “What did you tell him, Kitty?”
She shrugged an elegant shoulder. “Only the truth.”
“That you begged like a whore in front of witnesses for a stranger to fuck you like a bitch in heat?”
Kitty’s face briefly contorted with rage before sliding back into her practiced mask of civility. “Is that what it seemed, Jessa darling? Perhaps you were too drunk to remember what happened. I mentioned that to your doting husband, you know. I can certainly tell you he was concerned at the downward spiral you’re obviously experiencing.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Besides, Will wasn’t interested in me. He was more interested in the ex-convict his dear wife is seeing behind his back.”
Jessa swallowed thickly. Ex-convict?
The satisfaction on Kitty’s face made Jessa’s belly clench in anger. “Oh goodness me, Jessa, didn’t you know?”
“It doesn’t matter what Connor did in the past, Kitty.”
“Will thinks it does.”
“And you think I care what Will thinks?”
“Come on, sweetie.” Kitty applied her mascara with precision. “Men like Connor are fine for a quick fuck. But you can’t possibly think to stay with him. He can’t give you anything. Will has the money and he wants to make amends. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll tell him sorry and beg him to take you back.”
“Never.”
“So you’re going to run back to that murderer at the bar?”
Murderer?
“He did time for attempted murder, honey. I’ll bet a man that big has a hard time controlling his temper. Next time he might go too far and actually kill someone.” Kitty’s gaze narrowed. “Someone like you.”
“You bitch, that’s what you told Will?”
“Of course. Chase has plenty of friends at the courthouse. It was easy for him to get the particulars. Chase and Will have always been close friends, you know. They look out for one another.”
Jessa closed her eyes and breathed deeply. So Connor had gone to jail for attempted murder? The facts fit the profile. That was true enough. Spending time in prison would account for so much of his withdrawal. It also explained why Alex had been hesitant to say anything about what Connor was up to during the six years Alex was overseas.
“You look pale, Jessa, honey. Why don’t you lie down for awhile?” Kitty’s frank inspection of Jessa’s clothes made her skin crawl. “And then maybe you should head to the boutique and find a more appropriate outfit. We don’t allow strippers in here. You know that.”
Jessa couldn’t take anymore. She spun on her heel and bolted from the ladies room. She’d intended to retrieve her car and retreat to
Phoenix Rising
to get her thoughts together, maybe talk to Alex if Connor didn’t seem inclined to explain. But her plans changed abruptly when she slammed bodily into Will before reaching the front doors.
“Jessa! Darling, you’re here!”’
His pale green eyes brightened before they looked her up and down, several times. Jessa had the insane urge to find a blanket and wrap it around her body. How could one man’s gaze feel so different from another’s? When Connor gave her that lingering stare with his hellfire eyes, she quivered in anticipation. Will’s frank look made her want to projectile vomit.
“Sorry Will, I was just leaving.”
“Jessa honey, wait. We need to talk.”
“No talk. My lawyer will send you papers. Sign on the dotted line, no words necessary.”
“You can’t be serious.”
The drop in his tone signified his rising temper. Jessa couldn’t bring herself to care. “I don’t want to patch things up. I want a divorce.”
She was practically shouting. He glanced around and offered brilliantly fake smiles to a few people lingering in the foyer. Obviously, he was still obsessed with his uber-civilized facade. Jessa couldn’t understand why cheating on his wife didn’t tarnish his image, but her wanting a divorce because of it did. Nothing about their prim, tight-assed society rules made sense to her anymore.
“Do you really think divorce is going to solve your problems, Jessa?”
The blatantly patronizing tone in his voice caused Jessa to bristle with outrage. “Me? You’re asking me if divorce will solve my problems? Are you insane? You’re the one who left.”
He roughly grabbed her elbow and steered her into a deserted corner of the lounge. “There’s no need to be so loud. This is between you and me.”
“No, it
was
between you and me. Then you made it between you, me, and Ginny. How
are
Ginny and the darling children, by the way?”
Despite the gravity of the situation, Jessa felt a moment of levity in the expression on Will’s face. His lips thinned to a narrow line and he gnashed his teeth together, making the muscles in his jaw bounce.
“Ginny is fine.”
“Really?”
“Our relationship wasn’t worth losing the nineteen years I’d spent with you.”
Jessa crossed her arms and shot him a cool look of boredom. “Mm-hmm, yeah, right.”
“Don’t act as if it meant nothing.”
“Oh, it wasn’t me that acted as if our marriage meant nothing, Will. It was you.”
Will’s hand sliced angrily through the air. “Enough bullshit, Jessa. I’m not granting you a divorce, and that’s final. And you’d better move your ass back home tonight. I’m done giving you space. Don’t think I’m unaware of what kind of company you’ve been keeping. It’s going to stop.”
His green eyes flashed angrily. One hand curled into a tight fist and Jessa couldn’t stop nineteen long years of conditioning. Her mouth snapped shut as if glued. Angry words pounded her brain, but they were stopped by a dam that Jessa had spent ages constructing.
Will shook himself, straightening his immaculate polo shirt and picking imaginary lint from his khakis. “That’s better.”
Words trickled over her tongue but never made it out of her mouth. Jessa could only watch in numb horror as Will leaned down and brushed an impersonal kiss over her cheek before waving to Chase.
“I’ve got a tee time to make, Jessa doll. You don’t mind do you?” He eyed her outfit again. “And find yourself some more appropriate clothing, please.”
He walked away from her. Jessa let him. None of her newfound bravery, sensual freedom, or determination could wash away the lessons so hard learned during her marriage.
She was a weak, pathetic little mouse. What was wrong with her?
Maybe nothing could change how you were inside. Maybe she was really doomed to spend the rest of her life as a comfortable place for Will to stand.
If that were the case, she would be better off dead.