Read Phineas L. MacGuire . . . Gets Slimed! Online

Authors: Frances O'Roark Dowell

Phineas L. MacGuire . . . Gets Slimed!

 

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If you purchased this book without a cover you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publisher and neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.” • ATHENEUM BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS • An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing Division • 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020 •
www.SimonandSchuster.com
• This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. • Text copyright © 2007 by Frances O'Roark Dowell • Illustrations copyright © 2007 by Preston McDaniels • All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. • Atheneum Books for Young Readers is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. • For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or [email protected] • The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event, contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at
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. • Also available in an Atheneum Books for Young Readers hardcover edition. • Book design by Sonia Chaghatzbanian and Michael McCartney • The text of this book is set in GarthGraphic. • The illustrations for this book are rendered in pencil. • Manufactured in the United States of America • 0510 OFF • First Atheneum Books for Young Readers paperback edition June 2010 • 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 • The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows: Dowell, Frances O'Roark. • Phineas L. MacGuire… gets slimed! / Frances O'Roark Dowell; Illustrated by Preston L. McDaniels—1st ed. • p. cm. • Summary: When his new best friend, Ben, decides to run for class president, fourth-grade science whiz Phineas MacGuire reluctantly agrees to be his campaign manager in exchange for help with his latest experiment—cultivating exhibits for a mold museum. • ISBN 978-1-4169-0196-9 (hc) • [1. Molds (Fungi)—Fiction. 2. Science—Experiments—Fiction. 3. Elections—Fiction. 4. Schools—Fiction. 5. Friendship—Fiction.] I. McDaniels, Preston L., ill. II. Title. • PZ7.D75455Phi 2007 • [Fic]—dc22 • 2006014193 • ISBN 978-1-4169-9775-7 (pbk) • ISBN 978-1-4424-0665-0 (eBook)

 

For Will Dowell, Boy Genius

—F. O. D.

The author would like to thank Tom and Kathryn Harris, next-door neighbors extraordinaire, for sharing their tale of the frog in the toilet. She would also like to thank Caitlyn Dlouhy, and Clifton and Jack Dowell, for their support and patience.

 

PHINEAS L. MACGUIRE …
GETS SLIMED!

My name is Phineas Listerman MacGuire.

Most people call me Mac.

My Sunday-school teacher and my pediatrician call me Phineas.

A few people, mostly my great-uncle Phil and his cockatiel, Sparky, call me Phin.

Nobody calls me Listerman.

Nobody.

I mean not one single person.

Everybody got that?

I am currently in the fourth grade at Woodbrook Elementary School. On the first day of school my teacher, Mrs. Tuttle, asked us to write down our number one, two, and three goals for the year. Here is what I wrote:

  1. To be the best fourth-grade scientist ever
  2. To be the best fourth-grade scientist ever
  3. To be the best fourth-grade scientist ever

So far this has not happened.

For example, I did not win the fourth-grade science fair. Me and my best friend, Ben, got an honorable mention.
We made a volcano. It was a pretty good volcano, since I am an expert volcano maker. But these days it takes more than baking soda and vinegar to get a science fair judge excited.

I learned that the hard way.

Today Mrs. Tuttle asked us to take out our goal sheets and review our goals. She says the first week of November is a good time for goal reviewing. She also says most people who don't meet their goals fail because they forget what their goals were in the first place.

“What is one step you can make this week that will help you meet one of your
goals?” Mrs. Tuttle asked. She took a yellow rubber frog from the jar of rubber frogs she keeps on her desk and balanced it on the tip of her finger. “Think of one small thing you can do.”

I put my head down on my desk. After getting an honorable mention in the science fair, the only step I could take was to erase my three goals and start over. Maybe my goal could be to remember to take my gym clothes home on Friday afternoons.

Not that I would ever meet that goal either.

Aretha Timmons, who sits behind me in Mrs. Tuttle's class and who won second place in the fourth-grade science fair, popped her pencil against the back of my head.

“Why so glum, chum?” she asked.
“What goals did you put down, anyway?”

I held up my paper so she could read it. “Hmmm,” she said. “Well, it's still pretty early in the year. You could do something amazing before Christmas if you put your mind to it.”

Ben, who sits one row over and two seats back from me, leaned toward us. “I've got two words for you, Mac: Albert ‘Mr. Genius Scientist' Einstein.”

“That's five words,” I said.

Maybe Ben's goal should be to learn how to count.

“My point is, Albert Einstein, the most
famous genius scientist of the world, flunked math about a thousand times. I don't think he even graduated from high school. He was a complete birdbrain until he was thirty or something.”

“I didn't flunk math,” I told him. “I just didn't win first prize at the science fair.”

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