“Yo, where you goin', ma?” Phareed said.
“I was going to the bathroom,” she quickly answered.
“Let me escort you.” He pulled her with him.
In the bathroom, Billie grabbed on to the edge of the sink and looked at herself in the mirror, wondering how she had gotten herself into this mess. There was no way of getting out of the club without Phareed. He was expecting to fuck once they left the club. She searched her face for an answer to her problem. How could she get out of fucking Phareed? Billie took a deep breath and exited the bathroom.
Phareed was waiting as soon as she walked out. “Let's go.” He took her arm and walked her to the exit of the club. As they were exiting Billie looked behind them and saw Isis staring at them with the angriest face she had ever seen.
As soon as they were in Phareed's Hummer, Billie grabbed Phareed's dick. “You want me to suck your dick, daddy?”
“I don't get down with the little high school blowjob in the car game. I'm gonna taste all of you the proper way. I need to know what my clients are gonna be experiencing. Make sure you worth it.”
“I'm on my period,” she said, hoping the same lie she told Stone would work.
“I don't give a fuck. You still gonna be fuckin' for money even when you bleedin'.”
Billie leaned over to start sucking his dick, hoping that once she started he would forget his “no blowjobs in the car” rule.
Phareed pushed her head back. “What I just say? You can suck my dick when we get to my crib.”
Billie didn't know what else to do. She looked out the passenger window and watched the buildings pass by as she began psyching herself up to fuck Phareed. She was giving herself a pep talk and convincing herself that it would only be one time. She figured she needed to take one for the team to complete her goal.
Billie could feel the butterflies in her stomach as they pulled up in front of Phareed's crib.
Fuck it. If I'm going to do this, I might as well have fun,
she thought and exited the car.
“Damn! That shit was off the chain. Fuck pimpin' your ass out. I might have to keep you for myself.” Phareed chuckled.
Phareed's phone started ringing. He leaned over the side of the bed and took it out of his pants pocket and looked at the caller ID.
He answered. “Hold up a minute.” He looked to Billie. “Go get my weed in the closet. It's in the first drawer on the left.”
Billie rolled her eyes and got out of bed.
“What up, Jumbo?” Phareed said into the phone.
Billie entered the large walk-in closet. It was filled with rows and rows of the most expensive designer clothes. The left wall of the closet had a row of six small drawers stacked on top of each other. Billie opened the top drawer and a strong smell of pot hit her nose. She picked up the Ziploc bag full of fat, green bud sitting in the front of the drawer. As she was about to close the drawer something caught her eye. In the back of the drawer was a brown leather wallet. Billie couldn't control her curiosity. She put the weed down, reached in, and took the wallet. The second she opened it up, her heart sank and her hands began to shake.
“The fuck you doin'?” Phareed grabbed the wallet out of her hand.
“Nothing.” Billie put her hands behind her back so Phareed didn't see them shaking.
“I told you to get my weed, not look at my shit.”
“I thought it was a cool wallet. Why don't you use it?” She gave a weak smile. Billie felt like her entire body was shaking. She wasn't sure if she was going to be able to keep control.
“Nah. This right here a souvenir. This the first nigga I ever murked.” Phareed laughed, then stared at the wallet like he was thinking back to the day. He took a second, then flipped it back into the drawer like a piece of trash.
It took all of Billie's strength to not attack him right there. She wanted to slit his throat and make him suffer. She felt a tear fall from her eye. She quickly brushed past him and left the closet. Once past him she wiped the tear trickling down her cheek.
Billie frantically put her clothes on while Phareed rolled a blunt in his closet. Fully dressed, she ran down the stairs and out the door. As she was leaving she heard Phareed call for her from upstairs.
She ran as fast and as far as she could. She wanted to outrun the hurt and the pain she was feeling. When she couldn't go any farther she leaned up against the wall of an apartment building and broke down crying. All the emotions she had bottled up for the past twenty years exploded out of her in tears and wails. She was crying so hard she was convulsing. Visions of her father were running through her head. She saw him kissing her good night, she saw herself running up to him as he arrived home from work, she saw him tossing her in the air, catching her, then squeezing her with a tight hug. When the realization hit her that she had just fucked her father's killer, she threw up uncontrollably. Heave after heave of bile came spewing from the depths of her stomach. Her body was trying to purge itself of any trace of sex it had just experienced. She felt dirty, she felt stupid, she felt she betrayed her father.
After letting all of her emotions run out, Billie composed herself the best she could and started the long walk home. Her brain felt numb. As if in a trance she stared straight ahead and walked zombie-like through the streets.
When she finally made it back to her house she had no memory of how she had gotten there. She sat in her tub and let the water from the shower rain down on her. The burn from the hot water felt good to Billie. She needed to feel some pain to amend her betrayal of her father. Billie sat in the tub so long the hot water ran out and turned ice cold. Even then she didn't get out right away. More punishment for her mistake.
Billie dried off, walked into her bedroom, and collapsed on her bed. The last vision she had before she passed out was of her father, twenty years earlier, walking out the door for the last time.
Chapter 14
Billie woke the next morning feeling like she had the worst hangover. Her head was throbbing and her body ached from all the crying she had done the night before. She popped three Advil and heated up some water for tea.
Sitting at her kitchen table, she massaged her temples, hoping that it might somehow wipe away the images of the previous night. Her teakettle whistled and ended her temple massage. She poured the boiling water into her favorite mug, but her ringing phone stopped her from sitting back down at the table.
She let out a sigh and answered the phone. “Hello.”
“Billie, it's Kevin.”
Billie rolled her eyes. “Kevin, I'm on a leave of absence. I'm not helping you with any of your cases. Okay?”
“That's not what I'm calling about.”
Billie noticed Kevin was whispering and there was an urgency in his voice.
“What's up?” she asked.
“We are moving forward with our case against Phareed. They should be picking him up later. Thought you would want to know.”
“Wait. What?” Billie was not expecting to hear that.
“I'm going to put this motherfucker behind bars.”
“What time?” Billie was getting nervous.
“As soon as possible. Probably this evening.”
“No.” Billie covered her mouth. She didn't mean to scream the word.
“Come back to work. You can work the case with me. We can both make our names when we win.”
“I gotta go.”
Billie's headache was gone and her feelings of guilt disappeared too. She immediately jumped into action. She had to get to Phareed before the police. That motherfucker had to be dead, not behind bars with some bullshit sentence that would be over in no time.
In the bathroom she pulled her hair back into a ponytail, freshened up her makeup, and brushed her teeth. Her knife set went into her purse. She threw on a pair of jeans, a cream-colored blouse, some fuck-me pumps, and she was out the door. She wasn't overly concerned with her appearance. She only needed to get back into Phareed's apartment and then she could take care of business. The tricky part was going to be getting inside without anyone seeing her. It was still light out, so she couldn't operate under cover of darkness.
Billie parked her car around the block from Phareed's. She walked to the corner of his street to check things out. There were a few people walking down the street in the opposite direction. Billie didn't waste any time and started for the house. It was in the middle of the block, so she had to make it fast. She didn't want a soul seeing her anywhere near his house.
She was about a quarter of the way there when she heard police sirens. They were coming her way fast. Billie stopped and listened. The sirens were getting closer. She didn't know what to do. She had to make a decision.
Running toward the house, she planned to warn Phareed and get him safely out of there before the cops arrived. He was her prey, and no one else was going to bag him.
By the time she got in front of the house, the sirens were right around the corner. She wasn't going to make it in time. They would be there before she could even get up to the door. She was going to lose him, and other than the death of her father, this was the worst feeling she'd ever had.
The police car got to the corner and Billie started walking away, furious that she'd never get the revenge her father deserved. To her shock and delight, though, the car didn't come screeching around the corner. It kept going straight. They weren't coming for Phareed after all. Billie couldn't believe her luck. She knew it was her daddy looking down on her. With a smile on her face, she looked up to the sky and said, “Thanks, Daddy.”
She composed herself and walked back to Phareed's door, ready to complete her mission. Looking around first to make sure no one was around, she knocked on the door. As she waited for Phareed for what seemed like an eternity, she kept looking in all directions, making sure it was clear.
Phareed answered the door wearing a tight white T-shirt and a pair of baggy gray Sean John sweatpants. He smiled when he saw Billie standing in front of him.
“You back for seconds?” He stepped aside for her to enter.
Billie smiled and slipped inside. She was relieved he wasn't pissed about her leaving so suddenly.
Phareed wasted no time. He grabbed her from behind and started kissing her neck. She was instantly sick to her stomach.
Billie pulled away from him. “Hold on. Let's really enjoy this. You get that weed. I'll get in bed.”
“Now we talkin'.” He pulled her back into him and sloppily kissed her on the lips. Even though she was repulsed, she kept her act going and kissed him back with passion. His dick jumped to attention, and he put both hands on her ass and lifted her up.
He didn't break their kiss as he carried her into the bedroom and dropped her on the bed. He reached into his sweats and pulled out his long, thick dick. It was inches from Billie's face, but she couldn't bear the thought of letting him into her mouth. She definitely wasn't going to suck his dick. Instead she grabbed it and started stroking it gently, all the while imagining herself ripping it off with her bare hands.
“I like to get fucked when I'm high, daddy. Come on. Let's blaze; then you can fuck me however you like.”
“Mmmmm, a'ight, ma.” He reluctantly pulled away from her grasp.
As soon as his back was turned, Billie hurriedly stripped down to her bra and underwear, took her butcher knife, and stashed it under a pillow. She leaned back in a seductive pose and waited for her target to get back from rolling a blunt. Billie pictured Phareed rolling the blunt right next to her father's wallet and it drove her mad. It was going to take every ounce of strength for her to act seductive when he returned to the bedroom.
“Hurry up,” she yelled out. Billie needed to move things along. The police could be storming through the door at any minute.
“Relax, ma. You gonna get fucked.” Phareed came back in the room, puffing on the blunt.
Phareed handed the blunt to Billie. “Now, where were we?” Phareed pulled his dick back out of his sweats.
“Mmmmm. You want me to suck your dick? Get over here.” Billie pulled him by his waist so he was standing in front of her while she sat on the edge of the bed.
She wrapped her hand around his hard cock and took a hit from the blunt. She slid down off the bed and onto her knees and placed the blunt on top of the dresser next to the bed.
“Close your eyes,” she said.
“Nah, girl, I want to watch.”
“Close your eyes or you don't get any head.” She gently kissed the tip of his dick.
This time he obeyed. When she saw his eyes closed she stroked his dick with one hand and reached under the pillow with the other. “You like that? You want me to suck this big dick?” she said.
“Yeah, suck my dick, baby.” He moaned and leaned his head back.
Billie took hold of the butcher knife. Without hesitation she pulled it out and sliced through both of Phareed's Achilles tendons. Phareed collapsed to the ground like a rag doll, and blood immediately gushed around his feet.
“What the fuck?” he screamed.
Billie jumped up to her feet and stood over Phareed. He attempted to stand up and attack her, but the instant he put weight on his feet he collapsed again.
“You fuckin' bitch! I'ma kill you!” he screamed, even though his self-preservation instincts kicked in and he turned away from her to escape. He had lost the use of his legs, so he started to pull himself across the floor by his arms.
Billie took satisfaction in watching him struggle to get away. She slowly walked over to him and stomped on his left Achilles.
He screamed in agony. “Ahhhh! Fuck you, bitch!” The extreme pain shot straight up his leg. He flipped over on to his back and grabbed his calf muscle to try to stop the pain. Now in fight mode, Phareed swiped at Billie and tried to grab her by the leg. He badly missed, and she laughed in delight.
“You sorry motherfucker,” she said through her laugh.
Billie desperately wanted to torture Phareed with a long, drawn-out process, but she was on a time limit.
No time for fun,
she thought.
“I could do this all day.” She smiled.
“Fuck you,” he said through gritted teeth. He flipped back on to his stomach and started to scramble away from Billie.
Billie took pleasure in watching him clumsily heave across the floor in retreat. She felt like a leopard in the Serengeti stalking its wounded prey.
Her pleasure was interrupted when she realized what Phareed was actually doing. He was scrambling for his gun. Of course, there was no chance of him making it there first. Billie slowly walked over to the dresser, picked up the 9mm, and pointed it at Phareed.
“You going for this?” she said wickedly.
Phareed stopped moving and hung his head.
“Bitch-ass punk,” she said. Way off in the distance she heard a faint siren. She was sure this time those sirens were headed for Phareed. She had no more time left to play.
“Look at me,” she demanded.
Phareed continued hanging his head and looking at the floor.
“Look at me!” she screamed at him.
Phareed slowly lifted his head. He had a look of evil on his face as he looked at Billie.
“Look me in the eye,” she commanded. “Do you see my daddy in these eyes?”
“I don't know who your mu'fuckin' daddy is,” he snarled at her.
“You should. You've got his wallet in your closet.” Billie pulled the triggerâand kept pulling it another twenty times. Phareed's body convulsed every time it was hit with another bullet. Some bullets missed, but most hit their target.
Billie stared at Phareed's mangled and bloody body in disbelief. She had been chasing Phareed for so long, thinking only that he was the city's biggest drug dealer. Little did she know he was also the man who had killed her father. Now, not only had she rid the streets of a major criminal, but she had avenged her father's death. Billie felt that her father was looking down on her and had guided her to Phareed.
Police sirens getting closer snapped Billie out of her trance. She stepped over Phareed, making sure not to touch any of the blood on the floor. With tears in her eyes, she ran into the closet and got her father's wallet.
She quickly put her clothes on, threw the knife, gun, and wallet into her purse, and was out the door.
The sirens were getting louder as Billie raced down the sidewalk. Just as she arrived at the corner, the police cars passed by. Billie put her head down and kept walking as they screeched around the corner and stopped in front of Phareed's house. Billie made it to her car, threw her purse in the passenger seat, and drove off.
For a while, she kept checking her rearview to see if any cops followed her. The farther she got from Phareed's the safer she felt.
Billie drove to a park along the Delaware River and got out. She walked through the park until she came to the water's edge, where she stood and looked across to New Jersey. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out the gun and held it in front of her. A satisfied smile spread across her face. In all the years since her father's death, she'd dreamed of getting revenge, but part of her didn't believe she'd ever really get it. She figured the closest she'd ever come was making other criminals pay for the crime. In a city full of criminals, never in a million years did she think that she would find the man who murdered her fatherâand that she would be holding the gun that she used to exact her revenge.
She cocked her arm and threw the gun as far into the river as she could. The knife followed the gun into the river. Just as Billie was about to throw the wallet, she stopped herself. She opened the wallet and looked at her father's driver's license. There he was, smiling at her, and she knew she could never throw it away. The wallet was now Billie's souvenir.
Billie thought about the image of Phareed lying dead on the floor. It was an image she never wanted to forget. It made her happy.