Perfect Regret ( BOOK 2) (24 page)

Once the sound of Garrett’s van disappeared, Gracie held open the door and let me inside. The house was just as I pictured the place where Gracie grew up. It was prim and proper. Everything tidy and in its place. There were framed family portraits on the shelves, Christmas cards made into a wreathe on the wall.

Gracie led me into the living room where a fire burned in a huge fireplace and a magnificent Christmas tree stood in the corner
. It’s a very WASPy Christmas!
I thought and then mentally scolded myself for being unkind. I didn’t know her parents; maybe they were very nice people despite the Keeping Up with the Joneses air that their home gave off.

“My parents are out to dinner. Thank freaking god! They’re driving me nuts!” Gracie said on a sigh, indicating for me to take a seat. Her easy naturalness threw me after months of fake civility.

“Stop looking at me like I’m an alien, Ri. I swear, I
am
Gracie Cook and not a pod person,” she giggled as I sat down on the couch.

“Well I’m glad there are no pod people present. That would make for some awkward conversation,” I remarked dryly. Gracie held out a bowl of walnuts, offering them to me. I shook my head and she started digging in with zeal.

“So how’ve you been?” she asked me after a few minutes of me listening to her crunching.

I couldn’t help but laugh. Gracie looked at me questioningly.

“It’s just funny that here we are, all super normal like and you’re asking me how I’m doing. Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” I asked her.

Gracie made a face. “I spend all day telling people how I’m doing. It would be nice to talk about someone else. Just to shake things up a bit,” she joked and I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to address the reasons for my neglectful friendship. I wanted to figure out how to fix all the ways our relationship had soured. I wanted to take the bull by the horns after months of skirting issues instead of facing them head on.

And it seemed in some ways, Gracie was taking a leaf out of the Riley Walker book of confrontation. Get it out of the way as succinctly as possible.

“So I see you and Garrett are working things out,” she stated matter of factly.

It’s a good thing I wasn’t eating any of those freaking nuts, or I would have required the Heimlich maneuver.

“Um…yeah. I guess we should talk about that,” I said slowly.

Gracie blew out an exasperated breath. “Should we talk about the fact that you’ve been crazy in love with him for months now?” she asked me pointedly and this time I did choke.

“Excuse me?” I practically shouted.

Gracie giggled again. “I am
so
right! I knew it! You love Garrett Bellows! Riley and Garrett sitting in a tree…” she couldn’t continue over her hysterical laughter.

My face flamed red. “Well, I’m glad you find this so amusing,” I said, trying not to be irritated by the girl who had nearly died just days ago and was now laughing her ass off at the state of my love life.

Gracie made an effort to calm down. “I just never thought I’d see the day you would fall for a guy like Garrett.” She dropped her voice into a conspiratorial whisper. “I mean, he’s a townie and in a
band.
I couldn’t imagine someone so
not
your type.” And then she was giggling again.

Well, I didn’t know what to do. This was
not
how I envisioned this conversation going. I had pictured me cataloging the thousands of ways I had failed her as a friend. Gracie giving me the understandable cold shoulder. We’d hash out our issues. Gracie would cry. I’d give her some tissues. End of scene.

I was definitely not prepared for Gracie laughing her ass off over my reality defying relationship with Garrett. Not after the months of barely polite interactions I had endured with her.

“Yeah, funny stuff,” I bit out.
I will not strangle the girl who almost died of alcohol poisoning. I will not strangle the girl who almost died of alcohol poisoning. I will not…

Gracie pinched her lips together, most likely to control her bout of hysterics. “I’m sorry. That was rude. I’m happy for your, Ri. Honest and truly. You deserve a guy like Garrett. He’s pretty amazing,” she said a little wistfully.

Now I could get to the root of our issues.

“You’re happy for me? Because from the way things have been between us, I was expecting a dart in the neck at the very least,” I said wryly and Gracie looked sheepish.

“Okay, I was pissed.” Gracie grimaced. “I was jealous and angry and bitter. All I could see was perfect princess Riley getting something I wanted. I’ve been a mess of fucked up feelings for a while now. And I’ve unfairly made you a focal point for a lot of my shit,” Gracie confessed.

“Two weeks sober and getting into some heavy duty therapy can make things a lot clearer. I liked Garrett. But I didn’t want anything more than a new toy to play with. And when he offered only friendship I tried to manipulate it into something else. I’m a screwed up chick, Riley. Garrett says I’ve got Daddy issues.” Gracie looked away and I realized I knew very little about Gracie’s home life. I didn’t know much beyond the fact that her parents lived in this perfect Suburban house and she had a close relationship with her sister.

“Who knows? I guess my therapist will dig into all that psychological stuff. My point is I’ve been overdosing on the crazy for too long now. I don’t have those feelings for Garrett. I never did. So if that is standing in your way at all, get over it. I won’t be your excuse for missing out on a relationship with a great guy,” Gracie scolded me good-naturedly.

I swear I must have touched down in the Twilight Zone. I must have looked as shocked as I felt because Gracie tossed a nut at my face, which I barely swatted out of the way before it hit my nose.

“Not how you pictured this talk going? Do you want me to cry so you can give me some tissues? And then we can talk about our heavy flow or something?” Gracie teased, proving she knew me entirely too well.

I chuckled. “I’m quite okay with leaving the period discussion for another day. You know if you’re feeling tired or something.”

We had a moment of total normalcy. It felt unbelievably good. After months of topsy-turvy, this felt amazing.

Reaching over and grabbing a handful of M&Ms from another dish on the coffee table I finally asked one of the questions that needed to be asked. “When are you coming back to school?”

Gracie’s lips thinned out and she looked down. “I’m going to take a semester off. For now. I need to get myself together. I’ve been going out of control for a while now. I can’t go back until I know I can handle it,” she said with a surety that was good to hear.

Her words weren’t surprising but they made me sad all the same. Maysie would be graduating early and Gracie wouldn’t be coming back next semester. It seemed as though my last semester at Rinard was going to be a lonely one. Not exactly how I pictured my senior year of college.

“You do what you need to do,” I said, making sure I sounded supportive. Because Gracie was right. She needed a breather. College and parties and the stress of graduating were the last thing she needed.

“Thanks. I plan on it. And you’ll be so busy being awesome you’ll breeze through your last few months. Then you’ll be off to some fantastic grad school so you can become a kick ass journalist and give Barbara Walters a run for her money. BW pre-View, of course,” Gracie added before I could say it.

I grinned. “You know me too well, G.” I tossed some more chocolate in my mouth.

“And just maybe you could spend your summer going across country with a certain hot ass guitarist and his superlicious band,” Gracie suggested, wiggling her eyebrows.

Shit! I had forgotten about the tour. Garrett would be leaving. For a long time.

Gracie made a dismissive hand gesture, pulling me out of my black thoughts. “But you’ll figure it all out. Because that’s what you do. You figure stuff out and make the rest of us look like complete slackers for not having the slightest clue,” Gracie said affectionately though I felt a sting at her words.

I reached over and grabbed her hand, surprising her. “If I’ve ever made you feel like that, I’m sorry. I’m no better or more together than anyone else. I’m just as screwed up and clueless and the next girl. I just hide it better,” I admitted.

Gracie didn’t say anything for a minute but then covered my hand with hers. “No, you’ve got it wrong, Ri. You could never be clueless or screwed up. You are smart and dedicated and everything I want to be. You can’t be the same as the rest of us. I need something to aspire to, girlfriend,” she said in a mixture of teasing lightness and absolute sincerity.

I squeezed her hand. “You give me way too much credit, Gracie and you don’t give yourself enough.”

She squeezed back and that piece that had been broken started to slowly mend.

I
was a nervous wreck. It was downright comical.

I was pacing back and forth in my room. I had changed my clothes three times before settling on a very un-Riley like black skirt and deep blue shirt. I had pulled my long, brown hair back into a low ponytail and even put on some makeup.

Because Garrett was coming over.

You heard that right. I had pulled out the thermoneculuer girl crazies over Garrett I Can Barely Get Myself Dressed Bellows.

As I was leaving Gracie’s house, my phone had started to ring. I glanced at the number that I had never bothered to program into my phone and recognized it instantly. I would never forget those digits even if I had at one time desperately wanted to.

“You answered,” Garrett said by way of greeting.

I laughed. “Well, I figured since I had nothing better to do.”

Garrett laughed as well. “At least your honest,” he said.

“It’s a character flaw. Sorry,” I teased, enjoying the easy banter that we had always been able to enjoy together.

“Definitely not a character flaw, Riley,” he said gently and I was once again taken aback by this soft and tender side of Garrett. I knew it was a side very few got to see. And I was thankful to be one of those individuals.

“So can I come over later?” he asked.

“To my apartment?” I asked, wishing like hell I would stop asking such moronic questions with such obvious answers.

Garrett made a snorting nose and I couldn’t stop grinning. “Well that is where you’re living these days, right?”

“Your wit is astounding, Garrett,” I replied. “You don’t want to go out? Get something to eat?” I suggested, hoping he took me up on the offer. For some reason the thought of sitting around my apartment with him made my nerves kick into overdrive.

I had been naked with this guy on two occasions. He had kissed and touched every single inch of me, but the thought of sitting beside him on my couch making small talk had me quivering like a preacher’s daughter in the backseat of her boyfriend’s car.

“I’d really like to spend time with you…alone. If that’s okay, I mean,” he sounded unsure and I knew my hesitance was the reason.

“No, that’ fine. I’d love for you to come over,” I said hurriedly, not wanting him to ever think I didn’t want to spend time with him. If I needed to spend the rest of my life reassuring him, then so be it.

“Great. I’ll bring food. Anything you’re in the mood for?” he asked, sounding more relaxed now that I’ve agreed to his plans.

“I’d kill for some Chinese. Sweet and sour chicken to be precise. Think you can arrange that?” I inquired coyly.

“Me hunter. Go kill food and bring it to woman,” he joked and I laughed. Who knew Garrett had such a sense of humor?

And that’s how I found myself three hours later, a bundle of jangled nerves and sweaty palms.

“When did Banana Republic Barbie move in?” Maysie asked coming to a stop as she walked passed my open bedroom door.

I held up my hand, stopping her. “Don’t. Just don’t. I feel like I’m going to vomit as it is. I don’t need your well intentioned jokes about my clothes.” Glancing at my reflection in the mirror I did look a little green.

“Woah, Riley. You’re uncharacteristic freak out is
freaking
me out,” Maysie said, looking unsure as to whether she should venture into my bedroom.

I watched with dread as understanding dawned on her face. “Garrett’s coming over,” she stated. When I didn’t answer she clapped her hands together like a seal and made a loud whooping noise.

“Ugh. Okay. You guessed it. Garrett’s coming over and my panties are officially in a bunch,” I told her with a healthy dose of scathing sarcasm.

“Come on, Riley. This is Garrett we’re talking about here. You’ll be lucky if he remembered to wear matching socks. No sense in getting so worked up about it,” she placated. But I wasn’t feeling the calm down vibes.

I couldn’t explain why I was so nervous. Maysie was right. Garrett was the most laid back person I knew. But this was different. This was the beginning of something new. Garrett and I were finally walking together into that place we had been dancing around since that night all those months ago when I had woken up naked and mortified in his bed.

Maysie’s face softened and she came in and gave me a hug. “I’ve never seen you like this, Riley. It’s so damn cute,” she couldn’t help but add. I gave her a punch on the arm, and none too lightly. She winced around a smile.

The doorbell rang and she looked at me, a mischievous twinkle in her eye and took off running for the front of the apartment. I took off after her.

“I will kick your ass, Maysie Ardin! Don’t think I won’t!” I threatened, practically tackling her as she reached the door.

“I just want to let him in. Give him the safe sex talk, oh wait. Too late for that one,” she joked, clearly pleased with herself.

I groaned and reached around her to open the door and wished I could run for the hills. Because Garrett was on the doorstep, with Jordan. Both of them were carrying bags of food and Jordan held a couple of movies. Obviously our “alone time” was turning into a double date.

But Garrett…he looked amazing. I did a double take when I finally took him in. His hair was pushing back off his face and his eyes were bright and lucid. He wore a faded but comfortable pair of jeans and button up tan and green plaid shirt, tucked in I might add, and rolled up to his elbows. He had traded in his customary Vans for a brown pair of Dr. Martins.

I couldn’t stop the grin that spread across my face and I forgot all about sharing our night with Maysie and Jordan. All I cared about was this guy standing in my doorway with a shy smile on his uncertain face.

His eyes raked me from toe to head and he clearly liked what he saw. “You look beautiful, Ri,” he said with such intensity that it made me blush.

“You clean up pretty well yourself,” I told him, wishing he’d reach out and touch me already.

“You both look downright fuckable. Now, move Riley, this bag is heavy,” Jordan complained, pushing passed me so he could suck on his girlfriend’s face before heading to the kitchen.

I looked over my shoulder at Maysie who gave me an apologetic smile. “I didn’t know you wanted the apartment. I invited Jordan for dinner and a movie. He’s staying over. Is that okay? Because if it’s a problem, we can go out.” She sounded so worried that I couldn’t tell her what I was really thinking. Which was,
hell yeah, get out!

“Nooo,” I dragged out. “It’s fine. I just hope you don’t expect us to sit through another round of
The Notebook
,” I warned, closing the door behind Garrett who seemed awkward standing in my living room.

Jordan tossed a DVD case in my direction. “Sorry guys,” he said with an apologetic smile. Damned if it wasn’t The freaking Notebook. “She’s got me by the balls, what can I say?” he explained as Maysie wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss on his upturned mouth. He turned into her so that his lips were on hers and I was forced to look away. An eyeful of
that
would not help with the crazy nerves unleashing their fury in my stomach.

“I really hope you don’t have anything against trite romantic dramas full of enough clichés to make you want to rip your hair out,” I said to Garrett, who gave me a cute little half smile.

“I don’t care what we watch,” he told me, reaching out to take my hand. He laced his fingers between mine and the feel of his warm palm had me suppressing a shiver. This guy’s flipping
palm
had me turning myself inside out. How could I have been so blind to the way I felt about him?

I guess I wore idiocy well.

“Well that’s good, because Tweedle Dumb and Dumber over here are monopolizing the television with their crap,” I teased, earning me a glare from my best friend. Garrett and Jordan laughed, clearly in agreement about the movie selection.

Jordan and Maysie went into the kitchen to put their dinner on some plates, leaving Garrett and me alone in the living room. “We might as well get the good spots on the couch,” I said, perching in the corner of our beat up sofa.

Garrett pulled cartons of Chinese food out of the bag he carried and handed me my favorite sweet and sour chicken. I grabbed a pair of chop sticks and started eating. Not that I had much of an appetite given the full flight of birds that had taken up residence in my stomach.

I moved the throw pillows to the floor and Garrett sat down beside me. He leaned back, draping his arm across the back of the couch, his fingers lightly running along the sensitive skin of my nape.

“You’re not going to eat anything?” I asked him after forcing down a mouth full of chicken.

Garrett shook his head. “Not really hungry. Maybe later,” he said and I wondered if he was suffering from an attack of the killer stomach birds as well.

Eating as much as I was able, I finally put the mostly full carton of food down on the coffee table.

“How was your visit with Gracie?” he asked me.

“It was good. We’re good,” I said with more than a little relief.

“I’m glad,” he replied, not elaborating and simply leaving it at that basic truth.

“Me too,” I agreed. Our eyes met and I felt like I was suddenly living in one of those annoying romantic dramas Maysie was addicted to. Only this time I didn’t want to turn the channel in protest.

Hell no. This time I was enjoying every glorious, cheesy, and sentimental moment of it.

“Are you going to kiss me or just thinking about it?” I asked him a little breathlessly. The build up was killing me.

Garrett’s lips quirked up in a grin. The grin that lit his face up and made it impossible to look away. “You can’t let a guy do his thing can you? Always needing to take control,” he admonished, his hand gripping the nape of neck in his strong grip and giving me a hard tug towards him.

And then he kissed me. And I mean really kissed me. We’re talking the end of the world is tonight and you only have minutes to live kiss.

It was the sort of kiss that you felt from the tips of your fingers to the bottoms of your feet. There wasn’t an inch of my body that wasn’t affected by the feel of his mouth.

But before we could properly get into the way our lips melded and our tongues searched each other out, we were rudely interrupted.

“It’s about fucking time!” Jordan hollered from the kitchen and I could hear Maysie giggling uncontrollably. They were beaming at us as though we had just won the gold for Olympic tonsil hockey.

Garrett pulled back and rolled his eyes, confirming that here was a guy after my own heart. “We’ll start charging admission if you don’t stop gawking,” he called back, his eyes never leaving mine. He touched his forehead against mine, his breathing as labored as my own.

“Do you think we’d get too much shit if we left? I really need to be alone with you. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever to hold you the way I want to.” His words melted me and I found myself nodding emphatically.

We both got to our feet and headed to the front door.

“Hey, where are you guys going? We’re just getting ready to start the movie. I made kettle corn!” Maysie shook the bowl in her hands and looked a little dejected.

Jordan wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the top of her head. “Let ‘em go, Mays. Besides, the things I want to do to you are for our eyes only,” he said, giving his girlfriend a lavicious grin.

Maysie smacked him but flushed in pleasure. I knew that look on her face too well. Meaning Garrett and I had about ten seconds to get out before clothes started to fly.

“Yeah, let’s go,” I said hurriedly, grabbing Garrett’s hand and pulling him out the door.

After getting into Garrett’s van I asked him, “Where to?”

He gave me a little smile. “I have an idea.”

He didn’t say anything more, instead turning on the stereo, the soft strains of an acoustic set filling the van. Garrett started tapping his hands against the steering wheel and singing along with the song. Once again, I was reminded of what an amazing voice he had.

“Why don’t you sing for your band? You’re pretty great,” I gushed a bit. I was surprised to see this laid back, unconcerned guy blush at the compliment.

“Yeah, I don’t do singing in front of big crowds,” he said in explanation.

“But you sang at that bar for open mic night,” I pestered.

“It’s more Cole’s thing than mine. I’m fine with playing the guitar.” He shot me a hot look. “Or I could sing just for you,” he suggested, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip before turning his attention back to the darkened road.

“Like that song you wrote, the one you sang at the dive bar?” I asked. I had always wanted to ask him about that song Wondering if I was right in who it was about.

“So you figured it out then?” he asked, smirking.

“Figured what out?” I was going to play dumb on this one. I wanted to hear him say it.

“That it was about you,” he admitted with a snort.

“I kind of guessed that. You know with the whole ice of your smile and my touch being toxic. I mean, who else could those flattering lyrics be about?” I teased.

“I wrote that from an angry place, Riley. I promise there has been other since then. Much nicer ones,” he said, sounding shy.

“I’d love to hear them sometime,” I replied with a sultry tone that surprised me. I watched with a keen sense of satisfaction as Garrett’s eyes widened and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed.

I hid my smile by looking out the window. I didn’t recognize the neighborhoods we were driving through. Bakersville wasn’t a large town but I could admit that I hadn’t made it a point to learn all of its nooks and crannies in my four years here.