Perfect for You (17 page)

“It’s stupid, I know. But in my warped mind, it makes some sense. I’m just not explaining it well.” I close my eyes, wishing I’d hidden the necklace under my shirt like I usually do. Then this wouldn’t be happening. Noah and I would be having a good time, and I wouldn’t be thinking about Ash.

Noah bends down in front of me. “Hey,” his voice is soft and sympathetic, “look at me.”

I open my eyes. I owe him this much.

“Do you care about me? Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes.” I don’t hesitate at all. I do have feelings for him. “We got together so soon. That’s all this is. I’ll get past what happened.” I hope.

“Do you want me to back off?” I can tell the words are hard for him to say.

“No. I want you right here. Right where you are.” I run my fingers through his hair, and he sighs.

“Am I ever going to have you the way he did?” He’s not talking about sex or anything like that. He wants to know if I’ll ever love him the way I loved Ash.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think that was possible.” It’s not the answer he’s hoping for, but I can’t lie to him.

“Is there anything I can do to help you get over him sooner? Get you to focus on us?”

“What was that advice you gave me? Avoid what’s messing me up?”

His brow furrows. “You have avoided Ash, haven’t you?”

“In person, yes.” I reach up and unclasp the necklace. I take it off and hand it to Noah. “It’s time to avoid this memory of him, too.”

Noah closes his hand around the necklace and presses his lips to mine. At first, his lips are soft, but then they’re crushing mine. The kiss is laced with desire, desperation, and hope. I want to tell him to ease up, but I’m already asking a lot of him. He’s giving me time to get over Ash and staying with me while I do it. Most guys wouldn’t be able to do that. His hands start to roam over my body, and I feel the cool chain against my stomach. It’s too much. I can’t have Noah and Ash in my mind at the same time. Not while I’m kissing Noah.

I put my palms flat against his chest and gently push. He resists me, so I turn my head to the side. He continues to kiss me, his lips trailing across my face and finding my neck. “Noah,” I manage to say, though I’m beginning to forget what it is I want to say.

“Please, don’t tell me to stop,” he says between kisses.

I can’t do this. Not now. Not here. We haven’t even been together a month. I’m praying someone—anyone—will walk in. I’ll gladly take Nathan’s parents or little brother right now. No one comes. Noah wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up so I’m standing. He never falters from kissing my neck, knowing it’s my weak spot. His hands go for my shirt, lifting it.

“Noah.” I pull away from him this time.

He’s breathing heavily and staring at me. Without warning, he whirls around and punches the wall, his fist making a hole. I jump. “Damn it!” He pulls his hand out, and his knuckles are all cut up and bloody.

“Noah.” I reach for his hand, cradling it in mine. “We need to get this cleaned up.”

“It can wait. You’re making me wait, so I’m going to make you wait on this.”

I cock my head to the side. “This is totally different. And for your information, I’ve only done that with one person and I made him wait almost five months.” Wrong thing to say. Noah knows about Ash and me—that we slept together. But he didn’t know Ash was my first, my only. This isn’t helping things at all.

“So since the mighty Ash had to wait five months, what does that mean for me? Six months? Seven?” His face is red with anger and hurt.

“Is that all you care about?”

“Don’t do that. You know that’s not true.”

Nathan bursts in. “What the hell happened?” His eyes go from the gaping hole in the wall, to Noah’s face, to me. I look away, embarrassed to be in the middle of all this.

“Sorry, man,” Noah says. “I’ll pay to have it fixed. Give us a minute, would you?”

Nathan nods, and I can’t help wondering if he’s figured out why Noah’s so upset that he punched the wall. “Sure. No problem.” He gives me one last look before he leaves.

“This isn’t about sex,” Noah says. “You know that, right?”

“I thought I did, but just now…What was that? Why were you suddenly groping me? You’ve never pushed me like that before.”

“I kind of lost it. When you took the necklace off…” He opens his bloody fist. The necklace is still clutched in his palm. “I thought you were trying to show me you wanted to get over him. That you wanted me. I shouldn’t have assumed it meant you were ready to sleep with me.”

I step toward him, trying not to focus on the necklace. “I’m not ready. I don’t want to regret anything we do, and if that happened now, I would regret it because one or both of us would end up getting hurt. I don’t want that.”

He lets out a deep breath. “I don’t either.” He holds the necklace out to me. “I don’t want you to wear this anymore, but I don’t want you to give it to me either. Put it away somewhere.”

I take the necklace and put it in my pocket. I have no idea where it will end up once I get home, but I can’t think about it now. This moment is about saving what I have with Noah. “Will you please let me get your hand cleaned up?”

“Bathroom’s this way.” He motions down the hall, and I follow him. I run his hand under cool water, rinsing his cuts, which aren’t as bad as I thought they’d be. Then I carefully dab his knuckles with a washcloth from the closet. I find some Band-Aids, but Noah shakes his head. “Guys don’t do Band-Aids. I’m good.”

“I didn’t know Band-Aids weren’t manly.” I’m trying to lighten the mood any way I can.

“Come here.” He picks me up by my waist and sits me on the counter next to the sink.

“What are you doing?” I ask, still feeling a little uncomfortable with what’s happened between us.

“Shh.” He leans forward, his lips inches from mine. “I’m trying to be the guy you found irresistible.”

“You never stopped being him.” Not entirely true. This jealousy over Ash did make him put his fist through the wall and go a little postal, but I’m trying to stroke his ego.

“Then why are you still talking instead of kissing me?” His minty breath tingles my nose.

I drape my arms around his neck and pull him to me so his body is between my bent knees. “This any better?”

“Now you’re just teasing me.”

Crap. Guys and their hormones. “Sorry, should I—” His lips find mine. This time the kiss is much more controlled. He’s calmer. I relax and give in to the moment.

“Hey, you guys in here?” Nathan calls.

Noah groans, and we both turn to look at Nathan.

“Come on, man. That’s my bathroom.”

“Relax, Nathan. We’re not doing anything,” I say, hoping I didn’t lose Noah any points with his friend by admitting how innocent the kiss was.

“Yeah, well your friend is here, so you two should come out and join the rest of the party.”

Grayson’s here. Another mess I need to fix.

Nathan turns to leave, but he hesitates in the doorway. “Oh, and my dad called. He’s majorly pissed about the wall. I told him you’re going to pay for it, but you can expect a nasty call from him in the near future.” He walks away, and I pull Noah’s face back to mine.

“No more punching walls when you’re mad at me, okay?”

“I wasn’t mad at you. I was mad at the situation.” He puts his hands on my waist and helps me down from the counter, not that it’s a long way down or anything. I’m guessing it’s an excuse to touch me. “But, so you know, I’m ready when you are.” I’m not sure if he’s talking about us getting closer emotionally or physically at this point, so I nod, hoping that’s enough for him.

I take his good hand, lacing my fingers through his, and we head back to the party. Grayson is with her doubles partner, Leanne. Something about her bringing a friend along makes me feel uneasy. Is she so mad at me that she wouldn’t come to the party without bringing someone?

“Go.” Noah raises my hand to his mouth and kisses my fingers. “Fix this. You two need to talk.”

I smile at him and walk up to Grayson. “You came.”

“Yeah. I hope it’s okay that I brought Leanne.”

Leanne gives me a little wave.

“Yeah, sure. Of course. You guys want something to drink?”

“You and Noah look pretty tight,” Leanne says, ignoring my question.

“Um, yeah.”

“So things are getting serious? Even though you and Ash were so close before?” She’s grilling me, and I can’t help thinking these are really Grayson’s questions, not Leanne’s.

“Leanne, could you excuse us for a second? I really need to talk to Gray.” I tug on Grayson’s arm, but she pulls free.

“I think this was a mistake,” Grayson says. “Let’s go, Leanne.”

“Wait, Gray. You just got here.”

She stares at me like I’m a total stranger, not her best friend. “Yeah, but it’s obvious we’re done.” She turns and walks out. Leanne shrugs and follows her.

She’s done. Done being my friend. First Ash and now Grayson. The two people I love the most. Gone.

Chapter Twenty-One

I spend the entire weekend with Noah, trying to forget everything that’s wrong in my life and focus on him. It works for the most part. That is, until Monday morning arrives. Noah holds my hand as we walk into school. Now that tennis is almost officially over, I have no desire to be at school at all. As far as I’m concerned, senior year can just end. Mail me my diploma.

“She’ll get over it. Keep trying to talk to her, okay?” Noah turns me around to face him when we get to my locker. I can’t help noticing Ash walking by. Only Liz isn’t with him. She must be absent. Noah follows my gaze and frowns. “Seeing him will get easier, too. Of course that would happen a lot quicker if you’d focus on us.”

Ash is still within seeing distance, but I reach for Noah’s face and kiss him. “Like that?”

“It’s a start.” His dimple surfaces, and I run my finger over it.

“Photography. That’s when I’ll make up with Grayson. She has to have her project finished by now. I’ll make her talk to me, get this all out.”

“Sounds like a plan.” He leans down and kisses my cheek, my neck, and then my ear, sending chills down my body.

“Noah, we’re in a crowded hallway.”

“I know.” He does it again.

“You’re driving me crazy.”

“I know.” He pulls away with a devilish grin. “See you at lunch?”

I pull his waist toward me, not wanting him to go. “What about in between classes?”

“I have to go to a student council thing this morning. I won’t be around between classes. We end at lunch.”

I’m disappointed, and a huge part of me is happy I’m disappointed. Noah is getting to me—in a good way. Maybe I can forget about Ash after all.

“I’ll miss you,” I say, tugging on the belt loop of his jeans.

He kisses me again. “Emma’s going to keep you company for me.” He turns to leave and Emma’s already there. Did they plan that? Is this the Meg babysitting service?

“Hey,” Emma says with a smile.

“Hey.” Noah’s group has welcomed me in, but I’ve never walked to my classes with anyone but Noah. This feels a little weird. I put my stuff in my locker and grab my literature book. “I’m this way.” I point down the hall toward Ash’s locker.

“I know a better way.” Emma loops her arm through mine and pulls me in the opposite direction. She stays a half step ahead and is looking through the crowd of faces. She’s looking for Ash. She doesn’t want me to bump into him. Is this her idea or Noah’s? And are they trying to help me, or are they trying to keep me from being around the one person standing in the way of me getting closer to Noah? Ash is still at his locker. I can just see the top of his head over the crowd.

“You know, I could use a touch up and so could you.” Emma pulls me into the bathroom. “Making out with Noah before class, I see.” She smiles, but it doesn’t distract me from the real purpose of this bathroom break. She doesn’t want me around Ash.

“You can’t protect me from him.”

“From who? Noah? You don’t need protection from him. He—”

“I’m talking about Ash.” I fix my hair in the mirror to have something to do other than look at Emma. “I can handle seeing him. I’m going to have to. You really don’t have to walk me to my classes today. Tell Noah I’m a big girl and I’ll be fine on my own.”

“But—”

“Have a good day, Emma.” I turn and walk out. She’s right on my heels.

“Meg.” She grabs my arm. “He’s worried.” So is she. About Noah.

“Do you like him?”

Her eyes widen. “What? God, no.” She lowers her voice. “He’s my cousin.”

“Your cousin? Really?” I keep my voice low since this doesn’t seem like something she wants anyone to overhear.

“Yeah. I was a nobody until Noah told people to hang out with me. We don’t tell anyone we’re cousins because it would be like I’m popular by relation and nothing else. Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

I nod, but I can’t help wondering what else I don’t know about Noah.

“Don’t blame him. I asked him not to tell people. He really cares about you, Meg. A lot. I’ve never seen him like this. He wants to put Ash behind you guys. You won’t regret being with him. I promise.” Her eyes are pleading with me. “Please, stay away from Ash. Don’t talk to him.”

I thought Emma was trying to keep me from seeing Ash and bringing up hurt feelings. But she’s worried I’ll talk to Ash. I can’t help wondering if Liz really is absent. Could they have broken up? Is that why Emma doesn’t want me talking to Ash? So I don’t find out he’s not with Liz anymore?

“Meg?” Emma reaches for my arm. “You’re not still in love with him, are you?”

If I answer that, she’ll tell Noah, and then I’ll lose him for good. I’m not sure how I feel right now; if Ash being single would even change anything. “I’m with Noah.”

“Okay, good.” Good thing Noah didn’t send Lindsey to watch me because I know she wouldn’t let me off this easily.

I let Emma walk me to class to avoid any more uncomfortable conversations. She smiles at me and says she’ll meet me here after class. This is going to get annoying really fast. I step inside and watch Emma walk away. Liz comes down the hall, her eyes red and puffy. I know that look. I’ve had that look. Ash broke up with her. My stomach clenches. I don’t really feel sorry for Liz. I feel…I’m not sure. I’m just glad Ash isn’t at his locker, which is visible from my class. If he was, I might run over to him, looking for answers.