Perfect for You (11 page)

Noah smiles, knowing he’s distracted me.

“Is that okay or will your parents be in bed by then?” Ash asks.

Is what okay? I nudge Noah with my foot, knocking him off balance. He topples backward into the little rose bushes my mom has lining the driveway. “Are you all right?” I blurt out. My hand immediately covers my mouth.

“Who are you talking to?” Ash asks.

Shit! “Oh, um, my neighbor. He fell.”

“You’re outside? I thought you just got out of the shower.”

Damn it! I really suck at lying. “I’m dressed. Don’t worry.”

Noah gets up and picks a few thorns out of his arm. Ouch, that has to hurt. “Um, Ash, I need to help him. Call me when the party’s over?”

“So, ten is okay?”

“To come by?” I ask. Is that what he was talking about before?

“Yeah. Will your parents mind?”

“No. They’re out. They’ll probably be home around eleven.”

“Great. See you then. Love you, Meg.”

“Okay. Bye.” I hang up and stare at Noah’s arm, dripping with blood thanks to me. I hurt him. And I didn’t say I love you to Ash. I’m really making a mess of everything.

I reach for Noah’s good arm. “Come on. I have some antibacterial ointment you can put on that.”

“So this is what I have to do to get invited in? Let you hurt me? Had I known, I would’ve done it sooner.” He’s smirking so I know his arm can’t be hurting that much.

“Yeah, well if you weren’t trying to—what were you trying to do?”

“I was only looking at you. You’re the one who kicked me.”

“Because you looked way too happy about messing up my conversation with Ash.” He can play dumb all he wants. He knows he’s partially to blame for this. I wouldn’t have kicked him if he wasn’t bending down and staring at me so intently. Making me…get lost in his eyes.

“So this is my own fault?”

“Exactly.” I bring him to the downstairs bathroom. No way am I taking him anywhere near my room. I get the ointment from the closet and hand it to him. “Here.”

“You’re kidding, right?” He turns his shoulder so I can see the gashes on the back of his arm. “I can’t see the cuts. You’re going to have to help me.”

Help him? As in rub ointment on his toned triceps?

“Do you have a washcloth to wash the blood off first?” He looks around for one.

I go back to the closet and choose the darkest one I can find. I don’t want to have to explain the blood to Mom later. I wet the washcloth and dab it on the cuts.

Noah jumps. “Whoa, that’s cold.”

“Sorry.” I’m afraid to touch him too much, which is making this really hard to do.

“You can touch me. I promise I won’t bite.” He turns and gives me a sly—totally sexy—smile. “Besides, I don’t want to get you mad. I’ve seen what you’re capable of.”

“Very funny.” I place a shaky hand on his left shoulder to steady myself and him while I wash out the cuts on his right arm. “I’m sorry I knocked you over.”

“I deserved it.” Does he really mean that? Is he aware of what he’s been doing to me?

“I think the bleeding’s stopped. Time for the ointment.” I grab the Q-tips and start applying the cream.

Noah laughs. “Afraid I have a disease or something?”

“They’re open wounds. I don’t want to get germs in them.”

He nods. “So, you’re telling me you’re dirty.” The flirtation in his voice nearly knocks me over.

I glare at him, but not really meaning the harsh look at all. “You could do this yourself, you know.”

He clamps his lips together, signaling he’s finished making comments. I finish with the ointment and return it to the closet. We stand there staring at each other, not knowing what to do. Noah’s in my house. I had to invite him in after I hurt him, but now what?

“Listen, about that movie…”

“You don’t want to go. I get it.” He twists his arm to get a better look at the cuts, and I can’t help wondering if it’s only to avoid my eyes. “What time is Ash coming by?”

“Ten.”

Noah checks his watch and smiles. “Then I have you all to myself for an hour and a half.”

“Noah.” How do I make this clear to him? “You can’t stay. I told you, I don’t feel right about this.”

“Don’t you think it’s odd that you and Ash have to ask each other not to hang out with people who like you? I mean, Ash isn’t supposed to hang out with Liz, and you’re not supposed to hang out with me. Except Ash is with Liz tonight, isn’t he?”

“Don’t be that way.” I cross my arms, trying to protect myself from the truth in his words. “You’re not helping your cause.”

His mouth curves into a smile. “Thanks for the tip. Kind of makes me think you’re rooting for me.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” He won’t give up. I’m not sure if I should be annoyed by his persistence or completely flattered that he’s going through so much trouble for me.

He puts his hands up. “I apologize.”

“Great. I guess we’re done here. Have fun at your movie, and I’ll see you in school on Monday.”

“Not going to the game tomorrow?”

Noah’s going to the football game? “You can’t be serious. You’ve never gone to a game.”

“Been keeping tabs on me?” His dimple is back.

If Noah shows up at the game, it could ruin Ash’s concentration. No, it
will
ruin Ash’s concentration. Ash has this uncanny way of finding me in a crowd of people. And what if he finds me with Noah?

“Please, don’t go.”

“Okay, I won’t.” He takes my hands in his. “I’ll stay as long as you’d like.” His thumbs tickle my palms.

“I mean tomorrow.”

“Well, I don’t know if I can spend the night, but…”

I yank my hands free and smack his good shoulder. “Stop it. Seriously, you can’t go to the game. Please. I’m asking you as a friend.”

“Are we friends?”

I don’t know how to answer that. I’m not sure what we are. I want to be his friend, but can I be? “What do
you
think we are?” Let him answer the tough questions for once.

“What do I think we are or what do I want us to be?” He reaches for my hand, brushing his index finger lightly against it.

“Noah, I can’t do this.” I step around him and walk out of the bathroom. I don’t want to feel trapped by him. Not in my own house.

“Hey.” He reaches for my shoulder and winces in pain. I stop, unable to keep from feeling bad that he’s hurt because of me. He stares at me, looking more than physically hurt. “I’m sorry. I’m used to girls giving in to me. Not always at first, but most seem to like—”

“The cocky attitude?”

He shrugs his good shoulder. “I didn’t say I understood it. It just works.” He cocks his head to the side, and his confidence is replaced with genuine emotion. “But you’re different. I think that’s why I like you so much.”

I shake my head, not wanting to hear this. “Don’t say things like that. You don’t even know me. And I have a boyfriend.”

“I know. I really am sorry. I push the boundaries with you. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help myself when I’m around you. It’s not easy watching you be with him. Do you have any idea how much I want to grab you and kiss you? Even right now?”

I step back, but not far.

“I won’t though. I know I’ll lose you if I do.”

Good. At least he’s staying in control of his emotions.

“Would be a hell of a kiss though. I’m sure of it.” I’m blown away by the way he’s looking at me. There’s a longing in his eyes that matches the sadness in his voice. He’s always so sure of himself. But, that’s not who he really is. He’s vulnerable too. And as much as he does push the boundaries, I trust him. I know he won’t kiss me. He won’t touch me if I don’t want him to. Maybe that scares me more than anything else. Because as much as I don’t want to hurt Ash, I
do
want Noah to kiss me. When he’s close, my lips long for his. I crave his touch, no matter how small.

I’m losing it. I can’t let myself do something I’ll regret. Something that would hurt the guy I love. Maybe Noah and I would be good together. I don’t know. I do know Ash and I are great together. I’m happy with him. I can’t jeopardize that. “You have to go.”

Noah nods. “Okay.”

I step to the side so he can walk past me and to the front door. I don’t know what to say.

“Is your elbow okay? From hitting it on my car?”

I forgot all about it. “Yeah. It’s fine.” I can still feel the bruise, but it’s insignificant compared to everything else that’s happened.

“Good. Thanks for the ointment.” He gives me a weak smile before walking through the door.

I can’t leave it like this. He’s hurt, in more ways than one. I watch him close the passenger side door, which we apparently left open when we came inside the house. Noah’s eyes find mine as he walks around the car and opens the driver side door. There’s only one thing I can think to say to him right now. “Nice car.”

He pauses in the driveway and nods. “Thanks.” I know he’s disappointed, but he’ll take the compliment—probably hoping it will lead to more in the future. He’s always hoping for the best. Hoping something small will lead to something bigger.

I close the front door, blocking him from view before I do something stupid like jump in the car with him.

Chapter Fourteen

Ash shows up at a quarter to ten. I’m not really surprised he left the party early. He’s always doing stuff like this for me, and it makes my stomach churn with guilt. I lean out my window, watching him get out of his car. More than anything I want to be happy with him and him alone. If I could make my feelings for Noah disappear, I would.

“Hey, gorgeous.” Ash smiles up at me. “Going to let me in or do I have to yell to you all night?”

“Door’s open. Come on up.” He smiles, realizing I’m inviting him to my bedroom, not the living room or den where we usually hang out. I think he sets a record with how quickly he’s in my room with his arms wrapped around me.

“I missed you.” His voice is breathy in my ear.

“I missed you, too.” I kiss his cheek first before finding his lips. His kiss is hungry, and I wonder if it’s because of our earlier conversation or if something happened at the party. My curiosity gets the better of me and I pull away, leaning my head back so I can look him in the eyes. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just missed you.”

“That didn’t seem like the typical ‘I missed you’ kiss. What’s really going on?” I take his hand and pull him over to the bed, sitting cross-legged and waiting for him to tell me the real reason he’s acting like this.

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

Uh oh. “Go ahead.” I prepare myself for the worst. Liz threw herself at him. That has to be it.

“Well, everything was fine at first. I was hanging with Jackson like usual. But then Liz came over.”

My breath catches in my throat, and I squeeze my hands into fists. “What did she do?”

He sighs. “I wasn’t expecting it, and I pushed her away. You need to know that.”

“Did she kiss you?” My voice is high-pitched and screechy.

“No.” Ash puts his hands up, waving them frantically in front of me. “She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me.”

My hands clench the bedspread. I’m going to kill her.

“I immediately took her arms off me and told her I’m with you. She apologized, and I left. I told Jackson I needed to meet you. He seemed upset by the whole thing. I think maybe he has a thing for Liz. I don’t know. It was all a little confusing.”

I knew something like this was going to happen. I knew Liz liked Ash. I warned him. But I can’t say all that. What Noah and I are doing is so much worse than Liz touching Ash like that. God, why can’t I be strong like Ash and just push Noah away? I can’t allow myself to think about Noah while I’m with Ash, but the alternative is thinking about Liz and that makes me want to scream. If I blow up at Ash, it will ruin everything. I have to try to be calm, no matter how much my insides are threatening to explode.

He reaches for my hands, gently taking them in his. “Are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at her.” I squeeze his hands. “I knew she’d do something like this.”

“I don’t think she’ll try it again.”

I’m not so convinced. I know her type. “Let’s not talk about it, okay? I want to enjoy the night with you.”

For a moment he seems stunned that I’m dropping the issue so quickly, but then he looks around the room. “Your parents won’t be home until eleven?”

“Yup. That’s what they told me.”

“You’re sure?”

I eye him, knowing exactly what he’s thinking. My pulse quickens. Am I ready for this? I felt ready earlier, but then Noah came over. Then again, maybe being with Ash would finally get Noah out of my head. That’s what I need to do. I need to get over Noah and remember what a great guy I already have. I reach forward, grabbing Ash’s shirt. Playfully tugging him toward me, I lie back on the bed. He has that “holy crap” look on his face. I know the feeling. I press my lips to his, hoping my nerves will fade away with the familiarity of the kiss.

After a few moments, Ash pulls back and stares into my eyes. “Are you sure?” Ash isn’t the kind of guy who would take advantage of me. He loves me. I can’t imagine being with anyone else right now.

“Positive.” I smile, letting him know I’m really okay with this. I want this.

His lips find my neck, and I moan in pleasure.

***

I wake up the next morning with a huge smile on my face. I hug my sheets to me, the same sheets Ash was tangled up in last night. I can still smell him. As soon as he left, I showered and got into bed. I couldn’t face my parents, afraid they’d somehow know just by looking at me. That’s one conversation I want to avoid…forever.

According to my alarm clock, I have half an hour to get ready and get to the game. I’m not going to be late. Ash is counting on me to be there to support him. I toss the sheets off me and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. I feel different.

My cell rings, and I grab it from the nightstand. Ash. “Good morning, sexy,” I say, my voice deep from sleep.

“Now that I can get used to.”

“Good.” My heart flutters, exactly like it did when we first started dating.