Authors: Carly Phillips
“What?!” Victoria realized she’d been had and began to struggle, hissing and cursing, but Cole held on.
Erin sought her bag, wanting her cell phone. Just as she caught sight of where it had flown in the commotion, the sound of police sirens echoed around them.
“Thank God.” Knowing it was finally over, Erin’s knees buckled and she let herself sink to the ground.
• • •
Too many things happened at once, preventing Cole
from getting to Erin. Hospital personnel came running, and Erin was immediately taken into the emergency room.
Cara arrived and subdued Victoria, who continued to shriek, even as Cara read the hysterical woman her rights. Nicole’s arrival didn’t help matters, since Victoria blamed her sister for coming to Serendipity and ruining her chances with Cole. Not rational, but then, this was Victoria. Finally, the hospital staff had to step in and sedate her, which meant booking would have to wait, but at least she was cuffed to her bed and had an officer assigned to watch over her.
Victoria was no longer a threat to Erin. But were Erin and the baby still in danger?
Cole started to head back to the hospital, only to have Cara stop him. “I need your statement,” she called out.
“I need to check on Erin.”
“Sam and Mike are with her by now.” Cara gentled her voice. “But if you want me to be able to hold Victoria and make the charges stick, you need to talk to me now.”
Cole stared at the woman in uniform, understanding she was doing her job, but not liking her timing. “Fine.”
“Tell me what happened here today. You’re the only witness.”
He hated reliving the moment he’d seen the sedan aiming for Erin, but he managed to give Cara a play-by-play, including placing Victoria behind the wheel. “She aimed directly for Erin and deliberately hit the parked cars in an attempt to hurt her in some way. She followed her path directly.”
Cara finished taking notes and looked at him. “You’ll have to come by the station and sign the statement, but that’s it for now. Thanks.”
He nodded.
“How’s your father?” she asked.
“In recovery,” he bit out. Though he knew she meant well, Cole’s mind was in one place only.
She nodded. “Go,” she said, tipping her head toward the building.
A few minutes later, Cole talked his way past the front desk and navigated the same cubicle area as the last time Erin was here. He had to restrain himself from ripping the curtains open one by one to see where she was.
“Cole.”
He turned at the sound of his name. “Sam. How is she?”
Erin’s brother walked up to him. “So far so good. They want to keep her for observation, but the baby’s heartbeat is strong.”
If Cole were near a wall, he’d have collapsed against it in relief. “And Erin?”
“She’s bruised in some places from where she hit the ground, but she’s fine.” Sam slapped him on the shoulder. “You’ve been here for too long. Why don’t you go home and get some rest? I’ll call you if anything changes.”
Cole opened his mouth, then closed it again. “Excuse me? You expect me to leave? Without seeing her?”
Sam met his gaze. “She needs rest.”
“Who’s with her?” Because Cole knew her brother wouldn’t have left her alone.
“Mike’s in there.”
Cole eyed the other man warily. “And you’re out here . . . why? To make sure I don’t bother her?”
“Look, I get that you’re worried. We all are. But I was just going to call my parents and let them know she’s okay.”
Cole clenched his hands into tight fists. “So they can come see her, no doubt. Yet you’re telling me to leave, which means—”
Sam blew out a deep breath. “Erin doesn’t want to see you right now, man.”
What the hell? “Why not? Is she blaming me for this all of a sudden?” Cole ran a hand through his hair, crazy at the thought of not being able to see for himself that she was okay.
He wanted to hear the
whoosh, whoosh
on the monitor and know the baby was fine.
Sam looked more uncomfortable than Cole had ever seen him. Given that he was the easier-going brother, Cole’s nerves were strung even tighter.
“Just say it.”
Sam eyed him with pity. “Look, Erin said now that Victoria isn’t a threat, you don’t need to watch over her.”
Fuck.
“She’s scared, she’s upset, and she’s been under more stress than she can handle. Just give her some time to calm down and see things more clearly,” her brother said, steering Cole toward the door with a hand on his back.
Cole let him, only because he knew better than to cause a scene and upset Erin, never mind that his entire body had gone into shock. A cold sweat broke out on his forehead at the realization that Erin was ending things.
Doing exactly what he’d told her needed to happen. He’d said himself, when the threat to her was over, he’d be gone. Back to undercover work. Out of Serendipity and out of her life—except for the minute details of raising a child, something they’d never gotten around to hammering out.
Erin had been smart. First she’d tried to make him see they could have a real relationship, but he’d withdrawn or rebuffed her every time. From the moment she realized he couldn’t give her what she wanted, she’d put her armor on. Which was why she’d pulled away the minute she knew his father was out of the woods.
She’d known this day was around the corner, and she was protecting herself. He didn’t like it, hated it in fact, but he respected her decision because her instincts were right.
It was time for him to wrap things up here and return to his world. His job. The job he loved, Cole was forced to remind himself, even as his stomach clenched and rolled in denial.
“Cole?”
He realized Sam was trying to talk to him. “Yeah.”
“You’re good?”
He forced a nod. “I’m fine. Erin’s right. Victoria’s under guard. When she’s stable she’ll be booked. Your sister’s safe. She doesn’t need me anymore.”
• • •
Erin lay in the hospital bed, hooked up to the fetal
monitor, an IV in her arm . . . just in case. She hadn’t asked in case of what. She didn’t want to know.
All her thoughts and whatever energy she had were going toward positive thoughts, calming breaths, and keeping this baby inside her. That was the main reason she’d sent her brother out to the hall, to make sure he waylaid Cole before he was able to get through the red tape and come check on her. The other reason she’d sent Sam to intercept Cole was that she was a coward. She didn’t want to face him and burst into tears. She needed time to get herself together, and to do that, she needed the baby to be okay. Then she’d put the pieces of her broken heart back together.
“Knock, knock!”
Erin recognized the voice. “Come in, Macy!”
The minute her best friend lowered herself next to Erin on the bed, she let the tears she’d been holding back run free. Macy knew exactly what Erin needed and sat while she cried, not questioning her, not asking which part of her completely screwed-up life she was crying over, just hugging her and running a hand over her hair until her tear ducts ran dry.
“Thank you.” Erin wiped her eyes on a too-rough hospital tissue.
“Any time. Where is everyone?”
Erin sniffed. “Mike got an emergency call and Sam’s out doing me a favor.”
Macy nodded. “Okay, so what can I do for you?”
God, she loved her friend. “Can you head over to Nick’s place where I was staying and pack up all my things? You have the spare key to my condo, right?”
Macy nodded.
“Just drop everything off there.”
“Will do. Anything else?”
“Not at the moment.”
Macy eyed her with concern. “When are they letting you out of here?”
Erin shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. As soon as it’s safe for the baby, and I’m not pushing it.” She protectively covered her stomach with her hands.
“Gotcha. I’ll bring some of Aunt Lulu’s cake for you too.”
“You’re the best.”
Macy grinned. “I know.” She rose to her feet. “Let me get started on that errand. If you aren’t out of here today, I’ll be back to see you tonight.”
“Thank you.” She paused. “Macy?”
Her friend tipped her head to the side, her long black hair falling over one shoulder. “What is it?”
“I haven’t told anyone, but I’ve been thinking . . . about my current job and the baby and changes I need to make.” A planner by nature, Erin’s subconscious had been putting together lists and ideas even before they’d fully formed in her mind.
“I’m here for you. I’ll give advice or just shut up and listen. Whatever you need.”
Erin managed a smile. “I know.”
“Can I ask . . . what about Cole?”
She shook her head. “Not yet. I can’t talk about him. I can’t see him, knowing it’s over . . . but there are some practical things I need to take care of before he leaves.”
Macy eased closer to the bed again. “Like what?”
Erin glanced down at the white, waffle-textured blanket. “I need to see a lawyer . . . to discuss how to handle visitation, child support—” She swallowed a sob, determined to remain strong.
“Isn’t it too fast to think about all this? I mean, you’ve been through a huge trauma. Your stalker has just been arrested. You need time—”
“I don’t have time,” Erin cut her off. “You said it yourself. Victoria’s not a threat anymore. I’m safe. That means Cole can leave town anytime and go back undercover. I need to make sure these things are ironed out quickly, before he goes.”
Macy stepped close and touched her hand. “Okay. Whatever you need, we’ll do. And afterward, I can stay over. We can eat cake and ice cream, and watch
South Park: The Movie
and laugh over the dirty parts.” Macy waggled her eyebrows, causing Erin to chuckle. “Anything for you—as long as I’m that baby’s godmother.”
Erin rolled her eyes. “As if there’d be anyone else.”
“Yay, me!” Macy squealed, clapping her hands in joy, her laughter ringing out in the small cubicle.
“You’re incorrigible,” Erin said with a grin.
“There it is,” Macy said. “I want to see that beautiful smile on your face more often.”
Erin didn’t reply. With the thoughts running through her mind and the plans she had to make, smiling was the last thing she’d feel like doing for a good, long while.
Cole checked in with the hospital and learned his
father was sleeping soundly and his vitals were good, but that he couldn’t visit until the morning. He drove back to Nick’s borrowed home, in no mood to pack up his shit or to do more than kick back and forget his problems for a little while. Tomorrow he’d move himself out of this house and drop Erin’s clothes off at her condo at some point during the day.
In the meantime, since Erin didn’t want to see him, Cole was on his own for the first time in weeks. He poured himself a bourbon and settled into an oversized chair. Alone with only his thoughts for company, the quiet mocked him, though he’d always appreciated silence before.
He’d barely touched the glass to his lips when the doorbell rang. “What now?” he muttered, heading to see who was interrupting his surprisingly unwelcome peace and solitude.
He opened the door, took one look at Macy Donovan, and groaned.
“Hello to you too,” she said brightly, pushing past him and walking inside.
“Make yourself at home,” he muttered.
“No thanks. I’m just here to get Erin’s things.”
On that pronouncement, Cole slammed the door shut, and Macy jumped at the sound.
“How is she?” Cole asked Erin’s best friend.
Macy eyed him warily. “Physically? She’s fine. A little bruised but okay.”
“And the baby?” He allowed himself a pass of bourbon before she answered.
“Also okay. They’re both hanging in there,” she assured him. “How are you?” she asked, surprising him.
He let out a harsh laugh.
“What was that for?” Macy narrowed her gaze.
“You’re concerned about me?” He treated himself to another swallow of liquid fire.
Macy stepped forward and grabbed the drink, snatching it before he could react and slamming the glass on the nearest table. “My best friend loves you, you moron. Of course I’m concerned.”
Cole choked and needed a minute to recover before facing her. “Erin said that?”
“Men are so dense,” Macy muttered. “She didn’t have to say it. It’s obvious. And you have to know it too. Why else would you duck and run?”
He straightened his shoulders, offended by the comment. “I did no such thing! I’ve been there for her ever since I found out she was pregnant, not to mention in danger.”
“In every way but the one that really matters to her!” Macy poked him in the chest hard.
“Ouch, dammit.”
“Baby.” Macy flounced over to the couch and settled in, glaring up at him from blue eyes that would drive some other man insane with need, and Cole pitied the unknown sucker.
He shook his head. “Macy, what the hell can I do? My job is dangerous, starting with the people I meet and inadvertently bring home with me, like Victoria. She ended up being a direct threat to Erin and the baby. Not to mention I don’t know from one minute to the next if I’ll get out alive. How can I subject Erin to that kind of existence?”
She stared at him with an expression of disbelief. “Are you for real? Do you think that just because you decide to spare her the joy of telling her you love her and want to share your life with her she’ll suffer any less when you go undercover?” Macy raised her voice as she spoke. “She loves you! Whether you tell her you return those feelings or not, she’s going to experience everything you’re trying to spare her from.” Her gaze bore into his, never once letting him turn away or blink.
“Shit,” Cole said at last, staring at the pint-sized dynamo who’d put him in his place.
“Yeah, I make sense,” Macy gloated, obviously pleased with herself.
Cole wasn’t taking the bait; his mind was on Macy’s words. She’d announced that he loved Erin and he hadn’t gone into a state of panic, nor did he want to run for the hills—or back to Manhattan, as the case may be. He also hadn’t argued the point.
How could he when Macy was right?
When Sam announced that Erin hadn’t wanted to see him, he’d sucker punched Cole and ripped out his heart. Cole just hadn’t put together why until Macy threw the reality in his face.
Men
were
dense. Cole in particular.
His head spun, and not from the little bit of alcohol he’d consumed.
Suddenly Macy hopped up from the couch. “I see I made you think, so my job here is done. I need to get my best friend’s stuff.”
Cole gestured to the front of the house. “Erin’s things are upstairs in the master bedroom at the end of the hall, but I can bring them to her tomorrow.”
Macy shook her head. “She asked me to get them, and she doesn’t need the stress of things not going as she expects—which reminds me. She’s got plans.”
Cole narrowed his gaze. “What kind of plans?”
“I don’t know specifically, and if I did, I couldn’t tell you. But I will say you have a few days to get your head on straight before Erin’s given the okay by her doctors to go about business as usual.” Macy paused, undoubtedly for emphasis. “In other words, once she puts some balls in motion, you’re going to have a tougher time getting through to her . . . emotionally or otherwise.”
Cole swallowed hard. “Explain.”
The other woman shrugged. “She’s talking about seeing lawyers, about formalizing things between you two. I can’t say more than that.”
She didn’t have to.
Cole understood now, on a gut level, that his legal eagle was already strategizing to keep him not only at the emotional distance she’d already established, but at a legal one as well. She undoubtedly thought to relegate his role in her life to that of the baby daddy who’d make payments and see his kid on a court-dictated schedule.
Nausea swirled through him as he realized that was exactly what he’d thought he wanted. What he’d basically told her was exactly what she’d get from him. Enough money to provide for her and the baby while he went back to his undercover life.
A cold existence with no friends, no family, no ties or commitments. An existence he’d liked because it was all he knew and it had suited him. Until the night Erin danced her way into his arms and his bed. Until she invaded his life and pulled him kicking and screaming into hers, opening his mind and his heart to possibilities he thought he’d slammed the door shut on forever.
Time and again, he’d thrown those possibilities and Erin’s unspoken love back in her face.
Cole ran a hand over his burning eyes. “Macy?” He looked for her but she’d disappeared, having obviously headed upstairs to pack up Erin’s things while he’d been lost in thought.
A few days,
she’d said. Not a lot of time to fix the situation and change a lifetime. But if he wanted Erin, and heaven knew he did, Cole had to try.
• • •
Hospital rules gave Cole fifteen minutes with Jed for
this first post-surgery visit. Since he’d met with the doctor this morning, Cole thought he was prepared, but the sight of his father hooked up to so many tubes—breathing tube, stomach tube, IV, chest tube, and God knew what else—made Cole’s breath catch in his throat. He reached out only to realize Erin wasn’t there to steady him, and that, more than anything, cemented the decisions he’d made and the things he needed to do once this visit ended. All with no guarantees that he’d get what he wanted in the end.
Cole pulled up a chair to the edge of his father’s bed, close to his head. Jed lay sleeping and Cole didn’t wake him. He needed rest, and it was enough to know he was breathing, his heart was pumping, and there was a chance for them to try to come to terms with each other. For the sake of his child, if not for himself. Cole had long since stopped expecting anything from Jed, and that hadn’t changed.
“Hey, Dad.” Since he had his father’s ear if not his attention, Cole decided to talk to the man, regardless of whether or not he could hear. “Glad you came through the surgery. You look like hell, but you’re strong enough to get through this.”
Cole spoke low, wanting only to say what was on his mind, what had been in his head and his heart for all these years. “I know I was a pain in the ass growing up. I’m betting my own kid will give me a run for my money.” Cole managed a smile at the thought, along with a solid kick of fear.
He drew a deep breath. “But I’m not sure why we could never find common ground. Even as adults.” He hesitated before saying the next thing, but decided he had to get it out before the feelings poisoned him even more. “I’m not sure why you hate me so much or why what I do now is such a disappointment.” Cole shook his head, the pain of all the years nearly choking him.
“I won’t do that to my kid. At least I’ll be aware of trying to do better.” In reality, Cole had no idea how to handle a kid and wished the baby would come with an instruction manual. At least he had Erin to guide him. No matter the end result between them personally, he had faith they’d do their best to co-parent.
Cole wanted so much more than some formal arrangement, but after pushing her away for so long and hurting her in ways he was sure even he didn’t know about, he didn’t know what she wanted from him anymore. She wasn’t answering her phone, returning his calls, or replying to his texts to see how she was doing. Not a good sign.
He was forging ahead with his plan anyway, because no matter what Erin ultimately decided, leaving his job and starting a life here in Serendipity was the right thing to do, for Cole and for the child he wanted a relationship with.
“I’m going to try to do better than you or I’ve managed so far,” he said to the man lying in the hospital bed.
To Cole’s surprise, Jed opened his eyes, meeting Cole’s gaze. He swallowed hard, wondering how much his father had heard. Wondering if anything he’d said could break through the hard shell that surrounded Jed Sanders.
The same shell that Cole had protected himself with . . . until he fell in love with Erin and learned how much she—and life—had to offer.
• • •
On doctor’s orders, Erin was on bed rest for a week.
If she had no more cramping, she could then start to move around slowly and work her way back to a normal routine. But Erin had already decided her normal had to change, and she had no desire to wait to start making modifications in her life. If she couldn’t go to the people she wanted to see, she’d just have to ask them to come to her.
Erin held court from the couch in her family room. Her parents, brothers, and friends came by, Macy with a different slice of Aunt Lulu’s cake each day. Although Cole had texted her and she saw missed calls and voice messages on her cell, she wasn’t ready to talk to him. Not until she had finished getting herself and her life together. Then, when she could act like lawyer-Erin, not Erin-in-love, she’d face him and know she could let him go without falling apart after he left.
To that end, her newest visitor sat on the chair across from the couch that probably had a permanent indentation from Erin’s behind plastered into it. “Hi, Kelly. I really appreciate you coming by.”
Kelly Barron, Nash’s wife, a pretty woman with brown hair with golden streaks, treated Erin to a warm smile. “My pleasure, believe me. It’s an excuse to leave Nash home alone with the twins,” she said, an almost-evil twinkle in her eye.
Erin laughed. “How old are they now?”
“The boys are thirteen months. I swear they’re twin terrors.” But the love in her voice and her eyes was evident.
“How do you find working with babies at home?” Kelly was a paralegal for Richard Kane, an outstanding lawyer in Serendipity.
In an odd twist of fate, when Kelly was new in town, she had met and fallen for Nash, not knowing he had once been married to Annie Kane, her new boss’s daughter. She’d also befriended Annie, not knowing the connection to Nash. Apparently, both exes had moved on, and with Annie married to Joe now, there were no hard feelings. And to help Richard out, Nash’s firm had recently merged with his. Sort of incestuous, yet not, and everyone got along.
“Hard,” Kelly said bluntly.
Erin wouldn’t have expected anything less than the hard truth. “I cut way back on my hours, and we had to hire help at home for when I’m working. And my sister, Tess, comes by a lot, especially now that she’s driving, which I love and which helps a lot. Honestly, the only reason I’m still working is for my sanity.” She brushed her long bangs out of her eyes. “I need those few hours to feel like a functioning, competent adult. Which I suspect you’ll understand soon enough.” Kelly laughed.
Erin blew out a long breath. “So I’m guessing being an assistant district attorney with night court and on-call hours while also being a single mom could get difficult.” She bit down on her lower lip in thought.
“Well, you’d need help at odd hours, but I’m sure it’s doable. Anything is if you want it badly enough.”
And there was the question. The more time she had with this baby growing inside her, the more chances she had to think about being a mom, and what kind of job would best mesh with that and be right for her baby. “I’ll have to figure out what I want.”
Kelly leaned forward in her seat. “I’m not trying to poach on Evan’s territory,” she said of the district attorney. “Well, maybe I am. But with the recent merger of the two firms, we had some people leave, and we’re always looking for solid lawyers who can bring business to the firm.”
Erin’s eyes opened wide at that. “Really?”
Kelly nodded. “I can tell you that we’re very flexible with new moms, because I was one, and I made sure to have my husband rewrite any policies I didn’t like.” She grinned, letting Erin know she definitely had sway over the man.
She envied Kelly what she had—a husband she loved, who loved her back, and children they were raising together under one roof. She swallowed hard.
“So . . . want to meet with Nash and talk to him about coming on board? For selfish reasons, I’d love to have you around. Another mom to talk to, a friend I could get closer to . . . and you’d have a whole new challenge, interesting cases, variety. No night hours in the office unless you wanted them. We’re big on videoconferencing and working from home—”
“Yes!” Erin didn’t have to think twice. Not only had Kelly done a good selling job but Erin already knew she had to leave the district attorney’s office. She felt like she’d taken advantage of her colleagues there, she hadn’t pulled her weight lately, and they needed someone with more time than she’d be able to devote from here on in. She just hadn’t figured out what she wanted to do next, and Kelly’s suggestion was perfect.