Pathway to Tomorrow (23 page)

“Your turn now,” he said, handing the spatula to Izzie. Then he sat down opposite Jodie and watched as she began to eat. She forced herself to look at him.

“Luke was eating his breakfast.”

“Mmm. He always does at eight o’clock.”

“I told him you were making pancakes.”

“And he ignored you….”

He stopped mid-sentence as Luke walked through the door. Without looking at any of them he made a beeline for the walk-in larder and reached for the maple syrup on the top shelf. He wasn’t quite tall enough but when he looked round expectantly Jodie just pushed a chair in his direction.

“Stand on that and you’ll be able to get it.”

He stared at her for a moment because he was used to other people doing everything for him but then he dragged the chair into the larder and clambered up. He wobbled precariously against the shelving for a moment before he grabbed the bottle of syrup. She studiously ignored him, her nervousness about his lack of balance kept firmly in check.

Marcus watched, torn between fear and irritation. Luke had fallen off too many things over the years for him to see him climbing onto a chair with much confidence, and he unconsciously took several steps forward, ready to catch him if he tumbled. His irritation wasn’t about Luke though. It was about Jodie. It didn’t matter how much he tried, nothing he did with Luke seemed to suit her. She always found him wanting. She didn’t seem to understand that he couldn’t relax around Luke. Instead, having his son around as much as possible seemed to be all she wanted.

He looked across to where she still sat at the kitchen counter. She was ignoring him in the same way Luke ignored him. Bitterness washed over him as he remembered how he’d listened to her sobbing her heart out over the phone the previous evening, and how he’d been up at the crack of dawn to be sure of catching her on her early morning ride. Then, as quickly, he was ashamed. All she was doing was trying to help him. What sort of father was he to be jealous of his own son? With an effort he smiled as Luke placed the bottle of syrup in the middle of the kitchen counter.

“Well done. Now I’m going to make you a pancake.”

* * *

“It’s time I wasn’t here. People will be waiting for me.”  Jodie picked up her riding hat and crop and made for the door but as she passed Marcus he reached out a long arm and encircled her waist.

“Hey, what about a thank you kiss?”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “Is this what’s going to happen every time you cook something for me?”

He grinned at her, suddenly a lot more lighthearted because, despite his earlier irritation, breakfast had been surprisingly good. He watched Luke and Izzie giggling over her attempt to drizzle the remains of the maple syrup into a face shape on her final pancake and wondered if this was what family life would be like if he could ever persuade Jodie to marry him.

“I might ask for a bigger reward sometimes,” he whispered as he lowered his mouth.

She pulled away so swiftly that his lips only grazed hers. “If you want a reward then spend the day with Luke instead of hiding in your studio. He needs you Marcus whether you like it or not, and if you actually spent some time with him you might be surprised at how much fun he can be.”

His brows knitted together in a frown as she blew his good humor away. It was back to Luke again! He could count on the fingers of one hand how often they had been alone together since he’d move
d into the village and even then family or work responsibilities had intruded. He remembered their argument in the studio the previous day, and he remembered, too, how he’d sneaked out of Jodie’s cottage to protect her reputation when all he’d wanted was to tell the world how he felt about her.

As if she could read his mind, her expression softened. Standing on tiptoe she pressed her lips to his. “Try it,” she said, and then the kitchen door slammed shut behind her.

Chapter Twenty-seven

Jodie was too busy to give Marcus a thought for the rest of the morning. It was only when she stopped sufficiently long to grab a sandwich for lunch that she discovered the messages he’d left on her cell phone. There were three of them and they all said the same thing: Call me.

With lessons booked back-to-back until mid-afternoon, it was four o’clock before she finally managed to phone him. When she did she braced herself for his irritation.

“I’m sorry I was grumpy this morning Marcus, especially after you got up so early and then called Izzie and made pancakes for us all… I had no right to nag you about Luke either, I…”

He cut her off mid-sentence, dismissing her apology. “Is it okay if I bring him to see you at the end of the afternoon?”

“Yes, of course it is, but only if it’s what he wants. I already told you that forcing him to come won’t work.”

She could hear the impatience in his voice. “Give me a little credit won’t you! He keeps saying he wants to see Buckmaster. I don’t know what’s put it into his head; maybe it was seeing you at breakfast. Whatever it is…he’s very insistent. Izzie says it’s best to let him. She says you stop teaching around four.”

“She’s right. I’ve just finished my last lesson so you can come now if you want to. Get Izzie to come home too Marcus. We haven’t finished yesterday’s conversation yet.”

She heard him sigh. “Nor have we,” he said and then he cut the call.

* * *

Jodie had been staring blindly at the accounts for five minutes when Marcus drove into the yard. Hearing the car door slam she shut down the computer and walked out to meet him, anticipating a frown or something worse. Luke might want to visit Buckmaster but from his tone of voice on the phone, it was very clear Marcus didn’t. He was doing it in spite of himself rather than because he thought it might help his son. She gave an inward sigh. Why did it have to be like this when everything else in their relationship was so good?

A sudden and painful thought stopped her short as Marcus walked towards her. What if they could never resolve their differences? What if he insisted on continuing to sideline Luke? Could she live with that or would the respect she had for him slowly erode? Would she be the one to eventually walk away rather than the other way round? With a huge effort she smiled at him as they met in the middle of the yard.

“Where’s Luke?”

“Izzie’s taken him to see Buckmaster.” Marcus didn’t return her smile.

She turned away. “We’d better go join them then.”

He lengthened his stride until he overtook her and then stopped and confronted her. “I thought you said she is nearly as good as you when it comes to horses and children.”

“I did…she is.”

“So we don’t need to worry about them?”

She shook her head. “I…I guess not.”

“Good, because we’ve got some talking to do, and before you say a word…no, it can’t wait! I’m fed up with this Jodie. Fed up with wanting you in my bed every night and having to wait until you can fit me into your busy schedule. Fed up with needing to talk to you…needing to spend time with you…only to have it all taken away because something has happened to Izzie or to Luke. I’m fed up with being at the bottom of your list.”

She stared up at him. She was too angry to hear the raw pain in his voice. “So what do you expect me to do about it? Abandon Izzie? Encourage you to carry on ignoring Luke? Is that your solution? Because if it is then we’d better say goodbye right now before we really start to hurt one another.”

He grasped her arm. “That’s not what I meant and you know it. I want to find a solution. I want to find a way to help all of us, but every time I try, you push me away.  You won’t marry me, you won’t even move in with me. Maybe you think every man’s dream is to grab at an occasional sexual adventure with a beautiful woman but it’s not mine. I want you in my house and in my bed, and you’re right…if you’re not prepared to give me what I want, what I need, then we’ll have to say goodbye. I thought I could wait…I even thought, given enough time, I could persuade you to change your mind…but this morning made me see how wrong I was. It doesn’t matter what I do, what I say…you still put Luke first, and Izzie, and even your work at the riding school.”

“Oh grow up Marcus! We’re the adults here and the sooner you realize it the better.” The words were out before she could stop them, spreading a bitterness between them that was almost tangible in the chill of the late afternoon. He stared at her for several seconds, and then he turned on his heel and walked away.

“Tell Luke I’m waiting in the car.” He climbed into the driving seat, pulled the door shut behind him and switched on some music.

* * *

Jodie found Izzie and Luke brushing Buckmaster. With an effort she smiled at them. “Hello Luke. Bucky is really glad you decided to visit him. Would you like to give him a carrot?”

He shook his head. “Bucky eats hay, concentrates and supplements, not carrots. Supplements are prepared vitamin or mineral pellets.”

Jodie stared at him before turning in amazement to a grinning Izzie. “I guess you’ve been discussing horse feed today.”

“Yep! I decided he needed something that was light relief from bird food, especially now he’s moved onto worms and bugs thanks to poor old Blue.”

Despite the feelings churning around inside her, Jodie smiled. “He needs to learn about treats too though. Horses like treats Luke, the same as you do. Here, give him a carrot now. He’s been working hard today so he deserves it.”

Luke ignored the carrot she held out to him. Instead he turned to Izzie. “Hay, concentrate and supplements,” he repeated.

She laughed. “Yes, you’re right Luke but I should have told you about the treats too. Bucky is allowed to have a carrot or an apple sometimes. Jodie is right. Everyone needs a treat occasionally.”

The meaning behind her words was blatant but Jodie refused to bite. Instead she kept her voice neutral as she told Luke that Marcus was waiting for him in the car. Then she busied herself with Buckmaster’s tack, first hanging his bridle on the hook provided and then carrying his saddle to the door.

“I’ll take this over to the tack room,” she told her sister. “You can take Luke to the car when he’s finished with Bucky.”

* * *

Jodie had been in the cottage long enough to start supper when Izzie finally joined her. Keeping her gaze fixed on the pan she was stirring she told her she was reheating some bolognaise sauce she’d found in the freezer and as it was almost ready she could lay the table. Without a word, Izzie did as she asked. She spoke as soon as they sat down though, her voice full of angry confusion.

“Why did you do it Jodie? Why did you send Marcus away?”

“You’re too young to understand…and anyway, I didn’t send him away, he went all by himself. And we’re not discussing it either. It’s between Marcus and me. It’s got nothing to do with you.”

“But it has,” Izzie’s voice was a wail of protest. “How can you even think like that now Marcus and Luke are family? How can you throw something away that’s good for all of us? How can you break Marcus’ heart?”

“He’ll survive,” Jodie’s voice was grim as she reached for the pepper. “He’s an adult and that’s what grownups do…they survive even if it means smashing their dreams.”

“Like your dreams of being a champion dressage rider were smashed when you had to take care of me?”

“No, not like that at all! I chose to give up dressage because you were more important to me. I had a choice. Smashed dreams are the ones adults take a hammer to themselves.”

“Like giving up on Marcus just because he isn’t the sort of father you think he should be to Luke?”

Momentarily struck dumb by her sister’s insight, Jodie stared at her. Then she shook her head. “It’s more complicated than that. What we have…had…was precious…but it isn’t strong enough to overcome our differences of opinion. How we feel about Luke will always come between us. So will the fact Marcus has so much money that he’ll never understand why I need to keep working to stay independent.”

“Well I think you’re talking rubbish!” Izzie pushed away her plate and stood up so violently her chair tipped onto the floor behind her. “I’ve spent years wishing I had a family, years wanting someone else in our lives so you didn’t have to do everything for me, and now you’ve found someone who loves you and I’ve found the closest thing to a younger brother I’m ever likely to have, you’ve taken it all away again. I hate you Jodie! I hate you for not telling me the truth about our mother! I hate you for being so uptight about everything all the time, and most of all I hate you for sending Marcus away.”

Jodie watched as she stormed out of the room without a backward glance, then she pushed her own plate away and buried her face in her hands. Izzie was right. When she pushed Marcus into walking away she’d only been thinking about herself, not what it would do to Izzie and Luke. She should have realized how deeply her sister felt about the man who’d set her on the path to her dreams, and she should have realized, too, how much fun she had with Luke on the days when he wasn’t locked into his own particular nightmares.