“You can’t help yourself, can you?” Meredith ignored the cannon blast of grief at the sound of Shane’s name, fighting not to let it show. “You only liked him when you found out about his family.”
“Yes, because that’s when I knew he was good enough for my girl.”
“Because he is rich.” She did not know
that
man—the wealthy senator’s son from Virginia. Her gaze drifted to the window and the empty corral beyond. When she thought of Shane, she remembered his dependable goodness, the gentle notes of his baritone, the kind way he treated all manner of animals and people. She loved the country boy who’d won her heart. She missed him with all the depth of her being.
“You decided Mr. Connelly was
not
good enough because he was rich.” Mama didn’t bother to hide her smile as she reached for her book. “You might think I’m prejudiced, but you are, too, my dear.”
“I am not,” she denied, too fast and too vehemently.
“Then there’s always Lorenzo Davis,” her mother suggested.
What if Shane was more like her than she’d imagined, and his stories and his confessions were true? What if the pieces he had left out of the stories he’d told her had nothing to do with rebellion against his controlling family and everything to do with finding his own path? Just as he’d said. He may come from an influential family, but he did not rely on that influence.
It was his social position that had upset her. The
notion that he was a rich man, not a man who trained horses. That he would want a life in society and a wife to go with it, and not a girl who loved the country and wanted to teach small children to read. She had been the one. She had misjudged Shane, and there was no one to blame but herself. Ashamed, she opened the envelope and removed her contract. The carefully scribed pages offered her one dream, but she had lost another—the best one of all.
I have been honest about who I am and what I want.
Shane’s words came back to her, words she refused to believe were sincere at the time.
I am my own man. Nothing is going to change that.
She could see the truth. She’d been so afraid of getting hurt, she had closed her heart to him. Now he was gone. There was no way to fix the mistake she’d made. Her grief darkened and deepened, as if to steal all the sunlight and warmth from the summery day—from every summer day to come.
She rose from the chair, clutching her contract and left the room. There was no spring in her step, no joy in her heart. She feared there would never be again.
“I
hate that this party has to end.” Meredith gave Fiona a final hug, looking so beautiful in her white muslin gown, simple but sweet. “It was such a beautiful wedding, I doubt any of us could top it.”
“It was nothing fancy.” Fiona’s dark curls bounced as she shook her head, a vision of loveliness, lustrous with happiness. “Just Ian’s grandmother and my best friends. Everyone who matters to me.”
“It was our honor to have witnessed it.” Meredith meant every word. Reverend Hadly had performed the ceremony after the Sunday service, and they’d had a small luncheon party at the little rental, where Ian and Fiona were to make their home together. It was simple to imagine the newlyweds’ laughter filling the house like summer breezes.
“You are now a wife.” It was Lila’s turn to hug Fiona next. “Remember you used to tell us this day would never happen?”
“I do. I vowed never to marry and look at me, I’m the first one of us to be a bride.” Fiona hugged Lila back. “Thank you all for being there with me today. As
if marrying Ian wasn’t enough, having my best friends with me made it a day I will cherish always.”
“I wonder who will be the next of us to marry?” Scarlet asked, arms out. She drew Fiona into a quick hug.
“It will be Lila,” Earlee guessed. It was her turn to embrace the new bride.
“Yes. Lila will be tallying up the purchases of all the men who come into the mercantile,” Kate agreed. “She is bound to catch someone’s eye.”
“While I’m stuck on the farm all summer. There will be no romance for me.” Earlee didn’t seem to mind her fate in life, caring for her brothers and sisters and her ill mother. “I do, however, need to live vicariously through all of you.”
“I need to do that, too,” Ruby announced, hugging Fiona in turn. “I’ll be out on the homestead all summer, just me, the pigs and the chickens.”
“And I’ll be up in the woods where there are no handsome men, just homely ones.” Kate rolled her eyes. “Why can’t lumberjacks be cute?”
“There must be a law against it,” Meredith quipped, leading the way toward the awaiting horses and her new buggy. “Only horsemen seem to be handsome.”
“And Lorenzo,” Scarlet pointed out.
Lorenzo. Meredith untethered Miss Bradshaw from the hitching post. She could only pray that her mother would not start trying to fix her up with Lorenzo. There was only one man who could fill the void in her soul, only one who was her perfect match and her beloved in every way.
“Goodbye!” Ruby called out from the back of an old
bay gelding. The horse plodded off in the direction of the open prairie.
“I’ll see you in church next week!” Kate slid onto the seat of a homemade cart and gathered her mustang’s reins.
“Goodbye!” Meredith called out as she directed Miss Bradshaw down the driveway. On the seat beside her, Earlee, Lila and Scarlet leaned over the sides to wave at Fiona, arm in arm with her husband.
“She is a beautiful bride.” Lila sighed wistfully. “Doesn’t she look so happy?”
“Exultant.” Meredith caught one last sight of the couple. What a picture they made. Ian brushed a curl from Fiona’s eyes, carefully hooking it behind her ear. The act was more loving and tender than Meredith had ever seen. “They are going to live happily-ever-after beyond all doubt.”
“I think so, too,” Scarlet agreed.
“Me, too,” Earlee chimed in.
“Me, three,” Lila added.
Soon they were in town, Lila left in front of her family’s store. Scarlet was next, dropped off in front of her home on Third Street. Earlee climbed out at the first crossroads south of town, leaving Meredith alone with a cheery wave. Miss Bradshaw kept her sensible pace as a runaway cow bolted into sight before dashing off into another field. A jackrabbit bursting out of the grasses did not so much as make the mare blink. Meredith wasn’t sure when the musical clanking began to accompany the horse’s gait until Miss Bradshaw drew up short and tossed her head, clearly deciding it was not prudent to go any farther.
“What’s the matter, girl?” Meredith set the brake before clinging out to investigate. Puffs of dust rose up with each step. Temperate winds played with the hem of her skirt as she swished over to the mare.
Not one to withhold her opinion, Miss Bradshaw lifted her back left hoof and gave it a shake to emphasize the problem. A shoe had come quite loose and dangled by all but one little nail.
“Good afternoon, miss.” A rumbling baritone startled her from behind. “Looks like you have a problem.”
No, it couldn’t be. She went icy-cold at the shocking idea.
I’m making it up,
she thought.
I want to see him so desperately, I’m imagining the sound of his voice.
She fisted her hands, doing her best to stay calm. It could not possibly be him. She had spurned him and sent him away. A man would not come back after such rejection.
“Looks like your horse threw a shoe. I can take care of that, miss. No problem.” He strolled to her side. His shadow tumbled over her, tall and as substantial as the man.
Shane. She opened her mouth, but nothing happened. No words, not a sound, not even air. Her entire mind erased, as if she had forgotten the English language. She stared, captivated by him—his steadfastness, his determination, his love for her shining in the bluest eyes she had ever seen.
He towered beside her, mighty, rugged and trail-dusty. Her horseman with a black Stetson shading his face, as real as could be. What did this mean? All the terrible things she’d said, the way she’d spurned him and the assumptions she’d made horrified her now.
Surely he had not come back for her, could he? Everything inside her yearned for him to say those words.
She knew it could not be true. No doubt he had returned to Angel Falls for another reason. She had her chance, and she had failed him.
“It won’t be the first time I’ve assisted a pretty country miss on this road.” He knuckled back his hat, revealing the striking planes of his face. No dimples, no smile, no hint of softness gentled the hard unforgiving contours. Was he remembering, too, the moment they’d first met? Instant awareness had crashed through her hard enough to wobble her knees.
“This will only take a moment.” As if he had no recollection of that day, as if she were a stranger he did not know, he approached the horse. The low notes of his baritone made the horse swivel her ears, eager to tune in. He laid a reassuring hand on the mare’s flank. “Good to see you again, Miss Bradshaw. I hope you’ve been well.”
The mare gave a very proper, distinguished nicker and shook her hind hoof impatiently. Clearly she did not appreciate having to wait for a solution to her problem.
“Shane, what are you doing here? Why have you come?” The words came out more strained than she intended. The wind caught them, stealing them away. She watched the impeccable line of his shoulders stiffen.
“Had a few loose ends to tie up.” He sounded strained, too. He knelt, took a pair of pliers from his back denim pocket and gently cradled Miss Bradshaw’s hoof.
“What loose ends? I wasn’t aware you knew that many people in town.”
“I don’t.” He gave the nail a twist and removed the horseshoe. “I got as far as Great Falls before I had to turn back.”
“What about your job?”
“I quit.” He lowered the mare’s hoof gently to the ground. He rose to his full height and patted her on the neck. “There you go, Miss Bradshaw. You are a good girl.”
As if that were irrefutable, the mare nodded with great dignity.
“You quit? The job you were so devoted to?” A gold curl tumbled from beneath her sunbonnet, bouncing along the edge of her face, making him remember all the times he’d used it as an excuse to touch her.
“It was time for me to move on.” He braced his feet, steeled his resolve. It wasn’t easy to face her. She hadn’t given him one hint he had a chance with her. With the way she glared at him over this piece of news, it made him leery about offering his heart to her again.
“I suppose it’s time to go back to your predetermined life.” Her chin shot up a notch. All strength, his Meredith, and spirit. He saw her spirit as clearly as the road at his feet, as the grasses dancing in the wind, as the vulnerability in her gray-blue eyes.
“That’s right. Back to you.” He strolled toward her, palms sweating, pulse racing as if he’d been fighting a mountain lion. Oh, but it felt good to gaze upon her. To see again the roses in her cheeks, the dear little cleft in her chin, her beauty that sustained him. This was the moment of truth. He could not lose her. He did not
know how to win her back. He’d come all this way, given up his apprenticeship, rehearsing what he would say to her with every passing mile.
None of it came to mind. Practiced phrases couldn’t help him. Only one thing could.
“Meredith, please forgive me.” He put aside his pride, because she was more important. He opened the door to the places within him he liked to keep under lock and key. “I was wrong. I should have told you the whole truth. My only excuse is that you bamboozle me.”
“So, it’s my fault?”
“Absolutely, darlin’.” She had no notion the power she held over him. A man didn’t stand a chance. “The first time I set eyes on you, it was like being kicked in the chest by a Clydesdale.”
“It was?” Hope, silent but not mute, lit her eyes.
It touched his soul. Hope. She was hopeful. Maybe all was not lost after all. He swallowed hard, encouraged. “I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I fought my feelings for you nearly the entire way. But something happened to me when I first gazed upon you. I’ve never been the same, Meredith. You’ve changed me, and I can’t go on without you.”
“But the things I said.” She lifted her face to him, raw pain twisting her voice, out of place on this day of bright sunshine and beauty. She took a shaky breath, as if in the worst kind of pain. “I didn’t realize until you were gone what I had done to you.”
“You did nothing so bad.” Everything within him ached to caress the furrow from her forehead, to kiss away her every sorrow. His feet pulled him forward, close enough to see the threads of green and gold in her
stormy eyes, to see the silken texture of her creamy skin and the most precious gift he had ever been given—her love revealed.
“I sent you away. I wouldn’t believe in you, the man you are.” She hiked her chin higher, like a drowning woman going under for the last time. “I didn’t forgive you when you asked me, and now it’s too late.”
“When we got to Great Falls, I told Braden that was as far as I could go. Not one more step. I had to go back.” He reached out to brush an errant curl from her face. The caress of his fingertips against her forehead was the sweetest wish. “I had left my heart behind and I couldn’t go on without it. Without you.”
“Without me? Then it’s not too late?” This had to be a dream too wonderful to be true. Her senses filled with him and only him—the scent of dust on his shirt, the warmth of his sun-browned hand, his loving kindness too incredible to believe.
“Too late? No, not as long as you take me back.” He folded the lock of hair behind her ear and he did not move away. There in the middle of the road for any passersby to see, he cradled her face as if to cherish every detail, as if he could not look at her enough. “I owe you the truth. We can’t go on if I don’t.”
“What truth?” Her mind had gone fuzzy again. Emotions more powerful than any she’d ever known lifted through her, as if to raise her feet from the ground.
“The things I didn’t tell you.” He had never seemed stronger than he did with his armor off, his defenses down, vulnerable. “I should have let you closer. I should have let you in. Then there would have been no doubt.”
“Hearing the truth from Narcissa did come as a shock.”
“I noticed,” he drawled in his easygoing manner, but there was nothing easygoing about the steel in his voice, the certainty, the commitment. “The time I lived with my grandmother was the first I’d known of real love. When my father’s fortunes reversed and we went back to our lives, I went back to loneliness and impossible expectations and family duty. I went back to friends who had rejected me years before and I could never really trust again. My parents’ way of life of manipulation and self-interest left me unable to believe in anyone. Until I met you.”
Beneath her palm, she felt his heart beating true.
If it is a dream, Father, please don’t let me awaken. Let me stay right here with this man forever.
She curled her fingers into his shirt. He was real beneath her fingertips, soft muslin and iron muscle and sun-hot warmth. She had missed him as if he’d been gone a century. She drank in the things she cherished most about him—his dependability, his integrity, his good character.
“I love you, Meredith.” He’d said the words before, but this time with a force great enough to bind her to him forever. “I need to know if there is a chance you can ever love me again.”
He had to ask? Couldn’t he see it? Amazement swirled through her. His hand cradling her face trembled ever so slightly, a betrayal of his fear. She leaned into his touch, savoring the beauty of being held by him.
“There is a chance.” She smiled, happiness rushing in. “A very good chance.”
“How good?” A tinge of amusement hinted in the corners of his mouth. His heartbeat beneath her fingers slowed.
“One hundred percent.” New dreams flashed into her mind, as perfect as could be. She saw a home full of cheer and laughter and calico curtains fluttering at the windows. Rescued horses grazed peacefully in green fields. Their children played happily in the front yard. Dreams only Shane could give her. Shane, towering before her like a gift from heaven, the greatest treasure of all.
“I love you,” she confessed. “I love you with all I have.”
“As I love you.” He leaned closer, impossibly closer, until their breaths mingled. His gaze arrowed to her mouth and her lips tingled sweetly. He did not lean in for a kiss. “I was on my way to ask about a job.”
“A job?”
“I hear someone by the name of Worthington is looking for a horse trainer. Figured he might give me a chance. I’d like to be gainfully employed when I ask for your hand in marriage.”
“You’re proposing to me?”