Authors: Shana Chartier
Past Lives (20 page)
“Please come back to me, J,” he whispered, resting his forehead against my hand. I focused there, on that exact spot—the place where his body ended and mine began. We were the same, him and I. We were a perfect match, meant to complement each other. Meant to love. I held onto our connection with all my willpower, but I could feel myself growing distant, fear of the unknown overwhelming me.
“It’s working!” Jackie cried.
“We’ll see you again, J,” Giselle said, her voice growing dim. “Who knows? Maybe we can be reborn as your children.”
That thought gladdened me, and my heart smiled.
“Look out for us, J!” Jackie said, the last thing I heard before the world turned to pain, and all I could hear was the loud beeping of a medical machine. Weakly, I squeezed Sebastian’s hand, and he jumped.
“J? Can you hear me?” he whispered, frantic. I groaned.
“I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!” He cried, dusting my hand with kisses. It was the only part of me that wasn’t cut open or bruised. I whispered, and he didn’t hear. As he placed his head close to my lips, I whispered again.
“I love you.”
He lifted his head and smiled down at me, one hand gently cradling mine, the other gently stroking my hair.
“I love you, too.”
And this time the world did not fade away.
***
The healing process was long and unpleasant and wonderful. After the crash, Giselle and Jackie’s bodies tested positive for flunitrazepam, otherwise known as the date rape drug. A classmate of mine was able to testify that she had seen Jeanie put something in our drinks before we left the party, and Giselle’s mother took her to court for murder. She was diagnosed with a violent personality disorder and placed in psychiatric care indefinitely. Still, having the past life veil lifted, I felt a heavy sorrow for the loss of her. There was a time that I called her my sister, and I hoped, after the events of this life, that I would someday be able to again. I wept at the funerals of my friends, though not for them. I knew I’d be seeing them again soon, one way or another. I wept for their parents and family, who had lost their children and were left to pick up the pieces. I prayed every day for them to find the strength to fight on, hoping that we would someday get at least one life where we all lived to a ripe old age, as it should have always been.
After the accident, my father became a completely different man. He began to insist that we have dinners together as a family, and he took special care to listen to my stories about school that weren’t just about grades. I found that my lifelong indifference to him melted into filial love overnight, and we were like two peas in a pod. Together, we made it through months of physical therapy and the extra semester it took for me to graduate. When he dropped me off at my apartment in Boston on a cold January morning, he hugged me tightly as I prepared for my first year of pre-med. And I hugged him just as tightly back.
Sebastian moved to Boston with me, and we have eventual plans to get engaged and do the whole marriage thing. I let him know that it’s very important to me to have children, and he agreed. Secretly, I wondered if I might have three girls, the three women I had never really gotten to know in all my lifetimes—Giselle, Jackie, and my mother. It was my deepest hope that this would be so. I bought us a pair of Boston Irish sweatshirts and couldn’t keep from laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Sebastian asked. My smile was lopsided.
“Someday I’ll tell you,” I said. Not a day passed that I didn’t wish Sebastian could know what I knew. Often I would make a comment that he would have gotten two hundred years ago, but that left him gaping at me in bewilderment now. Lacing his fingers with mine, he leaned down and kissed my forehead as we kept walking.
“I’ll just look forward to that, then,” was always his patient reply.
So there you have it. If someone ever tells you that you have an old soul, or if you meet someone that looks so familiar even though you’ve never met, take heed. You could be in your fifth lifetime, or your 107
th
. I’ve learned a lot of lessons along the way, and I don’t really know what the end goal is, to be honest, but I have learned one thing. Be a kind person. Fill the world with compassion, for yourself and for others. Let the past be your guide and your teacher, but not your dictator.
And never forget where you came from.
Shana Chartier lives in New Hampshire with her husband Shane and her daughter Evelyn. In her spare time she enjoys sleeping, writing, and being a closeted cat lady. This is her debut novel.
First and foremost I would like to thank everyone at Pants On Fire Press for taking a chance on a new writer with a unique story to tell. I have to single out my editor and coconspirator Abby Keeble, who had the perfect edits and made this book much better than it was originally. Thank you Abby! Of course nothing could have been accomplished in my life without the help of caring, supportive parents, so a big thank you to my mom and dad for their constant belief that I could achieve anything I set my mind to. A giant thank you to Erin and Kristy, my first fans and the people who demanded this book come into being. Everyone owes them a beer. Finally a huge thank you and so much love to my husband Shane, who keeps me sane through the craziness, and who I am so grateful to call my soul mate. Thanks for taking so many poop diapers. Thank you to all my family and friends for supporting me through the ups and downs in this crazy thing called life—I love you all!
See below for links to more young adult books by Pants On Fire Press.
Against All Odds.
Sometimes boy meets girl, and the stars align, and their future is laid out neatly before them. Together forever. Meant to be. But Max and Loren are not one of those couples.
Seventeen-year-old Max DuPont is on the verge of becoming a ward of the state and foster kid. Contrary to expectations, Max is not from the "wrong" side of town. He's from a good home in a nice neighborhood, but his mother left after his father lost his job and turned to drinking. Max has been struggling to keep his head above water ever since. All he wants is to survive his senior year, play hockey, and move on to college. When his dad lands himself in jail, Max has no choice but to accept an offer to live with his father's do-gooder attorney, Mr. Larssi. The only contingency is that Max must stay far away from Larssi's beautiful teenage daughter Loren. Loren is aware that she's had every opportunity in her young adult life—at least, that is, every opportunity her parents designed for her. She excels in academics at a competitive prep school, she never parties, she never dates, and she's a budding ballerina and major hopeful for a Juilliard scholarship. But since her best friend Lily died tragically three months ago, Loren is lost. She knows just how precious life is. But she has no idea how to make the best of it. How can she live—really live—with obsessive parents breathing down her neck…and inviting the only guy who never noticed her to live right under their roof? Loren's first step in living her own life might be to get Max to notice her. Max's only chance at a solid future without foster care is to keep his distance from Loren. But their chemistry is undeniable. And they can't fight the odds forever…
Resilient
. Livia has never felt like she fits in. As normal as it sounds, Livia is anything but ordinary. She can feel every emotion of every single person around her, and it’s maddening. In pursuit of some psychic quiet, she moves with her family from New York City to Whidbey Island in the lush and sleepy Pacific Northwest. But when a horseback riding accident in her new home gives her a broken leg that heals in a day, she finds that another unexplainable ability has manifested, and her life isn’t about to get any easier. Adam has no problem fitting in and making friends. In fact, he’s the top of the school, the boy everyone knows and loves. However, people only see what he allows them to. No one knows what Adam is truly capable of.
After witnessing Livia’s accident, Adam sees something intriguing in her quick recovery, something that gives him hope that he’s not alone. Adam is the only one whose emotions Livia can’t read. Afraid of not knowing what goes on behind his dark eyes, Livia decides to keep him at a distance. Yet the more she tries to ignore him, the more alluring he becomes, and while their personal quests for identity will inevitably bring them closer together, it is the confirmation of what they really are that threatens to tear them apart. Resilient, told in alternating point of views, is a gripping story of survival and romance, in which two teenagers face the consequences of being anything but normal.
Awakened (Resilient 2).
In an attempt to protect their families, Livia and Adam set out in a search for answers that would change their lives forever. While on the run, Livia and Adam crossed paths with Daniel, who had been searching for genetically enhanced teens. But getting out from under The Agencys radar has not been easy. After being ambushed by the leader of The Agency that created thema desperate attempt to claim what they lost just over a decade earlierLivia was forced to leave Adam behind, barely escaping to safety with Daniel. Now under the control of The Agency, Adam is serving the purpose for which he was created. Manipulated to forget his love for Livia and his past, he lives a life crafted by fake memories that enslave him to a life of following the orders of the agency. Now Adam battles with vivid dreams of a life he does not remember and the strong connection he feels to the girl with familiar blue eyes. The desire for vengeance propels Livia and Daniel into a dangerous race to disrupt the destructive string of events that The Agency initiated seventeen years earlier. As they travel across parts of North America in search of other teens who are just like them, Livia will face an ethical battle over genetics, loyalty, and love. The race is on, and it is up to Livia to destroy The Agency and rescue Adam, but even if she succeeds at saving him, there are no guarantees shell able to save the deep connection they once shared.