Pan's Conquest (Entangled Covet) (12 page)

Chapter Seventeen
Assistance from the Assistant

Pan staggered into Sylvia’s Creations like a man in a desert seeking an oasis. Of course, Syrinx wasn’t there. He knew before he stepped through the door. The place already lacked some of its magic charm. The plants wilted, and the glass of the greenhouse fogged, blocking the brightest rays of sun.

Or maybe Kaye wasn’t doing her job. She looked up from the cash register while painting her nails. “What the hell happened to you?”

He rubbed the stubble on his chin. Did he look that bad? “Has Sylvia come in?”

She blew on her nails. “No. As a matter of fact, she’s late. Did she keep you up all night with her dissertation on shade-loving species?”

Pan couldn’t handle her humor now.
Get to the point. Ask for her help.
It was the only play he had left. “I don’t think she’s coming back.”

“Not coming back? What did you do to her?” Kaye dropped the hand polish and picked up the scissors. She backed up and held them in her hand as if seeing him for the first time. “Did you kill her?”

Pan narrowed his eyes, completely insulted. “No. I didn’t kill her. I can’t live without her.”

Kaye lowered the scissors but didn’t put them down. “Then why isn’t she coming back?”

Guilt weighed him down until his knees weakened. He felt like some cheap swindler on the side of the street. “She learned the truth about me. I was going to tell her, but I couldn’t find the right time to do it.”

Kaye narrowed her eyes. “What’s the truth? Are you married?”

“No.” This was going to be harder than he thought. Could Kaye really think outside the box? “You won’t understand.”

She gave him her toughest look, which was about as threatening as a bunny rabbit. “Try me.”

He shook his head. There was no other way to go about it than to tell her the truth. She probably won’t even believe him. “I’m Pan.”

Kaye’s mouth dropped open. “As in ‘Pan’ Pan?”

He nodded in resignation.

She looked down at his ripped jeans. “The god?”

“Yes.”

She paced back and forth as if digesting the new information. “So you’re the one who’s been tracking her all these years?”

“She told you?”

“Yes. I know all about her being a goddess and your past together.”

“Great.” That came out more sarcastic than he intended. At least he wouldn’t have to explain why he was stalking her friend.

“Didn’t you make some sort of reed flute in her honor?”

“It’s in my desk.”

“Wow.” Kaye shook her head. “I had no idea. I mean—you look normal to me. Maybe a little hotter than the usual guy, but it’s not like I can see anything way different about you.” She looked him up and down again. “Where are your hooves?”

“If it’s okay with you, I’d prefer to stay in mortal form right now.”

“I see.” She went back to pacing, and he felt as though he was on trial.

“I shouldn’t have followed her here. I should have let her be.”

“Maybe you should have,” Kaye agreed, and he thought his last chance at finding Syrinx was busted.

Served him right. He should have listened to Rutherford. He’d treated the woman he admired like a conquest, not a person. Only when she yanked herself from his life did the depth of their connection reveal itself. She’d severed a vital artery from his heart, a crucial component to who he’d become. Without Syrinx, he was the old Pan. Except now he had no lust, only regret.

He stood up and brushed off his jeans.

Kaye’s words stopped him. “But I still think it’s one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You do?”

“Yeah. I’d die for some guy to be that into me.” She gave him a pitying smile. “So what’s the plan? How are you going to win her back?”

He tried to summon the sweetest face he could. “I was hoping you’d help me with that.”

“Me?” Kaye’s eyes widened. “How am I supposed to help?”

“She won’t leave for good without coming back to say good-bye. She likes you too much.”

“I’d be pretty angry if she didn’t.” Kaye’s voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “But she won’t come back if you’re hanging out here. She is a goddess—she’s got to have a way of knowing these things.”

Pan put up both hands. “So I’ll go back to my place, and you’ll have to convince her to see me.”

Kaye crossed her arms. “And how am I going to convince her of that?”

Pan shrugged. “That’s the part of the plan I was hoping you’d figure out. You’re her best friend. You know what’s best for her.”

Kaye walked up to him and put a finger to his chest. “And are you best for her?”

“I care about her, Kaye. I’ve never felt this way toward anyone before in my life. I can’t exist without her. I can’t go back to my old life. It won’t compare to what I’ve built here with her.”

Kaye sighed. “Oh, this is so romantic. Why can’t there be guys out there like that for me?” She waved him off. “All right. I’ll help.”

“You will?”

Kaye nodded. “Only because you sound sincere.” She walked back to the cash register, then turned around as if she’d had second thoughts. “And if you so much as make her mad again…” Kaye shook her finger. “I’ll come at you myself, throwing pots.”

Pan resisted the urge to laugh. Kaye throwing pots at him wasn’t exactly the most threatening thought. “I promise I’ll be good.”

…

Syrinx sat on a cold marble bench in the Temple of Lament, perched on the farthest cliff of the range dominated by Mount Olympus. She swatted away a cloud of pixies and picked up a stone, throwing it across the patio and down the mountainside.

How had she been so blind? Of course Parker Thomas was Pan. How else could he pay for all of his extravagance? And a fertility doctor—that was sheer genius. She’d been watching for him all that time, and all that time, he was right under her nose. Like a thorn in her side.

And she’d fallen for it. She’d fallen in love, and it blinded her to reality. Parker Thomas, the man she loved, didn’t exist. It was almost as if he’d died. A deep sense of loss sucked her heart out, followed by anger and burning, embarrassing shame. Shame so debilitating she wasn’t sure she could live with it.

“Don’t throw yourself off the cliff, now.” Saturnia sat beside her on the bench. Her sister wore her usual amalgam of partially see-through veils. She brought a bowl of fruit.

“I’m ruined.” Syrinx pushed the fruit away.

“You’re not ruined. You had a bad encounter with love. It happens. You move on.”

“I can’t be the goddess of chastity anymore.”

“So pick something else like the goddess of botany, or the goddess of flora—wait, that one’s taken. Anyway, it’s not the end of the world. Hades would be roaming around with the undead. Thunderbolts would be falling form the sky. Look at the sky, sis. It’s still blue.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“Hey now. No need to be judgmental. I told you as soon as Coral came to me. I’m sorry I was too late.”

“Coral—” Syrinx couldn’t believe she hadn’t recognized the river nymph on the side of the road. In her defense, it was raining, and the windshield was blurry. And she didn’t expect other gods to be walking around the mortal world. “She’s the one stalking Pan. She destroyed my greenhouse and sent a deer into the road, causing us to crash.”

Saturnia brushed back her auburn hair. “You know she told me just to break you two up.”

“Well, she did a hell of a good job with that.”

Saturnia crinkled her nose. “You really want to let her win?”

“I don’t know what else to do. I’m not going back there. I can’t trust Pan, and I can’t live here. I’ll be the subject of derision and gossip for eons to come.”

“So find another century to live in. Make new friends. And don’t tell anyone—even me—where you’re going. That way, you’ll have complete privacy.” Saturnia turned away as if sad. As if she really made an effort to spend time with her the last few centuries? She was too busy gallivanting around spreading lust.

How could her sister understand? Sure, she’d lost her love way back before Syrinx was born. But Syrinx had lost everything: her title as the goddess of chastity, the man she loved, the home she’d built for herself, and there was no way she’d be able to be friends with Kaye. Not from centuries away.

Kaye.

“Maybe I will try again someplace else. But I still have to say good-bye to my friend. I just don’t want to run into Pan again.”

“If he’s really Pan, then he’s on to his next pursuit. He won’t be following you anymore.” Saturnia crossed her ankles and enjoyed the view from the mountain peak.

Syrinx swatted at a butterfly. “It’s funny. He didn’t gloat like I thought he would. Instead, he looked pretty upset, like he wanted to continue his game.”

“Have you ever thought maybe Pan has changed? Maybe he does love you?” Saturnia sounded wistful, as if she lived vicariously through her sister.

Why anyone would want to be her right now, Syrinx had no idea. “Even if he had, how could I trust him? He’s Pan for God’s sake. He’s a trickster, and I don’t want to be a part of his games any longer.”

“Maybe the only game he wants to play is with you?”

“I highly doubt that.”

Saturnia shook her head. “My poor, judgmental sis. You have your faults, and I have mine. We are cursed with either side of the coin, you and I. The only hope is that we can teach each other to see what’s on the other side. Go back to the mortal world. Talk to your friend. If Pan seeks you out, maybe you should talk to him, too.”

Syrinx threw her hands up in the air. “What’s the point?”

Saturnia gave her a steady, knowing stare, one that cut deeply into her soul. “If it’s truly love, you don’t want to throw that away so easily. You may not find it again.”

Chapter Eighteen
Greenland

Coming back to her shop brought a heavy wallop of nostalgia. Syrinx had built this place from the ground up, five years of work. It didn’t seem like very long to most gods who lived for eons, but for her, those were the best five years of her existence.

“You’re late.” Kaye stood behind the cash register, crossing her arms. Her black curls were up in a ponytail and dirt smeared her cheeks. She’d been working hard on something, and guilt hit Syrinx in the gut.

“I’m sorry, Kaye. So much has happened in the past few weeks.” She sighed.
Better to just get it out.
“I’m leaving. I want you to have the shop.”

“I knew you’d say that.” Kaye placed both hands on the countertop. “I’ve had a visit…from Pan.”

Here we go again.
Syrinx rolled her eyes even as a slight ray of hope shone through.
Maybe he does care.
But could she forgive him?
Never.
“What did he say?”

“He wants to talk to you.” Kaye gave her a dead serious look. “He cares about you.”

Syrinx crossed her arms. “Then why did he lie to me?”

“He lied so you’d give him a chance.”

“A chance?” Syrinx laughed bitterly. “He got more than that.”

“And so did you, Sylvie—I’m sorry, I meant to say Syrinx. This is all taking some getting used to. What I mean is: you both fell in love.”

“Love? He never mentioned the word ‘love’ to me. Is pretending you’re someone else really love?”

“So what if he’s Pan?” Kaye threw her arms up. “He’s still damn hot, and I know he loves you, even if he can’t bring himself to declare it. That’s really all that matters.”

Syrinx plopped down on a garden bench they still hadn’t sold since Kaye picked it up last year. “I can’t trust him, Kaye.”

“So you’re going to run away?”

Syrinx picked at a flake of rusty metal on the armrest. “I’m going to start over.” It wasn’t running away, was it?

Kaye leaned against the countertop. “Where? In another state?”

“In another time.”

Kaye rolled her eyes. “Great. That means I’ll never see you again.”

“You’ll see me. I can drop by from time to time.”

“From time to time? You might as well live in Greenland like your parents.” Kaye pointed south, but Syrinx was pretty sure she meant to point to where Greenland really was.

“Kaye, my parents don’t live in Greenland.”

Kaye waved her away, trying to calm her emotions by pacing. “I know, I know. It was just a figure of speech.”

“So are you going to say good-bye or not?”

“No.” Kaye stopped pacing. “You don’t get it, do you? You’ve been the best friend I’ve ever had. We have something good going on here, something we’ve worked on together. It wouldn’t be the same here without you.”

Guilt poured into Syrinx’s heart. “Kaye, I feel the same way.”

Kaye picked at soil underneath her red fingertips. “So why not stay? No one around here knows who you are—just me and Parker Tho—Pan.”

“If I stay, he won’t leave me alone.”

Kaye came around the countertop and sat beside her on the bench. “You can’t throw out what we’ve got because of some guy—or god. Why don’t you at least go over there and talk to him? Maybe you’ll be surprised.”

Syrinx crossed her arms. “I won’t do it to make him feel any better about what he did or give him any resolution.”

Kaye placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Then do it for me.”

…

Syrinx tightened her grip on the steering wheel as she parked her VW Bug by the fountain at Pan’s estate.
Why the hell am I here?
Pan was a force of nature. He could change his ways no more than the sun refusing to shine, or the wind to blow. Cursing, she turned off the ignition and swung open her door.

I’m doing this for Kaye.

Maybe if she convinced Pan how much she despised him, he would leave her alone. Maybe he just wanted to gloat, then return to Mount Olympus. There was no way Pan actually loved her, not the way she thought Parker Thomas had. Whatever the case, she owed it to Kaye to settle this once and for all. Then they could work together at the flower shop and life would return to normal.

She got out of the car with rocks tied down to her heart. To her surprise, every shade-loving species she’d suggested he plant on their first date lay at her feet, thriving in the cool shadow of the fountain.

He really was listening.

She pushed that thought aside and walked to the steps. The red carpet that he’d spread for the party was still there, along with broken champagne glasses, glittery confetti, and deflated balloons. He had created this entire scene—the mansion, the party, the image of Parker Thomas—all for her.

Burying all the romantic notions that came with that thought, she knocked on the door. No one answered, and she wondered if he’d already given up and gone back. It was like him—so fickle and flighty, like the changing seasons or the wind. Disappointment flashed through her, and she held it in check. At least now she could return to her shop with Kaye. She was glad she’d checked it out. It was either that or build a shop in some past century, where they’d probably brand her as a witch.

The door creaked open, and she froze, not knowing what or who to expect. The man she knew as Parker Thomas stood before her, and she guarded her heart against running into his arms. Underneath that facade was the wild, lustful Pan. She’d seen it in his eyes for a moment that fateful night.

“Syrinx. You came.”

“Only because Kaye twisted my arm.”

He looked down at her arm, and a small, sad smile twisted his lips. “Looks fine to me.”

“Listen, let’s get this over with. I want you out of my life for good. I’d like to live here with Kaye without any more bothering from you. You came for what you wanted, and you got it. Now leave me alone.”

“Come in, please.” Pan gestured for her to enter.

Syrinx stood in indecision. Could she trust herself to leave him? Or would he seduce her all over again? Hardening her heart, she stepped inside.

The foyer was a mess. The dolphin fountain lay on its side, champagne still sputtering from one of their mouths. All of the roses wilted, smelling of sickly sweet decay. As she reached them, they brightened, reminding her of their dance, of what once was. Now her life, his life, and what their lives would have been were in shambles, fractured beyond repair.

She turned to Pan, and her voice shook. “What do you want?”

“I want you.” Pan circled the fountain, keeping his distance as if he was afraid she’d smack him in the face. “When I got here, to this world, I must admit I was intent on winning you for one night. When you rejected me, you left a dagger in my heart and hurt my pride. I wanted to reclaim my sense of confidence and uphold my reputation.”

He picked up a cracked champagne glass and threw it into the corner. The glass shattered, making Syrinx jump. “But I care for none of that now. Rutherford encouraged me to get to know you, and as I got to know him and the kind of relationship he had with his wife, I started to want that for myself. I did as he told me to, and the more I got to know you, the more I was convinced we were perfect for each other. When I saw your shop, I knew how much you loved nature, and that gave me hope, because I was born of nature. How could you despise something you loved so much?”

Syrinx shrugged. He was right. What she loved about him hadn’t changed. Syrinx listened carefully, but she wouldn’t let herself feel anything. Not yet. She nodded. “Go on.”

“You calmed me when I needed you most, and you played my silly little games.” Pan pulled a rose from the wall and touched its petals lovingly. “I knew if I wanted to keep you, if I wanted you to love me back, I had to tell you the truth. At the party, I was finally ready. I tried, but we were interrupted.”

Syrinx thought back to the balcony, and then again to his bed when he asked her to talk. “You really were going to tell me the truth before we…”

Pan nodded. “That was more important to me than my conquest of you. But things got out of hand, and I couldn’t control myself. I wanted you so badly.”

Syrinx allowed a sliver of compassion to pass through her heart. “I wanted you, too.”

Passion flashed in his eyes, and he held it back, dropping his gaze to the floor. “I want you to play one more game with me. Just one more. If you don’t want to see me after that, I’ll leave.”

Syrinx was tired of his games, and all this talk was muddling her head, making her think of impossible things, like continuing her relationship with the man she knew as Pan. But he sounded sincere and even contrite. Maybe he would leave her alone. “I have your word?”

Pan nodded. “For what it’s worth, you do.”

“What game is it?”

“It’s the same game we played at dinner and in the car—the word association game.”

She couldn’t imagine where this was going, but at least it didn’t involve any touching. She wasn’t sure she could trust her own body. “All right. You start.”

Pan breathed deeply, as if collecting his thoughts. He looked at her with deep longing. “Rose.”

She challenged him with lasers in her eyes. “Thorn.”

He nodded as if he expected her venom. Then he took a deep breath as if he had trouble saying the next word. “Love.”

Love?
He was cheating and lying again. How was love associated with thorn? Then, Master’s Don’s words came back to her:

To de-thorn the rose

Is to mute life. Through pain one

Appreciates love.

She swallowed, knowing full well which word came to her next. It was from Master Don’s other haiku, the one about jumping into the sea of blue. “Marriage.”

“I was hoping you’d come to that.” Pan approached her and took out a small box. Syrinx had seen it before, but she couldn’t place where.

The funeral. Daniel Hayes was standing beside him, and he’d brought it out.

Pan opened the box, and two gold rings, one tiny, the other thick and strong, glinted at her.

Syrinx shook her head. He couldn’t mean to use those now. “Those are the wedding bands Rutherford gave you.”

Pan nodded and dropped to one knee. “I have one more word, and then you must end this game.” He took out the smaller one and offered it to her. “Ring.”

Electricity jolted through her heart as if restarting it. Pan, the god of fertility, the ultimate womanizer, was giving up his career and proposing.

She blinked and raised her eyebrows in question.

He simply nodded, and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

It was her turn. She could call it either way. One word would banish him from her forever, and the other would bind them together for all eternity. Out of all the rampant emotions swirling through her, one surfaced above all others. Certainty.

For once in her life, she put aside her judgmental nature. Syrinx shook with joy. Hot tears welled in her eyes. She took his hand in her own, ring and all, and gave him her word. “Yes.”