Paint the Wind (8 page)

“Maya … it's just a mouse. A little field mouse that couldn't hurt you.” Aunt Vi shooed the mouse from the tent. “It looks like Payton's been up to his tricks again. Don't worry. It can't get back in.”

“Are … are you sure?”

“Your tepee has a zipper beneath those ties,” said Aunt Vi. “Fasten it tight and nothing can get inside.”

Within moments, the strumming of tiny feet skittered up the outside of the tepee.

Aunt Vi reached up and slapped the side of the canvas.

Maya heard a simultaneous squeak and thud as the mouse hit the ground. She blew out a long breath.

“I'll have a talk with Payton, okay?” said Aunt Vi.

Maya nodded and zipped the tent opening after her. She inspected every crevice of the entire tent and inside the sleeping bag. Then she pulled deep into the quilted cocoon and wondered if it was possible to bell and hobble Payton.

M
AYA FOLLOWED A PATH UP A DIRT HILL AND EMERGED
in the field next to the remuda. She paused. The grass still glistened with morning dew, and the air was infused with the sweet grassy aroma of damp hay. As she approached the enclosures, several horses lifted their heads and whinnied.

She straightened the kerchief around her neck, snuggled her hands in the unzipped pockets of the vest, and whispered, “I'm going to ride a horse. A real horse.” A spurt of excitement laced with anxiety coursed through her mind and her stomach. Would riding a horse feel the same as reading about riding a horse?

Curious about a blue plastic container a few feet from the corral, Maya stopped and lifted the lid.
Immediately, two horses edged as close to the bars as possible. Inside the container was some type of grain with a delicious smell that reminded Maya of oatmeal-and-molasses cookies. She scooped out a bit and with a cupped hand, fingers pointing up, held it through the bars. “Do you guys like this stuff?”

“Maya!”

She whirled around.

Aunt Vi hurried toward her.

“When you hold out your hand to a horse, especially if you have food in your hand, hold it flat and tight. A flat hand looks bigger. Believe me when I say that a horse could chomp those fingers and it wouldn't feel one bit good.”

Maya swallowed hard. She turned back to the horse and leveled and tightened her hand. The horse deftly
nibbled the food from her palm, its gigantic lips as tender as a baby's cheek.

“Okay. Let's get started. Follow me,” said Aunt Vi.

“Where's Payton?” asked Maya as they entered the corral.

“After that prank last night, I told him to stay in camp during your lesson. You don't need more than one critic while you're learning. First thing, never sneak up on a horse or come up from the direct behind or the direct front, because they can't see you there. Most people approach a horse on the near side, which is their left. Always let them know you're coming.”

Maya followed Aunt Vi into the corral, taking timid steps to avoid the occasional droppings.

“Hey there, Seltzer,” said Aunt Vi. “I'm right here,
boy.” She slipped the halter over the horse's muzzle and buckled it. “When you lead a horse, hold the rope a few inches from the halter clip, stand to the side, and walk as if you were the Queen of Sheba. You don't want to lead a horse by standing right in front of it because if it got spooked it would run right over you. Here, you take the rope and lead him to the tack bench.”

Maya knew she wanted to try, so why was she hesitating?
Take the rope
, she told herself.

She wavered. Maybe it would be better to tell Aunt Vi that she'd rather wait until tomorrow or some other day.

Maya followed the rope from Aunt Vi's hand to the horse's face. She was surprised at the length of the lashes and the intense eye, which seemed to look through her
and read her thoughts. There was something hypnotic about being in the horse's presence, as if she were under a spell. Was that her hand reaching for the rope? Was she the one leading Seltzer out of the corral to the tack bench? Or was it all a dream?

“There's an imaginary circle on the ground below the horse's shoulder,” said Aunt Vi. “That's your safety zone for not getting run over or kicked. You can do most things to the horse from that spot on either side. Now we're going to groom the blanket area.” She handed Maya a currycomb.

Maya copied Aunt Vi's small circular movements with a currycomb and then the long sweeping strokes with a dandy brush. She watched Aunt Vi use the hoof pick to pull out the packed dirt embedded in the horseshoes. Then they took turns combing the mane and tail.

“See how I put the blanket pads over the withers and his back and lift the saddle into place, letting it down lightly?” said Aunt Vi. “Now I'm going to drop the cinch and then come around … and thread the latigo strap through the rigging ring and tighten with short tugs. Now, the bridle. For your first few lessons, I'm going to put it on over the halter, so I can keep you on a lead rope.”

Aunt Vi lifted the bridle over the horse's head, tickling the edges of the horse's mouth until it opened so the bit could slip inside. She fit the bridle over the ears. “Maya, you don't have to remember everything today, because you're going to hear me give you these directions thousands of times until it all becomes a habit and you can do it automatically. Understand?”

Maya nodded. She reached up and stroked the sleek
hair on Seltzer's neck and down toward his barrel. Standing so close, she felt an intense energy, yet at the same time an unusual calmness, as if she and the horse were somehow tied together and communicating in an ancient language. No wonder her mother had loved horses.

Aunt Vi helped her into the saddle and adjusted the stirrups. On a lead rope, Maya walked the horse in a large circle around Aunt Vi, first one direction and then the other. With each step, she felt the sway of Seltzer's shoulders.

“Now let's try a slow jog. Press on his sides with your legs and cluck to him.”

“He won't go too fast, will he?” asked Maya. “Because I usually, almost always get migraine headaches if I go too fast.”

“Maya, I have you on a lead rope. I'm not going to let the horse go too fast or get away from either one of us.”

Maya clucked and Seltzer picked up speed. She felt the staccato of his jog. Aunt Vi had been right. It wasn't too fast at all. A wave of confidence washed over her, as if someone had given her a teaspoon of poise and selfassurance. For more than an hour she paid diligent attention to Aunt Vi's every instruction: Look out to where you want to go. Sit tall. Keep your heels down. Say
whoa
like you mean it.

After they removed Seltzer's tack and turned him into the corral, Maya wanted that feeling back. “When can I ride again?” she asked.

“Tomorrow morning and every day after,” said Aunt Vi. “Now head back to camp. When you see Payton, send him up here. I'm going to work with him for a
while. He's a different boy on a horse. Riding might as well be a tranquilizer for him, and I want him to find that quiet spot in his mind as much as possible. Don't forget your chores, Maya. Haul about a dozen pieces of wood from under the tarp to the pile next to the fire and then sweep out the kitchen tent, your tepee, and mine.”

Maya nodded and ran back to the campsite, thinking that she was a different girl on a horse, too. Only for her, it wasn't a quiet spot. It was a happy, buoyant place. She called for Payton, but he didn't answer. She moved the wood for Aunt Vi and looked around the campsite again. Where was he? Maya took the broom to her tepee. When she lifted the flap, she saw that the lid was off her box of horses. The photo of her mother lay on the canvas floor. And the figures had disappeared. Maya ran toward Payton's tent.

She found him on a flat rock behind his tepee a few feet above the river, the horses in a pile next to him.

He held a miniature palomino in his hand. “Done with your pony ride? I bet you didn't even get off the lead rope.”

“Those don't belong to you. Give … give them back.” Her voice shook with anger. “Where's the brown-and-white Paint?”

He searched through the pile and held it up. “You mean this one?”

Maya walked closer. “Give it to me!”

Payton stood up, swung his arm back, and threw the brown-and-white horse into the dense willows.

“No!” Maya ran to the spot where she thought it had landed. She pushed her way into the bushes and searched the ground near the bank. She swept the dried leaves
away, saw what she thought was the horse, but instead brought up a handful of twigs. She continued in a frantic scramble, whimpering, “I can't lose her.… She's all I have left.…” Willow limbs smacked her face. She pulled out from underneath the bushes, stood up, and looked at the deep and endless hedges. It would take forever to find it. Tears streamed down her dusty cheeks, leaving muddy tracks.

Payton came up behind her. “What's the big deal, anyway?”

She wiped away her tears and turned to face him, her fists clenching and unclenching. “It was … It was mine.…”

Payton taunted her. “If you're so sad and you don't like this place, make sure you tell Aunt Vi. Because I heard her talking to Moose this morning and he said
that when he comes back, if this is all too much for you, he'll take you to the ranch. Isn't that great? You can leave. All you have to do is tell Aunt Vi that you hate it here. Then maybe things can get back to the way they should be, with just me and my grandpa Fig, and my uncle Moose and my aunt Vi.” He turned and ran.

Maya hurried to the flat rock and collected the remaining horses in her kerchief and walked toward camp, swaddling the bundle next to her body. A wave of tears started again. She muttered under her breath. “I don't hate it here. I hate …
you
.”

“You're sure quiet this evening, Maya,” said Aunt Vi. “You didn't come out of your tent all afternoon and barely touched your dinner.”

Payton leaned forward in his chair, his voice dripping with fake concern. “Yeah, Maya, are you okay?”

Maya pulled farther into her jacket. Payton would just love it if she spilled her guts to Aunt Vi, but she wasn't about to give him that satisfaction. “Just tired, I guess.”

“You have every right to be tired,” said Aunt Vi. “You've had more changes in the last week than most people have in ten years. On top of all that, today was your first day on a horse. Let's get to bed early. Payton, did you check the horses?”

“Yes. I belled and hobbled Catlin and Audubon.”

“You latched Wilson's gate?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

Maya gazed toward the corrals.

“Maya, stir out that fire. Payton, help me wipe down the kitchen. Then let's turn in.”

After Aunt Vi and Payton left, Maya stood for a long time jabbing at the embers, which occasionally pulsed with a hot red glow. The wheels of resentment churned in her mind for everything Payton had: his parents, his brothers, an entire life of riding horses. He'd even had Aunt Vi, Fig, and Moose every summer. Maya gritted her teeth, pressed her lips together, and shook her head.

When the embers quieted, she laid down the poker and headed toward the latrine tent, shining the flashlight down the path. But by the time she arrived, an idea had blossomed. She diverted behind the latrine tent and turned off the beam.

Maybe if Aunt Vi saw how careless Payton was, she would send
him
back to the ranch for the rest of the summer. Maya smiled at that delicious possibility.

M
AYA'S SLEEP WENT UNDISTURBED
. A
FTER THE FLURRY, travel
, and exhaustion of the last few days, nothing stirred her. Not the high-pitched songs of the coyotes, the clangs of the hobbled horses, or the
thwap
of the tepee billowing with the wind. It wasn't until she heard the revving of a motor that she awoke.

As she dressed, Maya felt an unfamiliar tightening and soreness of the muscles on the insides of her legs, but she decided not to mention it to Aunt Vi. She didn't want anything to interfere with her lessons.

Maya walked slowly and stiffly to the breakfast campfire, where she found Aunt Vi staring into her coffee. On the hill, an unfamiliar truck hitched to a horse trailer pulled away from the corral area. “Who's that?” she asked.

Aunt Vi let out a long breath. “The vet. Wilson escaped last night. He wandered and must have caught a leg in a badger hole. Somehow, he limped back here but then went down. I drove to a neighbor's ranch early this morning and called the vet. She's taking him to her ranch until his leg heals.” Aunt Vi looked at Maya, mystified. “Payton loves that horse and takes better care of him every summer than I do all year long.”

Maya chewed on the inside of her lip.

A few minutes later, Payton walked into camp, his head down, and his face blotchy and red. He sank into one of the chairs. “Aunt Vi, I am so sorry. I swear I latched that gate last night. I swear.”

“No need for swearing. You were in a hurry and didn't pay attention.”

“No! I checked it twice. I promise.” His eyes pleaded for belief.

Maya sat on the edge of a chair and stared at the ground, stirring the dirt with the toe of one boot. She looked up and caught Aunt Vi studying her with a questioning gaze. Maya quickly averted her eyes and stood up, holding her hands out to warm them over the fire.

Aunt Vi directed her words to Payton but she continued to stare at Maya. “I'm surprised at you, Payton. Being so careless … It just broke my heart to see poor Wilson suffering with so much pain, his big eyes looking at me for relief, and all his moaning and confusion. You know, a horse's greatest fear is different from a human's. Our innate fear is of falling. But a horse's is of
not being able to get up and flee from danger or a predator. Imagine what that poor animal felt.…”

Payton dropped his head into his hands and sobbed. Maya's face wrenched with remorse. “Aunt Vi … I … I might have …”

Payton raised his head and looked at her. “Wait a minute.… You! You did it to get back at me! Because of the stupid plastic horses!”

Maya's anger swelled. “They're not stupid plastic horses! My
mother
gave them to me!”

Aunt Vi nodded. She blew out a long breath. “Maya, there's never been a Limner who would endanger the life of a horse.”

Maya's stomach felt sick with desperation. Her words scrambled. “I … I didn't mean for it to happen.
I actually just went up to say good night to the horses and … and … Wilson came over toward me completely on his own. He … acted extremely hungry so I gave him some of the molasses grain, just like you showed me, Aunt Vi. And I guess … when I leaned over the gate, the latch must have caught on my jacket … or something entirely innocent like that.”

“You're a liar!” Payton jumped up and held up a fist.

“That's enough,” said Aunt Vi. “Maya, what did Payton do to you that would warrant this?”

Maya's thoughts bunched so tight that she couldn't pry them apart. Aunt Vi didn't understand. Nobody understood. Maya spit out the words. “Nothing,” she said. “He did positively … absolutely nothing.”

“Is that true, Payton? You've done nothing to make Maya angry?”

Payton shifted in his chair and hung his head.

Aunt Vi studied both of them and shook her head with disgust. “So both of you have treated the other with disrespect.”

“Aunt Vi,” Maya said with earnestness, “you can banish me to my tepee if you want. I'm perfectly comfortable being by myself. I'm not used to being around boys of any kind. I don't understand about teasing or being obnoxious or any of the unsavory and mean things they do, so it's fine with me if you need to separate us and send Payton away. I am truly sorry for my inconsiderate behavior, but it was absolutely … an accident. I hope you'll forgive me.”

Aunt Vi tossed the remains of her coffee in the fire and paced. She finally stopped and glared at Maya. “I'd like to believe you, but I don't. And for the time being,
neither one of you is forgiven, or going anywhere. Starting now, you'll do just about everything together. You will eat facing each other. You will do any number of chores I can dream up, together. Payton, you will be Maya's groom at her lesson, and Maya, you will be Payton's groom at his. And if either of you fails to cooperate or if one impolite word passes between you, you'll do nothing else but shovel manure … together.”

Maya nodded. “Don't worry, Aunt Vi. I'm actually not going to speak to him ever again.”

“Me neither,” added Payton.

“Suit yourselves,” said Aunt Vi. “But you're going to get tired of hearing my voice.”

Maya and Payton peeled carrots and potatoes, washed dishes, raked the clearing, soaped bridles and saddles,
swept out the tents, and toted buckets of water from the river to the campsite, side by side. By the afternoon of the sixth day, not an utterance had passed between them and their mutual stubbornness seemed indestructible.

As Maya helped Payton stack wood near the campfire, she caught Aunt Vi watching them. Maya raised her chin in the air and walked back toward the woodpile. Payton walked next to her, staring at the ground. Later, in the corral before Maya's lesson, Payton handed Seltzer's reins to Maya without even looking at her. Maya snatched the leather straps from him and turned away to find Aunt Vi studying them again.

Aunt Vi's eyes narrowed. Her mouth set in a straight line and her head nodded almost imperceptibly, as if she'd made up her mind about something. “Let's get started!” she called, rubbing her hands together.

Aunt Vi barked out orders. Maya walked Seltzer, jogged him, backed up, side passed, and wove in serpentine patterns around poles. Then, on Aunt Vi's command, she repeated the sequences. After the long lesson, Aunt Vi turned and headed toward the corral gate. Maya dismounted and wiped the sweat trickling down her neck with her kerchief.

Aunt Vi jerked around. “We're not stopping, Maya. I know you've been on the horse for almost two hours but you're not done yet. Get back up there. You're going to lope.”

“But I'm tired and I've never loped before.…”

“Most members of this family learn before they go to kindergarten. Don't you think you've got some catching up to do? Now get back on that horse. Do you want to be the first Limner who doesn't know how to lope?”

Why was Aunt Vi being so mean? Maya climbed back into the saddle. “I just … don't want to go too fast.”

“Why do you panic every time I ask you pick up a little speed? What is it now, Maya?”

What was the matter with Aunt Vi? Why was she grilling her? For the entire lesson, nothing had seemed good enough, and she hadn't given even the tiniest approval. “Going fast makes me feel sick. I actually … get motion sickness.…”

Aunt Vi put her hands on her hips. “Bring him to a jog. Collect his head. Press your leg on his right side, a little farther back than normal. And make the sound of a kiss.”

With reluctance, Maya attempted Aunt Vi's directives. Seltzer made a sudden rise in the air and back down. Like a merry-go-round horse, he jolted up and down, up and down, then faster and faster.

Aunt Vi yelled, “Let go of the horn! Stay centered. Heels down. Keep your back flexible. Your arms are flapping all over the place! Look where you're headed, not down at the ground. Don't let your bottom slap. Oh, for heaven's sake, say ‘whoa!' ”

“Whoa!” Maya and Seltzer came to an abrupt stop, and she almost tumbled over the horn.

“That was messy,” said Aunt Vi. “You can do better. Try again.”

Shaken, Maya whined, “I want to get off.”

“Again!” said Aunt Vi.

Maya frowned but she brought the horse to a jog and gave the cue. She kept her leg on his side, forgetting to remove it, and Seltzer loped in tight circles.

“Maya! What are you doing? Give the cue and release. Now start over!”

“He's not doing it right!” Maya complained.

Aunt Vi's eyes pierced through her. “
You're
not doing it right!”

Maya clucked to bring Seltzer to a jog and they headed down the straightaway. A cottontail jumped from a nearby sagebrush and darted in front of them, its white tail bobbing.

Seltzer reared.

Maya felt her body lift high into the air and slide from the saddle. Her boots slipped from the stirrups. She dropped the reins. A frightening, sinking feeling came over her. She plummeted and her body smacked the dirt. Would the horse fall on her? Was she going to die?

She heard Seltzer's hooves retreating.

Payton jumped from the fence and reached Maya first. “Are you okay?”

Maya stared at his boots and felt him taking her arm. She rolled over, shaking, and sat up.

“Get up,” said Aunt Vi as she approached. “Payton, run and get her horse. Maya, you and Seltzer have some unlearning to do before we stop for the day.”

“Aunt Vi, she might be hurt,” said Payton.

“Get the horse, Payton.”

Maya felt tears oozing from her eyes. “I can't. Seltzer threw me.…”

“He didn't throw you. You fell. Think like a horse. Horses are prey animals. Their main goals in life are to graze, stay with the herd, and flee from danger. Seltzer thought the rabbit was a predator.
You
know it was a little rabbit, but
he
thought it was a mountain lion. Sooner or later, most horses do something unpredictable. If you had been looking out instead of down, and if you had
been balanced and centered in your seat, you wouldn't have fallen when he reared.”

Payton brought Seltzer around and held out the reins. Aunt Vi stood nearby with her arms crossed.

Sweat rivulets streamed down Maya's back, and dust stuck to her arms and cheek. Her voice filled with anger and frustration at Aunt Vi. “Don't you understand? I told you. I have … motion sickness. I get extremely sick on roller coasters and motorcycles and trains … and …”

“When did you ride any of those things?” interrupted Aunt Vi. “Your grandmother's lawyer told Moose that you were barely allowed out of the house for six years. That you were practically a prisoner …”

Furious tears spewed. “You don't know what I've done!” said Maya. “I've had lots of opportunities! Grandmother took me to amusement parks all the
time, usually once a month. And she let me ride on the back of a neighbor's motorbike, entirely for fun. And I rode a train when we went on vacation … to … to San Juan Capistrano! But I only did those things once because they made me throw up. And … and anything fast brings back all the horribly awful memories about the tragedy that happened to my parents, because the driver of the other car was unnecessarily speeding!”

Aunt Vi shook her head. “Listen to yourself. You're just making things up as you go along. There was no other car. Your parents' car skidded during a rainstorm and ran into a mountain. Are you going to use their deaths as an excuse for everything that you can't do or are afraid to try, for the rest of your life? Because Maya, if so, you'll be painting yourself into a corner with all of your lies and you'll be stuck without ability
or experience. Your parents died. You never have to get over it, but you do have to get
on
with it.” Aunt Vi yelled so loud that a sage grouse flew out of a nearby bush. “Now get up and get back on that horse!”

Payton's forehead furrowed with concern. “Aunt Vi, you're being kind of mean.…”

Aunt Vi turned on Payton. “Payton, who are you to be talking to me about being mean to Maya? There's not
one
of us leaving here until she lopes. So if you've got any comments, give them to Maya in the form of a suggestion.”

Frowning, Payton backed away.

“Get on that horse, Maya,” said Aunt Vi.

Maya saw a flicker of loathing in Aunt Vi's eyes and it pried the lid on her resolve. Remarks flashed in her mind.
Most members of this family learn to lope before they
go to kindergarten. The Limners were born to ride. There's not one of us who didn't take to the saddle
. Maya stood and took the reins.

Payton rushed forward and held the stirrup for her. He whispered, “I know Aunt Vi. We'll be here until you get it right, even till midnight.”

Maya put her foot in the stirrup, grabbed the horn, and hoisted herself into the seat.

Payton looked up at her. “If Seltzer goes too fast, just pull back on the reins so the bit makes contact with his mouth, then release. Just bump and release.”