I loaded up on coffee and starting thinking of ways to broach the topic. After all, he couldn’t stay mad forever, right? Especially when I didn’t even know what crime I’d committed by touching that ring?
The hot liquid soothed my nerves, taking the edge off my anxiety at the thought of talking to my boss again.
What if I just piss him off even more? What if things go horribly wrong and he fires me?
But what if he didn’t? What if he instead let me in, let me closer to him? Let me back into the strong circle of his arms?
I had to take the chance. Aolani
Kahale was no coward. I wasn’t raised like that, and I wouldn’t be a disappointment when there was a high road to be taken.
I had to confront Gavin. There was no other choice.
***
That night, I went to his cabin. His door was ajar, warm light filtering out from his desk side lamp and the flickering, electric fireplace.
I raised my hand to knock, but ended up peering inside instead, wondering if I would be interrupting him.
I saw him facing the
port hole, his wide-screen laptop open and glowing. He was hunched over, his gaze intent on his work. I sucked in a breath when I saw what he was studying so intensely. On screen was a photo of me at the shoot on the beach, waves tickling the bottom of my suit.
He flicked to a
nother picture of me crawling through the surf, then another of me standing at the railing on deck, hair tangling around me, sunglasses kissed by the light of the setting sun.
When he got to the picture of me in the mud, my bikini top undone, he stopped. He sat back in his chair and sighed, then ran his hands through his hair. I chewed my lip, wondering what I should do.
I couldn’t just stand here forever.
He stared at the picture for another minute or so, as I stood waffling in the doorway. Finally, I couldn’t stand it, and I rapped on the wooden frame.
“Gavin… May I come in?”
He sat up in surprise, and closed his laptop before turning to me. He cleared his throat.
“Of course.”
His face was unreadable. I stood up a little straighter, and entered the room, closing the door gently behind me. I sat down on the edge of his bed, facing the desk, and tried hard not to fidget.
“So,” I began. “I… Uh… Were those the shots from Providenciales?”
He nodded, and ran his hands through his hair again, like I’d caught him doing something naughty.
“Aye. They’re coming along well.”
“Good,” I said. I folded my hands on my lap, wondering how to the hell to ask what I came here to ask.
“Actually,” he said, relaxing into his chair. “They’re more than good, Aolani. They’re bloody excellent.”
He smiled, and although it didn’t quite meet his eyes, I was ready to take what I could get.
“Really? I’ve been wondering if you approved of the shoots.”
“Absolutely. And
I know its your influence. Sandra’s been talking you up.”
I felt the color rising to my cheeks. “Thomas is an amazing photographer.”
“And you’ve got a great eye. You know what a good shot looks like before it’s taken. That’s a skill you should be proud of.”
I smiled shyly and looked down at my hands. “Good to know.”
Silence stretched between us. Finally, I shifted on the bed and met Gavin’s intense, hazel gaze. I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly cottony dry.
“I came here to ask you something, actually.”
“You’re wondering why I didn’t tell you I’m not married.”
“No, I’m wondering why you didn’t…” I paused and let out a nervous
laugh. “Uh, yes. Exactly. Wow… You’re good.”
“I overheard you and Sandra the other night.”
“Oh,” I said.
He was listening?
“Listen. I’m sorry for snooping where I didn’t belong. I… I honestly thought your grandfather’s medal might have been in that pouch. I had no idea it was something, um, private.”
A shadow seemed to pass over Gavin’s face. His eyes seemed far away for a moment, and filled with
a sadness so deep it made my heart ache to look at him.
“It’s not your fault.”
He turned back to me and ran his hands over his jean-clad thighs, as if coming back from the wells of memory. His eyes met mine.
“Then why, Gavin? Why didn’t you just tell me I was wrong? Why did you let me believe…?”
He swallowed hard, and for a moment, it looked like he was struggling with himself, trying carefully to choose his words.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Aolani.
I really don’t.” He paused, his eyes full of warring emotions. “I’m just not good for you.”
I stood up, moving closer, longing to touch him, and soothe his worries away.
To see him calm again. Happy.
“I think you’re very good for me.”
I put my hand on his shoulder, and he looked up at me, his expression pained.
“I don’t think I can give you what you want.” He pushed back his chair and stood, capturing my hand in his. “God dammit, Aolani. Sometimes I feel like only half a man. Part of me is missing, and it won’t ever come back. Do you understand?”
I squeezed his hand. “No. I don’t. Not until you explain it to me.”
He sighed, and I knew I was forcing him to say what he didn’t want to, but I needed to hear it. I wanted as much of the truth as he would give me. I wasn’t taking any cryptic bullshit tonight.
“I can’t give you my heart, lass,” he said. “I made a promise to someone. A long time ago.”
“Are you with them now?” Dread coiled inside my chest like a serpent.
“No… And I never will be again.”
He looked down, suddenly intense, as if he just realized he was holding my hand, his thumb gently caressing my skin.
“Gavin.”
His eyes met mine again, dark with hidden pain.
“I don’t know where this is going, okay? And I never asked for your heart. For now, though, if I can be with you, I want to be.” I slid my hands up his arms until both wrapped in his hair, laced behind his neck. “I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
His brow furrowed, and for a moment, I thought he was going to push me away, but then the cloud
of pain passed from behind his eyes, and they shone with a new hunger. He gripped my waist, pulling me tight against him, and I sighed in his arms. When his mouth met mine, it was softer than his usual rough kisses, but somehow even more urgent.
His kisses were telling me something. Telling me that h
e needed something from me tonight. He needed my comfort. And even though I might hate myself in the morning, I knew I was going to give it to him. Because I needed it, too. Needed him.
As much as I wanted to deny it, he had a hold on me, and even though I knew now he’d
only break my heart, I wanted to be with him as long as it lasted.
After all, you only live once.
Maybe I was a fool, but at least here, now, I was exactly where I wanted to be. In Gavin Fletcher’s arms.
He cupped my face, his mouth gentle on mine, his tongue parting my lips like a sigh, smooth and hot and oh-so-tender. I whimpered into him, loving the feel of his day-old beard rasping against my skin, my nostrils filled with the spicy scent of his aftershave. I ran my hands through his hair, enjoying the sensual feel of his silken waves wrapped around my fingers.
He pulled back and looked at me, his hands now in my hair as well, tilting my head up to him. His eyes were dark and shining with an odd mixture of what looked like longing and fear. He pressed a hot kiss to my forehead, and held me there for a moment, breathing me in.
H
is intensity made me want to give him everything I had tonight. To make him feel blissfully good, letting go of his troubles for one unhindered night. To laugh. To cry, if need be. To feel how much I wanted him.
I settled for running my hands over his hard chest until he groaned, his breath tickling my forehead.
“Lord, Aolani… What you do to me…”
I felt him rising against me, his erection pressing into my belly. I reached down and stroked him through his pants.
“I want to make you feel good, Gavin,” I whispered.
He stared down into my eyes again, but now the fear was gone, replaced by a hunger so deep it was almost frightening. I reached up and undid the top buttons of his shirt, before he captured my hand and kissed my palm hard, his tongue darting out and tasting me. I gasped, and he grinned wolfishly, before pulling his shirt roughly over his head.
“I want to see you,” he growled.
I reached behind my neck to undo the halter tie of my sundress, but he was already pulling it up from below, greedy to have me naked before him. I raised my arms and let him drag the fabric off me, feeling my nipples pucker as they hit the air. I shook the hair out of my eyes and screeched as I felt him ripping my panties down my legs, his hands shaking in their impatience to have me the way he wanted me.
“God almighty,” he said, holding me at arm’s length and looking me over. “I will never get tired of this… So goddamn beautiful.”
I felt his gaze like a caress, his eyes roaming the slopes of my breasts before traveling down my stomach to the swell of my hips, then finally down to my bare sex, already hot and aching for him.
"You want to make me feel good?"
I reached out for him, hesitantly touching the sculpted lines of his chest and abs.
"Yes," I breathed.
"Then let me explore you," he said. His voice was low and husky, his eyes so dark they looked almost black.
I felt the color rising in my cheeks. What did that mean? Explore me? But I nodded, lickin
g my lips, ready to please him--this beautiful man who wanted me as badly as I did him.
He
exhaled sharply. "Come to me."
I fell into his strong arms, feeling his biceps tightening as he held me tight, pressing my breasts to his hard chest. Then, his lips grazed my neck, and I leaned to the side, giving him full access. His tongue tasted my skin, his br
eath hot and sensual in a way that made every nerve in my body crackle. He moaned against me.
His
lips caressed my ear, nibbling, then sucking gently. I let out a gasp, my skin on fire from that small touch. His tongue traced the lines of my ear before I felt the rasp of his teeth on my delicate earlobe. My nails dug into his shoulder, the sensation sending ripples of white-hot sensation straight down to my core.
I squeezed my legs together, feeling the pulse between them as he groaned softly against me. His cock jumped in his pants, and I reached for it
again, tracing his hard outline through the fabric. God, but I wanted to drop to my knees and taste him, but he held me tight.
“Uh
uh, lass,” he whispered. “You’re mine tonight. I’ll do as I please with you.” His hand came down on my backside, and I squealed. “And you’ll do as you’re told.”
He pushed me back, holding me steady in strong arms. “Now, hold still. If you move or pull away, I’m going to redden that sexy
arse of yours.”
I chewed my lip, my eyes hooded with lust and anticipation. All I could do was nod. I didn’t trust myself to speak. I had no words. Not when he had taken control. Not when he was looking at me like
that.
Gavin Fletcher could have whatever he wanted from me, whenever he wanted it.
Tonight,
I was his.
“Good girl,” he growled.
He moved closer, and leaned down. I let him hold me up as his lips grazed my collarbone, my knees threatening to buckle from his soft kisses. He wrapped one hand in my silky hair, pulling it tight, making me tilt my head—to give him total access to my sensitive skin. He kissed his way up the side of my neck, then down to the hollow of my throat, his tongue teasing me in a way that was almost primal, like he was marking me as his own.
Heat coiled inside of me, and I wondered if it was possible to cum just from a man wanting you this much. My arms encircled the corded muscles of his back, holding him hesitantly, like one would hold a wild animal about to devour them.
His mouth moved downward over my body, seeking my pleasure as his own. He kissed down my chest until he was between my breasts, then licked, groaning against me as my body held him, cushioning him. His hand left my hair and moved to cup me, guiding one heavy breast to his lips.
I cried out above him, but tried not to move, to keep my promise, even as his teeth rasped across my nipple, already so stiff with arousal it was almost painful.
His arm tightened around my small waist, keeping me upright as he had his way with me, suckling softly at first, then harder and harder, as if he was trying to drink me in. The pull of him on my sensitive tip was almost too much to bear—too sweet, with an edge of pain that made me want to shatter in his arms.
He growled against me, as if hungrier for me than ever, and captured my other breast, switching arms and gripping me tighter, his short fingernails raking me in his eagerness. He drew on me again and again, his tongue lashing me, making me moan, as I tried hard not to squirm against him, not to yell “too much!” and push him away, even as he brought me to ecstasy.