Read Over the High Side Online
Authors: Nicolas Freeling
Van der Valk decided by himself that there was a way of getting at the facts, and went quietly to see Mr Kevin Nolan.
âA confidential memo?' said Mr Nolan, sounding a little amused. âThat will mean it went to the Ambassador and hasn't come my way. I'm curious myself,' disarmingly, âI'll pop in for a word with him; he's free as it happens. Won't keep you more than a minute.' And true to his word reappeared in a quarter of an hour.
âThe Ambassador feels it's a little ticklish: however, he authorizes me to handle the matter. I'm only anticipating, of course, since this will come trickling down through official channels â hm? â but since you are here and took this trouble I will give you the gist ⦠verbally ⦠in confidence of course ⦠oh dear, oh dear.'
âSounds English, that,' said Van der Valk comfortably, liking Mr Nolan, who was certainly doing him a good turn by being human. âCivil servant in receipt of embarrassing instruction.'
The teddy-bear beamed, pleased by this perspicacity.
âIt does rather, doesn't it? In Ireland we would probably say “Oh Jaysus”. Mm, I mustn't be frivolous.' He gathered threads, coughed, got his fingertips arranged.
âPerhaps I can best explain by putting a hypothesis. Let us assume that we in Ireland have a criminal inquiry, and Inspector Moriarty â in charge of the investigation â forwards a request to the Netherlands Government with a view to interviewing a witness of Dutch nationality â a young man of unknown identity. Now upon checking this identity, Commissaire Van der Valk discovers a fact that could, conceivably, embarrass the Dutch Government. To wit, the young man in question is the only son of a well-known, highly respected,
massively influential member of the Second Chamber. On hearing this the Dutch Government is â undeniably â embarrassed. It communicates a sense of misgiving to the Netherlands Embassy in Dublin, where at this moment the Counsellor, Mr Van der Linden, is trying to explain to Inspector Moriarty, in whom he has every confidence, that his witness to put it mildly is red hot.'
âI understand perfectly. Can I know the identity of the respected etcetera member of the Chamber â let's see, you don't have a House of Lords do you?'
âNo,' said Mr Nolan sorrowfully. âWe are like you, or rather since we are a republic, like France. We have Senators. You wish to interview the son of the President of the Senate. Imagine what the French police would say to you.'
âThey'd say “Oh Jaysus”.'
Mr Nolan beamed at him.
âSince â oh Jaysus â you possess the name Lynch there's no point in hiding under any alias. We are about to be faced with Senator Terence Lynch uprisen in his majesty. Oh Holy Mother.'
âSome cry on the Virgin,' agreed Van der Valk. âMutti, Hilfe!'
*
âIf we had something direct, now.' The Officer of Justice was far from happy. âYou must understand, Van der Valk, that I'm under instructions from The Hague. If we had an overriding fact; a strong motive; or an eyewitness. Something we could go into court with. An incontrovertible fact. We haven't, you know. I have received a confidential memo.'
Van der Valk groaned, and cried silently upon the Virgin.
âSenator Terence Lynch is a prominent â a most prominent figure. He is a newspaper proprietor, sits upon several international commissions, in his own country chairman of a most important committee on the Euro-market. A man of unquestioned integrity.'
âBut as liable to bring his son up badly as anyone else.'
âGet it in your head: we're not getting this boy. Not without more evidence.'
Van der Valk went home and brooded, causing Arlette to say many rude things about the opinion she, as a French woman, had of Senators. He then put in a request to see the Procureur General for the province of North Holland. He had not seen Mr Anthoni Sailer for seven years, and found him as alarming a figure as he had then.
âVan der Valk,' said Mr Sailer with the severely upright voice he had recalled vividly, âI have sympathy for you. It is undoubtedly a case of conscience. I recall that once before you had a dilemma of a similar nature, and acquitted yourself with credit. I am, myself, far from satisfied with the apparent cloak of diplomatic immunity presented to me to invite my acquiescence. If you have a suggestion I will consider it with sympathy.'
âI have a certainty.'
âReally?'
âAn interior certainty â of a tie, a connection.'
âExplain yourself.'
âSir â if a Dutch woman marries an Irishman, does she acquire Irish nationality?'
âI will inform myself. The frame of reference?'
Van der Valk explained about the three lovely ladies of Belgrave Square.
âAnd with what is melodramatically known as his dying breath he spoke of “the girls”.
Mr Sailer did not draw on his blotter or play with his paperknife; it wasn't his style. He sat, immobile.
âVery well, Van der Valk,' he said, simply. âLeave this to me.'
So that when another summons came three days later from the Officer of Justice he was unsurprised.
âA compromise â diplomatically speaking â has apparently been reached. I am instructed that if, in pursuance of this inquiry, it is thought useful to interview Mr Martinez' daughters, who are Dutch subjects by birth, there will be no obstacle placed in our path by the Irish Government, irrespective of their present legal status or domicile, all this of course without prejudice to any subsequent steps they may see fit to â uh â
âEtcetera. Quite. So the Irish policeâ¦?'
âEr â no. The Irish police, it is felt, have no role to play beyond a certain informal cooperation; not, put vulgarly, their pigeon. No, it is proposed that we send a Dutch officer.'
âOh no,' wailed Van der Valk. âOh no.'
âWhy not?' startled. âYou liked the idea.'
âAnd every conjectured, supposed, or alleged criminal on whom I ever look like laying hands always manages to commit suicide practically within the whatnot, precincts of the Court, and I get my head washed from here to kingdom come. Anyway I've never been to Ireland. I know nothing about the place, I talk no Irish. And if I discover naughty things about Senator Thingummy what then?' â soprano â âthen it'll be don't make a fuss, there's a good chap, simply climb into this box we have here, the wet concrete's all ready and the tide won't serve all night.'
âStop talking such nonsense, will you?' said the magistrate irritably. âEven if I were disposed to listen I can't do anything about it; I have formal instructions, I tell you. You are to proceed to Dublin, The Hague says so. You will contact Inspector Flynn at Dublin Castle â equivalent I gather of our Prinsengracht. You speak English, I suppose?'
âI can just barely make myself understood.'
âThat's all that's needed â if you're going to interview these women you speak Dutch to them. That's the whole point; they are Dutch. Otherwise, if I may be permitted the expression, we wouldn't get our toe in the door. Vulgar expression that.'
What was there to say? With nothing on the whole but a soggy feeling round the socks â that would be the wet concrete, no doubt â he said nothing.
âYou will report confidentially to â let's see â Mr Slavenburg at the Netherlands Embassy, who will be responsible for any diplomatic liaison that may prove necessary. Written reports to me which will go, hm, to The Hague, and â let's see â oh yes, the comptroller at the Embassy will see to your expenses â really, Van der Valk, you've nothing to complain of. What worries me is we've no guarantee whatever of your turning anything up. How can we expect that these women will know anything material about the circumstances of their
father's death? I have taken, by the way, a formal deposition from Mevrouw Martinez â nothing to go on there, nothing at all.'
Back at home Arlette was unexpectedly sympathetic to the idea.
âBe most interesting and rewarding, I should think. I've always wanted to go to Ireland, sounds fascinating. They drink stout; I don't quite know what that is, sounds horrid. I've a street map of Dublin, which I got to try and help follow the journeyings of Ulysses. It doesn't seem to have changed all that much.'
âI don't want to go at all. I'm afraid of the Irish â all much too allusive and oblique for a fool like me â is allusive the word I want or is it elusive?'
âOh stop talking nonsense,' said Arlette sounding like the magistrate. âYou'll enjoy yourself. Now let's see â weather â rains all the time like here but not so cold. Loden coat, your rawhide shoes, umbrella.'
âI refuse to carry an umbrella.'
âVery foolish and snobbish.'
He was to realize the truth of this.
*
Schiphol to Heathrow â nasty as ever. Toy plastic aeroplane, the famous thirty-eight inches between economy-class neighbours, a very Dutch smell and an ooze of cheap piped musak. A chill competence, a politeness as false and oily as the musak. Heathrow a sweaty scrum; smell of soft-boiled bread and synthetic lemonade in a plastic thing the English called a âgoblet' â unspeakable ⦠But he was beginning to enjoy himself, coming round to the idea of âIreland'. And Anastasia, hm, conceivably as fascinating as her namesake. A little air of mystery that lent seduction: ha.
The Irish aeroplane was almost pleasant. True, the stewardess stood there ladling out charm over the passengers' spareribs as though it were barbecue sauce, and her uniform was a singularly hideous shade of green, and he had already noticed that Irish women had absurdly short legs. But there was the delightfully haphazard feeling that is so different from Holland;
that things are no longer cut-and-dried; that one does not know quite what will happen next and neither do the Irish but they will improvise and the improvisation will be brilliant; the sensation one has in France and which is so agreeable, of a clown's nimble sloppiness ⦠he would like Ireland.
At the Dublin airport a man asked him earnestly whether he had been in contact with cows, and another man stamped his passport and said, âAh, Mr Van der Valk, hold on a second now, I've a message for you.' It was an envelope, large and thick; coat of arms and âJe Maintiendrai'. Fifty pounds in currency, a street map with the Embassy meticulously marked in black ballpoint, a little note saying âExpect you tomorrow ten a.m. Slavenburg' and a hotel reservation.
âSheridan,' said the official, reading unashamedly over his shoulder. âDoing you well. Nice that, right in the centre, Stephens Green, best bar in Europe, cheerio now, enjoy yourself.'
No different from other countries â every town he had ever been in had the best bar in Europe â but a nice change that, for the poor policeman, to be given an expensive hotel. Not the Embassy's doing, he'd bet. He climbed to the top of a double-decker bus, sat right at the front, discovered his knee-space to be a lot less than thirty-eight inches (plainly all the Irish had such tiny little legs) and turned happily back into a schoolboy.
He had wondered whether he would be conspicuous, like the man at Val d'Isère who went to ski with his bowler hat on, and was relieved to find he blended into the landscape. Plenty of local people given to his kind of checked shirt; as for the loden coat, it was as correct as in Kitzbühel. There was a fine drizzle, and no sun, but there, he hadn't expected everyone to be out picking grapes. It was still warm for October, with milky, heavy clouds. âVery close, today,' said the reception desk.
Enchanting, Dublin: tatty, deliciously disgraceful; all the buses looking like much-played-with Dinky toys â all the corners bent and practically no paint left. Wasn't like England at all; was like nowhere else he knew â it must be like Ireland! Traffic went, if that was the word, on the left, money promised to pay the bearer quick punt (whatever â aha, pounds?) on demand in London, and the pubs had uncivilized hours, but the difference was much bigger than the resemblance. He headed instantly for the best bar in Europe.
âEvening sir.'
âGood evening.'
âGrand evening, now.'
âIs it?' startled. âI thought it was close.'
âIt is that,' unperturbed, âbut agh, a bit of rain, make the girls prettier. What would you be liking?'
âStout,' courageously. Where had he seen before those enormous numbers of broken-looking Mercedes taxis? That oatmeal-coloured foam looked very attractive. Yes of course; in Lisbon. Black â odd but nice â where had he heard about black velvet? A bold swig â it wasn't very nice; in fact it was rather horrid. The barman watched with amusement.
âYou need to be getting used to it. Wouldn't be the same
now if I went to your country and got the snails? Oysters now â there's people just can't get their mouth to open in front of an oyster.'
âI love them.'
âYou'll want to try the Guinness now with oysters, but I'll take that away. A nice lager now?'
âSome whisky please.'
âA grand drop of Jimmyson. Right away. Where would you be from now?'
âHolland.'
âIs that so? Lot of Dutch people here. Real colony, you might say. Very nice people indeed,' hastily, in case of misunderstanding.
Nobody in Ireland wants to hurt one's feelings. Why do they say ânow' all the time? Same reason the Dutch say âhoor'. And the English say âactually'. Delicious whisky; he had some more and went off in search of oysters. In a new town there were always oysters, and one had to learn how to open them: finding out how things worked, what people thought; it was a journalist's knack. He had already fallen into the trap of thinking that because this was the edge of Europe and had a grubby look it would be backward â or cheap. Not a bit of it.
Full of churches â all ugly. Pubs were ugly too, and shops. Women loved loud colours: emerald, puce, and electric blue in all directions. A people without taste, but with lots of vitality despite the climate â they looked a sight more alive and gayer than in Lisbon. Plenty of prosperity; the shabbiness was deceptive and perhaps only a pleasant carelessness about clearing the rubbish up. Lot of good-humoured yelling and general indiscipline â he was going to like it here â¦