Over Her Dead Body (5 page)

“I’m sure there is a logical explanation. We
'
ll get to the bottom of it. Let’s just get moving shall we?” The sheriff pointed his light in the direction and Michael began to walk.
You’re drunk and you blacked out. That’s the logical explanation we’ll get to once I’ve given you a breathalyzer
. The sheriff thought. Michael kept walking wincing and making oww sounds as he stepped on twigs and hard rocks. He was moving slowly because of his bare feet.
What a dumbass. How drunk do you have to be to end up out here naked and barefoot?
The sheriff thought as he followed behind. He kept his flashlight just up ahead of the guy but made sure the light touched him enough to keep an eye out for any sudden movements.

“I haven’t been drinking if that’s what you’re thinking.” Michael hollered back over his shoulder. “The last thing I remember is lying down to sleep next to my wife.”

“I’m sure you’re right. I still have to check…you understand I’m sure.” The sheriff repeated. He sure hoped the guy was drunk because if he wasn’t then he was liable to find the wife murdered or something crazy. He just had a feeling. Guys just don’t go digging in the woods at midnight with no clothes on unless they are either drunk, high, or had a mental breakdown. He was still betting on drunk though.

Michael stumbled through the woods. Every step was like needles in his feet. A couple of times he stubbed his toe on a rock and almost went sprawling into the darkness.
How the hell did I get here?
He wondered.
If I was him I would arrest me
. The thought didn’t lighten his mood.
What would April think?
Did she know he was missing?
Is she ok?
What if someone had broken in and hit him over the head and drug him out there?
That wouldn’t explain the digging though
. Michael tripped over a branch and just caught himself before falling.

“Keep your hands up in the air please.”

“I’m not going to hurt anyone,” Michael said, “and I’m not drunk!” He was sure he wasn’t on the good side of the
s
heriff and who could blame him. It just didn’t make any sense.
God I hope April is ok…and I hope she knows what the hell is going on.

Michael stepped out into the clearing with the sheriff right behind him. He could see the car behind his truck. It looked like his truck anyway. He had no idea how it got there though. He had no memory of driving or being driven. This was weird. Something wasn’t right.

“You need to step toward the back of my car and around to the driver side.” The sheriff said as he walked. He still had a flashlight in one hand and his gun in the other. He wasn’t taking any chances.

Michael walked up to the sheriff’s car and rounded the back side. He was really cold and th
e pavement was burning his feet
as he stepped onto it.

“Put both hands behind your back and lean forward onto the trunk please.” The sheriff said.

Michael turned around with his hands still in the air. “Am I under arrest officer?”

“Until I can determine whether or not you are intoxicated and why you are in the woods at night without your clothes…yep, I would say it’s safe to say that you are under arrest. I’ll read you your Miranda rights later. Right now just do as I asked.”

Michael put his hands behind his back and leaned forward onto the trunk. He had never been arrested before. This might be kind of funny if he actually had any idea about how he got here. But as it were, he was cold, in pain, confused, and now humiliated. How much worse could it get? He could only think of one way…
Please be ok April
. “I need to call my wife.” Michael said as the sheriff put the cuffs on his hands. The me
t
al ground into Michael’s wrists and he gritted his teeth as they bit into his skin.

“I’m sure you do.” The sheriff turned, pulled Michael back and turned him around. “As soon as we’re done here I’ll drive you up there and we can check on her together and she can follow us down to the station.”

“Down to the station? On what charge?”

“I guess that depends on what this breathalyzer has to tell me.” The sheriff said. “Now open your mouth.” The sheriff produced a package from his pocket and began to tear off the plastic.

“I told you
O
fficer, I haven’t been drinking. I just need to call my wife and make sure she’s ok.”

“Why wouldn’t she be?” The sheriff hesitated with the test.

“Well, I don’t exactly remember getting here. What if I was hit over the head and dr
agged
out here?” Michael retorted. He felt harassed.

“Well, that wouldn’t exactly give you cause to go acting all stupid digging in the dirt now would it?” The sheriff asked.

Michael couldn’t disagree with him and just shut up and opened his mouth. The officer put a small plastic device in and said “now I need you to inhale as deep as you can and blow out as long as you can until all the air is out of your lungs. You need to blow hard. If you don’t do it right, we can go on down to the station right now and I’ll tell them you refused the test. Got it?”

Michael nodded and inhaled a deep breath and blew as hard as he could. He felt light headed and thought for a moment he was going to faint.
Shit I’m so freaking cold
. He thought. He started shivering a little and his teeth began to chatter.

Sheriff Watley shined the flashlight onto the breathalyzer. He couldn’t believe it. It was a good blow and nothing. Not one percent of alcohol. That worried him. He began to worry about the wife.
This is not going to be good at all
. He thought. “Get in the car.” He said as he opened the door and pushed down on Michael’s head and into the back seat. He slammed the door behind him and got into the front.

Michael was glad to be off the concrete and away from the cold wind. It was still cold in the car though and he was getting increasingly worried about April.

Sheriff Watley got on the radio and reported what had happened. “You mean naked digging in the dirt?” Leah said across the radio.

“Not naked. He had his underwear and a t-shirt on.” The sheriff said shaking his head.

“Does he do landscaping? I’ve got a patch that’s overgrown that’s just begging for a man to come crawl around in his drawers and trim up for me. He can dig around all he wants…” Leah said across the radio again.

“He’s not goin anywhere near your patch Leah. He’d have to be drunk and I just tested him. I guess your ou
t
ta luck tonight.” The sheriff looked in the rearview mirror at the guy in the back. “I’m going to run him up to his house and check on the wife. Make sure she’s ok. Shouldn’t take longer than fifteen. Twenty at most. We got some room down there for this guy?”
The s
heriff asked.

“Well, all we got tonight are a couple guys in a bar fight and Lewis again.” Leah said.

The sheriff nodded his head. Lewis was the town drunk. He never hurt anybody, but would always pass out in gas stations and public places so he could get a warm place to sleep and some food. “Alright. I’ll let you know. Out.”

“K. Out.” Leah said.

Sheriff Watley put the car in drive and started for the old Danken house. He pulled up in the driveway behind a green Ford Explorer that he assumed was the wife’s. There were no lights on in the house but as the headlights flashed across the door, he could see that it had been left open. “You stay put. I’ll be back in a moment. What’s your wife’s name?”

“April.” Michael said

The sheriff opened his door and closed it behind him. He took the flashlight with him but left his gun holstered. He did unlatch it though. He didn’t expect trouble but he had to admit that it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibilities that the guy could have been knocked cold and drug into the woods. The screen door was shut and the sheriff
flashed
the flashlight through the screen to the interior of the house. He looked around. There was a couch and a recliner. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. He rapped on the screen door loudly three times. “Anybody there?” He hollered in through the screen and rapped again.

He was about to knock again when he heard a noise and a voice holler from around the corner. “Who is it? Michael? Is that you?”

“No
ma'am
, this is the Sheriff. I have your husband with me. I need you to come to the door please.

There was a pause and then a woman approached the door cautiously and turned the porch light on. The sheriff could see her clearly reflected in the porch light. She was beautiful with curly dark hair and brown eyes. She had a bit of a bed head as her hair was tuffled in places and sticking up. It was obvious she had just been asleep. She rubbed her eyes and looked out the screen door. “What can I do for you
O
fficer? Is something wrong?” She had no idea why a sheriff would be knocking on her door at all much less this time at night.

“Are you April Bander?” The sheriff asked.

“Yes. I’m April Bander. What’s this all about? Is something wrong? Why is Michael with you?” Her expression went from sleepy to concerned.

“And your husband is Michael Bander is that correct?” The sheriff continued.

“Yes, Michael’s my husband.”

“When was the last time you saw your husband?” The sheriff asked.

“Well, we just went to bed a few hours ago. He fell asleep before I did. But you just woke me up and he’s not in bed. I assume he couldn’t sleep and went out to the garage until you said he was with you. Did he call you for some reason? Has something happened?” She was beginning to panic.

“Is your husband taking any medications right now or is he on drugs of any kind?” The sheriff asked.

“Drugs? Are you kidding me? Michael? I don’t think so. He’s not on any medications right now. Why are you asking me this? Where is Michael? I want to talk to him. You’re scaring me.” April had tears welling up in her eyes.

“
Ma'am
, I found your husband’s truck parked in the road, running, about fifty yards from here.” The sheriff pointed in the direction he had come. “There was no one inside and so I went into the woods to investigate. I found your husband barefoot, in his t-shirt, and underwear on his knees digging in the dirt.”

“What?” April looked shocked. “What was he doing digging in the dirt?”

“Well, I was hoping you could tell me.” The sheriff said.

“I have no idea. He hasn’t done anything like this before. What did he tell you?”

“He said he didn’t remember how he got there. He acted like he was in a trance or something. I had to fire my gun just to get him to stop digging.”

“You fired your gun? Is he ok?” A tear fell from her right eye.

“Yes. He’s fine. I just fired it in the air because he wouldn’t stop digging.”

“Is it possible that he was asleep? I have a sister who used to sleep walk and she made it out to the car a couple of times.” April sniffed and wiped the tear off her cheek with her fingers.

“Well, I tested him for alcohol and there was none.”

“No, there wouldn’t be. We didn’t have anything to drink last night.” April said.

“I guess it’s a possibility. I’ve never heard of anyone sleepdriving before, but I do get occasional calls about sleepwalkers. It’s pretty spooky stuff. It would explain a lot though. The bare feet, the lack of clothes, and why I had to fire my gun to get his attention.” The sheriff shook his head and looked back toward his car. “You say he’s never done anything like this before? Never had a problem with sleepwalking?” The sheriff asked as he turned back to look at her.

April shook her head. “No. I’m always up before he is and he’s always been a really sound sleeper. I can’t explain it.”

“Well…” The sheriff looked back toward his car. He seemed to be contemplating. “I really don’t have much to hold him on. I guess I’ll release him back to you. You need to keep an eye on him though. Maybe get him to a doctor or something.” The sheriff said.

April nodded. “I will. I’ll set an appointment right away. Maybe they could do a sleep study or something.”

“Something.” The sheriff agreed. “I’ll go get him and be right back.” The sheriff said as he marched off toward his car.

April saw the sheriff open the back door and pull Michael out. The sheriff turned him around against the car and took his cuffs off. April gasped seeing him in handcuffs and put her hand over her mouth. The scene looked barbaric and she felt like she was on an episode of “Cops”. Michael saw April and started walking toward her. He walked up to her and threw his arms around her. “Look at you, you’re covered in dirt.” She said
.

“I was so worried about you. I thought something had happened.” Michael said.

“Something had happened? To me? You were the one out digging in the woods in your undies Michael Mcreary Bander!” She said.

“I don’t know how I got there. I just woke up and I was there. This is embarrassing.” He said.

The sheriff had walked up behind him. “I’ll let you folks be. If you have any other troubles, just give us a call.” He said looking directly at April.
"And don't forget to get your truck out of the road
before someone hits it and gets hurt
.
"