Authors: Jen McLaughlin
Almost a week later, I leaned against the tree and watched Carrie through the window, firmly in stalker mode, as requested by her father. She sat in the library with Cory. The senator had done a background check on him, and he’d gotten the Daddy stamp of approval. He was probably picturing all the perfect little grandbabies he could get out of the perfect little couple already. What a picture they would make on the campaign poster.
I hated the fucking kid for being so perfectly suited for Carrie. Plus, he sat too close to Carrie all the time, and Carrie smiled at him too much.
I sighed and leaned my head back against the tree, closing my eyes. All I wanted was a cold beer and a good game to watch. I was fucking beat. I was getting pretty damn tired of following Carrie around. Not because I didn’t like her, but because I liked her
too
much. It’s not like she needed me supervising her all the time. It was Friday night, and she was studying instead of partying. Besides the few parties she’d gone to, she’d been remarkably tame. Well-censored with a good head on her shoulders.
She didn’t need me. Didn’t need Big Brother watching.
I had been even more convinced of this fact after I helped Carrie at the soup kitchen last week. That had been a side of her I probably would have been better off ignoring. Just like the sight of her in a bikini. I could have done without that too. Both made me like her even more. Both made me want things I shouldn’t be wanting. Things like her in my arms, smiling up at me like I owned the fucking world. I liked when she looked at me like that. No one else did.
She leaned over and pointed at some nerdy-looking guy’s page, her hand gesturing wildly while she explained something to him. The guy looked like he’d never had a friend in his entire life, but Carrie had drawn him under her spell. Cory watched with a disgusted look on his face, but Carrie was oblivious to that. She was too busy smiling at the tiny nerd to notice.
That was Carrie. Loving and accepting of everyone—even a liar like me.
I glanced down when my phone lit up in my hand. It was Carrie. I looked up, checking to see if she was still in the library. She was. So…she was texting me while studying with that Cory kid?
I looked down at her text.
Surfing tomorrow?
I smiled.
It’s supposed to rain.
I tapped the phone against my chin.
Movie marathon at my place?
You owe me my winnings.
She picked up her phone and smiled.
Deal, but that’s not fair. It’s a bet you knew you would win. Pick me up at ten?
Hell yeah I did. I never make bets I’ll lose. See you then
.
Before putting my own phone away, I jotted off a quick text to let her father know that she was in the company of Golden Boy, and then I slid the phone into my pocket. As she came out of the library with Cory, she laughed and swatted his arm. The nerd was with them. She hugged him goodbye and promised to call him next week to hang out. Looked like I needed to do another background check.
Once the gleeful nerd walked away, Cory sighed and pulled Carrie to a stop. They stood at the end of the path, where the boy’s dorm went to the left, and Carrie’s to the right. If I had to watch her kiss another guy, I wouldn’t be responsible for my reactions. I couldn’t have her, but I didn’t want anyone else to have her.
Yes, I knew how horrible that sounded. I didn’t care.
Cory crinkled his nose. “What’s with the new guy?”
“I don’t know. He seems nice. Why?” Carrie asked, seeming confused.
“Word has it he’s an orphan with no one who loves him.”
Carrie flinched as if she’d been hit. “Aw, the poor guy. I can’t even imagine what he’s been through.”
“But—”
“No buts. He’s nice and I like him.” She stared Cory down. “I think I’m going to head up now. Thanks for the study session.”
“Want to come to the party over there with me?” Cory asked, pointing behind him. “It’s supposed to be fun.”
“No, thank you. I have plans already.”
She did?
“All right.” Cory hugged Carrie close. “Good night.”
“Night.”
Carrie headed to her dorm room alone, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t want to watch her drink herself stupid tonight. I wanted to drink
myself
stupid, in my quiet, empty apartment. Cory mumbled something under his breath as he passed me, and then headed toward the party raging a few buildings down.
My phone buzzed, and I took it out of my pocket as I headed toward my bike.
Want to start our movie fest tonight? I’m in the mood for a sleepover
…
My eyes went wide.
You want to have a sleepover? At my place?
Barely a second passed before she replied.
Why not?
I could think of at least ten reasons “why not” off the top of my head. Every single nerve in my brain shouted no. Screamed it was a bad idea. Even so, I typed:
Sure. Be there in five
.
I waited the required time and walked up to her dorm door. Or, the one she
showed
me was her dorm door. She stood there, wearing the same outfit she’d had on earlier but holding a bag on her shoulder. “Hey.”
I caught my breath at the sight of her, her eyes shining as she smiled at me. I swore she got more beautiful, more irresistible, each time I saw her. I took her bag from her and slung it over my own shoulder. “Hey, yourself. How was your night?”
“Good. Marie is at a party, so my dorm was quiet for once. I studied with Cory until a few minutes ago since we have our first exam on Monday, but he went to the party. Now I’m with you.”
Thank motherfucking God for that. “So, I’m not your only friend anymore?”
“I guess not.” She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t even know if Marie is my friend. I think we just kind of deal with each other. We get along and all, but we’re really different.”
I’d say so. I had seen Marie come out of at least three different guys’ rooms during the week, but hadn’t seen her crack open a book even once. “Yeah. Not all roommates are instant friends like in movies.”
“I guess not.” She stopped at my bike. “I like her, but she’s not my friend. Not like you are.”
I swallowed hard. “Not like Cory, either?”
“Cory is nice. I like him.”
“There’s that word again. Nice.” I flexed my fingers on her bag. “Future boyfriend material?”
She stole a peek at me and her cheeks went all pink. “I have no idea. I’m not really into planning out that portion of my life. If I find someone I like, it’ll happen. Until then, I’ll focus on my studies, and keep my lips to myself.”
I tried to ban the memory of her mouth on mine from my memory. Tried to forget how much she’d seemed like she liked me as she moaned into my mouth. I failed. Miserably. “That’s a very mature way to think of it.”
“If you say so. I just call it common sense.”
I sat down on the bike and handed her the helmet I bought for her. She looked at me with wide eyes, as if no one had ever bought her a fucking present before. “Did you buy this for me?”
“I did.” I shrugged and slammed my own helmet over my head, more to hide from her scrutiny than anything. I liked having her on my bike, so I bought her a helmet. Nothing more to it than that. “If you’re going to be riding with me, it makes sense for you to have one.”
“I’ll pay you back.” She pushed the helmet down on her head. “How much was it?”
“I don’t want your money.” I booted up the kickstand. “Now hold on tight.”
“But—”
“Just close your eyes and relax.”
I revved up the engine, bringing the bike to life. I waited for her to argue, like usual, but she didn’t. And when she wrapped her body around mine, laying her head on my shoulder,
I
closed
my
eyes. For a second, I pretended she wasn’t my boss’s daughter or my assignment. Pretended I wasn’t lying to her, and that she wouldn’t hate me when she found out the truth. For a brief second, I let myself enjoy the way she felt pressed up against me, her body all soft and willing.
I inhaled deeply, memorizing her scent. She smelled amazing, even when fresh out of the ocean. It haunted me daily.
She
taunted me daily, without even trying. I wanted her.
Too bad I couldn’t have her.
I opened my eyes and pulled out onto the road. I took my time on the ride there, taking as many back roads as possible for the short ride. This was the only period I got to feel her arms around me without feeling guilty as hell about it. The only occasion I was permitted to touch and be touched. If I had my way, we’d drive around all night long.
But I didn’t.
When I pulled up at my place, I killed the engine and sat there for a second, not moving. Interestingly enough, neither did she. As if by some unspoken agreement, we held each other. It wasn’t until a truck drove by that either one of us moved. She dropped her arms from around my waist and removed her helmet.
I took mine off too and our gazes clashed.
She was so beautifully off limits that it hurt. Her hair was sticking up, she had no makeup on, but she looked abso-fucking-lutely perfect. She licked her lips and didn’t drop my gaze. “Thank you for the helmet,” she said softly. So softly I almost didn’t hear her. “And the ride.”
“Don’t mention it,” I said, my voice gruff.
I slid off of the bike and offered her my hand. I should stop doing that. As a matter of fact, I should take her home right now, before I proved myself unworthy of trust—hers and her father’s. But sending her away now would only hurt her feelings, and the last thing I wanted to do was that. She would hate me once she found out who I really was.
I didn’t want to hurry the inevitable along.
She slid her fingers inside of mine, her fingers so small and dainty, and I held on tight. Right or wrong, I didn’t want to let go. I wanted to hold her close, cherish her, and continue to show her how fun life could be when you spend your time with the right person. I wanted to show her
everything
.
“Why are you so quiet?” she asked, darting a quick look at me. “Is something wrong?”
Shit. How long had I been quiet? “No, nothing’s wrong.” I led her up the walk toward my small studio apartment. “I’m just tired.”
“Oh. Do you want to cancel?”
Yes
. “No.” I unlocked the door. “It’s nothing a little bit of coffee won’t help.”
“No beer tonight?” She nudged my arm.
“Not for the nineteen-year-old. Your father would kill me if he found out I was giving alcohol to a minor.”
“You don’t know him and he doesn’t know you.” She rolled her eyes. “I think you’re safe.”
My heart squeezed tight. “Not if he has security watching you like you said.” I hated this game. I hated lying. I hated not telling her
I
was the security watching her. “I’m not going to jail for supplying a minor with booze.”
She huffed. “What’s the good of having a friend who is older than twenty-one if he won’t get me drunk?”
“I’ll tell you what I’m good at,” I said, stopping and slinging her over my shoulder. “I’m good for surfing, riding a bike, and carrying your cute little ass around.”
She giggled and tried to squirm free, but I tightened my grip on her thighs. I liked her in this position. I had a great view. “Put me down!”
“Nope.” I juggled her weight and my key, finally managing to open the door to my apartment without dropping her on her perfect little ass. “I’m keeping you forever. Tell your bodyguards that, nice and loud.”
She snorted. “If they’re watching, they’ll come running.”
“Then this is a good way to find out if they’re here. Play the part of damsel in distress properly.” I slapped her ass and stood on the threshold. “Call out for help, or I’ll smack you harder.”
“Help!” she cried, her voice convincingly strained. “Someone, help me!”
“Nice.” I slammed the door behind us and set her on her feet, even though I didn’t want to. She rushed to the window and peeked out. “You should get into acting.”
“No one’s coming. I can’t believe it,” she said excitedly. “He actually trusted me enough to send me here alone.”
Guilt slammed into me, hard and fast and merciless. “See? You were worried about nothing.”
“Words cannot describe how happy I am right now that you offered to be my guinea pig.” She turned and flung herself at me, hugging me tight. “So I’ll show you instead.”
My arms closed around her, and I held her close to my chest. I could feel her heart beating fast against mine, as if she’d just caught a huge wave and rode it through to the end. “Hey, now, it wasn’t exactly rocket science.”
“Still.” She rested her cheek on the spot right above my heart. I forgot how short she was until times like this. She didn’t even reach my shoulders. “Now I know I can really relax. No one’s watching me. You have no idea how wonderful that sensation is. At home, I’d wake up and find security officers watching me sleep. As if a man was going to break in and ravish me in my sleep or something. I had no freedom. None. But now I do, and it’s fabulous.”
“Your dad had people watch you
sleep
?”
She averted her face. “Yes.”
I swallowed hard. I hadn’t known that part. That went beyond loving parent and into loony-toon territory. “I’m sorry. That’s insane.”
“Yeah, that’s my dad for you.” She lifted her head and smiled up at me, her eyes sparkling. “But I’m finally free.”
She was so easily tricked. So gullible. And I was an ass for taking advantage of that innocence. My throat threatened to close up on me and kill me, right then and there in my own apartment. At this moment, I felt that it would have been a well-deserved death. “Right.”
She pulled back a little bit, her hands resting on my shoulders, and looked up at me with those big blue eyes. If she kept looking at me as if I owned the sun, I would die trying. After holding my gaze for what seemed like an eternity, she rose up on her tiptoes and didn’t stop until her mouth was a scant inch or so from my ear.
“So…since no one’s watching…”
I tightened my grip on her. If she suggested we have wild, crazy sex on the balcony…I wouldn’t say no. I was too weak right now. “Yeah?”
“How about that drink?”
I swallowed a laugh. I didn’t know if I was relieved or disappointed she didn’t want crazy balcony sex. “No way.”
“We’ve quite clearly established there is no one watching. That was your excuse.”
I dropped my hold on her and removed her hands from my shoulders. “You’re just using me for my age, aren’t you? Admit it.”