Our Song (17 page)

Four Years Later...

Asher

Our Song.

Who would have thought that our song would literally be
Our Song
. Or the title of a book that I wrote. But Becca is an amazing musician, so I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised about the song part.

The book is
much
more surprising. When I first got the idea for it, I wasn’t sure that Becca was going to allow me to share what happened to her, or what happened between us that summer. It was very personal, for both of us. But once I explained to her why I wanted to write it, she was all in.

It started out as a research project for one of my journalism classes. After everything that had happened to Becca, I wanted to find a way to help get the word out there about dating abuse. The more I researched, the more I truly began to understand just exactly what Becca had been going through, even before that horrible incident. And I knew, even outside of the project I was working on, I had to do something to spread the word. And that something turned into a full-length novel.

Today, we are going to be on a local talk show, discussing the book, the song, and the importance of recognizing dating abuse for what it is. It’s absolutely mind blowing. How did we end up here? Our life has definitely been a roller coaster ride since that summer. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

***

As we wait in the green room of The Meg and Staci Show, I’m getting more and more nervous. This isn’t the same as talking on the phone to someone about what we are hoping to accomplish, or even on the radio. People are going to see this, on television. And don’t even get me started on the fact that there’s a live studio audience.

As if she can sense my building fear, Becca comes over, sits on my lap, and puts her arms around me, laying her head on my chest. “There’s no need to be nervous, babe. We aren’t really here to talk about us. We’re here to help other people understand what dating abuse is, the importance of telling someone else it’s happening, and how to safely get out of the relationship.”

I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her hair. “You always know how to make me feel a little better.”

She looks up at me with her eyebrows scrunched together. “Only a little?”

I tuck her hair behind her ears as I say, “Don’t worry about me. There is nothing that could totally remove my nerves about today. But I’ll be fine.”

There’s a quick knock on the door, and a man leans his head into the room. “Five minutes.”

I lift Becca up as I stand, and she lets out her beautiful laugh. “Asher! Put me down!”

Carefully, I set Becca back on her feet. She kisses me on the cheek and takes my hand. “Seriously, Asher. We’re just going to go out there, and help others who are like I used to be. No big deal.”

I try to smile and nod, giving her hand a squeeze. “No big deal.”

But little does
she
know, that’s not all we’re going to do out there. And I’m more nervous than I’ve ever been in my life.

-----

Becca

“And we’re back,” Staci says. “If you’re just tuning in today, we have Rebecca Haines and Asher Sorenson here with us, talking about their song and book, Our Song, and the message they are hoping to convey by sharing their story with the world.”

I give Asher’s hand another squeeze, hoping to comfort him. The longer we’ve been in front of the audience, the greener around the gills he looks, which is crazy, because he’s been doing a fantastic job talking about everything so far.

“So, tell us about the work you two have been doing with loveisrespect,” Meg says.

“Well, Meg, when Asher first started his research on dating abuse, loveisrespect.org was one of the first websites he came across. When he showed it to me, we realized that abuse isn’t just physical. And sadly, it was happening way more across the country than either one of us ever imagined.”

“We decided that waiting to finish writing the book to help spread the message about dating abuse was too long to wait,” Asher says, looking like he’s gaining back some confidence. “So, we started by using some of the ideas the website offers to help share information. But even that didn’t really feel like enough. We contacted loveisrespect, and asked what else we could do to help.”

***

The lights in the studio dim, as a spotlight is cast on Asher and I. We are sitting on stools, him with his guitar, me with my banjo, and microphones in front of us. Jake, a friend of mine from choir, is sitting at a piano behind us, waiting for Asher's cue. I take a deep breath, nod to Asher, and he counts us all in by tapping his guitar four times.

I close my eyes and play along, pretending it's just me and Asher, putting this song together in a practice room at school. My nerves immediately wash away, and I start to sing.

You let me be strong,

Didn't say it was wrong.

You opened my eyes to see

It's okay to be me.

We're like a symphony,

Notes in a perfect melody.

We'd tried every song in the book,

Our parents', our friends', every line, every hook.

We listened, and we would sing,

But they didn't mean a thing.

They didn't ring true,

So I wrote this one for you.

And when Asher joins in, there's never been anything that felt more right in the world.

We make the most glorious song.

We should have seen it all along.

No one to tell us if there’s notes that are wrong.

This, this is our song.

We play the lead up to the bridge, and I look Asher in the eye, hoping to give him a bit of courage, since this part's all on his own.

I'd give it all up to see the light back in your eyes.

I'd carry the burden to save you from those petty lies.

I fell for you so long ago,

but it took the lake to show,

Us that...

I have a few tears in my eyes, but I swallow them back so we can finish the song together.

We make the most glorious song.

We should have seen it all along.

No one to tell us if there’s notes that are wrong.

This, this is our song.

This, this is our song.

***

“Well, Asher and Becca, it has been great having you on the show today. But before we go, I believe, Asher, you have something special you wanted to say?”

What in the world is Staci talking about? We’ve already discussed everything I can think of.

Asher rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah,” he puffs out, almost laughing. “I did tell you that, didn’t I?”

Meg gets this huge grin on her face and says, “Yes you did. Why don’t you dive right in?”

Why would Asher have told them he has something to say that he didn’t talk to me about? I just don’t get it. And it must show on my face, because Asher reaches out to smooth my crinkled brow line.

“I’ve been wanting to say this for a while now, but I wanted to find the perfect moment. And, well, this moment seemed like a pretty good one.”
The perfect moment for what?

“Becca. I have loved you from the moment I met you in Sunday school, all the way back in the third grade. Girls may have had cooties, but I never minded being infected.” This makes me giggle, as well as the audience, and the smile on Asher’s face gets even wider. “We’ve been through many of life’s ups and downs together, and I’m kinda hoping we’ll be able to go through all the rest of them together. As husband and wife.” He reaches into his pocket, then gets down on one knee, causing tears to immediately come to my eyes. His cerulean blue ones stare into mine, and for once, I don’t look away. “Rebecca Grace Haines, will you marry me?”

We may be in an auditorium full of people, but I only see him. This man that, if I’m being honest, I’ve loved since the third grade too. It’s just him and I on that stage. That is, until I hear my mom shout somewhere out in the crowd, “What took you so long?!” Asher and I both start laughing, along with the entire audience.

There may be tears streaming down my face, but they are tears of pure joy. Asher opens the ring box, and inside is something I never expected, but fills my heart so full of joy and love. He definitely must have asked permission from my parents, because nestled between two pieces of velvet is my grandpa’s wedding ring. I know, most girls hope for a big diamond in a fancy setting when they get engaged. But this ring, with no stones, just a small etched design, means more to me than even the biggest diamond money can buy
ever
could.

“Well, I never expected to be proposed to in front of a live studio audience, but after a speech like that, how could a girl say no?”

Acknowledgments

I'm sorry y'all, but this is going to be a long one. There are so many people that need to be thanked for helping make
Our Song
become a reality.

First and foremost, I have to thank God for giving me the ability to take something horrible that happened to me into something good. For allowing me to hopefully help others who have experienced dating abuse to have the courage to do what is best for them.

Next, you all must know that I never would have written
anything
if it hadn't been for Rachel Harris. While I was her assistant, she constantly encouraged me to write. And what started out as a short story I was playing around with because of her encouragement ended up turning into this novel.

Megan Rigdon and Staci Murden, I never, ever would have finished writing this book if it weren't for you. Your brilliant ideas and constant encouragement made this book what it is. The chapter with Phase 10 became what it was because Staci totally envisioned the game in her mind before I even wrote it. And those lyrics? About 75% Megan. She took about six lines that I had written, and turned them into something beautiful.

I also must thank my family, for putting up with me being anti-social, all the time, because I was reading, or writing, or blogging...I'd say my anti-social behavior was finally going to stop now that my book is done, but who am I kidding? You already know I'm working on three other story ideas.

Katie John, I can't thank you enough for all of the bookish discussions we had over food and drink that really helped me figure out what on earth I was doing with this story! (And for taking a look at
Our Song
before it hit e-readers and bookshelves everywhere!)

I can't skip over two people who really helped me hone Becca and Asher's story into what it is today. Collette West and Trisha Wolfe, thank you SO much for taking the time to read my book before it was ready for public consumption, and for all of your fantastic notes, and metaphorical red pen marks.

And have y'all noticed the gorgeous cover on this book? That was all Jen Showalter's doing. She did an absolutely phenomenal job taking Becca and Asher's story and turning it into a book cover that absolutely represents what
Our Song
is about.

Thank you to the girls in Rachel Harris's Flirt Squad for helping me to make the back cover blurb the best it could be!

loveisrespect.org must also be thanked. Not only did I find a ton of information that helped me write about the correct way for Becca to deal with some of the things that I hadn't personally experienced, the people I contacted that work at loveisrespect are all super helpful, and so nice.

And last, but certainly not least, thank YOU for taking a chance on Becca and Asher's story. I can't even begin to express how much it means to me that you took the time to read my book.

loveisrespect.org

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing dating abuse,
please
think about contacting
loveisrespect.org

You can call, text, or chat with peer advocates, day or night.

Call: 1.866.331.9474

Text: LOVEIS TO 22522

Chat: 24/7/365 on their website

You can also follow them on many social media platforms including:

Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/loveisrespectpage

Twitter:
http://twitter.com/loveisrespect

Loveisrespect is the ultimate resource to empower youth to prevent and end dating abuse. It is a project of Break the Cycle and the National Domestic Violence Hotline.