“Then how did she find out?” she hissed again, trying to keep her voice low so Evelyn couldn’t hear them.
“She was worried she had another personality and hired a PI to follow her around to find out what was happening. He’s the one that told her everything – not me.”
“Then how do you know her? How did you get so involved?”
“I… listen, come into my office,” he said, also not wanting to be overheard.
“Well?” she said as the door closed behind her.
“You have to know, I have never been her physician and I have never compromised your care. I don’t even know everything you talk to Evelyn about. Only her basic notes.”
“What made her decide to call a PI?”
“Well, I called the PI actually,” he admitted, clearing his throat.
“But you had to have known that she’d find out,” Natalie accused him.
Placing his hands on his hips, Cayd peered closely into Natalie’s face. “Let’s get something straight here – you could have killed her with those drugs.
You
should be thankful that she hasn’t called the police and had you thrown in gaol,” he pointed out.
“I can still have your license stripped if I report you,” she growled.
“And I can still have you arrested if I report you,” he returned threateningly, causing Natalie to gasp.
“How did you get involved with her anyway?” she asked again.
Shifting on his feet, he dropped his hands to his sides and moved over to the couch, taking a seat and running his fingers through his hair as he puffed out his breath. “I met her a little over a month ago at the school she works for, and I don’t know – there’s just… something about her. I’m drawn to her,” he explained. “When she came here upset, I guess I didn’t want her thinking there was something wrong with her when I knew there wasn’t. I admit I overstepped my professional boundaries by pointing her in a direction I knew would ultimately out you. But you of all people should be able to understand doing something… out of character, for someone you feel a deep connection with.”
Natalie moved towards him and sat on the couch in front of him. “Alright Cayd. I won’t say anything to ruin your career. Although I want you to do something for me. I want you to get Mia to understand. I might have lost Eric in all this, but maybe I can salvage some kind of relationship with my sister.”
“I don’t really think you’re in the position to be asking favours Natalie. But I will do my best. Only because it will help Mia, not you,” he said.
“Fine,” she accepted on a sigh. “I’ll give you my number. I was thinking of going back home, but with your help - I’ll stay in town for a while longer.”
“Natalie, don’t take this the wrong way. I am not helping you. I think what you did was abominable, and that you should be ashamed of yourself. Frankly, I’d be quite happy if you went home and never darkened Mia’s door again.
“Eventually, Mia is going to need some closure on all of this. She is going to want to talk to you at some point, and when she does, I highly doubt it’s going to be a nice chat. She will want to talk to you about the irreparable damage you’ve done to her life. I don’t know if she’ll forgive you, or if she’ll spit in your face. However, the one thing I am certain of, is that for her to move forward with her life, she will need to speak to you. My help is for Mia’s benefit only. Don’t for a second think it’s in any way for you.”
Realising that her mouth was hanging open, Natalie snapped it shut and nodded her head curtly before writing her contact details on a pad of paper. She then rose from her chair and headed for the door. “Cayd? Please don’t mention this conversation with Evelyn. I still need someone I can talk to who isn’t in the middle of all this.”
Cayd answered with a single nod as he watched her slip out of the room. He slumped back in his chair as he considered his position. He hated that he couldn’t be honest with Mia and tell her that he already knew who Natalie was. That would definitely be a breach of ethics and he was already skating on very thin ice as it was.
He just hoped that if it all came out in the open that Mia would understand. Sometimes he knew things that he couldn’t share – it was something that came with his job.
“
Today we’re going to grab our sketch books and go outside. I want you to try to find form in nature,”
Mia said and signed a few days later to her class as she indicated the interactive whiteboard, where she was displaying the different sketches she had found of trees that could easily be a human form.
She stood by as she watched her students collect their things, paying close attention to Callie and Corey, who seemed to have officially coupled up. She smiled to herself, so glad that Corey had found someone like Callie, who didn’t view being deaf as a hindrance.
As her students filed out of the room, they signed happily among themselves without any voice. Even those kids who could hear tended to sign without voice. It was kind of like being in a library where you could only hear the movement of those around you. It was very peaceful at times.
When she heard her name out in the corridor she turned immediately, the sound of her name echoing through the quiet.
Eric waved when he saw her, smiling with one side of his mouth, but looking slightly unsure of himself. He’d never really entered Mia’s work before.
“What are you doing here?” Mia asked, looking from him to her students who had all stopped to observe their visitor.
“I came to see you… I can’t call you anymore. I don’t have your number now. Remember?”
“You could have gotten it from Louise, or even Josh you know?” she said, glancing between him and her students. Feeling slightly embarrassed by this impromptu visit.
Eric’s hand floated up to the back of his head as he rubbed the base of his skull, a movement that he always did when he was unsure of himself. “Sorry… I didn’t think,” he said quietly. “I just wanted to talk to you…”
Glancing over her shoulder again, Mia tried to angle herself so that their mouths were blocked from prying eyes. “Well, I’m kind of working right now and this is hardly the place to talk Eric. Deaf kids can lip read. We can’t have a private conversation here.”
“Oh… no, I didn’t mean here. I meant after work. I wanted to know if you’d meet me for dinner or a drink, or something. I just… I don’t know. I need to talk to you some more.”
“Alright, you want Chinese food?” she asked quickly.
“Sure, I’ll pick you up at seven,” he offered with a slight smile.
“Oh, um, ok… listen - this isn’t some sort of a date is it? I thought we made ourselves clear the other night.”
Eric’s eyes softened as his smile depressed. “No Mia. It’s just talking.”
“Alright, but I’ll meet you there ok?” she said, waving him off and turning back to her class, catching the looks of interest on her student’s faces. She could tell that she would be the subject of a bit of school yard gossip by the end of the day.
What?
she signed, smiling as she noticed a few giggles and eye rolls. She gestured for them all to continue on outside so they could continue with the class. Leaving Eric to make his own way out.
***
Eric was already at the restaurant when she arrived. “
Sorry, have you been waiting long?”
she asked earning herself a large grin from Eric. “
What?”
“You’re still signing while you talk,” he said. He’d forgotten how much he loved it when she forgot to stop signing after work. He found it very endearing.
“Oh,” she laughed. “Sometimes I think I don’t know what to do with my hands,” she commented nervously, although she didn’t know why she was feeling so nervous. She had known Eric for so long, he knew all of this about her. But now, things were different, this was the first time they were spending time together as something other than a couple.
The restaurant host led them to their table and handed them each a menu, offering them a pot of Chinese tea. They sat in silence as they watched the middle aged Chinese man pour the tea with a flourish, before leaving them to decide on their food.
Sitting across from each other, they each focused on their menu intently, even though they had been to this particular restaurant many times before.
“So um, what did you want to talk about?” Mia asked, deciding to dispense with any notions of small talk and just get to it.
“I’ve realised that I was incredibly unfair to you this past month.”
“You were?” she asked with a hint of sarcasm.
Nodding, he cleared his throat. “And I was unfair to your friend. I shouldn’t have punched him – he was only telling the truth.”
Nodding as she listened, Mia sat with her arms folded, waiting for Eric to continue.
“Go on. I’m sure you have more to say than that,” she prompted when the silence started to stretch out between them.
“I do, ah, I went to visit Natalie last night,” he started, earning himself a raised browed expression from Mia. “And… I don’t know – I’m not saying I want to be with her. But, there’s something there Mi, something huge. It’s hard to explain.”
“Sounds like you chose the wrong twin,” she muttered.
“What? I don’t know – although, I guess that happens a lot doesn’t it?”
“Maybe she’s your soul mate and you were attracted to me because of that?” Mia said, her voice small as the contents of her stomach turned sour at the thought of Eric and Natalie being together.
Sighing, he sat back, fiddling with the chopsticks in front of him. Their attention pulled as the waiter came over and refreshed their tea while asking them if they were ready to order.
Nodding they ordered the same banquet for two that they always did, not speaking until their waiter had moved away. It was hard for them both not to feel sad over the change in their relationship. What had once been an easy and comfortable setting was now something that made them squirm in their seats, wishing things could be different.
“I do love you Mia, it’s just…”
“Different, I know.”
Their first course, consisting of spring rolls and BBQ pork, with chicken and sweet corn soup, was brought to the table shortly after that, a quiet settling over them as they ate. Each seemingly lost in deep thought.
Poking her spoon around in her soup, Mia took a breath to speak. “It’s alright you know,” she told him.
“What’s alright,” he asked, looking up at her.
“If you’re … in love with her – it’s alright. I won’t hate you for it.” As she said the words tears she didn’t want welled in her eyes, turning her face a shade of pink that she hated. She wasn’t blessed by being a pretty crier, and generally avoided public tears at all costs. However, due to recent events, she wasn’t quite as emotionally controlled as she usually was.
“Then why are you so upset right now?” he whispered, covering her hand with his across the table.
“I’m trying so hard not to be,” she said, directing her eyes to the ceiling as she fanned at them with her free hand willing her tears to drain away. After a moment or two she calmed down enough to speak without her voice quivering. “I’m sad about a lot of things Eric. I’m sad that you don’t love me the way you love her. I’m sad that you know my sister intimately and I don’t know her at all. I’m sad that I was adopted and no one thought to tell me, I’m sad – because I no longer love you like that either.”
Eric pressed his lips tightly together in a wry smile. “I know you don’t Mi. But I don’t want to lose you - we’ve been together for too long to just walk away from each other without at least trying to be friends.”
“Of course,” she said, sitting back in her chair as a waiter came and cleared their dishes away, readying them for the next course. “But I need some time Eric. I can’t just slip into being your friend. Not after everything that’s happened. I don’t blame you for what happened. But I am incredibly disappointed in you for not speaking up. I thought you cared about me more than that.”
“I do Mia – you know I do,” he insisted.
“Do you? If you knew she wasn’t me, did you ever give a thought to where I was? What was happening to me? What if she was crazy Eric? What if she had killed me to take my place?”
“Mia, it wasn’t like that. When I say I knew – I knew in my gut that it wasn’t you. I didn’t actually sit with her knowing that she was someone else. It was just there in the back of my mind, and I wasn’t willing to listen to it. I ignored everything because I didn’t want it to be true.”
“Well it was Eric. It was true and I had hoped that you of all people would have fought for me,” she whispered, her voice squeaking slightly as her emotions got caught in her words.
Mia wiped desperately at her face, trying to keep her tears away, she didn’t want to cry and she hated that she felt so powerless right now.
“Mia, it’s ok, calm down. I’m sorry alright, I’m sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be a good friend to you. I don’t want to lose you.”
Mia shook her head and stood, lifting her bag onto the table and dropping a twenty dollar note in the middle. “Just give me time Eric. Please just give me time,” she said as she swung her bag over her shoulder and left the restaurant.
She then spent the next five minutes just sitting in her car, breathing deeply so she could calm down enough to drive.