Suddenly, I burned to know every single detail of Mom's and Seth's relationship. If
anyone knew Kat Mills, it was me. Yet I couldn't begin to imagine what had happened. But all
that didn't really matter. What did was the end result: Kayly Lana Mills. Another daughter who'd
never know her father unless Seth accepted the challenge I'd thrown at him the night before.
Would he? All I could predict about my current situation was the fact that my mom
would be livid and possibly never forgive me if she found out what I'd done. I truly believed that
her fury was worth the risk if there was any chance Kayly might have a relationship with Seth.
Even if that only meant seeing him one weekend a month, two weeks in summer and on
occasional holidays. Thanks to current divorce rates, that was about as normal as it got
anyway.
Mom just didn't understand how important dads were. This was due to the fact that she
never had a decent relationship with her own father, who she described as verbally abusive and
domineering. That's why she'd left home right after high school. That's why she'd never gone
back. Yeah, the woman definitely had reasons for her daddy issues. Good ones.
So was I sorry for going behind her back and hunting up Kayly's dad anyway?
At the moment, not one bit.
Because I had daddy issues, too, as in I sincerely wanted one particular
daddy--Kayly's--to call me with a big fat "Yes!" As for the other missing dad--mine--he
really had nothing to do with my current quest for normal. And if he ever called again, well,
I'd figure out what to do about him then.
Mom checked in with me at ten-thirty, Texas time. That meant it was really late, or
really early in London, which was probably why she sounded so tired. She didn't mention the
riots; I didn't mention Seth. She did comment on her flight over, the weather, and her hotel. I
talked about Sylvie and Kayly. In all, our conversation about nothing lasted exactly seven
minutes and ended with Mom promising to call me the next night.
On Tuesday morning, I did laundry. Sylvie helped me fold our clean clothes, admiring
this pair of jeans or that sequined tee. She even asked to try on a pair of designer low-rise that I
bought with some Christmas money back in January. I let her, and she did look good in
them.
Sylvie admired some other things in the apartment--the big TV, Mom's laptop, and our
Tivo. I concluded she must not be used to much. And no wonder. Nannies weren't paid all that
well, in my opinion, even though they provided a valuable service.
At exactly nine-thirty, Seth popped into my head. That shouldn't have meant anything,
since I'd been thinking of him so much lately. But this time seemed familiarly different, as in five
seconds later my cell phone rang. I suddenly remembered how I'd felt just before my dad
called.
"Hello?" My voice shook. I was that disconcerted. What if this was Seth?
"Ally? Is that you?"
It was Seth! It really was him! What could that mean? "Y-Yes." Gulp.
"Can you meet me in a couple of hours to talk? Let's say noon?"
"Sure. Where?"
"What would work best for you?" asked Seth.
I thought for a second. "How about the McDonald's on Fifth Street."
"Fifth Street. What's that close to?"
"Our apartment for one thing. Republic Park, for another."
"Okay. I know the place. See ya." He hung up without a goodbye.
The minute he did, I dashed to my room and scrambled for something to wear. Why, I
don't know. He'd already made his feelings about me perfectly plain. I still agonized for several
minutes, finally choosing jeans, Nikes, and a sheer mint green shirt with a matching cami under
it. I borrowed some of mom's hoop earrings, then had a little difficulty closing the lid of her
jewelry box. In fact, I had to rearrange a few things before I could lower it completely.
"Whoa!" exclaimed Sylvie when I came out of the bedroom. "Hot date?"
"No, I'm just meeting someone for lunch at McDonald's. Want me to bring you
something?"
"I'd love an apple pie," she said, reaching for her purse.
"My treat."
"When will you be back?"
"A couple of hours," I told her. After giving Kayly a kiss, I left the apartment to walk
the eight blocks to the restaurant. I really enjoyed the blue sky, the sun, and a slight breeze,
which made it seem cooler than the ninety-nine degrees I saw on the bank thermometer. I loved
the way it felt on my damp neck. Kayly's dad--wow, did that ever seem weird--was already there,
I saw, sitting at one of the outside tables that were made of shaped concrete. Even as I scoped out
his trendy jeans, Docs, and tee, I wondered if he'd made a decision about her.
"Hi, Seth," I said when I reached him.
"Actually, I go by Zach."
That flustered me. "Oh. Sorry. Since you signed the contract Z. Seth, I assumed you
went by your middle name."
"Yeah, well, you've been assuming a lot, lately, but let's order before we talk about it.
I'm starved." He stood, then hesitated. "That is, if you're hungry."
"I am," I answered as cheerfully as possible. Inside I died. It sounded like he'd made a
decision, all right, but not the one I'd hoped he'd make.
We walked inside together and headed to the counter. Seth--er, Zach--ordered a quarter
pounder combo. I chose a Happy Meal that came with a toy I could take to Kayly, plus Sylvie's
pie. I got some water to wash it down.
We went back outside and sat. I draped my purse over the back of my chair before
focusing on my lunch. Deciding to let Zach call the shots, I didn't speak, but picked at my food.
Instead of talking, however, he ate every last bite then got up to refill his drink.
By the time he came back, my stomach was in one big knot. I didn't need Adele's
psychic abilities to guess what he had come here to tell me today.
"Are you finished?" he asked, eyeing my half-eaten hamburger and fries.
I nodded. He gathered up our trash and disposed of it, then sat down again. His gaze met
mine. "I'm just going to say this straight out, okay?"
I nodded again.
"All right. Here goes." He hesitated, then cleared his throat. "I'm not Kayly's dad."
I gasped. "But the contract--"
"Was signed by my father, which means I'm her half-brother. I recognized his signature
Sunday. I just didn't know whether or not to tell you."
My first thought? It's okay to flip for this guy. My second? Did Mom know Kayly's dad
had a grown child when she got involved with him?
I sagged back in my chair. "Whoa."
"Exactly," said Zach.
"Do you have other brothers or sisters?"
"No." He gave me a wry grin. "At least, not that I know of."
"Where's your dad now?"
Zach's grin vanished. He frowned slightly. "Before I answer that, I need to know what
you intend to do with the information."
"Honestly?" I shrugged. "I don't really know."
He leaned towards me, resting his elbows on the table. "The thing is...something like
this could destroy my parents' marriage."
The meaning of his words sank in slowly. I tensed and, without thought, grabbed both
his wrists in my hands. "Wait a minute. Are you saying your dad was married?"
"Yes."
"To your mother?"
"Yes."
"But they were separated when he and my mom..."
"No. At least not in the way you mean. Obviously he was here in Austin and Mom
wasn't, but they weren't, you know, living separate lives or anything."
Oh. My. God.
I'm sure my face turned ten shades of red. At any rate, it certainly burned. Best case
scenario: Mom asked a married man to donate sperm. Worst case: she had sex with him, maybe
even an affair. Frankly, I could handle neither.
I stood. "I am so sorry. I've made a mistake. A huge mistake."
I spun on my heel and walked away from Zach as quickly as I could without
jogging.
"Ally!"
I reluctantly stopped, but did not turn around. Even when I heard Zach coming up
behind me.
"You forgot your purse," he said, thrusting it under my nose.
I took it, but couldn't even manage a simple "Thanks" before I broke into a run and left
him there on the sidewalk.
* * * *
I got back to the apartment just forty minutes after I left it, flustered and completely out
of breath. Bursting through the door, I scanned the living area for Kayly before I headed to
Mom's room, where I found her in her crib. Poor baby, I thought, scooping her up into my arms.
That's when I saw the tears clinging to her lashes and the snot running from her nose into her
mouth.
Incensed, I grabbed a tissue from the nearby box and cleaned her up, then headed down
the hall to locate the nanny who should've been doing that.
"Sylvie?" I called as I returned to the living area. "Where are you?"
I heard a door close at the back of the apartment. As I started in that direction, Sylvie
stepped into the hall from my bedroom. I stopped short.
"Oh, you're back early," she said in greeting. "I was just straightening up the place."
Though that might've been a nice thing to do in another apartment, Mom and I were
both too everything-in-its-place for it to be necessary in ours. My bedroom, in particular, didn't
need a stranger bumping around in it.
Without responding to Sylvie, I brushed past her into my room, which was furnished in
shades of red, purple and pink. I let my gaze rove the area and immediately noticed a drawer on
my oak dresser askew, with clothing hanging out of it. My gaze locked with that of Sylvie, who'd
followed me.
"Just putting away the clean things," she told me with a wide smile, even though we
both knew I'd already done that earlier today.
I didn't know quite how to respond. How could she look me in the eye and lie like that?
Then I saw what she had on: my favorite tee. A lavender one that said "Big Sisters Rock" in
sequins. While conceivably she could own such a tee--Mom bought it online, after all--I knew
without a doubt this one belonged to me. It had a slight tear in the neck band, the result of my
getting it tangled in an earring when pulling it over my head.
I attempted to blow the whole thing off. I really did. I mean, I'd let her try on my things
just that morning, after all. So I picked up her abandoned white T-shirt, which I now saw on the
carpet at the foot of my bed, and handed it to her. She immediately pulled off my tee and gave it
back, then slipped into her own. I folded and put it up before taking Kayly to Mom's room so I
could get another tissue.
That's when I smelled it.
Smoke.
Tobacco smoke.
I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it before...until I realized the source, Kayly, herself.
My little sister smelled like a freaking cigarette. I began to roam Mom's bedroom, which was
furnished in black and white. I picked up a zebra-striped throw pillow and sniffed it, then
smelled the sheer white curtains.
I whirled on Sylvie. "Have you been smoking in here?"
"Oh, God," she said, slapping her hand over her mouth. "I hoped I'd gotten the smell
out." She smiled. "Jack dropped by and lit up before I could stop him. I'm so, so sorry. I turned
on the ceiling fan to clear the air."
I glanced up and saw the fan turning.
"I thought it worked."
Uh-huh. "Why was your boyfriend in here?"
"I wanted him to meet your little sister."
Right. I glanced at the white bedspread, looking for any kind of sign that she'd lain on
the bed with her boyfriend...or worse. But it looked straight enough, and none of the pillows
were indented.
"Did you have a good time at McDonald's?" she asked with sickening cheerfulness.
Nice try, but it wasn't going to work. "Not really." I smelled Kayly again--her brown
hair, her peaches and cream skin, her yellow onesy. "Are you lying to me, Sylvie?" I asked,
surprising both of us. Though I almost always avoid confrontation, I'm good for it if my mood's
right. And boy, was it right today. "Because Kayly really stinks."
"I swear I'm telling the truth."
That's when I noticed that the jewelry box lid wasn't all the way closed, the way I'd so
carefully left it. That meant Sylvie had been poking around in it, too.
"You know," I said. "I don't think this is going to work out, after all. I'm going to call the
agency now. Please get your things and leave."
Sylvie's jaw dropped. "You're firing me?"
"Yes."
"But this is my first screw up."
"You thought you got more than one?" This wasn't three strikes and you're out.
Her cheeks flushed pink. Her gaze narrowed. She looked more than a little pissed, but I
just didn't care.
"I'm a damn good nanny."
I didn't answer.
"But a spoiled brat like you will never acknowledge that. You're too busy looking down
your nose at me."
"I want you out of here in ten minutes," I said, sitting on the bed so I could supervise
every move Sylvie made. At this point, I didn't trust her not to steal something of my Mom's out
of spite.
It took her eight of the ten to cram her clothes into her suitcase and another two to locate
her keys, which she finally remembered were on the bar in the kitchen and not in her purse. I
changed Kayly's diaper while she retrieved them. When she finally left in a huff after slapping
the apartment key into my hand, she slammed the door behind her.
That's when I let out a huge sigh of relief and collapsed on the couch with Kayly.
"I hate this!" I yelled to the ceiling, even though I was thankful things hadn't gotten any
uglier. Mom should never have gone off and left her baby to the care of a stranger, even one
recommended by the agency, and even with me to supervise. She just shouldn't have. Never
mind that she'd done it all my life. I wanted different for Kayly. I wanted normal.
Shaking my head, I picked up my cell and reviewed my most recently called numbers. I
found the agency's and called it. When Janet Adams answered, I told her what I'd done. Of
course, she offered to send out someone else. And, of course, I refused, telling her I'd watch
Kayly myself until Mom got back home, something I'd actually volunteered to do. I was days
away from eighteen, after all, and not working that summer. It was only going to be for
two-and-a-half weeks.