Yet here he was, physically sated and lying next to a beautiful woman who had no idea what she was getting into. Little did she know that his touch—his love—was the kiss of death.
Love?
The word echoed inside his head like a killing shot.
The thought frightened him more than facing down any killer. It frightened him because he knew what happened to the people he cared for. It was a truth he had accepted five years ago when he’d lost two people he would have given his own life to protect. Now he’d put Jess in the very same position.
How in the name of God had this happened?
“If you frown any harder your head is going to explode.”
He actually started at the sound of her voice. Turning slightly, he risked a look at her. She was propped on an elbow, her expression soft and amused. Her face was pale and lovely in the thin light filtering through the window. Her eyes were liquid and dark and moisture glistened on her full lips.
He wanted her. They’d made love twice and already he was hard and aching. He wished he could forget about the past so he could put his arms around her and make love to her until nothing else mattered in the world.
His conscience wouldn’t allow it. Besides, he had neither the luxury nor the freedom. Tonight he’d crossed a line he’d sworn he would never cross. Now the time had come for him to pay for his transgression.
“You should be sleeping,” he said.
He stiffened slightly when she snuggled against him, closing his eyes against the quick swipe of pleasure. Oh, how he wanted to reach for her and kiss her until they were both mindless with pleasure.
“You’re tense.”
“Yeah, well, in case you’ve forgotten there are a few people out there who’d like to see us both dead.”
He hadn’t meant the words to come out so harshly, but she was making him want her and that was ticking him off. What he had done went against everything he believed in.
“Madrid.”
He knew what was coming, so he didn’t acknowledge her. He didn’t even look at her, just continued staring at the ceiling, hoping he had the discipline to do the right thing and stay the hell away from her if she reached for him.
Too late.
“What happened five years ago?” she asked.
Madrid said nothing.
“Don’t shut me out.”
He did look at her then, drinking in the soft beauty of her face, the determination in her eyes. And he knew no matter how much he wanted her to, she wasn’t going to let this go. “I screwed up, Jess. I got two people I cared about killed.”
Sympathy scrolled across her features, but she didn’t look away. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. Me, too.”
“Why do you blame yourself?”
He sighed, closed his eyes briefly. “Because I’m the one who killed them.”
Jess felt the words like a brass-knuckle punch. Until an hour ago she’d had no idea Madrid had been married or that he’d been a father. He’d never spoken of his past. She couldn’t imagine the horrific pain of losing both a spouse and a child. Or the agony of blaming himself.
“How did it happen?”
Her instincts told her not to prod. She could plainly see that his pain was like an open wound. But Jess sensed this was something that had been festering inside him for a long time. Something he needed to get out so he could heal and, if he was lucky, move on with his life.
Lacing his hands behind his head, he lay back on the settee and looked up at the ceiling. “I was a hacker with the CIA back then.”
“A hacker?”
“I worked with encryption mostly.”
“Sounds fascinating.”
“It was boring for the most part, but I was into it. I was cocky.” He sighed. “Then along came a terrorist group known as Tiger Eye. The CIA intercepted some encrypted messages. Files sent via e-mail that were encrypted in graphic images. It was my job to find out what they were saying, what they were planning.” Another sigh slid from his lips. “This was pre 9/11. Security wasn’t as tight as it is now. Even though I was pretty much a peon working behind the scenes, someone inside the agency leaked my name. Someone from Tiger Eye got hold of it. They contacted me, threatened to kill me and my family if I broke their code to the CIA.”
“That must have been frightening.”
A bitter smile twisted his mouth. “It ticked me off mostly. But I was cocky back then. Too damn cocky. I went to my superior, told her everything. They put my wife and daughter in a protection program and I continued working on breaking the code.”
Another sigh slid from his lips. Only this time Jess thought she heard a quiver. “I got the call at just past three o’clock in the morning. Somehow the terrorists had found out where my family was hiding. Armed terrorists stormed the house in the middle of the night. Two CIA agents were killed and two more were critically wounded.”
“And your wife and daughter?”
“Shot execution-style.”
The images that forced their way into her head made Jess feel ill. For two innocent lives that were lost. For the grief and loss and guilt that must have fallen like a ton of bricks onto this man’s shoulders.
His gaze met hers. Something dark and determined glittered in their depths. “They recorded everything. Sent me the tape.” His jaw flexed. “They’d begged for their lives.”
His voice broke with the last word, but he quickly regrouped. “I’ve learned to take threats a hell of a lot more seriously.”
Jess didn’t have to ask what he was referring to. She knew the loss of his wife and daughter was the reason he wouldn’t use her as bait. She couldn’t blame him. But it didn’t change the situation they were in.
He winced when she reached out and set her palm against his face. “I’m so sorry.”
His jaw flexed. “Yeah.”
“Were the killers caught?”
“No.”
Another piece of the puzzle fell into place. Jess thought she was finally beginning to get a glimpse into
the man who’d kept himself so hidden away. The man who drove himself so relentlessly.
“Everyone I’ve ever cared for has ended up dead,” he said in a rough voice.
Her gaze snapped to his. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“My wife and child weren’t the only ones, Jess.”
She looked at him. A part of her didn’t want to hear what he was going to say next. Another part of her knew she must.
“A year ago a woman I cared for deeply was killed in a car accident. We’d argued. She took off.”
“Oh, Madrid.” Jess couldn’t imagine the grief of losing so much in such a short period of time. She stared at him, aware of hot tears building behind her eyes. For the first time the ferocity with which he’d forbidden her to help him nail the smugglers made sense.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered.
“What you’ve been through…it’s incredibly sad.”
“It is.” Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close. “If I’ve learned anything from this, it’s that life goes on. But you don’t ever take it for granted.” He pulled back just enough to make eye contact. “And you never take needless risks.”
She gazed back at him, hurting for him, for the hell he’d been through. “Some things are worth risking.”
“If you’re talking about putting yourself on the line, Jess, I’m not going to let you do it.”
That he cared and so readily admitted it made her chest swell. But Jess knew eventually she would have to make a decision. And that in doing so she would probably hurt him all over again.
“I have a confession to make,” she said, drawing away.
Madrid glanced at her and raised a brow. “You’re not going to shock me, are you?”
She smiled, but it felt forced. “I just want to be honest with you.”
“About what?”
“I’m not very good at…you know…this,” she blurted.
Madrid nodded, but his expression told her he hadn’t a clue what she was getting at. “You want to qualify that?”
“Relationships,” she said. “I was married for five years. It ended badly. The divorce was…messy.”
“That happens sometimes.”
“It was my fault, Madrid. The divorce, I mean. I just wasn’t good at…the whole relationship thing. In fact, I pretty much sucked at it.”
He set both hands against her cheeks and looked into her eyes. “Maybe
he
wasn’t good at it, Jess. Did you ever happen to think of that?”
“I’m impulsive,” she said. “I take risks. I do stupid things sometimes without considering other people’s feelings. I get angry and say things I don’t mean.”
He kissed the tip of her nose. “I could be way off base, but it sounds like you might be human.”
“I don’t want to screw this up.” She hadn’t meant to say it, but the words came out before she had time to think of the repercussions.
“Let met get this straight,” he said. “You’re not afraid to face down a bunch of cutthroat smugglers, but when it comes to me you want to turn tail and run?”
“That pretty much covers it.” She gave him a self-deprecating smile. “You scare me, Madrid.”
“I’m a pussycat.”
She laughed. A second later he joined her, and their laughter rang out, the sound of simple human joy.
Madrid sobered. “All I ask is that you stay out of this smuggling thing. Let me handle it.”
Because it was one promise she could not make, Jess lifted her mouth to his. When he resisted, she deepened the kiss.
“You don’t fight fair,” he muttered.
“No,” she agreed. “I don’t.”
Abruptly Madrid puller her against him and kissed her like a man possessed.
He took her to another precipice, higher and more powerful than the first. As Jess tumbled into another wild free fall, she tried hard not to think about what she would have to do come daylight.
M
ADRID WOKE
to the soft chirp of his cell phone. Groggy with sleep, he squinted at the lighted display and put it to his ear. “Madrid.”
“Mike…”
The sound of his brother’s voice made the hairs at his nape stand on end. “Matt? What’s wrong?”
A groan sounded, then his brother’s guttural voice said, “They have the boy. I tried to stop them, but…they shot me.”
The words sent an electric shock of fear through Madrid. He jumped to his feet, grabbed his jeans off the floor and stepped into them. “How bad are you hurt?”
“I took a bullet in the gut.” He groaned. “I’m bleeding like a pig.”
“Is there someone there who can help you?”
“Father Tom. He called an ambulance.”
Madrid closed his eyes. “When did this happen?”
“A few minutes ago.” Another groan. “Mike, these guys are bad news.”
Knowing all too well what the smugglers were capable of, Madrid squeezed his eyes closed. “Did they say anything?”
“They wanted Jess, too. Evidently they thought she was here.”
“Till the ambulance arrives I want you to get a towel, then lie down and put the towel over the wound.”
“Gotcha.”
“Hang tight, buddy.”
Madrid disconnected and stood there for a moment trying to pull himself together. He couldn’t believe the smugglers had found the church. He’d been so careful.
“What happened?”
He spun at Jess’s voice, turned to face her. He hated to tell her, but she needed to know. “They have Nicolas.”
Her hand went to her mouth. “Oh, God, no.”
As he quickly dressed, Madrid related everything his brother had told him. “I have to go.”
“I’m going with you.”
For the first time since his phone had rung, he gave her his full attention. “No.”
“It’s me they want.”
“And Nicolas.”
Sickened by the thought, Jess wrapped herself in a blanket and rose. “I can’t sit back and let them hurt that child. I made a promise to Angela.”
Madrid spun on her. His hands snaked out, grasped her arms and shook. “I can’t let them hurt you!” he roared. “For God’s sake, Jess, let me handle this!”
The fury behind his words stopped her; his fingers bit into her skin.
As if realizing he was holding her too tightly, he released her and took a step back. For several interminable seconds they stared at each other. Then Madrid shook himself as if waking from a terrible dream. He pulled a small device from the clip on his belt. “I’ve only got one weapon and I need to take it with me.” He shoved the device and his cell phone into her hands. “Take these.”
“What is this?” she asked, referring to the device.
“GPS. If anything happens, if you feel you’re in danger, hit the red button here.” He motioned to a small red button on the end of the device. “It’s programmed to put out what’s called a Code 99. All MIDNIGHT agents will be scrambled. A GPS signal will be activated simultaneously. You got that?”
“I got it.”
“Jess, don’t open the door for anyone but me. Is that clear?”
“Madrid—”
He cut her off. “If someone comes in through the front, you go out that back window and run for your life. You got that?”
Fear hit home with the words. Until this moment she’d felt safe. Maybe because she was with Madrid.
“I got it,” she said.
“Good girl.” He lifted his hand as if to touch her cheek, but changed his mind and dropped it. “I have to go.”
“Where?”
“The only place I can think of.” Giving her a final, hard look, he snagged his pistol off the counter, flung open the door and was quickly swallowed by darkness.
Chapter Sixteen
In less than five minutes Jess was bouncing off the walls. She couldn’t stop thinking about Nicolas. The little boy was in grave danger. The thought of how frightened and confused he must be tore her up inside. The realization that she’d let down her friend was unbearable.
“I’m sorry, Angela,” she whispered.
Jess paced the confines of the RV, feeling trapped and helpless and so frustrated she wanted to scream. She thought about Madrid, and frustration transformed quickly into worry. Armed only with a revolver and facing a dozen men armed with semiautomatic weapons, he didn’t stand a chance. Would he contact MIDNIGHT for backup? She couldn’t think of anyone else he would trust. Even if he did contact someone to watch his back, would they get there in time?
The thought of Madrid getting hurt—or worse—because he was too heroic to involve her tied her into knots. Everything they’d shared in the hours before he left came rushing back. The sadness in his eyes when he spoke of the past. The gentle brush of his touch. The
soft whisper of his voice. The heat in his eyes when he looked at her…