Only Uni (12 page)

“He’s okay with me, right?” Trish monitored Lex’s face closely. “He seemed okay with me the last time I talked to him. Water under the bridge, and all that.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Lex blinked and kept her eyes forward.

Trish spun one of the earrings on her left side. “I’m sincerely glad you guys are dating now. I don’t . . . like him anymore, you know.”

Lex’s face relaxed completely. “I know.” She turned a genuine smile at Trish. “I’m sure he’d be happy to introduce you around.”

“Great.”

A new church, a new adventure. Things were looking up.

She’d taken emergency precautions and gone to the bathroom before heading to her office. Was Spenser going to yell at her? Give her the cold shoulder? Pretend nothing happened?

“Um . . . hi.” Trish walked into their office on Monday morning.

“Hi.” He didn’t turn around from his computer.

She dropped her bag near her desk. “Had a good weekend?”

“Yeah.”

She started up her computer. Sat and stared at the screen while it booted up and did all kinds of time-consuming things. Her chair was already pushed back from her desk, so she peered around the cubicle partition at Spenser, who sat engrossed in some spreadsheet on his monitor.

She jiggled her leg. Sighed. “Spenser, I’m sorry — ”

“Look, can we — ”

She swiveled her chair and held his gaze. His face wasn’t mad or grumpy or disdainful, but he wasn’t happy with her, either. Well, not that she expected him to be actually happy, but she had been hoping for — what? A little warmer neutrality? More willingness to meet her halfway?

This was weird. She felt like she was trying to make up with a boyfriend after a fight, not reconcile after dissing her coworker.

Well, she wasn’t a coward. She straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Spenser, for assuming you weren’t Christian and yelling at you and everything. And for any ugliness between us, because we have to work together, and I think we do that well, and I want this project to succeed.”

He looked a little annoyed. Like she’d beaten him to the punch. She pushed down a quick blossoming of satisfaction in her heart — she was supposed to be nice.

“I’m sorry too. I should have told you instead of stringing you along.”

Aw, that was a sweet apology, although she couldn’t exactly tell him he was sweet — she’d had enough boyfriends to finally get that guys didn’t like being described with the same term as a chocolate croissant. She gave a wide smile. “Thanks. That’s nice of you to say that.”

How weird. Spenser looked a little dazed. Almost dazzled. No, that couldn’t be. Maybe he was confused. She didn’t think she’d used any weird words from her British historical romance novels.

She kept smiling, trying to ignore the silence stretching tighter and tighter. Before the rubber band snapped, she tilted her head and blinked rapidly. “Spenser?”

He started slightly. Funny, she didn’t think he was the type of guy to zone out. Of course, she zoned out a lot but she’d never met a guy who did that.

Her cell phone ring blasted through the small office. Saved by the bell. “Hello?”

“Hello, Trish.”

“Oh, hi Grandma.” She got that rolling-boil feeling in her stomach, the kind that usually came before a scolding. Why would she be calling?

“How are you doing?”

“Uh . . . fine.” Was there a polite way to ask Grandma to get to the point?

“How’s your mother?”

“She sounded better the last time I talked to her on the phone.” At least Trish hadn’t had to talk to her father. She didn’t think she could say anything civil to him just yet.

“I heard you needed an apartment.”

At last, that’s why Grandma had called. “No, my roommate’s just been . . . weird lately. What did you hear?”

“I was at Jennifer’s house when you called her.”

“My roommate is being really strange. I was just complaining to Jenn.”

“That’s why I’m calling. One of the apartments I’m renting vacated, and I had it completely remodeled. It’s in Mountain View, although not as near Castro Street as you are now.”

“I can’t afford to rent an apartment by myself, Grandma.”

She chuckled, which set off Twilight Zone music in Trish’s head. Grandma rarely laughed, and not often with that condescending tone to it. “I’ll give it to you rent free if you’d like.”

“Oh . . . That’s really nice of you, Grandma. But don’t you need the rent?”

“I’d do anything for one of my granddaughters.”

This was way too creepy. Grandma was rarely stern or demanding of Trish — at least, not like she was with Lex and Venus, but then again, they’d walk off a bridge if Grandma commanded them
not
to. Grandma was a savvy businesswoman — look how she’d taken over Grandpa’s bank after he passed away — and she never did something that would lose her money. Not without some kind of return.

How to phrase it so Grandma won’t be offended? “That’s so generous of you. But, uh . . . I can’t take it without doing something for you.”

“Oh, no, dear. You don’t need to do anything.” Grandma was so good at the not-sincere-but-obligatory-first-refusal, she made it sound as if she really didn’t want anything.

“No, I insist.” She pressed her hand to her stomach. The rolling boil had started erupting and overflowing.

“You don’t need to repay me, but there is something that would make me very happy.”

“I always want to please you, Grandma.” At least, that was true most of the time.

“You’re not dating anyone right now, are you?”

“No.”

“It would make me so happy to see you together again with Kazuo.”

“What?!”

“He’s such a nice boy. He told me he’s so sorry for the argument that made you break up with him.”

“I broke up with Kazuo because he wanted to imprison me in his art studio.”

Spenser suddenly fumbled and dropped his calculator with a clatter. She turned to peer at him. “Is it okay? Do you need to use mine?”

“No, I’m good.” He didn’t look up at her.

Her cell phone crackled. “What? Trish, who are you talking to?”

“My coworker. Grandma, I don’t want to get back together with him.”

“You’re so melodramatic. No one actually imprisons people. You’ve been reading too many of those scary books.”

“No, that’s Jenn. I read romances.”

“Oh, the ones with all the sex in them.”

“No! Grandmaaaaa — ”

“Kazuo says he can’t live without you. Isn’t that romantic?”

It was. But without his powerful presence to cloud her brain, she could remember his impassioned rages, the way he wanted to control her, possess her. She couldn’t put all the blame on him for wanting to sleep with her, because she’d gone more or less willingly into that, but his moodiness, the pagan way he worshipped his art, and his tendency to force her free spirit to adopt his loner qualities had made him seem like a stranger in her bed. “Grandma, he and I don’t really suit each other.”
Now that’s an understatement.
But she wasn’t about to admit the truth to Grandma because she wouldn’t understand.

“I think you suit each other very well.” Grandma’s tone had hardened. “You know I only want what’s best for you.”

Why couldn’t things go back to the way they were before? Grandma had always been pleased with Trish, primarily because of all Trish’s boyfriends — well, except for the one with the belly button ring. Trish had never said no to Grandma for anything. Why was Grandma wanting something from her that she couldn’t give? Why was she demanding this when Trish was earnestly trying to do the right thing for once?

“Grandma, you know I’d do anything for you — ”

“Then why not this one thing for your Grandma?” The chiding voice made Trish seem like such an unreasonable child for refusing. “Do you know how much he loves you and wants you back?”

“Yes, I know he wants me back, but I can’t.”

“What do you mean, you can’t?” There was a razor edge to her voice.

“I just can’t.”
I won’t
. But she wasn’t about to tell that to Grandma. Here was her chance for rule number three with Grandma. “I’m trying to be devoted to God — ”

“God? What does God have to do with a boyfriend?”

“God will help me find a nice Christian boy.” Even to her own ears, that sounded rather stupid. She thought she heard a snort from Spenser. He wasn’t listening, was he?

“It always comes back to your religion. You put your God over your family. That’s shameful.” Her tone sliced into Trish with jagged edges. Grandma had never been so openly against Trish’s beliefs before.

“I love my family. God is going to lead the right boy to me, and the whole family will like him.” If all her crazy relatives didn’t make him run away screaming.

“What if Kazuo is the right boy for you, and you’re pushing him away?”

“Kazuo is not the right boy for me — ”

“Are you sure you’re listening to
your God
correctly?”

Trish had to unclench her jaw to answer her. “Yes, I’m listening to God — ”

“You are disappointing your grandma.”

Uh, oh. Grandma was talking about herself in the third person. Bad sign. “I don’t want to disappoint you, but — ”

“Grandma would be so much happier if you got back with Kazuo. Grandma will be terribly upset if you don’t listen to her.”

Trish’s heartbeat did double-time with her breathing. She’d never had to defy Grandma. Never. But Grandma had also never asked her to do something so impossible.

“I can’t.” She barely heard her own voice. She wondered if Grandma heard her, if she’d have to repeat it. She tried to swallow but something big and sticky had lodged in her throat.

Grandma had good hearing. “Trish, Grandma is . . . You’ve hurt Grandma a great deal.”
Click.

She actually hung up on her. Trish stared at the phone in her hand.

Her hands shook. She shoved them into her lap. Well, she’d done it. Defied her grandmother. Lightning didn’t strike her dead, but then again, since she defied Grandma in order to please God, she didn’t really think He’d do any more bad things to her. God was happy with her new determination, right? Even if she alienated the most powerful person in her large extended family.

“You okay?” Spenser’s quiet voice soothed her raw emotions.

She glanced at him. His eyes were soft with concern.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She bit her lip and flickered her gaze to the phone. She attempted a smile. “Pushy grandmas.”

He followed her lead. “Tell me about it. Chinese ones are just as bad.”

“She’s never attacked my faith before.” It came out on a whispered breath. Why did she say that? Spenser wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t be mean, but she’d feel like a dork.

“Family’s hardest.”

“Huh?”

He turned to make eye contact with her. “Friends usually flow with it when you become Christian, but sometimes family members don’t know how to handle it. Sometimes they feel betrayed.”

“But I’ve been Christian a long time. Since college.”

“Long enough for them to realize it’s not just a phase. Could be they’re afraid you’re going to start preaching at them.”

“Now? After almost ten years?”

Spenser shrugged and turned his attention back to his computer, but a bitterness had hardened his expression. “They’re more afraid of what they’ll feel if you do.”

Why would Grandma feel afraid?

TEN

I
ntrovert, she was not.

The thought of an entire new church was a little intimidating, but she may as well attack it with gusto, get the unpleasant part of being the new girl in the pew over with as soon as possible.

Aiden met her at the door to his church on Sunday. His half-smile wasn’t cool — that was just Aiden. When he’d been her physical therapist, his expressionless face always drove her nuts and made her want to shake him up. She could admit now that pursuing him and asking him out — and getting soundly rejected — probably wasn’t the smartest thing she could have done.

Things were okay now, though. She hoped. She hadn’t actually spent any time with him since he’d started dating her cousin Lex.

“Hi.” She gave him her brightest smile.

He remained unmoved. “Hi.”