Chapter 9
“T
oni. Toni, sweetheart.”
Toni was pulled from her sleep by the light, musical voice calling her name. Her eyes fluttered open reluctantly, to find a pair of beautiful copper ones staring back at her lovingly.
“Momma?”
Her mother smiled, her eyes lighting up at the sound of Toni's voice. Warmth flooded through Toni at the feel of her mother's hand against her cheek. She felt her heart lurch and tears spring to her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but her mother was already standing up from the edge of the bed.
“Wait,” Toni said desperately as she sat up quickly.
Still smiling, her mother stopped at the doorway and looked back at Toni. Her eyes beckoned her daughter to her. Slipping out of bed, Toni heeded her mother's call and followed her into the hallway.
By the time she turned the corner, her mother was already on the stairs, her long, curly jet black hair floating lightly behind her as she made her way downstairs. Toni stumbled as she tried to move faster to catch up with her mother, the grogginess of sleep still wrapped tightly around her every facet.
Light streamed generously into the kitchen Toni had grown up in. Something smelled good, like fresh, hot pancakes, with strawberry syrup ladled all over them. Toni's stomach growled noisily. She looked around the kitchen from the bottom of the stairs. The griddle was hot, with two freshly poured pancakes working away on it. Another stack sat invitingly on the counter with the syrup bottle only a stretch away. The radio on the counter that always stayed tuned to Praise 97.5 was streaming gospel hits into the kitchen. But her mother was nowhere to be seen. It was as if she had just poured the batter, and then gone to do something else quickly before it was time to flip them.
“Momma?”
Toni walked slowly through the kitchen, then out into the dining area, the music fading away behind her. The room was spotless like it always was. Pictures of Toni and Trey hung on the wall behind the dining table. There were also a couple of her parents together, and a large family picture from when Toni was twelve. She grimaced. They really should take another one of those.
She heard shuffling in the living room and quickly moved toward it.
“Momma!”
Why was her mother not answering her? It was irritating. She was about to call out again when she tripped over something. She grabbed the edge of the living room chair to keep from falling, and looked down for the offending object.
“Oh God!”
Her blood ran ice cold in her veins when she saw the feet of her father. She began to shake as her gaze traveled up his form to his chest, the point where his body met the pool of his blood lying on the floor. It soaked through his shirt, turning the white fabric a disturbing shade of bright red.
Oh God. Her father was dead.
She couldn't breathe, and her head began to feel light. She gripped the back of the recliner for support but she felt her body begin to give way. At the first sob, she felt gentle arms wrap around her.
“It's okay,” her mother breathed soothingly into her ear. “It's okay, honey, it's okay.”
Toni buried her head against her mother's chest and began to cry. Wetness soaked the front of her shirt. She looked down and began to shriek when she saw the blood staining her mother's dress. Where did that come from?
“Momma, you're bleeding!”
Her mother stepped back and looked down at the wound in her abdomen as if seeing it for the first time. Her eyes saddened and then she looked up at Toni.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered.
Toni looked at her in a mix of confusion and fear. “Momma, whaâ”
There was a loud explosion and Toni's body jerked as she felt unimaginable pain slice through her shoulder, and radiate through the rest of her body.
Â
Toni screamed and sat up in bed, a cold sweat trickling down her back and dampening her forehead.
She grabbed her left shoulder to feel for the injury, but there was nothing there. Even the scar had faded.
“It was just a dream,” she repeated to herself over and over. “Just a dream.”
But it had felt so real. She had smelled her mother's perfume as she hugged her. The one that smelled like a cross between amber, vanilla, and brown sugar. The one that Toni still wore every day. She had felt the warmth of her mother's arms around her, the stickiness of her blood against her fingers. And the pain. The pain had been so real that Toni almost seemed to have a lingering sensation of it even now, when she was sure she was awake.
Toni looked over at her bedside clock. 2:20 a.m. She sighed and ran her hands through her sweat-dampened hair. She had barely been asleep two hoursâeven less than the time she had been asleep the previous night, before a similar nightmare had awakened her. It seemed like they had intensified since Jasmine's little announcement a week ago.
Toni crawled out of bed and padded barefoot through her apartment to the kitchen. She didn't turn on the lights. The moon cast a stream of light through the living room that was bright enough.
She opened the fridge, poured herself a glass of homemade ginger beer, and took a long sip, letting the scorching liquid shock the last of her senses back to reality. With the last few drops came the inherent knowledge that she would not get anymore sleep that night. She walked back into the living room and powered on her laptop, which was sitting on the tiny desk pushed up against the wall. If she was going to be up, she might as well get something done.
She pulled up the story she'd drafted on Jerome and reread it. She shook her head. That kid had had a tough life. When he got arrested he was suspended from school, and essentially from his mother's house. There had been nowhere for him to go. He had been completely alone, at the mercy of a system that didn't care much about black peopleâespecially black boys from the projects. She knew how that feltâthe being-alone-and-at-the-mercy-of-the-system part. It was no wonder Jerome had mistrusted her initially.
Toni opened up her work e-mail in-box and scanned through the seventy-plus unread e-mails. Most of them were spam. But there were a few that caught her eye. Halfway down the list she saw one from Patricia Kentie. Tricia was a second-year student at Emory's School of Law who sometimes did research for Toni. Because of her legal connections, Patricia could often get hold of information that Toni didn't have access to.
She opened the e-mail and sat up a little straighter when she read the contents:
Hey, Toni:
Â
You asked me to find out what I could about the legal arrangements between Jacob's House and the city. I've attached a couple documents on the initiation of the project from its pilot days and how the city's been supporting it over the years. I had no idea this place had been around so long, and I'm guessing you didn't either. It actually opened up more than twenty years ago with about ten kids, and has been expanding since. Anyway, I'll leave you to read all the juicy details yourself.
I've also done a check on all the staff. Everything looks normal, but I am still waiting for some info on Adam Bayne. I got something else for you, though, that will make your toes curl. Check out the attached list of all the people who've gone through Jacob's House. You might recognize a few names. ;)
Â
Tricia
Toni ignored all the other files attached and went straight for the list. It was more than two pages long with almost one hundred names. It included not only the dates when each person entered and left the program, but also a note on what each person was doing currently. That column was the most interesting for Toni. A broad smile lit across her face when she saw the name Silver Maxwell halfway down the list. Jackpot. Tricia was definitely going to get a bonus for this.
Satisfied with her find, Toni began to go through the rest of the research, which though not nearly as interesting as the first document, was just as enlightening. After forty-five minutes of just reading, Toni stretched and walked around the room. Then she sat back down and pulled up a new document.
Her fingers flew across the keyboard as she typed. She had initially planned to write a technical piece on how Jacob's House operated as a supporting institute of the Atlanta Justice System, but somewhere along the way it became more of a historical feature piece, outlining the start of the institution and the many great men of Atlanta who had passed through its doors. She included a number of the names of persons on Tricia's list whose stories she knew personally, except for the parts about Jacob's House. She already planned to try to score an interview with a few. Her mind began to spin at light speed as she thought of all that could come from this one piece. This could be an opportunity for funding for Jacob's House. That could help them increase their capacity, hire more staff, fix their aging roof and edifice.
Toni couldn't wait to tell Adam about it. He would be thrilled. And it would score her some Brownie points so that he would maybe do that interview with her. It turned out that Jacob's House wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. In fact, she was almost getting attached to the place.
When she finally stopped typing and looked up, it was quarter to five. She got up and stretched again, this time walking over to the kitchen for something to drink. As she sipped on another glass of ginger beer, the mail on the table caught her eye. Flipping through, she tossed the bills she had paid into the trash, while sticking the ones that had just come in the day before on the fridge. At the bottom of the pile she came across a pink envelope with her name neatly printed on it. Without opening it she knew what it was.
Jasmine's baby shower invitation.
Her jaw tightened as she opened the envelope and scanned the contents. She wanted to toss the whole thing into the bin. But she knew her brother would call about it sooner or later. And if he asked, she knew she would have to show upâeven if she didn't want to. Darn that connected-by-blood thing.
She sighed and glanced at the date again. It was set for the end of June. Her eyes popped open. It was set for the end of June! And if she was already away, on something more important than a baby shower, then she couldn't go, and she would get no guilt trip from her brother, or even Afrika. She smiled as her plan formed in her mind. Maybe a week with the boys wouldn't be so bad after all. It would also mean a week with Adam, but quite frankly, he was the lesser of two evils.
She shook her head as she walked back to her bedroom to change into her running gear. It looked like Adam would get his way after all.
Chapter 10
“O
kay, I'll do it.”
Looking up from Romario's homework assignment, Adam saw Toni leaning against the doorway of the empty classroom. Though she was all business in a sleek gray suit, her eyes were red and he could see creases in her forehead from where her brow must have been furrowed. She looked exhausted.
“Who's that?” Romario asked, nodding toward her.
Instead of answering, Adam handed Romario the pencil. “Finish this up, doing what I showed you, and then leave it on my desk. I'll look it over and get back to you before curfew tonight.”
The thirteen-year-old nodded, but still watched Toni curiously.
“So you gonna tell me what I have to do, or do I need to research that too?” Toni asked impatiently.
Adam stood up, his jaw tightening. For some reason she seemed more annoyed with him than usual. He could already tell that her attitude was going to be a joy.
“Romario, stay here and do what I said.”
“Yes, boss,” Romario answered.
Adam turned toward Toni. “Let's take a walk.”
She rolled her eyes but followed him anyway. She didn't speak and neither did he, until they were outside Jacob's House.
“Where are we going?” she finally asked as she followed him toward the sidewalk.
“To a place where you're calm enough for me to have a conversation with you,” Adam threw behind him.
“And where is that?”
“However far we have to walk for you to calm down.”
Toni hissed her teeth and stopped walking. “This is stupid,” she said stubbornly.
“Is it?”
She scowled and turned to walk away. “You know what? I've changed my mind. Forget I even came by.”
Adam grabbed her arm before she could take a step. She pulled away but he grabbed it again. This time she didn't pull away. In fact, she stopped walking, seemingly surprised at his persistence.
“What?” Irritation still laced her voice.
“You tell me,” Adam said, frowning in concern. “What's going on with you?”
“Nothing.”
“Really,” he said suspiciously. “Because last week I couldn't pay you to go to Mississippi but now you're volunteering to do it. What's with the sudden change of heart?”
Toni pursed her lips. “Guess I got really desperate for that story.”
Adam narrowed his eyes at her curiously, seeing through her hostility. “No,” he said after a moment. “It's more than that.”
“It isn't,” Toni said.
“You're lying,” Adam said simply.
“How do you know?”
“Because I live with teenage boys who lie to me every day. I know what it looks like.”
Adam watched as Toni deflated a little before him, the fight seeping out of her like a balloon with a leak.
“Does this have something to do with Jasmine's baby shower?” he asked.
“Why would you ask that?”
“Your brother told me you got into a fight about it this morning.”
“Do you guys talk about everything?” Toni asked incredulously. “You're worse than girls.”
“You didn't answer my question,” Adam said, ignoring her tangent. “Is this because of the drama between you and Jasmine?”
“No.” She folded her arms stubbornly. He peered at her and she sighed. “Maybe.” When he kept staring, she rolled her eyes. “Why does it matter anyway?”
“Because I don't want you to do this because you're mad at Jasmine,” he said. “ 'Cause next week when you're not mad at her anymore, you'll back out again.”
He trained his eyes on her to make sure she understood. “You want to bail on me? That's fine. But these boys are depending on you. If you say you're going to do this, you've got to do this for real. One hundred percent. No halfway. It has to be for the boys.”
Adam watched Toni chew on her lip. He knew he was taking a risk in even considering letting her come along. And even as he stood there watching her contemplate what he said, he couldn't help but contemplate whether this was really what God wanted him to do.
“Is Jerome going?” she asked.
Adam nodded. “Yes.”
She looked down at the ground for a moment, then back at Adam. “Okay.” Adam caught the resolution in her eyes as she spoke. “I'll do it. I'll go. For real.”
“You sure?”
“I'm sure.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “I like Jerome. He's kinda grown on me.”
Adam stared at her for a moment, to make sure she was serious. “Okay,” he finally said.
“Okay,” she echoed. They started walking down Winslow Street, away from Jacob's House.
“So you gonna tell me what I have to do?” she asked after they had been walking for a bit.
“Only if you tell me what that Jerry Springer moment at Trey's the other night was about.”
She didn't miss a beat. “None of your business.”
“Okay,” Adam said, not fazed. “Maybe tell me then why you're so exhausted.”
Adam expected her to give another dismissive response. But when she paused a bit before answering, he glanced over at her. She was biting her lip again. That was her giveawayâthe thing she always did before she went and did something totally out of character. Like answer honestly.
“I have trouble sleeping.”
Adam's brow furrowed. “Why?”
Toni shrugged. “I just do,” she said. “I never really sleep through the night.”
That would explain a lot of things. Like why she was on edge all the time.
“Has it always been like that?” he asked.
Toni kicked a twig off the sidewalk with her shoe. “Not always, but for long enough. Ever since ...”
She paused as she seemed to rethink what she was going to say. “Just a really long time.”
Adam wasn't quite sure how to respond. He didn't know much about Toni. She was Trey's sister, and he had been best friends with Trey for almost four years. You would have thought they would have met at some point during that time. But Adam had come to realize that Trey and Toni lived extremely different lives. They were also both very private persons. He knew their parents had died some time ago, but Trey rarely ever talked about it. And on the few occasions that he did talk about it, he made little reference to his sister. The only thing he said was that it had changed them bothâbut it had affected her more than him. In fact, according to Trey, Toni was a lot different now than she was when they were growing up.
As Adam watched the sullen woman walking beside him, he couldn't help but wonder what she had been like before.
“That sucks,” Adam said. He immediately wished he could take the words back. What kind of stupid response was that?
Toni smiled. “Really eloquent, Mr. Bayne. I couldn't have put it better myself.”
He smiled ruefully and rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “I couldn't think of anything else to say.”
“I get it,” Toni said, slipping her hands into the pockets of her slacks. “You don't really understand, but you're afraid that if you press me any further I'll rip your head off.”
He snuck a glance at her and saw the smile playing at the corner of her lips. “Yeah, pretty much,” Adam said sheepishly.
They both laughed and Adam felt the tension ease.
He suddenly realized that they were quite a ways away from Jacob's House. In fact, they had walked so far that they were almost at the bottom of the street where Winslow ended in a cul-de-sac. He was about to suggest they turn back when Toni stopped suddenly.
“What?” he asked, looking at her curiously.
“Isn't that Rasheed?” she asked, nodding to a point at the end of the road. Adam followed Toni's eyes to the park just beyond where the cul-de-sac ended. Two figures were standing under a tree, a few feet back from the road. He squinted a little and saw that it was indeed Rasheed.
“What's he doing down there?” Adam asked, taking a few steps further. He was almost sure the other person Rasheed was with was a girl from his high school. He had spotted the girl near Jacob's House a couple times before.
Toni grinned, her eyes still fixed on Rasheed and his female friend. “I think he's getting his game on,” she said mischievously.
Adam shook his head. “I don't think so.” He stepped forward.
Toni grabbed his arm before he could get far. “Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get Rasheed,” he said. “He has no business hanging out alone with that girl like that.”
He began to move forward again, but Toni pulled him back, this time with even more force. He raised an eyebrow, surprised at the amount of strength in her deceptively tiny hands.
“Come on, Adam.” She tilted her head to the side. “Don't you think you're overreacting? Rasheed is a kid! You think he's gonna jump her bones out here in broad daylight? Cut him some slack.”
Adam was on the verge of thinking that he had indeed overreacted, until he turned around again and saw Rasheed and his female companion making out against the treeâin broad daylight.
Toni's eyebrows arched in surprise. “Whoa, Rasheed, didn't know you had it like that.”
Adam felt his jaw tighten. “Guess he's bolder than we both thought.”
But before he could move off again, Toni jumped in front of him and placed both hands on his chest, blocking him from Rasheed and his antics.
“Toni!” he growled. “This is not a game.”
“I know.” She gently pushed against his chest, causing him to back up. “But remember how you told me I needed to calm down a couple minutes ago? Well, now you need to calm down. If you go charging down there like the infantry, disrespecting Rasheed in front of his girl, he's gonna hate you. And then you won't be able to get him to do anything.”
Adam glowered angrily. She had a point, but he still wasn't happy about what was going on.
“So what am I supposed to do?” He glanced behind her at Rasheed, who was still going at it. “I can't just leave him there.”
“No.” Toni turned him around gently and pulled him forward toward Jacob's House. “Does he have a cell phone?”
“Yes.”
“So call him.” She made it sound like the most obvious thing in the world. “Tell him he needs to be at the house in the next five minutes and then you talk to him when he gets there.”
Adam frowned, but pulled out his cell phone and made the call anyway, even as Toni slipped her arm into his and lead him back up Winslow toward the house. By the time he hung up, they were crossing the yard onto the basketball court behind Jacob's House. They were too far away for Adam to see if Rasheed had made a move. But the mere fact that Rasheed had actually answered the phone when Adam called was a good sign. Maybe Toni knew something about kids after all.
“See? Everything's working out fine.” She dropped Adam's arm once he had calmed down. Adam immediately missed the warmth of her touch.
“We'll see, once he shows up.” He opened the door and let Toni walk in ahead of him.
“He'll show up,” Toni said confidently as they walked back to his office. Adam didn't say anything. He wondered how she could be so sure when he wasn't.
He pulled a couple of forms from his desk and handed them to Toni with instructions for her to fill them out and bring them back to him as soon as possible. She tucked them carefully into her huge oversized purse before turning to leave. She was almost at the door when she turned back to look at him.
“What?” he asked, after a moment when she didn't say anything.
She sighed. “Are you sure you want me to do this?”
“Are you trying toâ”
“No, I'm not trying to back out,” Toni said, holding up her hand. “But come on, Adam, you already know what I'm like. I'm not really good at following rules and I prefer to do things my way. Are you sure you're willing to take that for seven days?”
Adam shrugged and looked down, shuffling the papers on his desk. He had thought about everything she had said more than a few times. He would be lying if he said he wasn't anxious about putting this no-holds, no-limits woman in charge of kids who more than anything else needed holds and limits. But even though she hadn't been around the boys at Jacob's House that long, they seemed to have taken a liking to her. Plus there was that feeling that he had that he was supposed to ask her.