Read One Way or Another Online
Authors: Rhonda Bowen
One Way or Another (27 page)
Chapter 36
I
sabel Alexandra Shields came screaming into the world at 2:45 a.m. on Friday morning after eight hours of labor. Toni thought she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, but she was too exhausted to be sure. After kissing her brother and sister-in-law good-bye, she headed into the lobby with dreams of her bed on her mind. That was when she remembered she had come in Adam's car.
sabel Alexandra Shields came screaming into the world at 2:45 a.m. on Friday morning after eight hours of labor. Toni thought she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, but she was too exhausted to be sure. After kissing her brother and sister-in-law good-bye, she headed into the lobby with dreams of her bed on her mind. That was when she remembered she had come in Adam's car.
After their disagreement over him leaving, she had spent most of the late night and early morning avoiding him. It wasn't that hard. Northside was a huge hospital. And once news of Jasmine's delivery had spread around, a lot of other people, like the pastor's wife, Camille, Afrika, and a few relatives of Jasmine had shown up. Many others had come and gone through the night. But now that the show was officially over, the crowd had begun to thin out, and Toni's options were few.
“Hey, you ready to go?”
It was Adam.
“Uh, actually I was just going to get a cab,” she said, already moving toward the huge glass doors. “I figured you might still be mad at me.”
Something she couldn't read flashed across his face, but was quickly replaced. Toni didn't like the new blank look. At least when he was upset she could see some kind of fire in his eyes. But now the eyes she loved to lose herself in were cold and still, giving her nothing.
“There's no need for that,” he said. “I'll take you home.”
She noticed he didn't say he wasn't mad.
“Really, Adam, it's not a big deal,” Toni said, already glancing at the door.
“Toni, it's almost three a.m.” Frustration. At least she had managed to evoke something. “There is no way I am letting you climb into a cab at this time of morning.”
“She can ride with me,” Afrika said, appearing out of nowhere. “I'm headed that way anyway.”
Toni breathed a sigh of relief. She was never so happy to see her friend in her whole life. Adam looked back and forth between Afrika and Toni. He frowned a little, but shoved his hands in his pockets tiredly and headed toward the doors without further protest.
“Good night, ladies,” he threw behind him.
Toni watched him, until the darkness swallowed him up and she could no longer make out his form. She wanted to run after him. Put her arms around him. But instead she stayed rooted in the lobby.
“Okay. Let's move,” Afrika said, digging her keys out of her purse. “You can explain in the car.”
They managed to get out of the parking lot and onto the main road before Afrika began her interrogation. “Spill it.”
“Adam and I had a fight,” Toni said. She decided to leave out the part about him kissing her. She wasn't ready to talk about that yet.
“No joke.” Afrika smirked. “What happened?”
Toni sighed and turned toward the window. “He's leaving Jacob's House.”
“Word?”
“Yeah,” Toni said. “He got an offer to head up a similar project in Baltimore and he's thinking about going.”
Afrika let out a whistle.
“I can't believe he's doing this, Afrika,” Toni said. She could feel herself getting annoyed. “It's so irrational.”
“And I'm guessing you pretty much let him know that, right?”
Toni pouted. “Just barely. I hardly got a word out before he started going off on me. He actually accused me of not wanting him to be with his family. Me. The one who lost her family and knows what it's like to be without them.”
When Afrika didn't say anything, Toni turned to look at her. “What? You think I was wrong?” Toni asked.
Afrika shrugged. “Hey, the two of you have been tight for a good minute. You know him better than I do, but what would be so bad about him helping the kids in Baltimore like he's doing here?”
“Nothing,” Toni said with a sigh. “I just feel like ... like maybe he's going because of everything that happened here with his story in the news. It's almost as if he's running.”
“Did you tell him that part?”
“Like I said, I barely got a word in.”
“Then you gotta holler at him again,” Afrika said. “Give him some time to cool off and then go talk to him. When there's feelings involved it's easy for things to get outta control.”
Toni's eyes widened. “Who said I have feelings for him?”
Afrika rolled her eyes. “Seriously, T?” Afrika asked with a laugh. “The two of you are so hot for each other you're about to burn the rest of us up with your heat.”
Toni shook her head vehemently. “That's crazy.”
“Nah, girl, what's crazy is him setting up camp at your bedside when you were in the hospital,” Afrika said. “Crazy is you flying across the country to try and stop him from going to jail... .”
“Baltimore is hardly across the country,” Toni said dryly.
“... And don't forget that ten-hour trip to pick him up when he got out of jail. I ain't never done that for no brotherânot even when it was good like that.”
“Trey asked me to go with him... .”
Afrika laughed. “All right, girl. Stay in denial. But I've seen you two together, and from the way you been eyein' a brother, I wouldn't be surprised if you were already in loâ”
“Don't even think it,” Toni said quickly, knowing exactly where her friend was going. It was impossible. There was no way that she could be in love with Adam.
Absolutely no way.
Now if she could only get her rapidly beating heart to believe that.
Â
When Adam stepped into Pastor Reynolds's office on Wednesday morning for their weekly meeting, he already knew exactly what he was going to say.
“This is probably going to be one of our last meetings,” he began before Pastor Reynolds could even get a word in. “I've decided to take the position in Baltimore.”
Pastor Reynolds straightened a few files on his desk before acknowledging Adam. “I'm glad you could make it this early,” he said after a moment, glancing at the clock on the wall to his left. “I know seven a.m. is a bit unreasonable, but I also know you have long days, and I figured you could get this out of the way. I was just going through my morning devotions. You mind joining me?”
Adam knew the man of God well enough to know that he had heard his statement about leaving. But Pastor Reynolds had the patience of the saints, and he wouldn't get to it until he was good and ready. Or until God told him it was time. And so Adam nodded and followed Pastor Reynolds's tall former-NBA-PLAYER frame over to the side of the huge office where there was a small sofa and two armchairs surrounding a coffee table.
“Where are you reading from today?” Adam asked.
Pastor Reynolds didn't do devotional books. According to him, God's Word was so rich that you could read the same chapter every day and get something new from it every time.
“Today I've been reading First Chronicles,” Pastor Reynolds said, choosing the armchair that already had the Bible open in front of it.
“I thought you were just done going through the book of Second Samuel?” Adam asked, making himself comfortable in the other chair. “Isn't it pretty much the same thing?”
Pastor Reynolds chuckled. “It covers the same period, but it's not the same. The perspective is different. Besides, you know David is one of my favorite Old Testament brothers.”
Adam nodded. He knew that was true.
“I'm in chapter seventeen, where David tells God he's going to build the temple for him,” Pastor Reynolds said. “After all, God had done so much for David. He had brought him a mighty long way. He had forgiven David for all the evils in his past. And David wanted to do this great thing to honor Him. Even Nathan the prophet thought it was a good idea.”
“But God said no,” Adam said, already familiar with the story.
Pastor Reynolds nodded. “That's right. He sent the prophet Nathan back to King David, to let him know that the building of the temple wasn't his work to do. It was to be left to his son Solomon.
“I especially love verse sixteen. After David's request is denied he doesn't sulk like a child. He goes to God and says, âWho am I, O God, and what is my house that You have brought me so far.' He humbles himself and accepts God's decision. Even though it must have disappointed himâeven though it must have frustrated him to have all the wealth and resources but not the permission to buildâhe received God's message with gratitude and went on to renew his covenant with God.”
Pastor Reynolds paused and shook his head. “I don't know if I could have taken it as well as David. It's like me wanting to build a bigger Immanuel Temple over in the southeast and God saying, âNo, Reynolds. That's not for you.' Building a temple is a good thing. How could God be against something like that?”
Adam knew where Pastor Reynolds was going.
“But you know what I realized when I read this? It's about letting God choose our work. If we are going to claim to be totally submitted to God, we have to be just that, totally submitted. We have to remember that our ways are not His ways. And sometimes, He refuses our seemingly noble intentions because they aren't best for us and for His cause.
“It's a hard lesson for many of us to learn, but sooner or later we must. Especially those of us in ministry. Not everything benevolent that we want to do for God is ordained by God.”
“Me going to Baltimore is not like that,” Adam said stubbornly, his brow furrowing.
“I didn't say anything about Baltimore,” Pastor Reynolds said, sitting back. “I was just sharing my morning devotions.”
“But you were thinking it.” Adam frowned. “I don't understand. I thought you thought me helping with this project was a good idea.”
“I do,” Pastor Reynolds said calmly. “But helping with the project and moving to Baltimore to head it up are two different things.”
“But I know all about it,” Adam insisted. “Plus the experience of being at Jacob's House gives me a practical advantage to helping it work well.”
“I am sure it does.”
“Baltimore is my home,” Adam argued.
“That's true too.”
Adam sighed when he realized he was running out of explanations. “I've done all I can do here in Atlanta,” he said, looking down at his hands. “I have nothing left to offer these boys.”
Pastor Reynolds said nothing, and Adam knew he was waiting for the rest. He always had a way of pulling every last bit of truth out of the core of Adam's being.
Adam stared across the office at the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves without really seeing any of it. “You were right three years ago when you told me to go deal with my issues in Baltimore,” he said after a moment. “I didn't do that right away. Now I feel like maybe I'm not the kind of leader these boys need anymore. I have nothing left to teach them.”
“You can teach them it's never too late to take ownership of your past,” Pastor Reynolds said, sitting forward. “You took responsibility for your mistakes. You might have taken a long time to do it, but you did it. That's a powerful lesson for young men to learn.”
Adam's stomach was in knots. He was starting to feel unsure about his decision and he hated that.
Pastor Reynolds continued. “In the past few weeks you have faced up to what happened. You've been upfront and honest with the boys, with the church, and with the world. These boys need to learn how to do that. All of them have tarnished pasts. And even if they clean up and become amazing men, one day, someone's going to throw that tarnished past back in their faces. They have to learn how to deal with that. Do you want them to learn how to acknowledge their past and show that they are changed? Or do you want them to learn that they should change locations every time their past comes to the surface? Should they find a new job every time a coworker finds out they were convicted of a crime? Should they abandon every relationship once their criminal history becomes known? What about their children? Should they hide who they used to be from them?” Pastor Reynolds let out a long breath and shook his head.
“Adam, this is still about honesty and personal responsibility. Running every time your past comes up is the same as hiding from it.”
“I'm not running,” Adam said strongly. He was tired of everyone implying that he was. “I'm going back to Baltimore, to the place where all my mess happened. How is that running?”
“Your face was never on the front of a newspaper in Baltimore,” Pastor Reynolds said. “Plus all those years ago when you lived in Baltimore you weren't ashamed about being a criminal. You weren't in touch with Christ yet. You didn't have people who respected you and who might be disappointed in your past.”
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