One of the Guys (30 page)

           
“Oh?
 
Why’s that?”

           
“Because Kevin won again,” Jackson
said. “I think you might be the only one who can beat him.”

           
“You let him win
again
?
 
Seriously?”

           
Jackson shrugged. “I had shitty
cards all night long.”

           
“That’s no excuse!” Kate teased.

           
“You’re coming back next weekend,
right?”

           
“As long as I’m not doing anything
with the girls, I’ll be there.”

*

           
On Wednesday, Kate and Julia were having
lunch in the office and rehashing the events of their trip to Fifteen Minutes
on Saturday. They giggled over Candy’s duet with the strange old man. They
laughed over the guys’ surprise appearance and their rendition of “Ice, Ice
Baby.”
 
And Kate had to agree that
Kevin’s duet with her mom had been adorable. It had been a great time.

           
Sitting there with her B.L.T and
thinking about the fun times she’d had with her friends the past few weeks –
girls’ night out, poker, karaoke – made her realize that things were really
good. Things with Chris and Max had definitely smoothed over; they were all
friends again and there wasn’t any awkwardness like she’d feared. She also had
new friends in Candy and Danielle. She was really happy with how things were
going.

           
So, when she bumped into Kevin as
she was leaving the office and he asked her if she was coming to the poker game
on Saturday, she said yes without any hesitation.

           
When Saturday rolled around, she
showed up at Kevin’s a little later than usual. The wedding that she’d been
working on had run a little longer than expected and she’d had to negotiate an
extended price for using the venue after hours. Everything had worked out fine,
though, and Kate was sure that the guys would wait for her.

           
She was surprised when there was no
answer at Kevin’s door. She knocked again and again and was just about to pull
out her cell phone to call, when the door slid open a little bit. “Hey,” she
said.

           
Kevin smiled, but he didn’t open the
door any further. “Hey. Can you give me a sec?”

           
Puzzled, Kate took a moment to
respond. “I guess so. Sure,” she said.

           
“Thanks. I’ll just be a minute,”
Kevin said, closing the door again.

           
“Okay.”
 
Kate stood outside the door. She shouldered
her purse and leaned against the doorframe, waiting and wondering what was
going on.

Kevin
opened the door again. “Okay, you can come in,” he said.

Kate
looked up at him, confused, and walked past him into the apartment. She
expected to see Jackson, Chris, and Max, but instead, the apartment was empty
and the lights were dim. Rather than cards and chips, the poker table was
decorated with flickering candles. She placed her purse on the kitchen counter
and turned around. “What’s this?” she asked.

“Why
don’t you go sit down?” Kevin suggested.

Kate
sat down on the edge of the couch, now completely perplexed. She looked around
the room. Kevin was not sloppy by any means, but his apartment appeared to be
extra neat. There were more candles on the coffee table. She didn’t remember
ever seeing candles in his apartment before.

Kevin
joined her on the couch and handed her a glass of wine. “Thanks,” she said,
taking a sip. “Now what’s this all about?
 
Why no poker game tonight?”

“Kate,
I wanted to talk to you,” Kevin began. He took a sip of wine and then set his
glass on the table.

“Okay,”
Kate said.
“About what?
 
What’s going on?”
 
She wanted to ask him to turn up the lights.

“I
wanted to talk to you about us,” he said. He reached for her hand, but as soon
as his fingers touched hers, she pulled away in surprise and placed her hand on
her chest.

“What
about us?”

Kevin
scratched his head and then clasped his hands in front of him, nervously
cracking and popping his knuckles. “We’ve hung out a couple times together,
right?” he began.

“Yes,”
Kate said slowly.
“As friends.”

“As
friends, yes,” Kevin said. “And we’ve had fun together, right?”

“Yes,”
Kate replied.

“And
I like to think that we get along really well,” he added. Kate nodded in
agreement. “And… I really like you.”

Kate
put her wine glass on the table and brought both of her hands to her head. She
rubbed her temples delicately, unable to believe where the conversation was
going. “Kevin, please…” she said.

“Hear
me out,” Kevin said. “It’s taken me a long time to be able to finally get up
the nerve to do this, so you have to let me finish,” he said, prying her hands
away from her head and holding them in her lap. She looked at him helplessly. “I
really like you,” he said.

“I
like you, too. As a friend,” she said, repeating her earlier phrase.

“But
I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if we were more than
friends.”
 
Kate opened her mouth to
speak, but Kevin continued. She looked down at their hands while he spoke. “I
know it isn’t exactly the easiest situation, but I think we should give it a
shot. I’d like it if you’d go out with me.
On a date.
Not
just as friends, but as a guy and a girl who like each other. Maybe,” he said.

Kate
pulled her hands away and wrapped her arms around herself. “That’s really not a
good idea,” she said.

“What
makes you say that?” Kevin asked.

Kate
looked at him, exasperated. “You know why. It doesn’t work,” she said.

“You
mean Chris?
 
Or Max?”

“I
mean both of them,” she hissed. “I’m not going through that again. It’s not
worth it.”

“What’s
not worth it?” Kevin asked.

“Us
getting together.
And then what happens when we… break
up?
 
Or whatever?”

“
Who’s
saying we would break up?”

Kate
folded her arms across her chest. “Kevin, I’m just not doing that again. I
can’t.”

“Why
not?” he asked.

“Because
I don’t want to make the same mistake again,” she said.

Kevin
sat back against the arm of the couch and gazed at her, obviously hurt. He
didn’t say anything for a moment. “Dating me would be a mistake?”
 
Kate didn’t know how to answer him. “Dating a
guy who really cares for you and who doesn’t want to mess with your head and
play stupid games would be a mistake?” he asked.

“I
just don’t want things to get weird between us,” she said softly.

“Look
at me,” Kevin said. “I’m not those guys. I don’t want to be your friend with
benefits. I don’t want to be someone you can just call up and hop in bed with
whenever you feel like it.”

Kate
stared at him. “But we’re friends,” she said plaintively. “I don’t want to ruin
what we have.”

“But
you gave those guys a chance,” he said. “You fooled around with Max. You wanted
to hook up with Chris. Why those guys?
 
Are they better than me?
 
What do
they have that I don’t?” he asked.

Kate
didn’t have an answer, but her eyes started to fill with tears. “I don’t know,”
she said. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend,” she said.

“You
won’t lose me,” Kevin said softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I
know, but…”

“But
what?”

“It
didn’t work with those guys, Kevin. I don’t want to go through that again.”

“Have
you ever stopped to think that maybe it didn’t work out with those guys because
it wasn’t supposed to?
 
That maybe it
just wasn’t meant to be?”

“And
what?
 
We are?
 
We’re meant to be together?” she asked.

Kevin
shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“I
should go,” she said.

“We’ll
never know if we don’t take a chance,” he said.

Kate
got to her feet. “I don’t want things to be different between us,” she said.

Kevin
looked up at her and smiled sadly. “They already are.”

*

           
Kate didn’t sleep very well that
night. She woke up in the morning with an intense feeling of dread in the pit
of her stomach. Then she remembered last night’s conversation with Kevin. The
candles, the wine…
 
What had he been thinking?

           
She reached for her phone and dialed
Julia’s number. She left a voice message telling Julia that she wouldn’t be in
the office until later that afternoon, that nothing was wrong, and that she
just needed to do some things at home. Then she pulled the covers up over her
head and went back to sleep.

           
She woke an hour later as her phone
rang and vibrated next to her in bed. “Hello?”

           
“Oh, God.”
 
That was all Lucy said.

           
“What?” Kate groaned.

           
“Kevin was here this morning. He and
Jackson are now out playing a round of golf.”

           
“Oh.”

           
“Yeah.
Care
to tell me what happened?” Lucy asked.

           
“As if you don’t
already know?”

           
“I’ll be over in twenty minutes,”
Lucy said.

           
“You better bring coffee.”

           
Kate got up and went into the
bathroom. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and then went out into the
living room where her parents were sprawled on the couch, reading the newspaper
together. “Good morning, dear. How was the poker game last night?” her dad
asked.

           
“There wasn’t a game,” she said. She
went out onto the back deck and sat down on a lounge chair to wait for Lucy to
show up.

           
She must have dozed off, because the
next thing she knew, Lucy was standing over her, holding out a cup from
Starbucks. “I got you coffee,” she said. “Now talk.”

           
“Didn’t Kevin already tell you?”

           
“I heard his side. Now I want to
hear yours.”
 
Lucy sat down on the other
lounge chair and sipped her coffee. “Start from the beginning.”

           
“I went over to Kevin’s last night
for the poker game. When I got there, he didn’t let me in right away. I guess
he was going around his apartment lighting candles or something.”

           
“He lit candles?
 
He didn’t tell me that part.”

           
Kate glared at Lucy. “Do you want me
to talk or not?”

           
“Sorry. Go ahead,” Lucy said, her
eyes twinkling.

           
“He asked me to come in and sit down.
He gave me a glass of wine and said that he wanted to talk. He said that he
really liked me and that he wondered what it would be like if we were more than
friends. He said he wanted to go out with me, and I told him that wasn’t a good
idea.”

           
“And what did he say?”

           
“He asked why, and I told him. I
told him I didn’t want it to mess up our friendship, that it didn’t work with
Chris or Max, and that I didn’t want to go through all that again.”

           
“And then what?”

           
“He said that he didn’t want to just
be a friend with benefits. And he wanted to know why I gave the other guys a
chance but not him. I think that kind of hurt his feelings.”

           
Lucy nodded. “What else?”

           
“I said that I didn’t want to lose
him as a friend. He said that I wouldn’t.”

           
“Anything else?”

           
Kate thought for a minute. “He said
that maybe things didn’t work out with Chris or Max because they weren’t meant
to be.”

           
“So what did you do?”