Authors: Ginger Solomon
Running from the room, he yelled for Matthias.
“What?” the man asked as he stepped into the hall from his office.
“When was the last time you saw Cahri?”
“Breakfast.”
“Where is she now?” Josiah's demand was met with a blank stare. “Where. Is. She?”
“I don't know. She's not
my
wife.”
Josiah winced. “Did she request a car today?”
Matthias entered his office. Josiah followed him. “Yes.”
Josiah fell to his knees. The pain in his heart overpowered the pain that shot up his leg at the movement. He ran his hands through his hair and groaned.
Oh God, what have I done? How can I get her back?
Mere moments after uttering the prayer, he knew.
“Check with the airlines and find out if there's a flight this morning to France.”
“What?” Matthias gaped at him like he was crazy.
“She left me a note telling me I was free. Her things are gone. She's left. I pushed her away.”
“Why should I help you?” Matthias glared at Josiah.
“Because I love her.”
“You could have fooled me. Her too, since you haven't even bothered to show your face around her since⦔ Matthias took a deep breath, held it, and then released it. “Was she supposed to wait on you forever, hoping you would deem her worthy of your presence and love again?”
“What are you talking about?” Josiah stood and stared into Matthias's eyes.
“When she was so sick, she mumbled in her sleep. Over and over she kept whispering, âHe doesn't want me. I'm not worthy of his love.' I watched, unable to do anything to help, as the tears slipped from her eyes. You confirmed her fears, the ones she wouldn't express except in her sleep. Why would I bring her back to such pain? I returned her to you once when she
begged
me not to. I won't make such a mistake again.”
Matthias moved away from Josiah then pivoted back. “You've been stubborn before, Josiah, but this time you've gone too far. I've watched her walk around for weeks, the sparkle of life gone from her eyes. You did that. Had she asked for my help, which she didn't, I would have helped her."
“You forget your place, Matthias.”
“No, I haven't. As soon as your parents return, and Waseem is executed, I will be leaving.”
“You're in love with her, aren't you?”
“What if I am?” Matthias's careless words stabbed Josiah's heart.
“Does⦠does she return your feelings?”
“Are you stupid? She didn't give up on life because
I
wasn't there for her. She thinks of me as her friend, nothing more. You should be happy I fell in love with your wife. She was the reason I stayed, and I'm the reason she's alive.”
Josiah squeezed his eyes closed. His wife and now his best friend, leaving him. Pushed away by him.
He'd worry about Matthias later. First, he had to find her and he would â without Matthias's help. He clenched his teeth. In his office, he searched for the airport phone number. Why search for flights when he could go to the top to find the information he needed? It was one of the few times he would use his position to get what he wanted from others.
What he heard sapped his strength. Her plane would leave in thirty minutes. It took that long to get to the airport when traffic was light.
Oh God, what should I do?
His prayer went unanswered.
I've made such a mess of things, Lord. I was so selfish and prideful, thinking
I
could protect her from Waseem. But my actions were worse than his. I love her and still I hurt her with my withdrawal. Waseem battered her body, but I broke her heart, again. Please forgive me, Lord. I need her. Help me.
Go.
Go?
Go. Ask forgiveness. Tell her you love her.
Josiah jumped from his desk chair, knocking it to the floor. He ran to the security office, praying Matthias hadn't left yet.
“Matthias!”
Nothing.
He scrutinized the room. Empty.
Spinning around, Josiah collided with the object of his search. He took a step back and stood eye to eye with Matthias. “Forgive me. You tried to warn me, and I was too filled with pride to see how much pain I was causing her. But I love her. I
need
her. Please help me get to the airport before it's too late to stop the plane.”
Matthias eyed him. “When does it leave?”
Josiah glanced at his watch. “Twenty minutes.”
“You want me to get you to the airport in twenty minutes?”
“Yes.” Please let him say yes. He's the only person who can drive that fast and stay safe. “I won't make her come back if she wants to leave, but I have to try. I have to tell her how sorry I am and how much I love her. I have to.”
Matthias stared at him, seeming to gauge his sincerity then walked away.
Josiah's heart sunk. He'd have to drive himself, and he wouldn't risk other lives by driving too fast. He wouldn't make it on time, but maybe he could have them delay the plane. If not, he'd follow her to France. Somehow he'd find her.
He gripped the phone in his pocket and sprinted toward his car. He'd call on the way. A sudden thought occurred to him, and he took a side trip to the rose garden. He snipped one perfect red rose, wrapped it in a damp paper towel and headed to his car once more.
When he arrived, Matthias sat in the driver's seat, waiting for the keys. Josiah tossed them to him as he slid in the passenger seat and slammed the door.
Josiah could never express to Matthias his depth of gratitude, but he had to try. “Thank you, my friend.”
Matthias just grunted.
Josiah smiled for the first time in weeks.
****
Cahri glanced behind her as she drove the stretch of road between the palace and the airport. A number of cars vied for position on the four-lane highway, but none were following her. She wasn't surprised. Her subterfuge hadn't been necessary. Josiah didn't care. The tiny spark of hope she'd held onto died.
She let the tears fall but vowed they would be the last. This was a necessary step in starting over. She prayed she could find contentment and maybe a measure of happiness without a man to love or children to cherish.
During the last week, she'd researched various culinary institutes. She had a little saved, and hoped by next year she would have more put aside to follow this new dream.
At the airport, Cahri pulled into short-term parking. She rested her head on the steering wheel and made a last-minute decision. Unpinning her hat, she removed it and laid it on the seat next to her. She left her hair bound in the tight knot at the back of her head. Looking in the mirror, she tugged at a few strands to soften the severity around her face. She would have to get used to seeing herself without a hat. Her hats belonged in this country, with her heart.
Satisfied she was presentable, she picked up the note she'd written and attached it to the keys. After grabbing her luggage, she trudged to the drop-off area and stopped a skycap. He gazed at her, a curious expression pulling his eyebrows toward his eyes when she handed him the envelope and keys. She asked him to make sure the car made it back to Kral Sarayi. After she included a hefty tip, he nodded his acceptance.
One more step closer to the rest of her life.
Cahri checked her watch and saw she had an hour before her flight. Plenty of time. She bit her lip and worried about getting through security. Would Josiah try to stop her?
Foolish girl, of course he wouldn't.
She checked her bags, and claimed her tickets then headed to her gate. This would be the first time she'd flown alone. At least the flights only lasted a few hours each. She pulled out her book and the soda she'd purchased after the security checkpoint and got comfortable. As comfortable as one got in an airport.
As soon as she was out of Belikara, she could breathe a little easier. Another step in her plan would be complete.
As the boarding process began, Cahri gathered her things and threw away her trash. While everyone stowed their carry-ons and took their seats, Cahri glanced out the window. Across the tarmac the sun reflected off the sand. She inhaled and wished Belikara goodbye.
The pilot announced a delay. Cahri's heart skipped.
Could it be? No.
Why did she still harbor hope that he cared? It just caused more heartache.
Ten minutes later, the other passengers' grumbles had increased. The flight attendants tried to answer questions, but they didn't seem to know the reason for the delay either. Cahri watched their whispers and shrugs. The pilot appeared from the cockpit and opened the door to the gangway. A security guard entered. Gasps sounded throughout the plane. One of the flight attendants lifted the phone to make an announcement then returned it to its cradle. She lifted a clipboard and flipped through the papers, looking for something.
Cahri held her breath. She wasn't sure whether she should pray for it to be Josiah or pray it wasn't.
Let it be your will, oh God.
Peace descended around her, and she knew before the woman found what she was looking for Josiah had come. The flight attendant stared straight at her. Cahri met her gaze and the woman nodded.
Cahri sighed and rose from her seat. She grabbed her carry-on and followed the security guard off the plane.
Matthias waited for her at the end of the gangway. She dropped her gaze to the floor and fought the burn in her eyes. Josiah hadn't come. Matthias had been sent instead. He may not want her, but he wouldn't let her go either.
“Princess.”
“Matthias.” She glanced at his eyes and then bowed her head once more. The impersonal mask concealed his thoughts. He would tell her nothing.
Matthias switched his attention to the suited man who had been standing beside him. “Be sure Princess Cahri's bags are returned to the palace.”
“Yes, sir.” The man stared at Cahri for a moment then issued orders to those around him.
Matthias took her elbow and led her away from the staring airport personnel. She offered no resistance, but couldn't hold back the tears which trickled down her face. So close to freedom from at least some of the pain.
He opened a door and led her through several stark, white corridors. She didn't know where he led her, nor did she care. Trying to leave had been foolish. Had Josiah not sent Matthias, the king would have sent someone to retrieve her from wherever she went.
Matthias stopped and released her arm and stepped back. Cahri gazed at him and he nodded once. She swiveled back to the front, eyes closed, and waited, for what she didn't know.
Help me, Lord.
It was all she could pray.
Her chest tightened when she inhaled a familiar scent. She opened her eyes. Black tennis shoes, black jeans, white oxford shirt, untucked. The face of the man she loved. Her husband.
Cahri swiveled away from Josiah. Her gaze sought Matthias's, but the guard had left. She sighed and walked toward the door.
“Will you leave me,
wife
?”
She stopped. His words angered her, but she answered him with a soft voice. “You left me a long time ago.”
“I'm sorry, Cahri.”
“It's too late for apologies. They might have worked two weeks ago, even last week, but today it's too late.” She placed her hand on the doorknob.
“I love you.”
“No, you don't.”
His hands on her shoulders startled her and sent a shiver down her spine. “Look at me, please.”
She shifted around but didn't look up.
He fingered the tendrils of hair beside her cheeks. “I've missed you.”
A snort of derision was her response.
He lifted her chin, but she closed her eyes. She wouldn't let him see how much his touch affected her, or how much his rejection hurt.
“I need you.”
“Yeah, well, I can tell you from experience we don't always get the things we
need
. You haven't needed me for over a month. Why should I believe you need me now?” She broke away from his hold and went to look out the window. Her muscles tensed as his footsteps grew closer.
He touched her arm, trying to turn her around again. She resisted.
“I am still your husband. Turn around.”
She snorted again. After yanking her arm free from his grip, she stepped away and faced him. “What do you want from me?”
He stepped forward and she stepped back. They moved around the upholstered chairs step by step. Then before she could make another move, he took several quick steps and grabbed her arms.
Cahri resisted the demands his lips made of hers. His touch on her arms gentled, as did the pressure of his mouth. She moved her head away, but he nibbled her ear then placed gentle kisses down her neck. Nimble fingers undid the tight bun at the back of her head. He ran his fingers through her hair and she was lost.
His lips found hers again, and she responded to his demands. Her hands followed the muscles in his arms then entangled themselves in his hair, pulling him closer as she made demands of her own. Desire flooded her body.
He broke the kiss.
The spell was broken, and she leaned away from him, ashamed he could distract her with such ease.
“No.” He pulled her back around and kissed her with passion again until she felt herself relax in his arms.
He broke the kiss.
“Stop.”
“No.” His lips found hers and demanded more. She struggled, but he held firm. Her resolve crumbled.
He broke the kiss.
She pulled his head back down and touched her lips to his. When he didn't respond, she used her teeth to nibble his lips apart. He groaned and tightened his hold on her, never releasing her mouth. His kiss felt desperate somehow.
She broke the kiss, and instead of moving away, gazed into his eyes.
Josiah brought one hand up to caress her cheek. “I'm so sorry, Cahri. I do love you, but I was so ashamed I hadn't been able to protect you. Every time I saw you I remembered how I'd failed. I felt like less than a man and couldn't face the thought of you thinking of me that way too.”
Cahri closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Josiah's chest. “I have never thought of you as less than a man. You couldn't have stopped Waseem. I know it, and so do you. I never blamed you for his attack on me. He was evil.” She shuddered. “I thought you didn't want me, couldn't love me, because of what happened.”
“Oh, my love. It was never you. Never. I needed time.”
Cahri pushed away from him. “I needed
you
. Did you even consider
my
feelings?” She walked back to the window. “A little part inside me died every day because you didn't come. I tried to convince myself I hadn't done anything wrong, that it wasn't my fault.”
“Cahri.” Josiah's whispered word caressed her soul, but she stiffened her spine.
“After weeks of waiting, I gave up the hope that you would come, that you could still love me after what happened. I decided if I had to live without you, I may as well do it some place where I didn't have to pretend I was fine. Somewhere I wouldn't have to sleep in the bed I'd shared with you. A place where everything I saw wouldn't remind me of all I had lost. But then, maybe I never had it. Maybe I was delusional to think a handsome prince could love me.”
“But I do love you.”
She wanted to believe him, wanted it with all her heart.
“Come home with me.”
“Why?”
“Because I need you. Because I want you. Because I love you.”
Cahri sighed. “I don't believe you, but I will do as you say.” She walked to the door. Catching sight of herself in a mirror, she shuddered at the sight of her hair hanging down past her shoulders. No use fixing it now.
Matthias stood outside the door.
“Take me back to my prison, Matthias.”
He stared down at her. “Josiah promised to let you choose if you wanted to stay or leave.”
Cahri shrugged. “I've had but one choice since the day Anaya knocked on my door. One choice to live. One choice to stay in Belikara. Today my one choice is to obey God by staying with my husband. For better or for worse.” She took Matthias's arm and began walking down the corridor. “Maybe one day I'll have the
for better
part.”