“Do you love my mom?” the boy asked abruptly.
“Yes, I do. Very much.”
“Like… enough to marry her?”
“I’m beginning to believe so, yes, but let’s give time a chance to do its thing, all right? Your mom and I have both been hurt, and she especially needs to know that this isn’t another mistake.”
“How were you hurt?”
That particular topic was surrounded by landmines, but Henry had promised he’d be honest with Noah. “It’s complicated and maybe a bit much for you to understand just yet, but I thought I was the father of a beautiful little boy—his mother made me believe I was—but it turned out I wasn’t.”
“Did you love her?”
“On some level I did, but it was nothing like how I love your mom. Compared to that, no, I didn’t love her.”
“Kinda like my dad didn’t love
my
mom.”
“I guess so, yes.”
“Except that you loved the boy you thought was your son.”
“I still do even though he isn’t.” Henry watched as Noah’s face fell, and his heart went out to the kid. “Your dad loves you, too, Noah. Maybe he doesn’t show it. Maybe he doesn’t know how.”
“Or maybe he’s just a selfish asshole.” As soon as the words were out, Noah clamped his hand over his mouth and stared at Henry with rounded eyes. “Please don’t tell my mom I said that word!”
“I should,” Henry replied, pausing just long enough to make the kid nervous. “But I won’t.”
“I don’t mind if you kiss her, you know.”
Chuckling, Henry said, “Thanks, bud.”
“If you marry my mom, please don’t send me to live with my dad.”
“Never. You remember what I said to you that day at the mall about you and your mom being a packaged deal? I mean that, Noah. Every word of it. In fact, even if you
wanted
to go live with your dad, I’d probably beg you to stay with us.”
“You mean it?”
“Yes, I do. You’re a great kid, and I love you as much as I love your mother.”
Without warning, Noah launched himself at Henry, wrapping his arm’s tightly around Henry’s neck. Henry hugged him back and murmured, “You know that it won’t be all fun and games, though, right? You live in my house, you’ll have to follow my rules, and rule number one is you treat your mother with absolute respect… starting with finding a new way to vent your anger because she doesn’t deserve to be the target of it. Let it out on me if you have to, but not on her. All right, bud?”
Noah only nodded. It was a long time before he loosened his hold on Henry, and when he did, he drew himself up with a deliberate composure. “I’m ready.”
“All right.”
They didn’t speak on the walk home, but Noah gripped Henry’s hand. For once, it wasn’t raining, but a thick layer of clouds blocked out the stars, plunging the areas not illuminated by the orange glow of the streetlamps into pitch-blackness. It was a quiet town, and in Henry’s time here, he’d seen and heard nothing to make him believe otherwise, but it terrified him a little to picture Noah making the walk from his grandparents’ house to the cottage alone, and he knew there was no way Lindsay would have let him go by himself if she’d had a say in the matter. Unsurprisingly, when they reached the Millers’ house, she was furious with her son, but she waited until they were inside before she said anything.
“Go easy on him,” Henry said gently.
“Go easy? He walked out with little more than ‘I’m gonna go talk to Henry’ and—”
“Lindsay. He has something he needs to say to you. Please give him a chance to say it.”
She snapped her mouth shut, folded her arms, and turned to her son. “Well, out with it.”
“I’m sorry,” Noah said. “I’m sorry for leaving like I did, and I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I’m sorry, too, for being such a butthead all the time. I don’t ever mean what I say.”
By now, tears slipped down Noah’s cheeks, and he threw his arms around his mother’s waist. When Lindsay’s fear-driven anger fizzled and she returned the embrace, Henry stepped outside to give them some privacy.
Because the step was damp from the rain earlier in the day, he leaned against the post supporting the small roof over the front door and exhaled slowly. The door opened behind him, and he glanced over his shoulder to watch Lindsay step outside. Without a word, she tucked her arms around him and leaned into him, sighing.
“Whatever you said to him, thank you,” she murmured.
“You’re welcome, but I’m not sure it was so much what I said as what he did. Your son has a good heart, Lindsay. He’s just frustrated with Max, like you are.”
“Did you tell him about New Year’s?”
He nodded. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“Why would I mind? I think this trip will be as good for him as it will be for me. He could really use the Hammond brand of love to show him what a family should be.” She looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. “Not to pile the pressure on you or anything.”
Chuckling, he kissed the top of her head. “I’ll do my best to prove that your faith in my isn’t misplaced. Speaking of Christmas… Mel and Doug want to come up for a couple days.”
“To Northstar?”
Lindsay leaned away, frowning.
“Supposedly they have something—something I’ll supposedly like—that they need to talk to me about in person.”
“Mel
and
Doug?”
“Yep. They’re back together.”
“That’s good news, right?”
“I would think so. I need your opinion, Lindsay. I’m not inclined to agree to them coming.”
“But you’re curious to know what they want.”
He nodded.
“It’s not my place to tell you what to do.”
“Yes, it is.” He touched his lips lightly to hers. “It’s your place because I say it is. I love you, and I care what you think.”
“You said a while back that a friend of her partner’s wanted to buy her out. Could this be about that? Maybe she’s agreed to it and has the funds to pay you back. That’d be something you like, wouldn’t it?”
“Could be, but why would she need to tell me that in person?”
“Maybe she needs you to sign paperwork.”
“So you’re saying I should tell her to come? Are you okay with that?”
“I guess I’ll find out.”
Henry searched her face intently for any sign that she was only saying he should tell Mel and Doug it was okay to come to Northstar for Christmas to humor him. She wasn’t entirely comfortable, that was for sure, but neither did she seem overly worried about it, and it was possible the unenthusiastic response had more to do with her recovering from the emotional strain of the evening. He decided to ask. “Talk to me, love.”
She smiled at that, but it didn’t last long enough. “I’m just wondering how long she plans to keep jerking you around like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“She knows just what buttons to push to get what she wants out of you. Just like Max and me. It’s a bad cycle, Henry, and we both need to get out of it. I think I took a pretty big step tonight when I refused to let him ruin Christmas for us… and maybe sitting down with Mel and Doug will be that first big step for you. So, no, I’m not entirely comfortable with them coming to Northstar over Christmas, but it needs to happen.”
“You’re sure?”
She nodded.
“You’re an amazing woman, Lindsay Miller,” Henry said, pulling her close. “And while it pisses me off to no end how Max treats you, I’m glad he was too stupid to see how wonderful you are because I might never have met you if he’d realized it.”
She rested her head on his chest, and he felt the tension leave her body. “I believe it now.”
“Believe what?”
“That I love you, too.”
He gave her one last squeeze to acknowledge her admission, then took her hand and led her inside. Noah was sitting on the couch with a thoughtful expression, but when he spotted them, he grinned broadly. Lindsay sat on one side of him and Henry on the other, squishing him between them in a big hug. In this moment, they were a family… a family like Henry hadn’t known he’d wanted until Mel had told him she was pregnant. Only this time, he was in love.
AFTER TWO NERVE-WRACKING DAYS on the road driving through a monster winter storm that had turned all seven hundred or so miles into a sloppy nightmare of sleet, ice, and snow and a night spent in an uncomfortable hotel bed, Lindsay shouldn’t have the energy left to be awed by the sight of the Northstar Valley and its guarding mountains under a thick blanket of snow and a thicker ceiling of dark clouds, but as Henry drove north on the scenic byway and that view unfolded before her, all traces of weariness fled, and she leaned forward in her seat to better see out the windshield. Plumes of snow wafted over the mountains and foothills, and all the color had been leeched from the world but the hint of gray-blue that was the pine and fir forests and the deep red bark of the leafless willows along the streams. The shades of gray and white lent a stark but staggering beauty and otherworldliness that transformed Northstar.
“Noah, wake up,” she breathed, reaching into the narrow back seat of Henry’s truck to nudge her snoozing son. “We’re almost home.”
“Yes, we are,” Henry murmured, glancing at her with a tender smile as he navigated the snow-covered road with the ease of a lifetime of practice.
At his words, she realized with a start what she’d said and opened her mouth take the words back… and didn’t because that’s exactly how she felt in her heart—like she was coming home. Relief and joy mingled with the promise of adventure and excitement at reuniting with the friends she’d made here back in August. She covered Henry’s hand, which rested on the gearshift, curling her fingers around his with a squeeze. He briefly met her gaze again, and she smiled in thanks for this gift.
“Wha’ did ya say, Mom?” Noah mumbled behind her.
“I said we’re almost home to Northstar,” she replied. “We’re in the valley, so open your eyes and take a look.”
A moment later, she heard him whisper, “Oh, wow.”
She glanced back at him to see his face nearly pressed to the tinted window and the most open awe she had seen in his expression in a very long time. It was impossible to resist, and even if she tried, she wouldn’t be able to stop the grin from claiming her entire face.
“This is amazing,” Noah sighed as they passed the road to the post office and the Lazy H Ranch’s main house. The main road climbed higher with an ever more commanding view of the eastern peaks.
She’d forgotten how tall and dominating those mountains were, and even Skye’s gorgeous pictures of Northstar couldn’t capture the scale. She felt so small in the face of their enduring power and more connected with the natural world than she’d ever been before. Gazing up at those wintry peaks, it easy to understand why Henry and his family, their friends, and now Evie and Skye so loved this place.
“Obviously Noah and I are glad to be here, but what about you, Henry?” Lindsay asked. “Are you glad to be home?”
“You mean this smile that’s been on my face so long that my cheeks ache doesn’t give it away?” He laughed. “You’ve given me an entirely new appreciation of my home, Lindsay, and yes, I’m glad to be back. Even more so to have you and Noah with me.”
He turned onto Aspen Creek Road toward his house, and Lindsay’s heart leapt. Unlike the sense of despair and resignation that had claimed her when she’d returned to the house she and Noah had shared with Chelsea and Spencer, seeing Henry’s house perched on the hill with the wall of snowy mountains behind it inspired in her all the joy and relief of homecoming despite the fact she’d spent only one night there. Maybe it was just her excitement to be visiting again and the parade of memories imbibed with freedom, but she doubted it.
Henry turned left onto his short driveway and parked in front of his house beside a snowmobile. “This is it. Welcome home.”
Lindsay noted the light glowing in the living room window and the smoke drifting out of the chimney and wondered who was inside. Probably a member of Henry’s family. Henry told her and Noah to head in while he grabbed their bags. Lindsay opened the door and poked her head inside to see Nick tossing a couple logs into the woodstove. He glanced up when he heard the door open and smiled.
“Here’s a sight for sore eyes,” he greeted, straightening. He strode to her and gave her a big hub before turning to Noah. “Welcome back to Northstar, Lindsay. This must be your son, Noah.”
“Noah, this is Henry’s older brother, Nick.”
“It’s good to have you here,” Nick said, extending his hand.
Noah shook it. “Thank you.”
“What do you think of Northstar so far?”
“It’s beautiful. I saw the pictures Mom and Skye took when they were here this summer, but it’s so much prettier now that I’m here.”
Henry entered then loaded down with luggage. He dropped the bags in one hand onto the floor to embrace his brother. “Thanks for getting it warm in here for us.”
“Any time, Hen. How were the roads?”
“Terrible,” Henry replied. “Snow and ice the whole way. We saw about a dozen semis off the road, and I lost count of how many cars after thirty.”
“Aren’t you glad you decided to leave yesterday after school instead of waiting until this morning?”
“Yes, I am. We wouldn’t have made it today if we hadn’t. Eighteen hours of driving between yesterday and today instead of the eleven or twelve it’s supposed to take. Although… that hotel bed was so terrible, I almost wish we’d tried to drive straight through.”
Henry picked the bags up again and headed down the hall to deposit them in their room and Noah’s.
“Don’t remind me,” Lindsay groaned. “Even Noah didn’t sleep worth a darn.”
“Yeah, and I can sleep anywhere,” her son piped.
“In that case, I hope you took a nap in the truck because Will and Jessie are very excited to meet you.”
“Will is your son, right?” Noah asked. “And Jessie is Aaron’s daughter?”
Lindsay regarded her son with brows lifted, surprised he’d remembered that.
“Right.” Nick glanced at his watch. “You’ve got a couple hours until we’re all supposed to meet for dinner at the Bedspread Inn, so you might want to use that time to get a little more rest. I’ll see you all at five.”
Nick gave Henry a hand with the rest of their bags, then left, and while Lindsay ducked into the bathroom, Henry gave Noah a quick tour of the house. After, the three of them retreated to the couch to watch the fire dance behind the glass of the woodstove while the snow flew outside. Just like she’d imagined so many times since she’d left Northstar. Henry lay angled against the arm of the couch with his feet propped on the coffee table, and Lindsay rested her head on his chest with her arm around her son. This was perfect.
“Well, Noah, what do you think?” Henry asked.
“I love it. Thanks for inviting mom and me here. This is gonna be our best Christmas ever.”
“I have a feeling it’ll be mine, too, but I won’t say
ever
. I’ll say
yet
.”
There was so much promise in that statement that Lindsay’s heart threatened to climb out of her chest, too exhilarated to be contained by her ribs. She didn’t want to ruin the moment by questioning it, but she couldn’t help it. “Yet? As in you’re looking ahead to more Christmases with us and that they might be even better?”
“Yes, yet.”
Beneath her ear, his voice was a rumble that sent a breeze of warmth and love straight to the deepest reaches of her heart, and she closed her eyes as hope threatened to swamp her. Not so long ago, she’d almost lost hope for anything better than the lonely fight for survival her life had been since Noah’s birth, but now, here she was snuggled up with a man who loved not only her but her son and showed her with his patience and admiration that she was stronger than she’d ever realized.
She didn’t want to this moment to end, but as soon as she thought of seeing the rest of his family again, a new and different kind of joy blossomed, and she unpeeled herself from Henry’s embrace, and stood, offering a hand each to him and Noah.
“Where are we going?” Henry inquired sleepily.
“I don’t want to wait until dinner to see your parents.”
“All right.”
“That’s it? No excuses to stay here and relax?”
“Nope. To be honest, I want to see them, too, and I want to introduce them to Noah. They’re going to love him.”
“You think so?” Noah asked.
“I know so. So let’s go.”
After the cozy heat of the fire, the air outside sucked the air from her lungs, but she was too excited to complain. It was just one more experience for her, one more thing to love about Henry’s home. Noah rode in the middle between them on the way down to the Hammonds’, staring out the windshield with the same awe inscribed on his face as what she’d seen the moment he’d gotten his first glimpse of the Northstar Valley.
John was outside splitting firewood when they arrived, and he sunk the ax into the chopping block to greet them. Much like Nick had done, John embraced first Henry and then Lindsay, and offered Noah his hand in greeting. He then sent them inside to see Tracie, but Henry stayed outside to help him bring in the firewood. To her astonishment, Noah volunteered to carry some wood in, too.
Yeah, Henry is
definitely
a better role model for him than Max has ever
tried
to be.
Tracie was in the living room poring over what looked like financial reports for the ranch, so Lindsay knocked on the wall beside the door to announce her presence. Immediately upon seeing who’d come in, Tracie set her work aside and strode over with arms wide. Lindsay stepped into them, hugging Henry’s mother tightly.
“Lindsay! We weren’t expecting to see you until dinner.”
“I couldn’t wait.”
“Welcome back, sweetheart. Where’s your boy?”
“He’s out helping John and Henry with the firewood.”
“What a good boy. Come on in and have a seat while we wait for them.”
“I feel terrible for not finding out as soon as we arrived,” Lindsay said, sinking into the plush couch beside Tracie, “but have my parents checked in to the cabin yet?”
“They have indeed, about an hour ago, so not much before you arrived, and they promised to join us all for dinner.”
Lindsay exhaled, glad to hear that her parents had arrived safely.
“So, you have to tell me all about Shannon’s play. Henry sent me the pictures from the photoshoot you and he did for your friend’s shop—they’re gorgeous, by the way, what a spectacular dress you wore—but he was rather vague on the details other than to say the play was great, Shannon was amazing, and your evening out was incredible.”
“That covers it pretty well,” Lindsay replied, laughing softly. How marvelous it was to launch into conversation with Tracie like they were already family and had been for years. “We had a wonderful time with the Grangers and Pat and Aeli O’Neil and his parents. It was so nice to catch up with them again. We talked with them and Shannon for a while after the play—I wish you’d been there because she has a phenomenal voice—and then we went home to the cottage Henry rented from my Aunt Jeanie and danced in the living room for a while. Then I spent the night because my parents wouldn’t let me come home until the next day.”
“I think I like your parents already, but back up a bit. You got Henry to dance? When he was younger and his father and I tried to teach him, he hated it. He humored us, sure, but it was never really his thing.”
“So he told me.”
“Now,
that
is fascinating.”
The front door opened again, cutting off whatever else Tracie might have said, and almost as if she was looking for an excuse not to elaborate on her observation, she jumped to her feet to help John, Henry, and Noah unload their armfuls of logs. Lindsay watched as her son introduced himself to Henry’s mother.
“Henry has already told us so much about you that I feel like you’re already part of the family,” Tracie remarked, hugging the boy.
“He told you about me?”
“Of course he has. All good things, I promise. Thank you for helping with the wood.” Turning to Lindsay, Tracie added, “Quite a considerate young man you have here, Lindsay.”
“Thank you,” she replied, suddenly shy.
“Well, it’s almost time to head up to the Bedspread for dinner, so let me just get the fire good and stoked, and then we’ll be ready to go. Henry, you don’t mind if Jeremiah joins us, do you?”
“Why on earth would I mind? He’s sort of part of the family now, isn’t he?”
“Seems so. He’s been a great help around here, and I for one am glad Aaron took it upon himself to offer him a job. But we can talk more about that later.”
“Shall we meet you up there?” Henry asked his parents.
They nodded, so Lindsay followed Henry out to his truck with her son’s hand gripping hers tightly. She glanced down at him, and he met her gaze with a brilliant smile. No need to ask him if he liked the Hammonds so far; the resounding yes was splashed across his face, clear as day. At least a couple members of their party had already arrived.
She hadn’t thought it was so late, but the sky had darkened considerably in the short time she’d been in the Hammonds’ house, and when Henry parked in front of the Bedspread Inn’s wide deck, Lindsay spotted a vaguely familiar pickup.
“Isn’t that Aaron’s truck?” she asked.
“Yep,” Henry replied.
Lindsay hadn’t seen Skye since late October—before Henry had arrived in Washington—so she was excited to see her friend and hear about everything that had been happening in the interval. Lindsay knew Skye and Aaron were serious, but she was curious to see just
how
serious. And she wanted to talk to her friend about everything she had discovered about her own relationship especially in the last few weeks when they’d only talked over the phone a couple times. Skye had been too busy taking care of business for her photography studio.
Oh, and Evie! She had talked to her other best friend only once since she’d left Northstar, and guilt stung her for not keeping in closer contact with Evie since her friend had moved to Montana. Life and distance always seemed to get in the way, and Lindsay wished they still lived closer together. That thought prompted another. If she and Henry were to get married, would they live here or in Washington? As she crested the steps, she turned to take in the incredible view from the deck and knew instantly which she would prefer, but it wasn’t only what she wanted. Noah was awestruck by Northstar, but that didn’t mean he’d want to live here in this remote, sparsely populated ranching valley.