“You think so?” I run the brush down my long hair once more before popping the tab and taking a long pull of Heineken. “You don’t think it’s a bit too low-cut?” I stand in front of the mirror, taking in my black deep-cut v-neck off-the-shoulder shirt. “Like, are the girls out too much? The last thing I need to look like is a Cougar Mom.”
“Oh, Jesus, Hooker. Just ’cause you’re a mom doesn’t make you a cougar at all. You’re such a dork. If anything I’d say you’re a MILF.”
“London, be real. Does this look too slutty for a mom to be wearing?”
“Umm, have you seen your uniform there, my dear?”
“Yeah, but that’s a work uniform. I don’t really have a say in that. Now this, this I can control, if it looks bad.” I tug at the shirt while I wait for the truth.
“Not at all, it looks fantastic, especially with the wash of those jeans. Damn, they’re tight, eh? They hug all the right places. Boss Man is gonna lose his ever-lovin’ mind once you walk in there. And wear those new high-heeled boots we bought the other day. They’ll finish the look off perfectly.”
“God, I hope so. I can’t believe I’m going to do this. It’s been ages since I’ve been out on a real girls’ night, and I’ve never had to confront a man I’m developing feelings for before, at all. So I’m super excited, but seeing Levi and knowing I want him the way I do now, it’s making these weird butterflies inside me flutter around as if they were dancing for their lives on ‘So You Think You Can Dance’.”
“Don’t worry, momma. By the end of the night, you’ll have your man. I have no doubt,” she says, then looks me up and down with a whistle.
I laugh. “Oh I hope so, London. I’ll feel like an idiot if he’s like: ‘Ummm, sorry, Scrappy, I’m over the idea of us.’”
“Not a chance. Don’t psych yourself out like that. Now grab your purse and let’s go. It’s girls’ night:
whoop-whoop!
” she hoots as we walk up the stairs to find Grams.
Grams is looking after Emmerson so I can go out tonight. She’s been excited for me all week, wanting me to have a good time without having the responsibility of worrying about my Little Miss. They are too cute, Grams has set up the tent in the living room and she, Emmerson and Lewis are all pretending they were on a camping trip. London and I enjoyed sitting around the make-shift candle “campfire” and eating oven-made s’mores. Now Emmerson is sound asleep, snuggled in her sleeping bag, while Grams and Lewis are sitting at the kitchen table playing cards. London and I chat with them for a few minutes then, on our way out, I pop in the tent and give Emme a kiss.
*
Walking into Pub
Fiction, my senses are immediately assaulted with the smell of a million perfumes battling for dominance, booze, and that leather-and-lemon scent that I associate with this place. I knew it was going to be busy. With the promise of cheap drinks for the girls and being Ladies’ Night, it brings out every Tom, Dick and Harry to try and pick up a tipsy lady, hoping to score.
“Wow, it’s packed tonight, thank God we’re paying customers and not working, eh?” Brooke calls over her shoulder as we make our way to the bar. “Yeah, but the tips would have been killer, I bet, all these guys trying to impress the women. At least we’re not missing out too much; after all, the drinks are cheap!” She fist pumps the air, continuing to lead our group past the crowd.
As we walk, I feel like all eyes are on me and I’m uneasy, wondering if London was wrong about my outfit. But then I see
him
and know by the look in his eyes that my outfit is definitely not an issue that I should be concerned about.
He’s standing near the VIP section with a few other guys. One I recognize, Levi had pointed him out to me before when I was working in that section, a friend of his from university, I think, named Chase, or something preppy like that.
I know Levi’s watching me because in my peripheral vision I can see a few of the guys follow his line of sight straight to me.
I smile inwardly, deciding not to acknowledge that I’ve seen him yet.
What?! A girl’s got to play it cool
. I may not have the confidence to pull off all of the nonchalance that I’m going for, but I’m sure as heck going to give it my best shot.
“Oh, Hooker, you’re so in. Boss Man can’t look away. It’s driving him crazy that you haven’t looked his way yet. Keep it up ’til we reach the bar,” London advises, as she trails behind me holding my hand.
“I need a huge big drink,” is all I can muster as I try to compose myself. What I really want to do is run to him, wrap my arms around his neck, and whisper: “Trump, trump, trump!” while I kiss the heck out of him, all the while telling him that I’ve been an idiot, that I want more than a friendship with him. That I don’t want to just play euchre anymore. That I want his kisses, his touch. That I want all of him.
Maybe I’m crazy. What am I thinking, that I can do this?
“I don’t think I can do it tonight,” I share, as we lean on the bar waiting for Luke. As soon as he spots us, he holds up a finger signalling that he’ll be with us soon. I smile and mouth for him to take his time, I know he’s swamped.
“You can,” London starts, “we’ll have a few drinks, dance, then I’ll throw you to the wolf and be right here waiting if you get bitten too hard. But given the way that man is watching you, I’d say it’s all good in the ’hood.”
Luke slides up in front of us. “Sweetnesses, your wishes are my command, and please tell me if you wish for some Lukie and not a drinkie.” He eyes London up and down with a naughty gleam in his eye, and I straight out belly laugh at how ridiculous he can be sometimes. But I know he’s one of the sweetest guys ever. Too bad London has a thing for her new boss, because they’d actually be pretty cute together.
“We’ll have two Heinnies,” I motion at London and myself, “and two rye-and-Cokes for Brooke and Victoria.” I gesture to those girls as they dance behind us. “Thanks, Casanova,” I tease, placing my money on the bar. Being Ladies’ Night, it’s two-for-one drinks, so I can afford to be a big-spender.
“Nope, sorry, Braunnie. Your money’s no good here tonight. Boss’s orders. Go ask him yourself, he hasn’t taken his eyes off you yet, so I’m sure he’d like nothing more than you going over to thank him.” He nods over my shoulder to where I know Levi is. I don’t respond, except to simply nod, leaving a ten on the bar.
“Oh, my, it’s gonna be a good night for sure,” London yells, before demanding we move to the dance floor as Jason Derulos’ voice singing “Want To Want Me” takes over the speakers.
We end up in the middle of the dance floor for what feels like hours. Beth has been refilling our drinks on Luke’s orders, I assume, because I am definitely feeling all kinds of fuzzy, and I love it. Brooke and I bump and grind with each other, then with a few college guys who have woven their way into our little circle.
I have yet to make eye contact with Levi, but I know he knows I see him. I can feel it, the crackle of our chemistry when we get near each other is in the air, making me want to pursue it all that much more. I can feel a dull pulse beginning in my body as I think about Levi, and about going over to him, giving him my spiel, and then kissing the bejeezus out of him.
But rather than make my move, I keep dancing with the girls, again being a chickenshit. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s more because for the first time in years, I feel carefree. I feel alive, and honestly, the doubts are still lingering, so it’s easy to keep putting the big talk off.
Besides, I gave myself until the end of the night, right? Right.
So I might as well continue to have fun—to officially embrace the changes I’ve made. I’m friggin’ proud of myself, and for the way my life has been going since Shawn died. I never really stop and think about how far I’ve actually come. When I look back on the last four years, and see how far I’ve come, I feel kind of like Tarantino’s Beatrix Kiddo. So, with some extra pep in my step, I decide to stall a little bit longer and live it up with my girls.
Until some asshole on the dance floor pulls me into his raging hard-on while openly pawing at my chest.
“You are so fucking sexy right now! You need to come home with me,” is slurred loudly into my ear. I’m about to lose it when, suddenly, I’m airborne.
Airborne
, and staring upside-down at one hell of a fine ass as it walks us off the dance floor.
Levi.
My knight.
Levi
I
watch her
closely and I can’t keep the grin off my face.
My little Scrappy seems to have developed a bit of bravado tonight. I know she sees me too, but pretending not to; she’s just playing with me. I was up in the VIP section talking to a few old buddies from uni when I first spotted her. Fuck, she’s beautiful, and that fucking shirt she’s got on would look so much better in a heap on my floor.
You’re friends, Levi. Don’t think like that…yet
.
Fuck me, I need to get the hell out of this no-touch zone, and fast. I’m tired of these agonizing little touches here and there, my hand against the curve of her back when we walk at night, our arms brushing in the car, and, worst of all, our legs pressing against each other when we hang out watching a movie and she falls asleep and nestles up to my cheek.
I can’t take it for much longer.
Trump. Fucking trump.
My restraint is wearing way too fucking thin. I’ve never had my hand around my cock as much as I have since I met Braun.
Hell, just last week I needed to go jerk off in my office because she smelt so goddamned good when she brushed by me behind the bar. Her tits grazed my back as she passed, almost making me come in my pants. Tits that I was dying to bury my face in. I ended up high-tailing it out of there so fast that she popped by the office a while later to ask if I was okay.
Fuck, I’m so wound up by this girl.
“Holy fuck, there she is again,” Chase says, drawing my attention. “Dude, who’s the knockout brunette walking with that hot blonde over there? Tell me you know them.” Chase nods over to the crowd. “Help a brother out. I’m thinking maybe I could get in a tag team with those two at my place tonight, eh?” Chase adds from his spot beside me.
That fucker better not be talking about who I think he is.
I follow his line of sight, knowing Braun’s in that direction with her girlfriends, and seeing her front and centre, dancing without a care in the world with a tall blonde.
Motherfucker. The fuck did he just say? Tag team? Hells, no.
“Not a fucking chance. Chase, get your fucking eyes off of her right the fuck now,” I grit, my tone harsh. This asshole is nothing to me. The fuck if I’ll tolerate him talking about my girl like that.
“Easy there, dude,” he smirks, before raising his beer to his lips and taking a long swallow. “I didn’t know she was yours. Good job, man. She’s smokin’. Why don’t you call ’em over. I could always just watch.” Chase waits for my reaction, and then laughs when he sees my scowl. “Levi that girl is hot as fuck. You’re a lucky bastard.” He pats me on the back, but my patience has worn dangerously thin.
The conversation is over.
“Okay, okay, I’ll shut up now,” he finally says, the most intelligent thing he’s said all night.
Good fucking idea, asshole.
My fists unclench at my sides, and I feel the adrenaline starting to dissipate as he backs down. I nod my head, looking at my watch.
“Good to see ya and catch up, man, but I got shit to get done before close.” I clap his back, “Keep those eyes off my girl, eh?” I move to walk past him, his friends moving outta my way.
Just when I’m almost out of earshot, Chase calls me, “Levi, do me a solid though, brother. Bring that blonde over, anyway. She’ll do just fine,” he grins.
“No, I think we’ll say she’s off limits too.” I call back over my shoulder, walking away and deciding I’m done with the jackass.
I watch as Beth hands the girls another round. I gotta admit, I’m enjoying seeing Braunwyn cutting loose and having a good time with her girls. Luke and I knew they were coming here tonight, so I figured I was gonna be useless, wanting to spend my night keeping an eye on her. Luke even went so far as to joke that maybe we should bring in extra staff so I could sit and drool from afar all night long. He’s been on me to “make a move already”. Says I’m crazy if I don’t try and “stake my claim”. In the end, I told Luke to mind his own business where Braunwyn and I were concerned and to just make sure their drinks were on the house, but not to let them get sloppy.
I told Luke what happened, and apparently Chase had been sniffin’ around before talking to me, trying to get the deets on Braun. I should have punched that asshole when I had the chance. I’ll make sure I go back and have another a little chat if I see that fucker again tonight, that’s for sure. Slimy bastard, thinking he can move in on what’s meant to be mine. Luke is right. I need to stake my claim and fast.
I plan on driving Braun and the girls home at the end of the night, so I know they’ll all get home safely, but the last thing I want is for her to be feeling like shit in the morning.
*