Carlo and I went through rickety streets in the Denver night. The air was soft, the stars so fine, the promise of every cobbled alley so great, that I thought I was in a dream. We came to the rooming house where Dean haggled with Camille. It was an old red-brick building surrounded by wooden garages and old trees that stuck up from behind fences. We went up carpeted stairs. Carlo knocked; then he darted to the back to hide; he didn’t want Camille to see him. I stood in the door. Dean opened it stark naked. I saw a brunette on the bed, one beautiful creamy thigh covered with black lace, look up with mild wonder.
“Why, Sa-a-al!” said Dean. “Well now—ah—ahem—yes, of course, you’ve arrived—you old sonumbitch you finally got on that old road. Well, now, look here—we must—yes, yes, at once—we must, we really must! Now Camille—” And he swirled on her. “Sal is here, this is my old buddy from New Yor-r-k, this is his first night in Denver and it’s absolutely necessary for me to take him out and fix him up with a girl.”
“But what time will you be back?”
“It is now” (looking at his watch) “exactly one-fourteen. I shall be back at exactly
three
-fourteen, for our hour of reverie together, real sweet reverie, darling, and then, as you know, as I told you and as we agreed, I have to go and see the one-legged lawyer about those papers—in the middle of the night, strange as it seems and as I tho-ro-ly explained.” (This was a coverup for his rendezvous with Carlo, who was still hiding.) “So now in this exact minute I must dress, put on my pants, go back to life, that is to outside life, streets and what not, as we agreed, it is now one-
fifteen
and time’s running, running—”
“Well, all right, Dean, but please be sure and be back at three.”
“Just as I said, darling, and remember not three but three-fourteen. Are we straight in the deepest and most wonderful depths of our souls, dear darling?” And he went over and kissed her several times. On the wall was a nude drawing of Dean, enormous dangle and all, done by Camille. I was amazed. Everything was so crazy.
Off we rushed into the night; Carlo joined us in an alley. And we proceeded down the narrowest, strangest, and most crooked little city street I’ve ever seen, deep in the heart of Denver Mexican-town. We talked in loud voices in the sleeping stillness. “Sal,” said Dean, “I have just the girl waiting for you at this very minute—if she’s off duty” (looking at his watch). “A waitress, Rita Bettencourt, fine chick, slightly hung-up on a few sexual difficulties which I’ve tried to straighten up and I think you can manage, you fine gone daddy you. So we’ll go there at once—we must bring beer, no, they have some themselves, and damn!” he said socking his palm. “I’ve just got to get into her sister Mary tonight. ”
“What?” said Carlo. “I thought we were going to talk.”
“Yes, yes, after.”
“Oh, these Denver doldrums!” yelled Carlo to the sky.
“Isn’t he the finest sweetest fel-low in the world?” said Dean, punching me in the ribs. “Look at him. Look at him!” And Carlo began his monkey dance in the streets of life as I’d seen him do so many times everywhere in New York.
And all I could say was, “Well, what the hell are we doing in Denver?”
“Tomorrow, Sal, I know where I can find you a job,” said Dean, reverting to businesslike tones. “So I’ll call on you, soon as I have an hour off from Marylou, and cut right into that apartment of yours, say hello to Major, and take you on a trolley (damn, I’ve no car) to the Camargo markets, where you can begin working at once and collect a paycheck come Friday. We’re really all of us bottomly broke. I haven’t had time to work in weeks. Friday night beyond all doubt the three of us—the old threesome of Carlo, Dean, and Sal—must go to the midget auto races, and for that I can get us a ride from a guy downtown I know....” And on and on into the night.
We got to the house where the waitress sisters lived. The one for me was still working; the sister that Dean wanted was in. We sat down on her couch. I was scheduled at this time to call Ray Rawlins. I did. He came over at once. Coming into the door, he took off his shirt and undershirt and began hugging the absolute stranger, Mary Bettencourt. Bottles rolled on the floor. Three o‘clock came. Dean rushed off for his hour of reverie with Camille. He was back on time. The other sister showed up. We all needed a car now, and we were making too much noise. Ray Rawlins called up a buddy with a car. He came. We all piled in; Carlo was trying to conduct his scheduled talk with Dean in the back seat, but there was too much confusion. “Let’s all go to my apartment!” I shouted. We did; the moment the car stopped there I jumped out and stood on my head in the grass. All my keys fell out; I never found them. We ran, shouting, into the building. Roland Major stood barring our way in his silk dressing gown.
“I’ll have no goings-on like this in Tim Gray’s apartment!”
“What?” we all shouted. There was confusion. Rawlins was rolling in the grass with one of the waitresses. Major wouldn’t let us in. We swore to call Tim Gray and confirm the party and also invite him. Instead we all rushed back to the Denver downtown hangouts. I suddenly found myself alone in the street with no money. My last dollar was gone.
I walked five miles up Colfax to my comfortable bed in the apartment. Major had to let me in. I wondered if Dean and Carlo were having their heart-to-heart. I would find out later. The nights in Denver are cool, and I slept like a log.
8
Then everybody began planning a tremendous trek to the mountains. This started in the morning, together with a phone call that complicated matters—my old road friend Eddie, who took a blind chance and called; he remembered some of the names I had mentioned. Now I had the opportunity to get my shirt back. Eddie was with his girl in a house off Colfax. He wanted to know if I knew where to find work, and I told him to come over, figuring Dean would know. Dean arrived, hurrying, while Major and I were having a hasty breakfast. Dean wouldn’t even sit down. “I have a thousand things to do, in fact hardly any time to take you down Camargo, but let’s go, man.”
“Wait for my road buddy Eddie.”
Major found our hurrying troubles amusing. He’d come to Denver to write leisurely. He treated Dean with extreme deference. Dean paid no attention. Major talked to Dean like this; “Moriarty, what’s this I hear about you sleeping with three girls at the same time?” And Dean shuffled on the rug and said, “Oh yes, oh yes, that’s the way it goes,” and looked at his watch, and Major snuffed down his nose. I felt sheepish rushing off with Dean—Major insisted he was a moron and a fool. Of course he wasn‘t, and I wanted to prove it to everybody somehow.
We met Eddie. Dean paid no attention to him either, and off we went in a trolley across the hot Denver noon to find the jobs. I hated the thought of it. Eddie talked and talked the way he always did. We found a man in the markets who agreed to hire both of us; work started at four o‘clock in the morning and went till six P.M. The man said, “I like boys who like to work.”
“You’ve got your man,” said Eddie, but I wasn’t so sure about myself. “I just won’t sleep,” I decided. There were so many other interesting things to do.
Eddie showed up the next morning; I didn’t. I had a bed, and Major bought food for the icebox, and in exchange for that I cooked and washed the dishes. Meantime I got all involved in everything. A big party took place at the Rawlinses’ one night. The Rawlins mother was gone on a trip. Ray Rawlins called everybody he knew and told them to bring whisky; then he went through his address book for girls. He made me do most of the talking. A whole bunch of girls showed up. I phoned Carlo to find out what Dean was doing now. Dean was coming to Carlo’s at three in the morning. I went there after the party.
Carlo’s basement apartment was on Grant Street in an old red-brick rooming house near a church. You went down an alley, down some stone steps, opened an old raw door, and went through a kind of cellar till you came to his board door. It was like the room of a Russian saint: one bed, a candle burning, stone walls that oozed moisture, and a crazy makeshift ikon of some kind that he had made. He read me his poetry. It was called “Denver Doldrums.” Carlo woke up in the morning and heard the “vulgar pigeons” yakking in the street outside his cell; he saw the “sad nightingales” nodding on the branches and they reminded him of his mother. A gray shroud fell over the city. The mountains, the magnificent Rockies that you can see to the west from any part of town, were “papier-mâché.” The whole universe was crazy and cock-eyed and extremely strange. He wrote of Dean as a “child of the rainbow” who bore his torment in his agonized pria- pus. He referred to him as “Oedipus Eddie” who had to “scrape bubble gum off windowpanes.” He brooded in his basement over a huge journal in which he was keeping track of everything that happened every day—everything Dean did and said.
Dean came on schedule. “Everything’s straight,” he announced. “I’m going to divorce Marylou and marry Camille and go live with her in San Francisco. But this is only after you and I, dear Carlo, go to Texas, dig Old Bull Lee, that gone cat I’ve never met and both of you’ve told me so much about, and then I’ll go to San Fran.”
Then they got down to business. They sat on the bed crosslegged and looked straight at each other. I slouched in a nearby chair and saw all of it. They began with an abstract thought, discussed it; reminded each other of another abstract point forgotten in the rush of events; Dean apologized but promised he could get back to it and manage it fine, bringing up illustrations.
Carlo said, “And just as we were crossing Wazee I wanted to tell you about how I felt of your frenzy with the midgets and it was just then, remember, you pointed out that old bum with the baggy pants and said he looked just like your father?”
“Yes, yes, of course I remember; and not only that, but it started a train of my own, something real wild that I had to tell you, I’d forgotten it, now you just reminded me of it ...” and two new points were born. They hashed these over. Then Carlo asked Dean if he was honest and specifically if he was being honest with him in the bottom of his soul.
“Why do you bring that up again?”
“There’s one last thing I want to know—”
“But, dear Sal, you’re listening, you’re sitting there, we’ll ask Sal. What would he say?”
And I said, “That last thing is what you can’t get, Carlo. Nobody can get to that last thing. We keep on living in hopes of catching it once for all.”
“No, no, no, you’re talking absolute bullshit and Wolfean romantic posh!” said Carlo.
And Dean said, “I didn’t mean that at all, but we’ll let Sal have his own mind, and in fact, don’t you think, Carlo, there’s a kind of a dignity in the way he’s sitting there and digging us, crazy cat came all the way across the country—old Sal won’t tell, old Sal won’t tell.”
“It isn’t that I won’t tell,” I protested. “I just don’t know what you’re both driving at or trying to get at. I know it’s too much for anybody.”
“Everything you say is negative.”
“Then what is it you’re trying to do?”
“Tell him.”
“No, you tell him.”
“There’s nothing to tell,” I said and laughed. I had on Carlo’s hat. I pulled it down over my eyes. “I want to sleep,” I said.
“Poor Sal always wants to sleep.” I kept quiet. They started in again. “When you borrowed that nickel to make up the check for the chicken-fried steaks—”
“No, man, the chili! Remember, the Texas Star?”
“I was mixing it with Tuesday. When you borrowed that nickel you said, now listen, you said, ‘Carlo, this is the last time I’ll impose on you,’ as if, and really, you meant that I had agreed with you about no more imposing.”
“No, no, no, I didn’t mean that—you harken back now if you will, my dear fellow, to the night Marylou was crying in the room, and when, turning to you and indicating by my extra added sincerity of tone which we both knew was contrived but had its intention, that is, by my play-acting I showed that—But wait, that isn’t it.”
“Of course that isn’t it! Because you forget that—But I’ll stop accusing you. Yes is what I said ...” And on, on into the night they talked like this. At dawn I looked up. They were tying up the last of the morning’s matters. “When I said to you that I had to sleep because of Marylou, that is, seeing her this morning at ten, I didn’t bring my peremptory tone to bear in regard to what you’d just said about the unnecessariness of sleep but only, only, mind you, because of the fact that I absolutely, simply, purely and without any whatevers have to sleep now, I mean, man, my eyes are closing, they’re redhot, sore, tired, beat ...”
“Ah, child,” said Carlo.
“We’ll just have to sleep now. Let’s stop the machine.”
“You can’t stop the machine!” yelled Carlo at the top of his voice. The first birds sang.
“Now, when I raise my hand,” said Dean, “we’ll stop talking, we’ll both understand purely and without any hassle that we are simply stopping talking, and we’ll just sleep.”
“You can’t stop the machine like that.”
“Stop the machine,” I said. They looked at me.
“He’s been awake all this time, listening. What were you thinking, Sal?” I told them that I was thinking they were very amazing maniacs and that I had spent the whole night listening to them like a man watching the mechanism of a watch that reached clear to the top of Berthoud Pass and yet was made with the smallest works of the most delicate watch in the world. They smiled. I pointed my finger at them and said, “If you keep this up you’ll both go crazy, but let me know what happens as you go along.”
I walked out and took a trolley to my apartment, and Carlo Marx’s papier-mâçhé mountains grew red as the great sun rose from the eastward plains.
9
In the evening
I was involved in that trek to the mountains and didn’t see Dean or Carlo for five days. Babe Rawlins had the use of her employer’s car for the weekend. We brought suits and hung them on the car windows and took off for Central City, Ray Rawlins driving, Tim Gray lounging in the back, and Babe up front. It was my first view of the interior of the Rockies. Central City is an old mining town that was once called the Richest Square Mile in the World, where a veritable shelf of silver had been found by the old buzzards who roamed the hills. They grew wealthy overnight and had a beautiful little opera house built in the midst of their shacks on the steep slope. Lillian Russell had come there, and opera stars from Europe. Then Central City became a ghost town, till the energetic Chamber of Commerce types of the new West decided to revive the place. They polished up the opera house, and every summer stars from the Metropolitan came out and performed. It was a big vacation for everybody. Tourists came from everywhere, even Hollywood stars. We drove up the mountain and found the narrow streets chock full of chichi tourists. I thought of Major’s Sam, and Major was right. Major himself was there, turning on his big social smile to everybody and ooh-ing and aah-ing most sincerely over everything. “Sal,” he cried, clutching my arm, “just look at this old town. Think how it was a hundred—what the hell, only eighty, sixty years ago; they had opera!”