Read On the Outside (Caught Inside #3) Online
Authors: S. Briones Lim
“What the fuck are you doing?” Xavier’s voice boomed.
Gasps and even a scream sounded through the restaurant as shocked onlookers jumped to their feet. Wincing as I heard the telltale sound of breaking glass, I couldn’t help but think,
Great. There goes my anonymity
.
The petite woman’s weight was lifted off my body and I immediately scrambled to my feet. My chest heaved up and down, mirroring my pounding heart. I took an involuntary step back when the woman began thrashing against Xavier’s arm, which flexed around her tiny waist. He held her against his body, making her look like a young child throwing a tantrum.
“What is your problem? How old are you now?” he demanded. “Why are you attacking her? You know how I feel about her.”
I was too freaked out to even comprehend his words, though looking back I shouldn’t have taken them so lightly.
“Don’t you know who that is?” Her voice sounded high pitched and squeaky. Almost like a cartoon mouse or a little girl who had sucked on helium.
“Yes, she’s the actress I told you about. You know, the one I asked you advice on…” His voice trailed off. The skin around his clavicle reddened, looking splotchy and painful to the touch.
“You told me you were teaching someone to surf. You didn’t tell me her name, you didn’t tell me you were working with an actress, and you didn’t tell me it was
her!”
The way she talked about me made me feel even tinier than all the tabloid rumors about me combined. I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the familiar twinges of self-pity and sadness all over again.
I shook my head.
No.
I would not let anybody make me feel worthless again. Especially someone I didn’t know.
FLASH.
“Why
wouldn’t
someone take a photo of this?” I muttered. Shaking my head, I lifted my chin, allowing the earlier feelings of anxiety to melt away. After being attacked, nervousness was the least of my problems. I peered at the woman I had once sought to impress and sneered. “If this is about those rumors in the tabloids, you’ve got to let it go, hun. I didn’t do anything to you.”
My voice was cool and calculated. For once I was going to look like the mature one. I was quite proud of myself and hoped that the tabloids got a hold of this.
Her eyes narrowed into two tiny slits. The way she scrutinized me reminded me of a snake getting ready to bite.
Xavier groaned in frustration. “Kacy, what is your deal?”
The blood immediately drained from my face. “Kacy?”
The little chipmunk voice piped up. “You did something to me the moment you slept with my best friend’s ex!”
Xavier’s hold on her immediately loosened. Kacy’s face looked triumphant, and judging by the way she rose onto the balls of her feet, I was certain she was prepping for a flying leap. To my relief, the manager of the restaurant chose that moment to show up and grab Kacy’s twiggy arm.
“Hey!” she gasped. “Let go of me!”
“Ma’am, if you don’t leave now I’ll have to call the police.”
I felt a glimmer of hope rise in my chest. Maybe I wasn’t about to get my ass beat after all. Sure, she was a lot tinier than me, but judging by her toned arms she had a great deal of upper body strength.
She’s probably a surfer too.
“Then call the cops!” she snapped angrily.
Xavier and I gasped in unison.
“Kacy,” he warned. “Do you think Miles would appreciate bailing his wife out of prison?”
She rolled her eyes and pulled her arm away from the manager’s grip. “Fine. I’ll leave.” Her head whipped around and once again I was met with her glare. “You—meet me outside.”
My lip trembling, I shook my head. “Why do you think I’d agree to that?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Suit yourself, but either way you
will
be talking to me. If you want to live in fear about when that’ll be, then go ahead and run away right now. However, if you want to get the inevitable over with, meet me in the parking lot.”
“Are you threatening me?” I let out a shrill laugh.
To my dismay the tenacious woman did not budge. “Yes, I am.”
***
“Can someone tell me what the hell is going on here?” Xavier paced beside his car, shaking his head furiously. “Can someone tell me why my little sister was about to beat the woman I…never mind.”
Even in my nervous state, I couldn’t help but feel a burst of hope in my chest. Maybe he liked me too. Keyword,
liked—
past tense
.
If his sister had anything to do with it, she’d probably have him shipped halfway across the world to get him away from me.
“How could you not know about Miss Harper Montgomery?” Kacy let out a gagging noise and snorted. “This slut bag was all over the news!”
“Entertainment news,” Xavier snapped. “You know I don’t follow that shit. It clouds my judgment when we’re casting for projects. I care about the actors, not their personal lives.”
Oh, so that explains why I was cast.
I didn’t know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult. Sure, they cast me based solely on my acting abilities, but then again if Xavier knew about my past would he even have given me the time of day? I guess I had no choice but to find out now.
His gaze flew in my direction. “What’s the deal with you two? This seems more personal than a tabloid rumor.”
My cheeks burned from the Greenes’ scrutiny, and I suddenly lost all ability to speak. Of course, Kacy had no problem filling in the blanks for me.
“She slept with Aaron! You know, our ‘sister-from-another-mister’s’ ex-fiancé!” Kacy just about screamed. “She’s a bad person, Xavier. I can’t believe you actually wanted to give her the time of day.”
“How can you judge me based off stupid tabloids and blogs?” Sweat began to pool at the base of my neck. I felt myself shaking in anger. Unfortunately, I felt my eyes welling up too. I had the stupid Montgomery trait of breaking into tears whenever I got super emotional. Trying my best to fight through the anger, I sucked up a sob and gritted my teeth. “You know nothing about me.”
“Oh, so you didn’t sleep with Aaron?”
“I…” My voice trailed off.
Kacy arched an eyebrow. “Thought so.”
“What does it matter, anyway? Riley and Aaron broke up eons ago.” It was as if my mouth was running by itself. I had no idea what I was saying until I heard myself speak.
“It’s called friendship, dipshit. And it’s called respect. Obviously you know nothing of either concept.”
I shook my head feverishly. “I’m sure you’re just mad because Riley’s closer to me than she is with you. Otherwise—” I gasped and jumped back when I saw Kacy’s hand flying toward my face. To my relief, Xavier grabbed her arm before her palm landed on my cheek.
“Fuck, Kacy. Stop! Haven’t you learned not to slap people anymore? You know what trouble it gets you in.”
She does this all the time? What the fuck.
“I slap those who deserve it,” she said nonchalantly.
Groaning, he dropped her wrist. “You know what? Harper’s right.”
“What?” Kacy shrieked.
“Riley and Aaron did break up a long time ago.”
I lifted my chin happily. I wanted to break out into song and dance. Xavier was taking my side!
“But it was disrespectful not to check with Riley first to see if she had any feelings left for the asshole.” There was something strange in Xavier’s tone, but I had no time to overthink its implications.
“Well,
I
don’t have feelings for him,” I insisted.
“So you slept with him just for the fun of it? Or do you really crave dick that much?” Kacy snapped.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You don’t know me. You have no right to judge me. In fact, I’m fucking sick of everyone judging me without all the facts. I’m a nice person. I’m a nice girl!”
“Glad you admit you’re a child and not a grown ass woman,” I heard Kacy mutter.
Xavier sighed. “Kace, let’s go back to my place so you can cool down.” He turned and looked at me. “Harper?”
“Yeah?” I replied meekly.
“If you know Riley as well as you think you do, then you should have known to check with her before you hooked up with her ex.”
It was weird hearing Xavier talk about Riley. It was even stranger to think he knew her longer and possibly better than I did.
“It just happened. It was an accident,” I whispered.
“His dick accidentally landed in your vagina?” Kacy snorted.
I scowled. “Don’t act like you know what went on that night. How well do you really know me?”
“She’s not,” Xavier interjected. With a cold face he added, “I’m beginning to think I don’t know you too well either.”
“What does it matter if I slept with him? They’re broken up!” I felt like scum saying those words. I was no better than Aaron. Yet, I was desperate for Xavier to see that I really wasn’t a bad person. I made a mistake, but so what? I was only human! I was far from perfect and I couldn’t help but wonder why people could act as if they’d never made a mistake either.
As expected, Kacy scowled. “It’s called respect. You know perfectly well that if you really did care about Aaron, Riley wouldn’t have stopped you from pursuing him, but to hear about it from the media? To feel lied to and—”
“And what?” I asked hesitantly, though part of me knew what she was going to say.
Kacy crossed her thin arms tightly against her chest and lifted an eyebrow. “And to wonder if this was going on the whole time she dated him was pretty hard to swallow.”
I gasped and shot a look at Xavier. The stone cold look on his face did not make me feel any better. “Kacy, you know that’s not true.”
“How would I know that?” she snapped. “Like you said before, I don’t even know you.”
“Yet you can throw these ridiculous accusations at me? Pretend that you know what happened?”
She crossed her arms haughtily. “I saw the photos. Riley saw the photos.”
“But—”
“Enough!” Xavier yelled, frightening us both. He turned to Kacy and tugged at her arm. “Let’s go.”
“Whatever.” Kacy yanked her arm back and walked around the car to claim her seat—
my
usual spot on the passenger side.
I gulped, staring at Xavier’s back. He wouldn’t even throw a final glance my way. Was he really that mad at me? Would he ever see me the way I saw him? Better yet, would I even see him again?
“Wait!” I called out before I knew what he was doing.
Kacy peered through an open window, but Xavier merely froze.
“What do you want, bitch?” Kacy sneered.
“I…the movie…” I could feel myself cringe. Of all the things I could have said.
Xavier I have feelings for you!
I didn’t mean for it to happen!
Please, stay.
Now all he would think I cared about was the stupid role that I didn’t even want to begin with.
Kacy threw her head back and let out what I could only describe as a war cry. “Of course your stupid Tinsel Town airhead would only care about the movie. Don’t worry, I’ll let Riley know that you—”
“Kace, enough!” Xavier’s shoulders rose and fell. His fist tightened, clenching and unclenching. “We’ll discuss this later.”
I gulped. “Who…”
“
We’ll
discuss this later.” Xavier pushed forward without bothering to throw a glance.
“You didn’t answer my question. Who were you talking about?” I mumbled, staring down at my feet. I braved one look up and spotted the siblings jumping into Xavier’s car and driving off.
A week later…
Call time was at five in the morning.
Five in the morning!
I didn’t even know there
was
a five in the morning. Okay, I’m exaggerating a bit there, but you get my drift.
After a week of silence from Xavier—not to mention a week of
no
surf lessons—I suddenly found myself heading toward the first day of shooting, silently cursing my fateful instructor on the way. As luck—or rather bad luck—would have it, Wyatt emailed the cast to inform us that our shooting schedule had to be shuffled around. Due to weather, money, and some other bullshit, our first scenes to shoot would be at the beach! How the hell was I supposed to surf without Xavier there with me?
“Don’t worry, Harper. They’ll just fire you on your first day on set. No biggie.” Gripping my brand new tumbler in hand (I chucked the Bennington cursed one eons ago), I climbed the steps to the makeup trailer and sighed. The first day of anything is always difficult. Add some self-absorbed actors, anal retentive producers, and a clueless actress, and you have yourself a deadly cocktail.
“Harper?” a small voice, which sounded a whole lot like Kacy, called out to me.
I turned in a hurry, knocking over a container of makeup brushes. A small woman with jet black hair and fiery almond shaped eyes lunged forward before the brushes scattered across the floor.
“I’m sorry!” I yelped. “It’s just—”
“Too early,” she finished for me. “No worries. You’re lucky I’m a morning person. My name is Piper, by the way. I’ll be doing your makeup throughout the film.”
A kind smile spread across her face and I immediately calmed. “Thanks…it’s nice to be greeted by a nice face for once.”
“Do people hate you or something?” The petite Asian woman pointed to a nearby makeup chair and grabbed a black dressing gown. As she shook the garment out I couldn’t help but think it looked vaguely similar to a vampire’s cape. Hopefully that wasn’t another bad omen about this movie. Needless to say I’d had enough already.
I took my seat, wiggling my ass into the uncomfortable cushion, and gulped. “They probably do. You know, because of rumors and all that jazz.”
“Ah, say no more. Once I did makeup for the nicest actress ever. And I mean
ever.
If there was a competition for sweetness, she would have taken the crown hands down.” She waved a perfectly manicured hand in the air as she spoke. Face falling, she clucked, “I felt extremely bad for her.”
My ears perked up. “Oh? How come? What happened to her?”
“There was a whole online forum of people just trolling and hating on her, all because of some farfetched rumors. I had no idea how she found the courage to face the public day after day. You know what, though?”
“What?” I just about whispered.
“It made her a stronger person. She even won an Oscar last year.”
That certainly piqued my interest. “Who are you talking about?”
She wagged a hot pink fingernail at me. “Sorry, not at liberty to divulge that information. Just take my word for it.”
“Uh, okay…”
Her prim features broke out into a sincere smile. “You
will
get through whatever crap you’re facing right now. It must rain for flowers to grow, you know.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before.” A soft smile tickled my lips.
“And sometimes you just have to hear it again.” She stomped on a pedal under my seat, causing me to rise up a few inches. “Now sit back and let me make you even prettier than you already are.”
I gripped my plastic tumbler and felt my smile grow wider. Maybe there were still nice people in this world…
Even if at times I didn’t feel like one of them.
***
“Why are you holding the board like that?” Wyatt stomped over to me and practically slapped the longboard out of my hand.
Gasping, I struggled to prop the baby blue monstrosity against my hip. “Holding what like what?”
“Holding that board like you’ve never surfed before.” He pursed his lips and eyed me up and down. “You’re really not giving me much confidence, Montgomery. Based on your resume and what Xavier said about you, I thought you’d be able to handle this role.”
“Don’t worry. I got this. I’m good.” It was a blatant lie. I wondered if Wyatt could see through it. If he could, it’d just be further evidence that I wasn’t as great of an actress as I made myself out to be.
The realization was sickening.
My director ran his thick hand through his sun-bleached hair and nodded once. “Fine. Just don’t drown out there. This movie’s over budget enough as it is; I don’t need a wrongful death suit waiting for me.”
Before I could reply, he turned toward his seat, which was perched at the edge of the pier, muttering curse words under his breath. I shook my head and scowled. “What a jerk.”
“Yeah. Such a jerk,” Piper agreed, appearing next to me. Smiling, she rose on her tip-toes and fussed with my hair, which I thought was a waste of time given I’d have to jump in the ocean soon…to surf, which I still had no idea how to do.
“Hey, have you seen Xavier Greene? You know, our producer?” I glanced around and felt my lips tremble. I’d never been in the water without him by my side. Though I didn’t expect him to show up at the eleventh hour to save me, I couldn’t help but hope there was a slight possibility that he would.
Piper frowned in confusion. “Oh, you didn’t hear?”
The blood instantly drained from my face. “Hear what?”
He couldn’t have quit, could he? Unless he was closer to Riley than I thought…
“He’ll be gone for the next two days. He volunteered to do some bitch work for Wyatt, which was really nice…and odd.” Piper shrugged her slim shoulders and continued to fuss with my hair. “He’s about as egotistical as Wyatt is. I’m really surprised he went along with it.”
“I’m not,” I whispered.
“What was that?”
“Never mind.” I shook my head and eyed the pounding California surf. Letting out a small whimper, I muttered, “Let’s just get on with this.”
Piper threw me a strange look and took a step away from me. “Good luck.”
I nodded my head, trying to soak in all the good luck I could muster.
Xavier wasn’t kidding about Wyatt. After some overly meticulous blocking and lighting, I finally took my place at the shore. Dipping my feet into the ice cold water, I stared out into the ocean and felt myself relax with the feel of the sun beating on my back. It was finally time to escape into the land I loved—acting. It was quite fitting that my first shot would be a solo. Though I was sure that working with Charlie would be a lot better than working with Coby, I was a bit happy that I wouldn’t have to worry about anyone but myself—for a day at least.
“Harper! You ready or are you just going to stand there daydreaming all day?” Wyatt shouted through a bullhorn.
And maybe worry about Wyatt.
I winced at the electrical feedback and took a few deep breaths. I hated Wyatt. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Actually there was one but—he was my boss and right now I couldn’t afford to lose another job. I just had to grin and bear it.
“Sorry, Wyatt! Just trying to get into character.”
Wyatt let out an audible snort before shouting, “Action!”
I took one last deep breath and stepped into the ocean. For my first scene I didn’t need to speak any lines. However, I felt as petrified as I would be if I had to recite the entire
Iliad
.
“I said action!” Wyatt practically screamed, prompting me to walk farther out into the waves. I bit back a gasp as the cold water splashed against my bare thighs. The marine layer hadn’t fully dissipated from the sky, leaving the water a lot colder than I would have liked. As I waded into deeper waters, I felt as if ice cold knives were stabbing at my body. I fought back a shiver and walked forward until I was halfway submerged in the water.
Trying my hardest to remember Xavier’s lessons, I placed my board onto the water and began to paddle out beyond the break. Each splash of ice water made me further question my sanity. Why the fuck did I agree to this movie?
To my relief I made it out past shore break, allowing myself to relax until I was sitting pretty on top of my board staring out into the horizon. A small part of me hoped there wouldn’t be any good waves to catch, but of course life—and karma—liked throwing obstacles in my way. I must have been a real bitch in a past life.
Like you are in this one?
I grunted in annoyance, but remembering the camera was on me, I tried my best to place a serene expression on my face. Of course that serenity didn’t last too long.
“A wave’s shouldering behind you! You better catch this one!” Wyatt’s ear piercing voice screamed above the roar of the ocean.
Nodding my head in self-affirmation, I spun my board around and threw my stomach onto the epoxy surface.
“You can do this, Harper. Remember Xavier’s lessons,” I muttered under my breath. A good amount of saltwater entered my mouth, causing me to gag. Deciding that speaking his lessons out loud was probably a bad idea, I resigned to thinking about them.
Jump on the board and paddle out
…
Prop up on your board
…
Read the waves
…
Go!
I zoned out, allowing muscle memory to take over. Unfortunately, muscle memory didn’t work if you were extremely bad at what you were doing.
“Argh!” I screamed out loud as I pearled off my board, flying over the nose. Soon I found myself underwater, completely disoriented. In the dark ocean I had no idea which direction was up and which was the path to drowning.
Don’t embarrass yourself again, Harper. You can do this. Just blow an air bubble. Whichever way it floats is up.
Ignoring the thrashing of my heart, I blew an air bubble and watched it float away from me. Following its path, I finally surfaced and swam toward my board, which was bobbing as calmly as could be.
“What the heck was that?” Wyatt’s annoying voice boomed over his loudspeaker as soon as I surfaced. “Go back and try it again!”
“Great to know you care about my well-being.” I rolled my eyes and pulled myself onto the board. Sliding my body against the bumpy surf wax, I felt my resolve weakening. “Who am I kidding? I can’t do this. Why am I even subjecting everyone to my stupidity?”
Groaning, I paddled back outside the thrashing waves. Pushing myself up, I ignored the angry yells coming from my beloved director and just took a moment to center myself. However, despite how much I tried I could not relax. There was no way I’d be able to do this…at least without Xavier. I might as well pack up and start heading home. I was sure there was a line of women ready and willing to take my role.
“Can you at least try?” Wyatt screamed again.
With a shaky nod I tried again…and again…and again. By my fourth wipeout I paddled toward shore—toward expressions of doubt, anger, and…
Xavier?