On the Fly (Crimson Romance) (19 page)

Jacey nodded over her shoulder before winding her way through the throng of people. Luckily, the ladies’ room was spacious. Women crowded in front of the mirrors, fluffing their hair and powdering their noses, touching up lipstick. A few smiled at her; some shot catty looks.

She walked over to the stalls. “Uh … Lauren?” A pale-looking girl at a sink turned around. She appeared to be about Dylan’s age. Very pretty, honey blonde hair curled around her face, which was currently tinted green to match her eyes. Lauren swallowed and leaned against the wall.

“Hi … I’m Jacey. Dylan wanted me to tell you he’d still like to drive you home if you changed your mind. He feels bad you didn’t get to spend time together.”

Lauren’s coloring improved a little, and she smiled tentatively. “He’s really nice. I think I’ll go find him.”

“Good.” Jacey patted Lauren’s shoulder in passing. Washing her hands, she tried to ignore the mean stares from the Phlynn-addicts who hadn’t won their idol. It wasn’t
her
fault Barbie had deep pockets. She made it a point to smile at them extra sweetly as she dried her hands then strode out of the bathroom.

Before she made it back to the dance floor, a big hand curled around her wrist and tugged her into the shadows, ushering her up against the wall. Even in the low light, Carter was unmistakable. And ridiculously desirable, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. She shook her hand free and swatted his shoulder, whispering, “What are you
doing?
”

“What were
you
doing, dancing with Cole like that?”

“Are you kidding me?”

Carter slid a hand over his face and appeared to think through his answer. “I’m sorry.”

When her only answer was only to stare at him, he said, “Everything keeps coming out wrong.”

“Shocker. That’s not like you at all.”

He hesitated a fraction of a second before stepping forward and pressing her to the wall, his mouth covering hers in a possessive kiss. Carter set his hands on her hips, and his fingers curled around to press into the exposed skin of her lower back.

Heat shot southward from her face all the way down to curl her toes. Her hand slid up to cup Carter’s neck of its own volition.
Traitor
.

He leaned into her and kissed along her jaw, down to her shoulder, then followed the deep V of her dress. Rational thought melted away as his warm lips skimmed her skin. His tongue darted in the hollow of her neck. Heat rolled down her body, and her knees were two seconds from giving out. In that moment she wanted him more than she’d wanted anything in her life.

Flashing cameras in her peripheral vision broke the spell. Reality came back, and she pushed him away, gasping. She stepped away for good measure and looked around to make sure no one had been watching. Relief almost took out her knees when she saw the cameras were pointed at the dance floor.

“Are you
insane?
”

Carter leaned one hand on the wall, trying to catch his own breath. “
Folie à deux
,” he panted with a pointed look.

A madness shared by two. Appropriate.

“Don’t you quip at me in French right now.” Jacey released a slow, shaky breath. “And what
is
this? You don’t want anyone to think we’re a couple, but it’s okay to shanghai me in the shadows? You were angry about the deal I made, and I’m
mad
at you for being a jerk.”

“None of that matters. That’s what I’m trying to say. I was a jerk, and I’m sorry. But I can’t
not
be with you. I tried. It’s not working.”

Her mouth opened, but nothing came out at first. She shook her head and stepped around him. “Try harder.”

Carter caught her hand. “Jacey. I know we can’t be public yet, and I don’t know how we’ll work this out. But I know I want to. And that’s more than I’ve ever been able to say to anyone.”

Her heart skipped at the words and the stark honesty on his face. He had a real talent for erasing her ability to string a sentence together. But that wasn’t enough to warrant throwing their lives away. It couldn’t be.

“We just came dangerously close to not only making national news but to being arrested for public indecency. I can’t, Carter. We can’t.”

She turned, but he held her elbow. “Wait. Tell me you don’t feel anything. It’s been making me crazy that I can’t even talk to you. I thought this would go away, but it hasn’t. It won’t. Whatever we have — it isn’t some passing thing for me.”

Everything. He’d said everything she wanted to hear, everything she’d imagined him saying for the last month. Everything she felt he reflected back at her. Tears threatened to smear her mascara, and she wiped at them with as much poise as she could muster, fully aware they had two hundred potential witnesses.

“I … ” She shook her head. She knew what she had to say, but the words wouldn’t come out. “I went to a Board of Governors meeting two days ago. Only one owner would talk to me, and I think it was because he felt bad for me. They
already
don’t want me in their club, and this is only after rumors. If we were
really
together … ” The unveiled hurt on his face broke her heart. “Carter — ”

“No. You don’t have to explain. Excuse me.”

He angled around her and disappeared into the crowd. She took two steps to follow but stopped. Every cell in her body screamed to go after him, but she couldn’t. This was for the best. If only she believed that.

Friday, February 3rd

Carter circled around the goal, deked left then fired a slap shot over Reese’s shoulder. The net-minder swore and smacked his stick against the crossbar. “You go to the All Star game, and now you’re the shit?”

Carter smiled. “What do you mean,
now
? You’re just jealous, Reesey.”

His friend snorted and grabbed the plastic bottle off the back of the net to squirt water through his mask. “Whatever, dude.”

Nealy blew her whistle. “That’s enough for today. Hit the showers. Phlynn, nice shot but no one likes a showoff.” His teammates snickered and nudged his shoulder or hit him on the backside with their stick blades as they headed down the runway to the locker room. Nealy followed them, though she turned down the corridor to the lower concourse. Carter hung around on the ice and glanced up at the seats behind the players’ bench. All practice, Madden Vaughn had sat and watched. He made no move to talk to Nealy or the assistant coaches, and he hadn’t budged when everyone else left. Great.

Carter unhooked his helmet and removed it. Exhausted but wary, he shook off his gloves and slid a hand over his sweaty face back through his drenched hair. “Something I can do for you?”

Madden stood, shoulders squared. The guy probably could’ve played hockey if he had any skating ability. Hard to tell. “I was hoping I could talk to you.”

“What about?” Carter had a sinking feeling he already knew.

“Someone I think we both care a lot about.”

Damn
.

“Look. I don’t know what she told you, but we’re not — ”

“Can we just talk? Please?”

Damnedest thing, but the kid had the same pleading, guileless look as his sister. Must be genetic. Jacey had the edge with her smokin’ body, but Carter would bet Madden had gotten himself out of many an in-school suspension in his day.

He did not want to talk. In the last two months, he’d focused on his sport, threw himself into it with everything he had. The All Star game proved a good distraction. Staff meetings were hell. Every other week he’d sit across the boardroom table from her, staring out the window. It killed him to be so close. At first, after the auction, she’d tried to catch his gaze, maybe apologize. He didn’t want an apology. Truth was, Jacey still haunted his dreams and the quiet corners of his mind. She didn’t have a room in his heart; she’d carved herself an entire wing. He’d tried like hell to close it off, but there it stayed. And now kid brother wanted to take a tour.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He gathered his equipment, skated toward the runway.

“She’s miserable.”

Just two words, but he dug in the edges of his blades and stopped. As it sank in, his shoulders slumped, and he hated himself for it. He’d laid his heart out at the bachelor auction, begged her for a chance, but she’d turned him down. It had been a new experience for him, though his ego wasn’t the issue. Not really. He’d meant everything he said. Jacey woke some dormant part of him he didn’t even know existed. He wanted her, body and soul, more than he’d ever wanted anything — even the Stanley Cup. That thought made him drop his equipment and glide to the glass. “Talk.”

Madden moved to the aisle and down the few steps to face him. They were alone in the rink, but the kid kept his voice low anyway. “Something happened at the bachelor auction. She wouldn’t tell me what exactly, but I know whatever it was put the brakes on for you two. I know because since then she mopes around the house in fuzzy socks and ugly, over-sized T-shirts. That’s not my sister. I haven’t seen her like this since that asshole Alex, and even then … ” He shook his head.

Inside, part of Carter smiled at the thought of Jacey in a big T-shirt and socks. The woman could make anything sexy. But he hated the idea of her hurting. Even though he’d done everything he could to open himself up and be with her, deep down he understood her reasons. And knowing she suffered as much as he did … it put a new perspective on things. Hope tried to edge its way forward. He pushed it back. “She doesn’t get dressed on the weekends. So?”

“It’s not just that. I know her, okay? On the outside she’s all tough and professional, but underneath, this is killing her. Jacey really cares about you. And she’d flay me if she knew I was telling you this.”

“That begs the question … why are you?” It didn’t seem like the guy had an angle, but with Madden’s track record, it was hard to know for sure. Could he really put his sister before himself? Carter turned it over but couldn’t come up with a hidden motive for this secret meeting.

“I love her. She’s all the family I have left. Truth is, she’s all the family I ever had. I was three when our mom died. I don’t even remember her. Our dad was there but not there; he was always so busy. We had nannies, but Jacey always watched out for me. Always. She’s taken care of me her whole life, and I owe her more than I can ever repay her.” The bravado completely vanished, and Madden’s eyes shone with tears held in check.

So it was true. The image Carter had conjured of her matched reality. It didn’t surprise him in the least to know how Jacey the list-maker and caretaker came to be. But his heart cracked a little more. If what Madden said were true, she did feel the same way. She did want to be with him. And she’d proved herself the stronger one when she turned him down.

“I’m not saying I know how this could work. You still have the same problems. I just see her struggling keeping the team business in line and trying to sell our place, and I think … she deserves something good. And maybe that could be you if you’re careful about it. I could do my part with the reporter. Keep her distracted.”

Selling the house. So lost in himself, Carter had forgotten. The kid was lucky for the Plexiglas between them because Carter had the urge to crosscheck him for adding to Jacey’s grief. The irony of his indignation hit him. Pot, meet kettle. In the race to complicate Jacey’s life, he and Madden were just about even. If he were being honest, the thought of seeing her — even if it had to be in secret — had his pulse picking up speed. And not only the sex. God help him, he’d be happy to sit on the couch with her and watch
Sports Night
. To just be
next
to her. It was not a good idea. Then again, he wasn’t known for those anyway.

“I’ve seen the way you look at her when you think no one’s watching. It’s the same way she looks at you.”

Carter froze and locked eyes with the kid. To his credit, Madden didn’t flinch like most of the men Carter stared down in face-offs. The words made the bottom drop out of his stomach because even
he
hadn’t realized he still looked at Jacey that way. He hoped no one else noticed. After a silent beat, he nodded.

Madden blew out a deep breath, and his big frame seemed to relax. “All right. Well, I said my piece. Thanks for listening.” He jumped up a few steps then looked over his shoulder. “Oh. And if you hurt my sister, I’ll kick your ass.”

Carter could tell it wasn’t an empty threat, and half a smile escaped before he could stop it. “Duly noted.”

Madden disappeared into the upper concourse. Carter breathed in the crisp smell of wet ice, tipped his head back and stared at the metal beams of the rafters. “Just so we’re clear, if this is a test, I’m about to fail.”

Saturday, February 11th

After a long day of errands, a hot shower felt amazing. Jacey threw on her usual loungewear and pulled her curls on top of her head with an elastic band. She didn’t bother with makeup. Another Saturday night in. Should she be out, making an effort to have a life? The thought of going to a club and trying to make conversation with random men made her stomach hurt. There was only one man she wanted. And despite her very rational brain, she couldn’t settle for someone else. She could tell herself she’d get over Carter eventually, but at the moment she hadn’t quite reached the level of self-deception that would allow her to believe she was ready to date another man.

Jacey heard a door close down the hall. Her brother must have another date. Week after week, he claimed he went out to roam the city, but she knew his tells. She headed him off at the steps. Madden, all spiffed up, gave her a once-over and cringed. “Again, Sis?”

“Can we skip the lecture this week? This is how I
want
to spend my night. Where are you going?”

“Just, you know, out.”

“I could smell your cologne from ten feet away, and those are new clothes.”

“Okay, I have a date.” He looked away, smoothed his black, button-down shirt, his blue satin tie.

“And you’ve
been
going out on dates, am I right? With Linden.”

Surprise and a little fear showed in his eyes. “No, I mean … all right, yeah. But I’m careful. We don’t talk about the team or you or anything. And if I keep her preoccupied, maybe she won’t notice if you and Phlynn — ”