On a Snowy Christmas Night (15 page)

“What can I get you?” Mrs. McAllister asked the second she spotted Shea. “Coffee, hot chocolate, tea?”

Rachel stood at the stove, but at her mother’s voice she abruptly turned, her anxious gaze sizing Shea up from head to toe. “I’m frying bacon, but we also have ham and sausage and the biscuits are in the oven. How do you like your eggs? I make a mean veggie-and-cheese omelet.”

“For heaven’s sake, would you let her answer me?” Mrs. McAllister pulled out a chair at the kitchen table. “I know you drink coffee but we’re stocked with the aforementioned.”

“Coffee sounds really good.” Shea hesitated, eyeing the coffeemaker sitting to the right of the modern cook-top stove. Marked stainless-steel canisters of flour and sugar and platters of meat crowded the beautiful pearl-gray granite countertops. “I can pour it myself.”

“So can I. Please sit.”

Shea meekly did as she was told, murmuring, “Thank you, Mrs. McAllister.”

“You have to call me Barbara. Everyone does.” She looked pretty and youthful with her auburn hair pulled back into a French braid. Setting the steaming mug in front of Shea, she said, “You drink it black, right?”

She nodded. “Thank you.” She glanced around and saw a couple of mugs sitting near the sink. Had Jesse come and gone already? “You have a beautiful kitchen. It’s so big.”

“It was remodeled five years ago.” Barbara poured herself a cup and added cream. “The boys do a lot of the work themselves during winter months when they don’t have as much to do outside.” She took a seat at the table, her eyes troubled. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

Rachel turned away from the stove to look at Shea.

“I’m fine. Though I was very lucky your son spotted me. I’m not sure I could’ve found my way back.” She’d purposely not used his name and still she felt her cheeks heat.

Barbara studied her a moment. “As soon as we got the message that Jesse had collected you we all relaxed. We knew you were in good hands.”

“But he had to land in a field of snow because of me. He could’ve been in danger and it would’ve been my fault. I’m so sorry.” She stared down at her hands wrapped around the warm mug. “And Candy Cane, she had to—”

“She’s nice and warm, happily munching hay in the barn,” Barbara assured her. “I expect she was given some oats, too.”

“And Annie.” It suddenly hurt to breathe. Oh, God, Annie would never trust her again. “I need to call her right away.”

“I already did.” Rachel left the stove to pat Shea’s shoulder. Barbara had her hand on Shea’s arm. “Nobody is upset with you,” Rachel said.

“Certainly not us, and not Annie. We’re all relieved that you’re both safe,” Barbara added.

Shea breathed in deeply. It was still hard to look up. Weird having these strangers touching her, but she didn’t mind as much as she normally would have. Maybe because she knew they genuinely cared and wanted nothing from her.

The stray thought unnerved her. She hadn’t considered it before. But it was true...someone always seemed to want something from her.

For Brian it had been leverage within the company—she was their star and he’d ridden her coattails until he’d come into his own. Her boss fawned over her because she made him look good and earned him huge bonuses. And her parents...sometimes the knowledge that she was barely more than her father’s prize pupil and her mother’s sounding board did hurt a little. Time had made acceptance easier.

“Shea?” Barbara squeezed her arm. “Please believe that we aren’t mad at you.” She paused, then in a voice taut with concern, asked, “Are you hurt in some way? Is there something you’re not telling us? We have a good doctor in town.”

“No, I’m fine. Really. I was wondering if Annie’s going to fire me.”

Barbara sank back in her chair and smiled.

Rachel breathed a relieved sigh.

“No,” both women said at the same time.

“I’d understand if she did.” Shea brought the mug to her lips and drank deeply even though the brew was still hot. She felt chilled again, although the kitchen was nice and warm.

“Honey, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Barbara said. “I bet you’ll feel better once you talk to Annie yourself, but first—”

The sizzling bacon popped and spit. Muttering a mild curse, Rachel rushed back to the stove.

“Nice language, young lady.” Barbara eyed her daughter.

“You let the boys get away with it.”

Barbara’s lips lifted in a wry smile. “They usually have the good sense not to say it to my face.”

“Trace? Good sense? Since when?”

Barbara sighed her disapproval loud enough for Rachel to hear, and winked at Shea. “How many brothers and sisters do you have?”

“None.” That wasn’t true. She always forgot about the new twins and Frankie. “I have half siblings, but they’re young and I don’t really know them.” She took another sip. “I have three stepbrothers, as well,” she said, and wished she hadn’t. “I don’t know them, either,” she mumbled, annoyed with herself for awkwardly trying to fill the silence.

Rachel and Barbara were both lovely women. There was no reason to be uncomfortable around them. They hadn’t treated her as if they suspected about her and Jesse last night.

“Speaking of brothers, where are those bums?” Rachel drew back the blue-checked curtains and peered out the window. “If they think I’m keeping breakfast warm for them they can—”

“Gee, cut us some slack.” Cole walked through the door to the dining room, his dark hair damp and slicked back. “We were out being heroes this morning.” He smiled at Shea and his mother, then sniffed the air. “Hmm, fresh biscuits.”

“That’s right.” Trace walked in directly behind him. “Heroes,” he said with a finger pointed at Rachel. “You got that?”

“Oh, shut it.” Rachel transferred bacon from the pan to a platter. “Make more coffee while you’re up.”

“Ah, my loving brood. Brings a tear to a mother’s eye.” Barbara picked up her mug and got to her feet. “Where’s Jesse?”

“He went to the barn to check on the mare.” Cole snatched a strip of bacon and just missed the wrath of Rachel’s big black spatula. “He’ll be here any second.”

Jamie entered next. “Hi, Shea, you look better.” She gave Shea’s shoulder a reassuring rub as she passed.

“Mornin’, Jamie.” Trace flashed a megawatt smile.

“Forget it.” She waved him off and sidled up to Cole. “Rachel told you to make the coffee.”

Everyone but Trace and Shea laughed. Grumbling to no one in particular, Trace brought out a canister and filters from the upper cabinet.

Shea brought her coffee to her lips, apprehensive about Jesse’s eventual appearance and wishing she could hide behind the large blue ceramic mug. Everyone was being great. No sly or questioning looks, but did they all have to be here at the same time? Jeez, she was suddenly feeling claustrophobic. Bad enough she’d already counted all the cabinets in threes.

Scanning the pale yellow wall decorated with copper molds, she saw the clock and was shocked to see it was only ten-fifteen. It felt like four in the afternoon. She had to think of an excuse to leave. She couldn’t be rude—these people had been inconvenienced because of her, yet they remained so gracious. They were all talking, laughing, teasing each other with a familiarity that frightened her. She didn’t belong here. Even if she wished she could.

She drew in a deep breath, let it out slowly, then silently cleared her throat. “I’d feel better if I spoke to Annie myself, so if you don’t mind...” She stood and moved back, wincing when her chair scraped the wood floor.

More than her timid voice, the horrible noise caught everyone’s attention. All eyes were on her and she wanted to die. Right here, right now. She wished Jesse had never found her out in the storm.

“You need to eat first.”

At his voice she jumped. Jesse had come through the same door as everyone else but he’d hung back, out of her peripheral vision, and was watching her with a cool detachment that pierced her heart.

“Is Candy Cane all right?” she asked, fearing that’s what had him acting strangely.

“The mare is fine.”

“Oh. Good.” She swallowed. Maybe he was just tired. Or perhaps he wanted to make it clear that last night was last night and now everything would revert to normal between them.

She glanced at the table, her abandoned chair. Her purse...it was still at Safe Haven. “I don’t have a phone.”

He turned away to get a mug out of the cabinet. “You can use the landline in the den,” he said, crossing to the coffeemaker and finding the carafe nearly empty.

“I’m working on that,” Trace said. “Take mine.”

It was quiet, way too quiet. Thankfully only for a few seconds and then everyone got busy with what they’d been doing.

Shea stared down at her trembling hand. Dammit, dammit, dammit. She didn’t know where the den was, but she didn’t trust her voice to ask. She set down her mug, made fists and shoved them into her pockets. At least no one was looking at her, not even Jesse.

“Wait,” he said, just as she was about to leave the kitchen.

She already had one foot on the threshold. Easy to pretend she hadn’t heard him and keep moving.

He took the decision out of her hands by catching her arm and startling her to death. He had to have flown across the kitchen. She met his gaze, then looked past him. The others were being careful to pay them no attention.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “You call Annie, and then we’ll eat.” Without checking to see if anyone was watching, he slid an arm around her shoulders and hugged her close as he walked with her. “Don’t wait breakfast on us,” he called to no one in particular. “We’ll eat in a little while.”

15

S
HEA
CLIMBED
INTO
the warmth of Jesse’s big pickup, exhausted from working half a day at Safe Haven. Everyone, including Annie, had urged her not to come in after the overnight ordeal, but she couldn’t postpone seeing Annie. She’d dreaded facing the woman who’d trusted her, the woman whom Shea had failed.

In the end it’d been easier than expected but still hard. Probably because Annie had been so kind. She’d hugged Shea, told her three times how glad she was that she was safe, and no, she didn’t blame her at all because Annie had made a lousy call in letting her go after Caleb. They finally had to make a pact not to beat themselves up anymore.

The biggest disappointment of the day was there’d been no sign of Caleb. Everyone told Shea not to worry about him. She did anyway.

At least Candy Cane was fine, stuffed with oats, warm and happy. Jesse had arranged for the mare’s return to Safe Haven and for Shea’s rental to be driven to the Sundance so she could ride back with him. The hay Shea had ordered from the hardware store had been delivered and unloaded, and seeing the relief on Annie’s face had done Shea’s heart good.

Jesse reversed the truck and as he steered them toward the drive, Shea twisted around to give Annie and two of the volunteers a final goodbye. It wasn’t as if she wouldn’t see them tomorrow, but she was still overcome with gratitude and a bunch of weird fuzzy emotions that had her thinking askew.

Annie grinned and gave her a thumbs-up.

Shea promptly turned back to face the dashboard. A week ago she wouldn’t have known what the gesture meant. It was about Jesse. No doubt in her mind.

“They’re gossiping about us,” she said to him, “you know that, right?”

“’Course they are.” He chuckled, then glanced over at her with a look of concern. “Does that bother you?”

She stared down at his hand closed over hers resting on the seat between them. “I work in the same office as a guy who dumped me. If I ever was squeamish about gossip I’d be over it by now.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Jeez, maybe she was schizophrenic. Now that was a comforting thought, especially since Jesse eyed her as if he’d considered the same possibility.

“I don’t know what happened this morning or why I acted the way I did,” she said, releasing his hand and wrapping her arms around herself. They’d been busy, and he hadn’t pushed, so she’d managed to avoid the topic. Now she wished the conversation was over. “Your mom, Rachel, everyone was so nice to me. But I just don’t think I can face them tonight. Darn it, I’m sleeping in the barn.”

“You’re sleeping with me.” He put both hands on the wheel to navigate a curve.

“Jesse...”

“What?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” she said, but inside she was excited that he still wanted her.

“So you are afraid of people talking.”

“No, not really. Most of that stuff goes over my head. But it’s your family. They love you so much and I don’t want to say anything stupid or wrong.”

He seemed to tense. The road had straightened. He could’ve taken her hand again but he didn’t.

She studied his profile and wondered which part of that he objected to. “I don’t know why I’m so weird or why I clam up the way I do. But it’s been this way forever. I can’t explain it.”

“You’re not weird.” He found her hand again and squeezed it. “They mean well, but my family can be a little overwhelming. And when Trace and Rachel get into it...man, you’d think they were still nine and ten.”

Shea smiled. “Yeah, but you can tell they’d stop a bullet for each other.”

“You’re right about that.” He glanced over at her. “They’ll expect us for dinner. If you don’t want to, say the word.”

Her stomach lurched. “Oh, God.”

“How about we stop at Marge’s diner in town? I’ll call Rachel. They’ll understand.”

She was tempted. But that meant reverting to the old Shea. She’d made too much progress moving forward to chicken out now. Anyway, she kind of owed the McAllisters. Dragging Jesse away wouldn’t be nice. “No, we’ll eat at the Sundance. If I’m invited, I accept.”

“You’re invited,” he said with a short laugh. “I need you for protection.”

“Me?”

“If my sister gets me alone she’ll drive me nuts with the questions.”

“About last night?”

“About you, mostly.” He sent Shea an apologetic look. “I shouldn’t have put my arm around you this morning. I tried for a poker face until I saw how scared you looked.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the backs of her fingers. It gave her goose bumps. “I’m not going to lie to you. They’re probably bursting with curiosity, but no one will say anything to you.”

She bit back a smile. “Not even Rachel?”

Jesse looked as though he had to think about that one, and then groaned. “I’ll take care of her as soon as we get home.”

“No, don’t say anything. I can handle it, really. And this morning...I wasn’t scared, just overwhelmed.” She plucked a small piece of hay that was stuck to his hair. “They were very kind and I was touched by their concern.” She angled herself so that she rested her cheek on the seat and could watch him. He was clean-shaven now and she liked that look, too. “I can’t believe we’ve only known each other a few days.”

“I know.” He glanced over at her. “Keep looking at me like that and I’m going to pull over and make love to you.”

Shea grinned. “I’d let you.”

He chuckled. “We’re eating dinner fast, got that?”

Her toes curled. “Wow, a real bed and a warm room.”

“Yep. And a whole box of condoms.”

* * *

T
HE
NEXT
DAY
Jesse waited until Shea left for Safe Haven in her rental. The roads were clear and no snow was coming down within a hundred-mile radius of Blackfoot Falls, so he didn’t feel the need to go caveman on her and insist she not drive. If the weather changed, they agreed she’d stay put ’til he picked her up. He hated that tonight was the open house. It was going to be a zoo around here and he was running out of time.

He found Rachel in the den. “You got a minute?”

She looked up from her laptop. “Sure.”

“I want to get Shea a gift.” He glanced over his shoulder, not keen on anyone overhearing. “Any suggestions?”

“You know tomorrow is Christmas Eve already.”

“Yep.” He shrugged. “I have to go check on the Cessna later, see if I can get her up soon. Then I figured I’d drive over to Kalispell and pick up something.”

Frowning, she set the laptop aside and swung her stocking feet off the coffee table. “Honestly, I don’t know her well enough to make a suggestion. You weren’t thinking of jewelry, were you?”

He caught the teasing glint in her eye. “You think one carat is too chintzy?”

She blinked, and narrowed her gaze. “You lie.”

“Yep, I lie. So are you gonna help me or not?”

Rachel grinned. “I might have a suggestion, which you probably won’t like, and I could be way off base, but she doesn’t strike me as being the materialistic type.”

“Definitely not.” He hated that he had to rely on Rachel for this, but he was notoriously bad at choosing gifts. “So?”

“We’ll get to that. I want to say something while I have you here.”

“Oh, God...”

“Shut up and listen. It’s not horrible.” She got up and walked over to him. “It’s nice to see glimpses of the old Jesse,” she said and gently hugged him. “That’s all.” When she leaned back, her eyes were moist.

He had to look away. “I know, Rach,” he said quietly. What else could he say...?
By the way, I’m probably going to reenlist so don’t get used to it?
The thought depressed him. Every part of it—having to tell the family, leaving Montana, putting on a uniform every day. And Shea? No, she wasn’t a part of the equation. She’d be returning to California in a few days. “So what do you think for Shea?”

“Oats and corn,” Rachel said with a decisive nod, then grinned at him. “Wish I had a camera. Think about it for a second. Remember how excited she was about taking the horses their ‘treats’? Buy a few bags and tie a big red bow around them. You know how city people are about pets. Bet she’d love it.”

After the initial absurdity of the suggestion passed, Jesse smiled. His sister was on to something. And he reckoned he knew an even better surprise.

He grabbed Rachel by the waist, ignoring her squeal of surprise when he lifted her off the floor and spun her around. “You rock, kiddo.” He set her down. “I’ll be out for a while.”

“Don’t forget you promised to help set up for tonight.”

He stopped at the door. The open house. Damn.

“Go.” Rachel made a shooing motion. “I’ll get Trace to pitch in.”

“Thank you,” he said, feeling a stab of guilt when he met her hopeful green eyes. Then he took off before he said something stupid.

* * *

“D
O
YOU
HAVE
ANY
idea how long you’ve been staring at that tree?” Jesse touched the small of Shea’s back and passed her the hot apple cider he’d gone to get for her from the spread in the dining room.

She smiled at him and folded her palms around the warm glass mug. “It’s so beautiful I can’t help it.”

“Not the word I would’ve used to describe this one. The spruce in the living room, yeah.” He squinted at the plaster gingerbread man. “That thing’s got to be over twenty years old. Can’t remember whose handiwork it is. Probably Cole’s or mine.”

“Cole. I saw his name on the back. That’s yours.” She pointed to the one with a misshapen foot.

Jesse grunted. “Figures mine is the messed-up one.”

She frowned at him. “Stop it. He’s adorable.”

He just laughed and shrugged, but it bothered her that he’d said that.

She scanned the collection of homemade ceramic candy canes, various Barbie doll accessories, the Disney character ornaments, the twinkling multicolored lights. “I want a tree like this someday. It kind of tells a story.”

He slipped an arm around her, kissed the side of her neck and whispered, “I figured you liked it back here in the den because it’s more private.”

His lips tickled, and she giggled. “I haven’t done too badly. I’ve socialized a bit. I met Sadie, who owns the Watering Hole, and Louise from the sewing shop.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He nipped at her lower lip.

“Hey, I’ll spill my cider.” Two things had amazed her since people had begun showing up for the open house. She hadn’t hidden in her room but actually had a few conversations. And then there was Jesse himself, who constantly surprised her with his unself-conscious displays of affection.

Nothing extreme or that made her uncomfortable. But he didn’t shy away from holding her hand or sliding an arm around her shoulders in front of his family and neighbors.

“We’ve made our appearance,” he said, obviously not caring if she spilled because now he had two arms around her. “Time to duck out.”

“The stairs are in full view.” She shook her head, aghast at the notion of anyone seeing them. “I’m not doing that.”

“You have a point. Okay, I have another idea.” He drew back and took her hand.

“Where are we going?”

Without answering he led her out of the den and through the living room, past the ten-foot tree decked out in white lights, white satin bows and white doves. An elderly couple chatted with Barbara by the grandfather clock. Several kids were inspecting the hand-stitched stockings hanging above the huge stone fireplace. The whole room smelled of pine from the trees and the yards and yards of fresh garland strung across the mantel and up the staircase railings.

The house seemed made for entertaining. Each large room spilled into the next, and people dressed in jeans and festive shirts were everywhere—lingering at the buffet table in the open dining room, gathering around the wet bar opposite the fireplace or crowding the kitchen and foyer.

“Whoo-hoo...look who’s got himself a girl.” A brunette carrying a toddler on her hip came from the kitchen grinning at Jesse. “Congratulations, honey,” she said to Shea as she passed. “This one’s always been too slippery to catch.”

“Evening, Doreen,” he said dryly, shaking his head.

Shea playfully elbowed him. “Who is she?”

“My eighth-grade girlfriend.”

“I bet you had a lot of them.”

“I wouldn’t say a
lot.
”

“Don’t let him kid you.” Rachel surprised them from behind. “All the girls went cross-eyed over my quiet, mysterious brother. Where are you guys off to?”

“None of your business, squirt.”

“Don’t get stranded anywhere, huh?” With a cheeky grin Rachel veered off toward the table set up with punch and eggnog.

They’d almost made it to the front door when a young couple Jesse had gone to school with intercepted them. Jesse was polite, introduced her, asked about their kids, then excused himself, promising he’d get together with them in the new year.

“Finally,” he said, when they stepped outside.

He’d spoken too soon. The smokers had gathered in the chilly night air and lined the wraparound porch. Shea let Jesse do the talking, impressed at how smoothly and quickly he extricated them from the group.

She was breathless by the time they entered the dimly lit barn. “What are we doing here?” she asked, glancing around at the equipment and odd shapes made stranger by the shadows. The building was clearly big, but on the inside it seemed as if it went on forever.

“Looking for privacy.” He tugged at her hand and she went into his arms for a kiss that was too brief. “Wait right here.”

She did as he asked, rubbing her arms and wishing she wore more than a lightweight red sweater. She didn’t even have thermals under her jeans. But, of course, she hadn’t planned on leaving the house. For that matter, she hadn’t intended to stay at the party for more than a few minutes and had only gone to be polite. Except Jesse made everything easier. His whole family did, really, and each day it felt more natural to listen with interest and participate in conversations even if she hadn’t initiated them herself.

The creaking sound of a door had her peering intently into a dark corner of the barn. Jesse had headed that way. That didn’t mean they were alone. “Jesse?” she called quietly.