Authors: Anitra Lynn McLeod
Tags: #Romance
Something inside Ollie wanted to explain himself to Caleb, but another part, a stronger part, told Ollie that telling the truth to Caleb would be meaningless since he already knew that McBride had claimed Jonas so that Ollie and Jonas could be together. The other brothers didn’t know, but Caleb did, and it bothered him, but Caleb wouldn’t retaliate. Caleb was disappointed in Ollie, but what Ollie didn’t know was why. He knew Caleb and Jonas didn’t like each other, but Caleb’s disappointment seemed to go deeper than that.
“Maybe he’s disappointed that I have chosen to live a lie.”
That thought compelled Ollie to wonder about Caleb and McBride. He saw himself in Caleb, and a bit of McBride in Jonas. Ollie didn’t have confirmation, but he believed those two were doing the same thing that he and Jonas had done. McBride and Caleb were trying to stay away from each other because they knew it was wrong, but they were ultimately going to fail.
Or were they?
Had McBride taken on Jonas as a way of putting a block between him and Caleb? It certainly could work. Caleb hated Jonas enough that if he even
suspected
that McBride was with Jonas, Caleb wouldn’t even let McBride feed again without a fight lest his blood somehow end up in Jonas’s gut. Caleb would rather kill Jonas than let his bloodbond with his own brother linger, and that said a lot about Caleb’s mindset.
Not that any of that was Ollie’s problem. Now that he and Jonas could be together, they just had to find time to make that happen. Ollie need not have worried. What amazed him was how often he and Jonas found ways to do that now that Ollie was living in the big house as the cook. Since Jonas was a gentryman of leisure, he was able to be just about anywhere he wanted at any time. Ollie found him in all kinds of places waiting for a kiss, a hug, but nothing more.
Today, he’d found Jonas waiting for him in the walk-in pantry.
“I want to do the ritual first.” Jonas trailed his hand down the center of Ollie’s chest to his cock, but he only touched lightly then pulled his hand away entirely. It was torture.
“But why?” Ollie was about ready to burst he wanted Jonas so desperately. “We’re already fully bonded, so it doesn’t really matter.”
“It matters to me.”
“You can’t wear that collar.”
“I know, but we can still do the ritual.”
Ollie sighed and tucked away his determination to take Jonas right here in the pantry. If it was important to his mate, then it was important to him, too. “We need a witness.”
“McBride said he would.”
“I still don’t understand why he did this for us.” It was a tremendous sacrifice without one single benefit for McBride from what Ollie could see.
“He had his reasons.” Jonas stepped back a bit and looked upward, perhaps in the direction where McBride was.
“Do you know what they are?”
“They?”
“McBride’s reasons for helping us. Do they involve Caleb?” Ollie wondered sometimes how Jonas could seem to know so much without being told. In some ways, Jonas was a lot like Caleb in that he grasped things intuitively. Usually, Jonas was very talkative about what he knew and he loved to gossip, but lately he’d been more circumspect, or at least he had on the subject of McBride and Caleb.
“I think…” Jonas trailed off. “It doesn’t matter what I think.”
“It matters to me.”
Jonas offered up a wan smile when Ollie tossed his own words back at him. “I feel badly talking about McBride behind his back. He’s done so much for us that we shouldn’t return his kindness with idle talk.”
Ollie lowered his head. Jonas was right. Speculating about McBride after all he had done for them was nothing short of ungrateful. And then a new thought came to Ollie. “But what if we can help them be together?” The thought of giving his brother something he clearly wanted in addition to pleasing McBride seemed like a win-win situation.
“I think we should stay out of it unless McBride specifically asks us for help.”
It was another good point, but Ollie still wanted to give back in kind to McBride. “After all he’s done for us, we should do something in return.”
“I know, but not this. I think…I think he’s doing everything he can to keep away from Caleb. I don’t think it’s right for us to try to push him into a situation he’s clearly trying to avoid.”
“You mean like the way you tried to avoid me?” Ollie remembered seeing Jonas at the prison and practically falling in love with him at first sight. It had been an agonizing month until he saw him again, as his slammer. But Jonas had carefully drunk from all the other brothers, except for Caleb, first in an effort to appear no more interested in Ollie than any of the others.
That night, their first, flashed into Ollie’s mind. Jonas had entered his bedroom, and he’d been trembling. Ollie understood because he was shaking, too. He wanted Jonas almost desperately, but he knew he couldn’t do anything about his lust. It had made him exquisitely aware of his body and Jonas’s whereabouts. Ollie had been able to sense his presence, and one look generally called him closer.
“I knew that I would fail to stay away from you.” Jonas stepped forward until he was pressed against Ollie. “I tried so hard, but nothing was going to keep me from being with you.”
“I felt the same way. Seeing you, wanting you, but knowing that the hungers I had were so dreadfully backward.”
“Hungers?” Jonas tilted up his face, making his big blue eyes bigger and about a thousand times more innocent.
“Hunger for your lips.” Ollie traced his finger lightly over the bottom one, loving the way Jonas was unable to draw a steady breath. “Hunger to feel your body beneath mine.” Ollie gripped his buttocks, one in each hand, and pulled him tight. “Hunger to taste your blood.” Lowering his head, Ollie licked the scar he’d made on Jonas’s neck, holding him close as he squirmed in erotic torture. “But most gnawing of all was the hunger to merge with your very soul.”
“Ah, Zooks, Ollie. Bite me. I’ll go mad if you don’t.”
“I thought you wanted to wait for the ritual?” Ollie had him right where he wanted him, and he wasn’t about to give in quickly. That he would surrender to his need was a foregone conclusion, but he wanted to drag things out until his mate was practically in tears with longing. Jonas never looked better than when he was desperate for their bodies to merge. He said it was knowing how good that moment of penetration was that made him one step away from a mindless animal.
“I do, but I want you now.” Jonas looked torn, so Ollie bit lightly against the scar to make him whimper. “Wait.” Jonas took a deep breath. “What did you mean by dreadfully backward?”
“I’d rather talk more about my current hungers.” Ollie tried to lick the scar again, but Jonas turned his head, blocking him. “Backward in that you should mount me.”
“Because why?” Jonas rubbed the tip of his finger over Ollie’s scar, making him growl.
“Because you’re older, and higher up the class scale than I am.”
Jonas frowned and extricated himself from Ollie’s grip. “You think there’s something wrong with me because I want you to fuck me?”
“No, not at all.” Ollie shook his head and drew Jonas close enough so he could kiss the top of his head. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you or me. Just—it’s not supposed to be like this according to…” And there he faltered because Ollie wasn’t certain who set up the rules of how the class system worked. “Please forget I said anything. Clearly, the rules are ridiculous because we are perfect just the way we are.”
“When two landed gentrymen meet and want to bond, they are responsible for deciding who does what to whom. But with us, there are no rules because we’re not supposed to be more to one another than blood offering and blood drinker.”
“And we turned that on its head, too.”
“Do you not want to do the ritual?”
Ollie kissed Jonas’s head and squeezed him hard enough to make him sigh. “I want that very much, but only if we do so as equals.”
“I want that, too.” Jonas squeezed back and then looked up. “You know I’ve never thought of you as less than me.”
“I know. And you know that I’ve never thought less of you for wanting to be on the bottom, right?”
“I do.” Jonas kissed him quick and then stepped away. When Ollie reached for him, he waggled his finger and moved farther away. “Ah ah ah. Tonight, my love. We will wait for tonight.”
After sighing dramatically and looking pointedly at his erection, which was tenting his white apron, Ollie nodded. “Until tonight.”
Jonas had never been so exquisitely aware of his own body. He stood naked in the master bedroom with Ollie standing naked on the other side of the big bed. McBride was fully dressed and seated at the vanity.
“Are you ready to begin?” McBride looked from Jonas to Ollie, nodding when they both indicated they were ready. Rising, McBride went to the door and closed it. “The lights are on and angled so that our shadows will cast against that window.” He pointed to the huge picture window that faced the cul-de-sac of the brothers’ houses. “Since Ollie and I are almost the same size, it will look like Jonas and I are doing the ritual. After tonight, you two can have this room and I’ll sleep in another.”
“But you should have your father’s old room,” Jonas protested. He didn’t want to take everything away from a man who had already been extremely generous.
“I should, but I don’t want it. It’s honestly my choice, Jonas. I’m not comfortable in here and you are. It’s yours.”
Rather than argue the point, Jonas nodded, and then looked to Ollie. He was about to ask if Ollie really wanted to do this when his gaze landed on the scar across his belly. That mark was physical proof that Ollie would die to protect him. If that didn’t say unending love, nothing could. Without words, Ollie had shown him just how much he loved him.
“Climb onto the bed, on your knees, and face each other.”
Unable to stop himself from shaking, Jonas crawled onto the surface of the bed. In anticipation of the night’s activities, McBride had rolled the bedclothes down to the foot of the mattress. Below his knees, the sheets were almost sinfully soft, but what held his attention riveted was the look on Ollie’s face. He was so happy he practically glowed.
McBride took a black candle and placed it on Jonas’s bedside table. “This represents the binding of your bodies.” He lit the candle and stepped back. “You may embrace one another.”
Shuffling forward on their knees, Jonas and Ollie met in the middle. Jonas wrapped his arms around Ollie’s neck, while Ollie wrapped his around Jonas’s waist. Body to body, they pressed close so that they could feel each other’s heartbeats. As they clung together, Jonas was able to feel the pulsing heat of Ollie’s erection against his belly. When he looked toward the window, he saw their combined form and thought they looked something like a flower bulb ready to sprout.
“The candle is lighting up your hair.” Ollie stroked his hand over Jonas’s golden curls. “You’re really beautiful, you know?”
“When you look at me like that, I know.” Jonas kissed the center of Ollie’s chest.
“Decide who will claim whom for the ritual.”
“We’re doing this as equals.”
McBride hesitated. “No penetration?”
“No.” Jonas met Ollie’s gaze. “We’re going into this as equals.”
McBride didn’t speak or move for a long time. Out the corner of his eye, Jonas noticed a look of envy cross McBride’s face. It was in that moment that Jonas realized just how much McBride wanted Caleb. He would never act on his desires, and that made Jonas even more grateful that he’d been blessed enough to have what he did with Ollie. Without McBride’s help, they’d still be pining away for one another. Sadly, there wasn’t anything he could do to help McBride and Caleb unless they asked for his assistance. If McBride was honestly trying to stay away from Caleb, Jonas certainly wasn’t going to be pushing him that direction, not after the kindness he’d shown. However, if McBride ever asked for help, Jonas would bend over backward to assist him.
McBride moved to Ollie’s side with a white candle. “This represents the binding of your souls.” His voice was husky, and he cleared his throat as he lit the candle.
Flickering light slipped through Ollie’s light-brown strands, making gold dance over his head. Ollie looked like a man being elevated to godhood. He was everything Jonas had ever wanted, and he was going to do everything in his power to ensure happiness for the both of them.
“You may kiss.” McBride moved toward the vanity where he’d been sitting earlier.
Looking deeply into each other’s eyes, Jonas lifted his lips to Ollie. Their kiss was tentative at first then turned more passionate as the intensity of the moment caught up to them. This was what Jonas had been waiting his whole life to do. He wanted to bond with a partner who understood him as a man, loved him despite his foibles, and cherished him because of the person he was rather than the person he wanted to be. Ollie did that for Jonas, and Jonas swore he would always do the same for Ollie.
“Every sacrifice I’ve made in order to be with you was worth it. I can’t imagine bonding myself to anyone but you.” Jonas kissed the scar he’d made on Ollie’s neck.
“No matter what I have to do to be with you, I will gladly do it, because there is no one else for me but you.” Ollie kissed the scar on Jonas’s neck.