‘Mother, you really are full of surprises,’ said Julian looking at her in genuine admiration, ‘first cash-flow forecasting for the farm, then capital investment programme for Morell Pharmaceuticals, all in one evening. You will be financial director, won’t you? And my factory manager as well?’
‘Until I get a better offer,’ said Letitia. ‘Of course I will, Julian, I’ve always loved the idea of money and business and
making more. It excites me. Only it’s something I’ve never had much of a chance to do anything about in the wilds of Wiltshire. I’ve often tried to suggest improvements and investment on the farm, but James and your father would never listen to me.’
‘Well, I’ll listen. Gratefully. And as often as I can. And now while we’re in such communicative mood, Mother, and I’ve sat so politely while you put me just ever so gently in my place, will you tell me something? Something I’ve always wanted to know?’
‘I can’t imagine what,’ said Letitia, just a trifle too lightly.
‘Yes, you can. The twins.’
‘What about the twins?’
‘Well, I don’t know, I just know there was more to that than you’ve ever admitted. Some mystery. Something strange.’
‘Nonsense. Nothing of the sort. They were born . . . prematurely. They died. Nothing more to tell than that.’ But her eyes shadowed, and her jaw tightened; Julian watching her felt the emotion struggling in her.
‘Mother, please tell me, If it’s something that concerns me in some way, I have a right to know what it is. And I can find out anyway. I think James has some idea about it.’
‘Why?’ said Letitia sharply.
‘Oh, the odd thing he’s said. One night, when we were talking, just after I got home. About how there seemed to be a mystery about it all. How various people still gossiped about it. About all of us. He clammed up after that, wouldn’t say any more. But I shall just pester him if you won’t tell me.’
Letitia looked at him for a long time. Then she sighed and stood up.
‘Where are you going?’
‘To pour myself a stiff drink,’ she said. ‘And one for you. I will tell you. If only to stop you worrying James with it. I had no idea that gossip was still going on. Of course he would never ask me, he’s much too shy. You do have a right to know, I suppose. And it does concern you. You, but not James. So I would much rather you didn’t talk to him about it. Will you promise me that, Julian?’
‘Of course.’ He watched her as she sat down again. ‘I’m very intrigued now, Mother,’ he said, as lightly as he could, knowing, sensing what he was to hear was hugely important for both of them. ‘I can’t imagine what you’re going to tell me.’
‘No,’ she said, ‘no you couldn’t possibly.’
He listened, as she told him, in complete silence; afterwards he sat for a long time, just holding her hand and watching the fire, marvelling at her courage and at the human capacity for love and its power to keep silent.
London, 1948–51
JULIAN AND LETITIA
Morell settled into life in London with a kind of joyous relief, falling hungrily on its pleasures and feeling they were both for the first time in their proper habitat. They bought a pretty little terrace house in First Street, just off Walton Street (‘I can smell Harrods,’ said Letitia contentedly), four tiny floors, one above the other. Property prices were just setting off on their dizzy postwar course and they got it just in time; it cost two thousand pounds and they were lucky. It was charmingly shabby, but quite unspoilt; it had belonged to an old lady, who had resolutely refused to leave it until the very last All Clear sounded, when she had finally agreed to join her family in the depths of Somerset and promptly died. They acquired much of her furniture along with the house, some of it treasures, including some extremely valuable Indian and Persian carpets, but for the most part rather too heavily Victorian for the light sunny little house. Almost everything at Maltings was too big and although James was guiltily generous, urging them to take anything they wanted, neither of them felt they should bring too many remnants of their old life into the new. Letitia brought the Sheraton escritoire and four exquisite eighteenth-century drawing room chairs left to her by her grandmother and Julian salvaged a Regency card table which had belonged to his father before his marriage and an ornate seventeenth-century bracket clock which had always looked rather overdressed on the fireplace at Maltings. ‘It’s a towny clock,’ he said to Letitia, ‘we should take it where it will feel more at home.’ Apart from that, he left everything, except a set
of first-edition prints of the
Just So Stories
which had been a present from his godfather, and which he said reminded him of one of the happier episodes in the war.
They managed to find a few pretty things – a brass-headed bed for Letitia, who said she had always longed for one, a small Hepplewhite-style sideboard, and an enchanting love seat for the drawing room – all at country-house sales. The London shops were beginning to look a little less stark, but there was nothing either Julian or Letitia really felt right for their playhouse, as Letitia called it, so they hunted for curtains and fabrics as well. Letitia rescued her old Singer machine from Maltings and set to work, cutting down and adapting huge dusty brocades they acquired at a sale, and hanging them at her new drawing room windows.
They were altogether perfectly happy: it was Royal Wedding Year and Princess Elizabeth was planning her wedding to the dashing Prince Philip; London was in party mood, and very busy in every way; bombed theatres (most notably the Old Vic) were being rebuilt, and galleries and museums reopened, holding out their treasures proudly for inspection again, after years of fearful concealment. The social scene was frantic, as people struggled to re-create a normal pleasurable life; Julian and Letitia lunched, shopped and gossiped, went to the theatre (Letitia daringly bought seats for
A Streetcar Named Desire
, but actually confessed to preferring
Brigadoon
), and the cinema (Julian’s own special favourite being
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
, which he saw three times), and listened to concerts. Julian also launched himself on a lifetime passion for cars, and bought himself a prewar Wolseley saloon, scorning the Utility-style modern models, and feeling, as he settled into its soft deep leather seat, and behind its huge steering wheel, that this was for him precisely what First Street and the proximity of Harrods was for Letitia: a wholly desirable place to be.
And they entertained and were entertained tirelessly, a charming if slightly eccentric couple, providing in one deliciously simple package a single man and the perfect excuse to invite him anywhere. No hostess need fear she might appear herself to be pursuing Julian Morell, so charming, so handsome, so delightfully available, but still not quite yet a properly known commodity, or to be hurling him rather precipitately at
her single women friends, when he could so easily and without any embarrassment be invited to dinner with his mother. And then such was Mrs Morell’s grace, wit and beauty that no dinner table could be other than adorned by her, no young people could consider her an assault on their fun.
It became a game in the early days, before the Morells were properly well known in London, for a hostess to tell her guests that she had invited a charming, single man to dinner, but that she had been obliged to ask his mother as well, as she was all alone in London; and then to watch the faces of her guests – particularly the men – braced with bright smiles, soften into pleasure, admiration and undisguised relief as Letitia came into the room. Another version of the same game, and one Letitia and Julian tacitly joined in, was for them to be introduced as Letitia and Julian Morell and to leave the rest of the gathering to try to fathom quite what their relationship was. Sometimes when the stakes were high, and there was a particularly pretty girl or attractive man at the table (for Letitia was enjoying her new social success quite as much as Julian), they would draw the thing out until well into the second or third course, waiting for precisely the right moment to drop the words ‘my mother’ or ‘my son’ into the conversation, and then savouring the various degrees of amusement, pleasure and irritation that followed. It was hard to say which of them was enjoying themselves more.
Letitia, looking back at the long, lonely years at Maltings, the stiff country dinner parties, the boring conversations about cattle and yield, land and horses, stock prices and servants, the red-faced men, stuffy when sober, lecherous when drunk, and their loyal, large braying wives, wondered how she had borne it. Suddenly the world was full of charming, amusing people and gossip; she would sit at supper, quite unable to swallow sometimes for pleasure and excitement and fear of missing a gem, or better still the opportunity to pass one on. She had a genius for gossip herself, she filed things away neatly in her head, cross-referenced under people and places, a treasure trove of meetings, conversations, glances, jokes, and she would produce a piece of it at exactly the right moment, knowing precisely how to silence a table with a wicked announcement, or how to intrigue a group with a perfectly innocent observation.
She did it not only cleverly, but with great charm; she flattered those whose reputation she was shredding, bestowing virtues and beauty upon people who possessed neither and giving her conversations a deceptively benign air.
‘That little Serena Motcombe,’ she would say, ‘such a lovely girl, you know she paints quite beautifully, I saw her at lunch last week with Toby Ferranti, he was looking quite marvellous and did you know that Lady Brigstocke is learning to ride, she looks wonderful, I saw her in the Park on Tuesday with David Berner, I believe he’s trying to get back into polo, and of course William Brigstocke is the most marvellous player . . .’ and so it went on and on, a glittering wicked chronicle. But it was not malicious; Letitia had a shrewd eye and a tender heart and where she saw true love, real pain, she was friend, confidante, ally and counsel; she would provide alibis, divert suspicion, and even provide venues for meetings that could take place absolutely nowhere else.
She was having a glorious time.
So was Julian. He was now twenty-seven, with that ability to disturb that truly sexually accomplished men possess; another dimension beyond good looks, attractiveness or even ordinary sexuality. His entry to a room caused women to fall suddenly into confusion, to lose the place in their conversation, to glance at their reflections, to smooth their hair; and men to feel threatened and aggressive, to look sharply at their wives, to form a closer group, while greeting him at the same time most warmly, shaking his hand and inquiring after his health and his business.
With good reason; Julian was a most adroit adulterer, seducing quite ruthlessly wherever he chose with a careless skill, and he greatly preferred the company and attentions of married women, not only because of their greater experience in bed but because of the excitement and danger of getting them there. There was more than one marriage in London in the savage winter and glorious spring of 1948 ripped apart as a wife found herself propelled by a force she was quite unable to resist into first the arms and then the bed of Julian Morell.
There was nothing original about Julian’s approach; but he was simply and pleasurably aware of the fact that women became suddenly and uncomfortably sexually tautened by the
most mundane conversation with him, and that by the end of a dinner party at his side or even an encounter at a cocktail party, or a theatre interval, would feel an extraordinarily strong urge to take their husbands home to bed and screw them relentlessly. (Indeed, husbands in the early stages of their wives’ affairs with Julian Morell had rather more reason to be grateful to him than they would ever know.) This made his progression into lunch and from there into long afternoons in bed extraordinarily easy. He knew exactly how to distract and discomfort women, how to throw them into a passion of emotional desire; long before he turned his attention to their physical needs, he would talk to them, and more than talk, listen, laugh at their jokes, look seriously on their concerns, encourage their thinking. He would send flowers with funny, quirky messages, make outrageous phone calls pretending to be someone else should their husbands answer the phone, hand-deliver silly notes, and give small thoughtful presents: a record of some song or piece of music they had heard together, a tiny antique pill box with a love letter folded up tightly inside it, a book of poetry with some particularly poignant piece carefully marked – the kind of things, in fact, that most women eating out their hearts in the sweet agony of an illicit love affair yearn for and which most men entirely fail to give them or even consider.
He was a brilliant lover in precisely the same way: it was not just his sexual skills, his capacity to arouse, to deepen, to sharpen sexual pleasure, to bring the most tearful, the most reticent women to shatteringly triumphant orgasm; it was his tenderness, his appreciation, his patience that earned him their gratitude, and their love.
The gratitude and the acquiescence were one thing, the love quite another; in his early days Julian found himself in quite extraordinarily delicate situations as poised cool mistresses suddenly metamorphosed into feverish, would-be wives, ready to confess, to pack, to leave husband, children and home and follow him to whichever end of the earth he might choose to lead them. It took all Julian’s skills to handle these situations; gently, patiently, through long fearful afternoons in slowly darkening bedrooms (it was another factor in Julian’s success that he was at this point in his life partially unemployed) he
would persuade them that they would be losing infinitely more than they would gain, that he was making a sacrifice just as big as their own, and he would leave them feeling just sufficiently warmly towards him to prevent them speaking too harshly of him, and just humiliated enough to be unwilling to reveal the extent of their involvement to any of their friends.
For his first six months or so in London this was the high wire he walked, permanently exhilarated by his success, his only safety net his own deviousness. After that, he grew not only more cautious but busier, involved in the birth of his business and the development of his talents in rather more conventional and fruitful directions. It was a perfect time for him; the boom he had prophesied had finally arrived, and there was a bullish attitude in the country. Investment was available for sound propositions, ideas were the top-selling commodity.