Of Royal Descent (27 page)

"I didn't think you were capable of remorse until the third shade?" he asked skeptically.

Agitation rose, but I quelled it.  I changed tactics.

"I'm not, but sometimes, I have these moments of clarity.  If I ever hurt any of you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself," I said, lifting my head to look him squarely in the eye.

Chuck's expression didn't change.

Hmm
.

"I'm sorry if I freaked you out that first day.  Is that why you didn't come back
until now?" I asked.

Something akin to embarrassment flitted across Chuck's face
, and he broke eye contact. 

"It just took me by surprise for some reason.  I didn't mean to react like that.  Russell thought I should wait a few days before returning, sorry."

I could work with guilt.

"No, that's okay.  I get it."  I lowered my head.  "I just... you know, missed having you around."  I kept my head down for greater effect.

Just as I began to doubt my acting abilities, he answered. 

"
Yeah, well, I realized I wouldn't have the opportunity much longer to hang out with you, so I talked Russell into letting me come back down," he said, referencing my impending transmissible state of virus activation in the third shade.

The idea that I should
actually
feel guilty crossed my mind, but I quickly swatted it away.

"You're right.  Before long, we'll have to be kept apart.  I'm sorry, that's my fault," I said, ladling a heaping portion of contriteness over my words.

"That's not your fault, Doyle.  It's Edgar's."  Chuck appeared deep in thought.

I sat down on the foot of my bed and silently counted to thirty.  I wanted to at least pretend to mourn our friendship before bringing up Addy.

"How's Addy been taking the news of the second shade?" I asked.

"Stephen prepared her for what to expect.  News from the basement doesn't seem to
faze her."

I rose from the bed and walked toward Chuck, resting my hands on the bars. 

"Then maybe she could handle seeing me, just for a few minutes."  I could hear the desperation in my own voice.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Chuck replied.

I passionately fought the instinct to grab at him and sink my teeth into him.  I closed my eyes and warred with myself. 
No, he could still be convinced
.  I swallowed and returned my gaze to meet his.

"The Chuck Johnson I know would do anything for his best friend,
has
done anything for his best friend.  I'm not asking you to bring her to into the cage.  I just want to see her."

He seemed to consider it as he began to fidget.

"Please," I beseeched him, falling to my knees.

He stood and put his hands on his hips.  Leaning his head back, he stared at the ceiling before returning his focus to me. 

"When you died and we were waiting for you to reanimate, Stephen warned us all that you would say anything, do anything, in order to gratify your every desire.  That's part of your
condition
, I get it.  But, I just have to ask, how many times have you thought about killing me since I've been down here?"

I stared at him.

"What, two times?  Three times?" Chuck continued to press.

I tried to feel ashamed of myself, but I just couldn't.  My capacity for such an emotion was buried beneath the layers of my desires of the flesh.

Chuck closed the gap quickly between the two of us and looked down at me, still on my knees on the floor.  He was close enough that I could've grabbed him.  I closed my eyes and tried to stifle the voice screaming in my head that was telling me to lunge for him.  Let me make myself clear:  The fact that Chuck was like a brother to me was not the reason I didn't attack him.  It was only because I needed him to retrieve Addy.

"Well, how many?" Chuck asked me calmly.

I gritted my teeth.  "Maybe nine or ten.  But the count is rising quickly because you are within my reach," I answered truthfully.

Chuck smiled
before backing away.  "I know, Doyle.  I've been educated on exactly how close I can get to you before I'm in danger.  So the question is, why didn't you kill me?"

I could either tell him what he was hoping to hear, that I stopped myself because I realized
I couldn't kill my best friend, or I could tell him the truth, that I needed him to be a delivery boy.  The answer to go with wasn't exactly clear-cut.  Stephen had prepared him to expect me to lie.  Maybe I was approaching the whole situation from the wrong angle.

I didn't want to answer.  If I chose incorrectly, Addy might be kept from me for the duration of the second shade.  The thought of not seeing her made my choice for me.  A growl escaped my throat before I even had time to repress it.  I shifted from my knees to my feet in one quick movement.  The room grew darker
. and I could feel the bones in my skull grate against one another. 
Eye shift
, I thought.

Chuck
looked to the floor immediately, as if he had been expecting it.  "Why didn't you kill me, Doyle?" he asked softly.

"Because you are the most likely candidate to cast a sympathetic vote for me.
  I need to see Addy.  And I need someone to bring her to me," I half-hissed.

Chuck looked thoughtful.  "I don't know if your ability to reason should give me hope that Doyle Hawthorne still resides in you somewhere, or terrify me.  A conniving zombie is the most deadly of all."

I exhaled slowly, willing my heart rate to slow.  "If our situations were reversed, I would bring Kai to you." 

"I wouldn't want you to," he said
.  The revulsion in his voice told me I had offended him.

Now it was I who smiled, laughing at my own private joke.  "Okay then,
what
can I
promise you in return?"

"No offense, but what is the word of a zombie worth?"

"So am I to understand that there is nothing I can say or do to persuade you?"  I held my breath and awaited his response.

"I didn't say that," he said, reluctantly smiling.  "Fix your creepy zombie eyes already
, and I'll fetch your girl... That is, on one condition."

The room instantly brightened
, and I felt my eye sockets slide back into alignment.  "Anything," I breathed, grasping the bars.

"I totally get to call you Doyle the Royal whe
never I want."  He grinned wide and brought his gaze back to eye-level.

I was momentarily distracted by thoughts of trying to eat his face, but then I remembered he had agreed to assist me.

"Okay," I answered humorlessly.  "Can you get her now?  I want her now."

"Geez, keep it in your pants.  I'm going."  He proceeded up the stairs
, and I strained to listen to the goings-on above my head.  There was nothing but silence.

I could smell her before I heard her.  The faint scent of honeysuckle mixed with something stronger
- something I could not name and could only describe as a cousin to the smell of the outside after a spring rain.  It was the pheromones, it had to be.  What had Bradbury called it? 
A pheromone bond. 
It hit me like a punch in the gut.  I sucked in air and scrambled to collect my thoughts.  The more in control I could appear, the closer I could get her to me.  I was sure of it.

I raced to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face, rinsing away the blood stains.  I ran some water through my hair and removed my shirt. 
Why waste perfectly chiseled abs?
  I exited the bathroom as Addy turned the corner and stood in front of my cage.  Time seemed to stand still as we both took in the sight of one another.

All that dark hair fell free to frame her beautiful pale face where chocolate eyes stared out back at me.  She bit her lower lip as her eyes washed over my body.  The mutual desire was palpable.  I refrained from charging the cell door and dry humping the bars.  I just needed to control myself until she was in the cage with me.

I walked toward her and rested nonchalantly against the iron slats.  "Hey baby girl, I've missed you."  My voice oozed out in a sickly, seductive manner. 
Come a little closer, said the spider to the fly.

Addy blushed but held my gaze.  "I've missed you too.  You look... better than I had imagined."

I smiled my most charming smile.  "Do I now?"

She smiled her own enticing smile
, and I exhaled softly.  "You're definitely turning blue, but you're like some freakishly hot Smurf."  Her eyes rested on my stomach, and I involuntarily nestled closer into the bars.

I held out my hand to her.  "You don't have to be afraid," I coaxed.

She kept her distance, although she appeared amused.  "Oh, I'm not
afraid
."

I raised my eyebrow.

"You made me promise, and I always keep my promises," she said.

I racked my mind and found the memory to which she referred.

"I believe you promised not to put yourself in a potentially dangerous environment.”  I licked my lips.  "Sweet thing, the only danger here is the possibility I'll combust into flames from wanting you so badly."

She gave me that deliciously flirty smile of hers but stayed where she was.  I realized this was the first time I'd ever actually worked at making a girl approach me.  When I had been alive, I had spent more time keeping them away.  Addy obviously wanted me just as badly as I did her, so the rotting corpse issue couldn't have been the
reason she didn't step forward. 
Could my macking skills really be that bad?

I held out my hand to her again
, and for a moment I thought she was going to take it.  But then, she squared her shoulders and stared at me. 

"Doyle, you made me promise."

I wanted to scream, but I swallowed it.  I just needed her in the cage.  Therefore, I needed to remain in control. 

"That was before I knew how it was going to be.  I'm not going to hurt you," I said, having no idea if my words were the truth.

She seemed so close to me, but I knew if I reached for her, I would come up short.  I had thought having her closer to me would satisfy some of my need for her.  But having her just out of my reach was so much worse.  My entire body began to throb, and I was growing desperate.

"I love you," I said
.  "Please, Addy.  I need you."  There was the slightest, intentional whimper to my voice.  I did my best to appear sincere and emanate safety as I waited for her response.

She lowered her eyes and shoved her thumbs into her back pockets.  "I love you too," she said, rocking back on her heels.  "And that is why, I think I should go."

White, hot rage bubbled over.  There was no reining it in this time.  I felt my face contort with indignation. 

"They told me I wasn't supposed to feel pain!" I screamed.  "But they lied!"  Sh
e took a step back in surprise.  Her skin blanched to an even paler shade, and her eyes widened.

"This hurts.  I
t hurts so bad."  I hung my head and began to cry.  Even I didn't know if I were still acting or not.  "I would do it for you.  How could you let me suffer like this?  If you loved me?" I spat, full of resentment and barely above a whisper.

"Okay," she said softly.

I picked up my head, renewed with hope.

"Okay, I'll come in.  But we're doing this my way."

21

T
he fury I had been feeling was instantly replaced with lust.  Addy was agreeing to enter the cage.  I ran my tongue over my teeth and my breathing quickened.

"Whatever you want, I'll do it," I agreed.

"I promised you I wouldn't put myself in danger so I'm not going to," she said, eyeing the restraints in the back of the room.  "You're going to be tied down."

I followed her gaze to the straps and smiled wickedly.  Looking back at Addy, I rubbed my jawline with the pads of my forefinger and thumb. 

"Anything you say."  I sprinted to the locks and leaned backed into them.  The metal enclosed my flesh.

Seeing the green light flash above me, Addy unlocked the cell door.  I watched, panting, as she slowly neared me.  When she stood directly in front of me, I bucked at the straps.  They held.

"Is this what you want?" she asked wantonly, touching her hand to my chest and letting it slide south to my navel.  I closed my eyes and arched my back closer to her.  The feel of her touch was exquisitely painful.

I felt her kiss my neck, just below the metal, and rest her hands on my hips.  My hands strained against their bindings.  I looked down at Addy and saw her staring up at me with huge, dark eyes while she continued to lightly kiss her way down my chest.

"What the hell!?" screamed a stupefied Chuck from the outside the cage.

At once, Addy ceased her delightful assault on my body.  I thrashed at the restraints and shrieked in
Chuck's direction.  The metal cut into my flesh, but I didn't care.  I didn't stop.

"Addy, get out of there, NOW," Chuck commanded.

"No," she said calmly, resting her hand on my chest.  "Shh, it's okay.  Calm down." 

I swallowed the growl forming in my lungs and quieted.  Maybe Chuck's arrival hadn't ruined anything.  I waited to see how the events played out.

"I'm sure you have good intentions, but you can't do this," Chuck stared hard at the two of us.

"This is not your concern," she replied, keeping the palm of her hand against my skin.

Chuck scoffed.  "Not my concern?  He's my best friend.  Look, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I've known Doyle a hell of a lot longer than you.  If you go through with this, he will be guilt-stricken for the rest of his non-life."

"Guilt
-stricken?  Because I eased his suffering?" she countered.

"I'm sure I don't have to tell you that Doyle is a romantic.  Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd bet money you guys never sealed the deal at the clinic.  Am I right?"  Chuck asked, unashamed of his line of questioning toward my girlfriend.

"If you're asking if we've had sex yet, the answer is no," she answered, keeping her gaze leveled at Chuck.

"Right," he said.  "And that was ultimately Doyle's decision, wasn't it?"

She nodded.

"And what reason did he give you?"

She blinked.  "He wanted it to be perfect."

Chuck looked behind her to me.  "And do you think if Doyle were in his right mind he would have thought this was any better of a scenario?"

Addy turned to face me.  I could see the self-doubt in her eyes.

"No, listen, sweetheart.
  Please don't leave me," I begged.  "I swear to you that I'll make it perfect for you in every way when I'm in the third shade.  But, please, oh Addy, please, don't go."

"It might not be Doyle's mind, but it is his body.  How am I supposed to let him suffer?" she asked, turning and addressing Chuck.

"I know it's hard to watch, but it's short-term.  And it's what he would want.  You know that."

When she turned to face me again, her cheeks were stained with tears.  She hugged me around the waist.  "I love you, Doyle."

I could sense the unsaid good-bye in her voice.  I writhed against my shackles in panic.  "Don't go, Addy.  Please don't leave me."

She released her hold on me and walked toward the door of my cell. 

"Addy!" I jerked and felt thickened blood ooze from the self-created wounds at my wrists.  "If you go then don't come back!" I screamed like a raving madman. 

She paused but kept her back toward me.

"I mean it.  If you leave me now, when I need you the most, then don't bother hanging around.  I won't need you anymore when I'm set free."  The words were acidic, and I knew I sounded like some white trash, abusive, asshole boyfriend, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Shut up, Doyle," Chuck said calmly, rolling his eyes.  He leaned down and whispered something in Addy's ear.

"You know it's true!"  I continued to rant when she made no move toward the stairs.  "You really think you're special?  I had no problem getting girls in bed before I met you, and it'll only be easier now that I don't give a fuck about hurting them."

Addy never looked back as she ran from the basement.  Chuck and I stared at one another as we
listened to her take the steps two at a time before slamming the door to the study.

"Nice," Chuck said.

He disappeared for a moment before returning with my dinner.  Placing the plate on the floor of my room, he exited and locked the door behind him.  He aimed the controller at my restraints and freed me.  There was no longer a reason to show any control.  Addy was gone, and I doubted she would ever return.  I pounced on the meat and took delight in my gluttony.

It wasn't until after I had finished that I realized Chuck had walked away and was now watching, or at least facing, the TV. 
So much the better
, I thought.  It's not like I wanted to talk to him either, the traitor.

I threw myself down on the bed and without any remorse for the way I had behaved, fell fast asleep.

It's hard to gauge the hours of the day when there is no natural sunlight available.  So I was only guessing it was morning when I awoke to find a livid Kai staring at me from the other side of the room.

"Hey jackass, wake up!  I wanna talk to you."  She aimed a small object at my bed and threw, pelting me in the side.  She had remarkably good aim for a girl who was throwing between the narrow spacing of the bars.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to poke a sleeping bear," I growled, throwing the cover over my head.

"You're an ass
, and I just came to make sure you knew it," she continued.

"
I'm an ass?
" I asked with so much incredulity that I spoke in a falsetto voice.  I removed the blanket and sat up in the bed.  "Are you kidding me?  Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds coming from
you
?  If your picture isn't next to the definition of the word
ass
in the dictionary, it's only because the word
bitch
had it trademarked."

"I don't know what she possibly sees in you.  You're selfish and conceited and quite frankly, just plain weird."

I laughed, sincerely.  "I agree.  However, I'm turning into a zombie.  What's your excuse?"

She narrowed her eyes.  "Listen here, freak.  Out of everyone in this house, I'm the most likely to put a bullet in your bra
in if things get out of control, so don't piss me off."

I rose slowly and made my way to her.  "Are you threatening me?" I asked.

Kai swallowed, and for only a second, doubt crossed her face.  "It's more than a threat.  If you ever hurt Addy again, I will kill you."

I stared at her, debating the best way to proceed, when I caught her looking at my body.  I had
gone to bed wearing only a pair of low-slung pajama bottoms.  I smiled, and she turned crimson, though she refused to look away.

"It's not what y
ou think.  You repulse me," she said with contempt.

"
Your mouth says
no
, but your pheromones scream
yes
.  Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell Chuck you were checking me out," I said, goading her.

"You can tell him whatever you want.  It's not like he's going to believe you, because I wasn't."  She smiled.  "I wouldn't look at you if you were the last half-zombie on earth."

"There's no shame in it.  I mean, hell, I turn myself on.  Look at this body.  It's friggin' ridiculous."  I made a show out of lacing my hands behind my neck and flexing my arms.

"Watch your back," Kai said before stomping up the stairs.

"No need!" I shouted back.  "I'm sure you'll be watching it for me!"

For the second time in two days, a girl slammed the door to the study on me.

I paced the length of the room, thinking about Addy.  Obviously, she had wasted no time running upstairs and sobbing to everyone how she'd been mistreated.  I tried to tell myself that was a good thing.  Maybe the household would convince her that I wasn't any good for her.  Maybe Russell would make her leave, for her own safety.  The only problem with that was… I still wanted her.

I began pacing again.  I didn't want to want her, but I did.  Something tickled at the back of my mind.  What had Bradbury said? 
I suspect he will be greatly frustrated at having you so near and not being able to touch you, not only because you are female, but because a pheromone bond has been established between the two of you.  If there's been a bond, royals will only mate with the bonded partner until the partner dies.

I punched the concrete wall and screeched.  I wanted her, I would always want her, and I had screamed at her to leave.  I slid into the desk chair and racked my brain for a way to fix the damage I had done.

There was a small CD player/FM radio combo on the desktop, and I flipped it on.  A male country singer was begging a girl to stay and the lyrics hit a little too close to home.  I instinctively smashed the radio into the wall.  Parts of the transmitter scattered across the floor.  My anger soared, and in a frustration-fueled rage, I ransacked my entire room.  I threw the writing desk against the concrete, snapping it in half.  The bookshelf was my next focus, as I sent it toppling.  Books and papers scattered across the floor.  I hurled the family portraits against the bars, sending a spray of glass shards on both sides of the basement. 

Moving into the bathroom, I smashed the mirror.  Long after all the pieces had fallen to the floor, I continued to strike at where my image
had once reflected.  Withdrawing a mangled right hand, I sank to the floor.

"That was quite a tantrum," Stephen said from the other side of the basement. 

I glanced his way briefly.  "Is she leaving?"

Stephen slid my breakfast under the gap in the door.  The smell of it beckoned me, but I remained where I was.

"Come eat," he instructed.

"Is she leaving?" I asked again.

Stephen sat cross-legged on the floor.  "No."

I picked myself up out of the glass and made my way to the food.  "How angry is she?"

"She's not angry at all from what I can see."

I crouched at the plate and fisted large portions in
to my mouth until it was gone.  With a gentle movement, I slid it back through the dinner slot.

"Let me see your teeth," Stephen said.  I pulled down my bottom lip. 

"They're growing in fast.  It shouldn't be too much longer."

"So she doesn't hate me?"

"Which she?" Stephen smiled.

I rolled my eyes.  "Addy."

"No, she doesn't hate you.  We're all aware this isn't really you, which is exactly the reason why Russell and I chose to keep her away in the first place."

I grimaced.  "Maybe it's not who I was, but it's who I am now.  Maybe she should leave."

"Should I go tell her that?" Stephen asked, slightly amused.  I glared at him.  "I didn't think so," he said.  "You don't want her to go and she's not going.  Let's keep our focus on everyone surviving the second shade, okay?  When you enter the third shade, you'll be able to throw yourself that pity party in earnest."

I reluctantly nodded.  Stephen looked around at the debris.  "First thing's first.  Let's get this cleaned up before Gretchen sees it."

I sighed and stood.  "I guess this means I need to be restrained?"

Stephen's grin was wide.  "Oh, let me clarify.  I didn't mean me.  I'm in charge of your medical care.  I'm
not your maid.  Let me hunt you down a broom and trash bags, and I'll be back."

I considered throwing part two of my hissy fit, but for once, I didn't feel
that angry.  Addy wasn't leaving, and she didn't hate me.  It was more than I had expected.  I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for Stephen to return with cleaning supplies.

* * *

A couple days later, Chuck was back on rotation for security watch.  It was the first time I had seen him since the night I'd screamed at Addy.  I had been so angry at her, that it was a full day before I realized I should have been angrier with Chuck.  What business did he have telling my girlfriend what she was and wasn't allowed to do with me?  Maybe Kai had been right, at least about Chuck.  Maybe he was too used to getting his way.