Of Daughter and Demon (15 page)

I slow the car to a stop by the guard kiosk,
which is empty. The iron gate has not been repaired, just hauled to
the side. I see the hood ornament of my old Chrysler caught up in
the wrought iron wreckage. It’s dark up here, Alice, darker than I
ever seen it. It was bad enough when it was lit up like a giant lie
but now it’s worse, it feels as bad and as full of death as the
house on 110th where I found you, only difference is your Ma’s
house ain’t so broken down.

I pull up the long cement drive and park next
to one of them brand new Benz’s your Ma has. That thing used to
glow, it was so shiny, even the tires shone, but the tires ain’t
there no more. The car’s been completely stripped like the remains
of a zebra on the Serengeti after the hyenas and the vultures had
their fill. It’s sittin’ on cement blocks and is surrounded by a
tinklin’ sea of broken safety glass.

“What the hell,” I mutter; lookin’ again at
the empty husk of a mansion standing over me like the risen dead, a
chill goes through my spine. So I watch, the highest and biggest
window in the place suddenly lights up, an’ it’s just like a dead
body layin’ in its casket and openin’ its eye.

I head up the steps and knock on the door,
but the contact of my fist against the wood pushes the door open
part way. The darkness inside seems to leak out and wrap itself
around me. With some effort I push the door open all the way and
let the darkness pull me in. The open door throws some light into
the massive foyer, and I see it’s in about the same shape as the
Benz out front. Everything that was once good about it or beautiful
it is gone, and it
was
a beautiful foyer, Alice, your Ma
always did have an eye for decorating. I look behind the door and
see Carl, the butler, layin’ there dead with a bullet hole in his
forehead. I feel terrible about what happened to you, Carl, I sure
never meant to bust that hand of yours. I hope you’re in better
place, someplace where you have people to wait on you or just treat
you equal. He is? Alice, that’s great, I feel better now that you
tole me. Hurry, you say? She’s upstairs? I kinda figured it was her
that turned that one light on. I head up the long flight of stairs.
The landing between the first set and the two sets goin’ either to
the left or right smells like bum piss, which is worse than any
piss, even dog piss. I know if I were to do a little pokin’ around
downstairs I’d find a couple rummies passed out or junkies on the
nod, or some crazies sober but sleepin’ their fevered sleep.

At the end of a long hallway I see the light,
just a little pinprick, but it grows larger as I hurry to it. I
feel this sense of urgency now, an’ I know if I want answers I
gotta get ‘em quick. I pick up my pace from a fast walk, to a jog,
to a run, to sprintin’ as fast as I can, really bookin’, that’s
what we called it as kids, I’m really bookin’, why the hell we
called it that, who knows, but it’s the only way I ever been able
to describe an all out mad dash like this one. I figure just bein’
out the hospital an all I won’t be able to keep it up too long, but
it’s just the opposite, I feel like if I had the room and took a
couple big runnin’ jumps I could push right off from the floor and
fly. The lighted doorway at the end of the hall comes at me like
the headlamp of a freight train, and when I burst through it I see
Angie standin’ on a chair in the middle a the room, with a long
piece of rope tied around her neck, the other end tied to a rafter.
There’s a couple empty pill bottles an’ a empty glass on the floor
next to the chair.

She looks up at me and her face is black with
runnin’ mascara, or maybe her tears are black, because I shoulda
believed you, Alice, and a mother who done what she done can only
have a black heart, black blood, tears like spilt ink. Your Ma
gives me this big doped up grin and I know her plan is to pass out
and fall off the chair so she don’t hafta actually knock it out
from under herself.

“Why, look who it is, it’s Harry! What on
earth
happened to your arm?”

“You know what happened damn good an’ well!
How could you do it, Angie?”

“Oh, don’t be so bourgeois.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

She laughs at me. “It doesn’t matter why I
did it Harry, all that matters is that I did. That arm of yours is
quite interesting.” She squints her eyes. “Is it...is it
growing
?”

“But our
daughter
, Angie!”

“Oh, how do you even know about it?”

I took a step forward and put my hand in my
pocket.

“
Stop
! Harry, you come a step closer
and I’ll hang myself right now. You can talk to me, if you must,
but stay back or I’ll do it.”

“OK, Angie, I’ll stay right here.”

Her smile turned to a scowl of rage and she
spat at me. It got mostly on herself, on her dress, but she didn’t
seem to notice.

I dug in my pocket again and pulled out the
baggie Joe had given me, and in it was a scrap of blue cloth, with
your blood on it, Alice, and that scrap of blue is the exact same
shade as the dress she’s wearin’, the same dress she’s wearin’ in
that pitcher I got next to my bed, the one with me an you an her in
it, I was sleepin’ next to the answer all this time and never
noticed.

Except part of me did, Alice, an’ again I’m
sorry I didn’t listen to you. But when Joe showed me that scrap of
cloth the first thing I thought of was your Ma’s dress, and that’s
what made me sick. I couldn’t believe it, wouldn’t believe it, so I
ignored it ‘til it’s standin’ right here in my face.

“Where did you get that?” Angie asked. I
could see where the scrap came from, too, there was a piece, this
piece, torn outta the hem.

“She was holdin’ it, Alice was, tryin’ to
tell me it was you all along. You woulda been dead a week ago
if--”

“You ruined everything, Harry.
Everything
! Do you see how much I had? Look around! It’s
gone now! I felt it in my head when you killed Him, and I knew
everything would be taken away.”

“Well, you’re just breaking my heart.”

“Fuck you!” she screamed. “You ruined my
life! I had
everything
!”

“You sold our daughter to a demon to get it!
You wanna know what happened to her? That thing gave her to some
puke to keep for him, to hold onto her, an’ for years she was taken
pitchers of and beat and
raped
and all these pukes got off
on it, they sold the pitches and the videos to other pukes, all so
you could live up here like you got a diamond in your twat--”

“Harry--”

“An’ when it came time, that demon took her
to the basement of some junkie hideout an’ he
ripped
her in
half
and drank her
blood
!”

“Harry?”

“How could you do that to our little girl?” I
wasn’t mad now, I was before and I would be again, but right now I
was just sad, sad like I ain’t never been, and sayin’ all them
things that happened to you just tore my heart up, Alice.

“Harry? She wasn’t even yours.”

“What did you say?”

“Alice. She wasn’t your daughter, Harry.”

“You’re lying.”

“No, Harry, I wish I was, because it would
make all of this so much funnier. But I was fucking other people
the whole time we were together, most of them right in our
bed.”

Why should I believe her? She’s evil, pure
an’ simple, more evil than any demon ever been, cuz a demon is made
that way, they ain’t got a choice, but she had a choice, all right,
she had a choice and a chance and she took it, she sold your soul
as only a mother can, Alice, I learned that when I banished that
demon what kilt you.

“Goodbye, Harry.” she rocks the chair back
an’ forth, it falls out from under her as I draw my gun, she
dangles there for just a second until I get a shot off. It wasn’t a
direct hit, not like I hoped, but I guess it worked out well
enough. The bullet skinned the rope and frayed it, she swung a
little, your Ma did, eyes bulgin’, face goin’ blue, and the rope
snapped and she fell to the floor, landed right on her face.

I couldn’t let her take this from me, not
now, not after everything she said. I want to do every bad thing I
can think of to her, Alice, I want to do shit to her that no one’s
ever done to a person before, I got ideas that make the Nazis look
like pussies, and I want to skin her and roll her in salt an’ piss
on her. I want to erase her inch by inch with a fuckin’ belt sander
and pour acid on her a drop at a time, I want to yank her teeth out
and pound nails back in, I want to squish her eyeballs right in
their sockets with a pair a needle nose pliers, I want to cut off
her arms and legs and pull her head off with my bare hands, then
cap off the stumps and hook her up to life support so her heart
keeps beatin’, her lungs keep breathin’, all so I can beat the
lumped torso that’s left of her, so I can cut it and burn it and
kick it and fuckin’ kill it over and over and over again every day
for the rest of my life, and all this is nothing compared to what
she deserves, cuz you was the only good thing I ever really done,
Alice. The one redeeming thing I brought into the world and she
sold it for what? For a fuckin’ house that don’t keep her no warmer
than the little apartment we was livin’ in, for cars that don’t get
her no where the old Chrysler couldn’t of taken her.

But I don’t do any of it, Alice. She was your
Ma, and part of you was part of her, and none of that stuff will
ever bring you back. Instead I walk over to where she’s layin’ on
the floor, cryin’, face down, and I grab what’s left of the noose
in one hand and put the other on her head, bend over, and whisper
in her ear; “Burn in hell you bitch. BURN!” and I yank the rope as
hard as I can one way, and push her head the other, her neck snaps
and she don’t feel a thing. I don’t know what you can do to me now,
God; I don’t know where to go when I die because seein’ Angie roast
in hell would seem like heaven to me.

“That’s not all you wanted to do, was it,
Harry?” A voice asks from behind me. I turn around and a tall man
in a black robe is standing there, staring into me. His eyes are
black, and when he smiles, I shiver.

“Who are you?”

“Oh, come now, Harry, you know who I am. You
saw me when you killed my demon.”

“Father Valentine.”

“That’s just right, and let me say; when you
snapped her little neck you looked like something of a demon
yourself.”

I drew my gun again and leveled it right
between his eyes, the barrel no more than six feet from his face.
He didn’t even flinch, he laughed.

“That won’t do what you want it to, Harry,
trust me.”

“How do you know my name?”

“Oh, come come, I brokered the deal with your
wife. Not that difficult either, if I may say so. All it took
was...well, look around. I could have given her the world, but all
she wanted was…
stuff
. I dare say we’re all a little better
off without your Angie around, wouldn’t you agree?”

I don’t like this, Alice, he’s doin’
somethin’ to my head, it feels like I’m dreamin’ or somethin’, or I
got a fever.

“I think you can stop talking to her, Harry,
you’ve avenged her. She’s in a better place now, and I’m sure she
thanks you.”

“How--”

“--do I know what you’re thinking? Same as my
associate Mr. Duluoz does, Harry. We aren’t normal men, and the
usual rules don’t apply.”

“You--”

“Worked with Cain? Only in a sense. Not the
way you’re thinking, we’re not partners or anything; he had nothing
to do with the deal I put together with your wife.”

“Ex-wife.”

“Now, yes. Cain and I, we’re regular guys
where we come from, Harry, and we’re a dime a dozen. Think of the
universe as a gigantic, faceless corporation. Two men work for this
same corporation, one in research, and the other in say,
acquisitions
. They never work on the same project, they have
different offices on different floors, but they answer to the same
board of directors. That’s the extent of the relationship between
Mr. Dulouz and me. But I have an offer for you, Harry, an offer
like I had for your wife.”

“I don’t want anythin’ you can give me.”

“Not even your daughter? I can bring her
back, Harry. I can do this for you. Give yourself to me, Harry,
work for me,
with
me, and you’ll be able to see your little
girl grow into a woman, into a mother. Wouldn’t you like some
grandchildren, Harry? Make up for all that time you lost with
little Alice?”

I hear you screamin’, Alice, but I don’t
wanna listen, not yet, not if there’s a chance I could get you
back. “What would I have to do?”

He smiled big, Father Valentine did, and that
smile made my mind up for me. “You would make a wonderful Hunter,
Harry, that’s what you already are, in some ways. You just won’t
give up, ever, and there are beings out there that need to be
tracked down, same as my demon did, perhaps, and if you can do that
for me, I can give you your daughter.”

“I don’t believe you.”

His eyes widened, just for a second, and
you’re right Alice, he’s lyin’ to me, I can feel it, too.

“Why not?”

“You ain’t no god. You used to be a man, I
think, a real priest. Yeah, you died once, didn’t you?”

“Preposterous. Don’t throw this chance away,
Harry. Think of all the time you missed, those four long years
where little Alice wasn’t with her father, where you weren’t there
to teach her and love her and just watch her grow like a father is
supposed to.”

“It was you that took her away.” And with
this I pulled the trigger. Everything slowed down, and I saw the
bullets leave the gun, Alice, I
saw
it, and that’s just
somethin’ that ain’t supposed to happen. I saw the bullet spin over
and over as it crawled across the room, his black eyes opened wide
and I watched the bullet, I saw it cast a shadow on his face and
watched it spinning into his skin, saw the first tiny fleck of
blood and shred of flesh, my ears filled with the sound of a vacuum
and everything sped back up as I watched his twisted brain and his
old, cold blood bein’ blasted out the back of his head along with
greasy splatters of tattered scalp with hair still stuck to it. The
vacuum sound got louder and I realized it was comin’ from him, from
Valentine. The sound was in him, it was him. It stopped the bullet
mid air and pulled it back through his head, back out the entrance
hole and sent it whipping back into the barrel of my gun. My hand
felt like it got smashed with a twenty pound sledge hammer. The
blood, bits of skull, brain and scalp all stopped mid air too and
then sucked back into his head, maybe not in the same place
exactly, but I’d bet pretty close. I saw the hole in his forehead
close and there he stood, for just a second, then the vacuum turned
to wind and his body turned to ash, and he crumbled onto the rich
carpet. As I watched, the ashes got smaller, or maybe dissolved, or
just plain disappeared, but within a moment or two there weren’t no
trace of him left, like I been in here talkin’ to myself, like he
came outta my head and went back in once a certain combination of
chemicals worked itself through my system. I might almost believe
it, too, if it weren’t for my hand and my gun. The left arm, the
freaky little kid arm, was still growin’ and I was gettin' more
feeling in it, I could tell it was gettin' stronger, but now it’s
the right arm I got the problem with. It’s dead numb, that hand I
held the gun with, numb like it ain’t never been there, like I was
born without it. It’s kinda swollen and turnin’ a little red. I
stare at it and think real hard tryin’ to make a fist, it twitches
a little but that’s all. I look to the floor and see what’s left of
the gun; it’s just a mangled piece a metal now. If I hadn’t become
close friends with that gun, hadn’t carried it around all the years
on the force and all the years after, I never woulda recognized it.
It looked like some shitty sculpture a art school student failin’
industrial design would make, tryin’ to pass it off as a statement
against violence or somethin’, I don’t really know about all that,
but I know it’s over, Alice, I know you’re free now, and I’m free
now, and I know I did everything I could. I avenged your death,
from the mother what sold you, to the demon that kilt you, to the
guy that brokered the deal, and all the pukes in between, every
last one of ‘em is dead. They all died horrible deaths for the most
part. Your Ma got off the easiest I think, even though she deserved
the worst, but the hate in me is gone, and so is the rage, and the
hole those things leave behind, maybe I can fill ‘em with good
things, maybe I can fill ‘em with love again.