Ocean Pearl (7 page)

'Is that why you think I set that booby trap around
Megan's bed – 'cause I'm threatened by her? Not
'cause I'm trying to get the reserve called up?'

'Oh, Georgie.' At least that got Jake laughing. Even I
felt a bit better. 'No wonder your soccer team misses
you. You're loyal.'

I was and I was proud of it too.

So when I went back up to the bungalow and found
all those messages from Ace, I felt bad.

I knew she'd be pacing around her bedroom back
home wondering why I hadn't called to give her my
version of what Jules thought of the photo album.

Micki was lying on her bed writing a postcard.

'Are you going to call Ace back?' she asked me. 'She's
at home.'

'Did you speak to her?'

'No.' Micki went back to the postcard writing. 'But it
said "Ace home" when it rang for the third time ten
minutes ago.'

'Why didn't you answer it?'

Micki shrugged.

'I'll call her now,' I said. 'Do you want to say hi?'

'No.'

Okaaaay. Micki was being weird.

The postcard was probably for her dad. That'd make
sense – her mood, that is.

I hadn't got the chance to ask Kia about Micki
moving in with them. Although where on earth had
Ace got that info from? She'd never told me. She just
said suss it out.

I sat on the edge of Micki's bed and squeezed her
little foot.

'Are you writing to your dad?'

'Yes.'

'Do you . . . miss him?'

'Not really.'

'Are you okay, Micki?'

'Why wouldn't I be?'

At home, I had cut myself in the bathroom lots and lots
of times. Yet when I went in there to pee I never thought
about it. It wasn't like I'd be sitting on the loo remembering
every minute of every time.

So why was it different in the Starfish Bungalow? I'd
only cut myself twice here, yet every time I sat on the
loo, like now, I'd have to catch my breath and tell my
mind to calm down. The pressure at camp hadn't even
started. So what was going on in my stupid head?

Just make it to the next minute and you'll be okay. One
minute at a time.

Everything had gone so well. We'd got through
the whole weekend without anyone mentioning the
cutting. It almost came up when Ace made the
comment about Seahorse Girl and the wetsuits. I also
had to breathe and calm my mind down then 'cause I
was expecting the whole thing to explode in my face.
But it didn't.

Georgie had kept her promise. I was sure of it now.

If Georgie had told them, Ace would've asked heaps
more hairy questions. That was how she usually got
her info. And Micki would've asked me straight out.

These days Micki and I were so tight. There were no
secrets between us – except for that one. I felt guilty
about it, like it was in the way of our friendship.

Sometimes the counsellor would describe the
cutting as being like my secret boyfriend. She'd talk
about how this secret boyfriend stopped me from
having honest relationships with my family and
friends. At first I was like, yeah right. But now I got it
because that's exactly what it was like.

Normal girls with normal lives didn't have secret
boyfriends. In fact, they didn't have secrets. That's
another reason I'd decided that it was time to tell Micki
the truth: that I had broken the pact I'd made with my
Starfish Sisters and hurt myself again. It was just a
matter of finding the right time.

Last night certainly wasn't that time. Micki was so
quiet. She was even a bit grumpy and that was usually
my job. Megan being in the bungalow made it different
too. It wasn't like Georgie and I could just ask her what
was up.

How could I calm my mind with someone
thumping on the bathroom door like that? It was only
just six am!

It had to be Megan. Not even Georgie's fists could
make the door shake like that.

'Hurry up in there!' It was Megan. 'Yoga starts in
five minutes.'

'I'm just brushing my teeth,' I called out from the
toilet.

'Yeah well, I want to brush mine too.'

Bang! Bang! Megan kept bashing away. Just like
Georgie had done that day.

'Kia? Kia!' Neither Georgie's voice nor her fists
pounding on the door of their upstairs bathroom had
made me stop. If anything, it helped me push the
scissors deeper into my flesh.

'Kia!' The door handle rattled and jumped. 'Kia?
Open up.'

Then suddenly it stopped and everything went quiet.

I closed my eyes and felt the first drops of blood
glide down my thigh, taking my breath and pain with
them.

'Aaagghhh.' It was amazing, all that tightness
draining from my body.

Then the noise started again.

Pit pat on the floorboards; pit pat
pit pat PIT PAT
getting faster and closer; the door handle shaking and
squeaking. Then a sudden rush of light and a voice
and a hand pulling at me. 'Kia!'

Georgie's face was up close to mine. Her breath
smelt of Vegemite. My shoulder stung as her hand
squeezed and pulled at my skin.

'What are you doing? Huh? What?'

The roll of toilet paper spun and squeaked as
Georgie tore and ripped at it.

'Why did you do this? Hey? You've just come from a
sponsorship meeting! Isn't that what you wanted, Kia?'

I pushed Georgie's hand off my thigh and held the
toilet paper there myself. In return, she bashed the
basin with her fist and slid down onto the floor while
the key she'd been clutching bounced along the tiles.

'I don't get it, Kia. Why didn't you talk to me? You
could've told me you were feeling like this,' Georgie
said, sobbing. 'That was the whole point of making that
pact in the Starfish Bungalow. Did you think about
that? Did that – that promise you made to us mean
anything?'

Georgie suddenly shouted. 'Kia! Say something!'

'Are you going to tell Ace and Micki?'

Georgie hid her face between her knees. 'Shit.' She
wept. 'Shit. Shit. Shit.'

I got up, put my toiletry bag into my backpack and
washed my hands. I wanted to get out of the bathroom
and get away from her. I didn't want her to touch me.
I didn't want her near me.

She tried to grab at my skirt but I swung my bag
against her.

Georgie didn't know what it was like to be me. She
didn't know what it felt like to want to hide from the
rest of the world in case they saw the real you. She
never stuffed up.

'I won't tell the girls,' Georgie whispered, her
bottom lip quivering. 'Because you need time to get
better, Kia. You need help.'

'What would you know!' I spat back. Then I opened
the door and left.

My parents came into my room at 9.17 pm. My mum
had cancelled her night shift. Instead she stood there
in her dressing gown clutching a handful of tissues to
her mouth.

She came to my bed and sat down. 'Show me,' she
whispered, wrapping her fingers around her neck.

I didn't feel scared. I didn't feel sad. I didn't feel
anything as I pulled my nightie up to show her my work.

Dad left the room. Mum didn't. For a while
she didn't speak. She just stared at my marks. As she
opened her mouth, I heard the spit catch in her throat.
'Your skin,' she choked. My mother's cool fingertips ran
across my thighs. 'Your skin, Kia. Your beautiful skin.'

Megan was on breakfast duty! Having half an hour
without her yelling and pushing us around was total
bliss. It was kind of like when the school bully's away for
the morning at a dentist's appointment because the
downside was that she was coming back and it'd start all
over again. You couldn't wipe the smiles off our faces,
though – at least Georgie's and my face. Micki still
looked grumpy.

'Did you guys notice how Megan could not lie still
during the meditation at the end of yoga?' Georgie
asked. 'She was wriggling and groaning and tapping
her fingers on the floor. I really wanted to tell her to
shut up.'

'Is that what that tapping noise was?' I said. 'Could
you hear it, Micki?'

'No.'

I flashed Georgie a quick 'What the hell?' look.
Georgie signalled back with a one-centimetre lift of her
shoulders. That was our secret code for 'Don't ask me
what's up her bum!'

'She didn't sleep last night,' Micki said, looking
around the room at anything except us. 'I heard her get
up and leave the bungalow a few times.'

'What was she doing?' I asked.

'Walking around outside.'

'That must've meant you weren't asleep either,'
Georgie said to Micki.

Micki began to scrape her knife across the plate.

'Are you tired?' Georgie asked. 'You seem a bit . . . off.'

'I'm fine.'

This time I did the tiny shrug.

'Well,' Georgie began in an overly chirpy voice, 'I
have really got myself in a situation, girls. I need some
advice.' She sat forward and directed the conversation
to Micki. Georgie was super good at fixing an atmosphere
'cause everyone took notice of her. 'You know
how Jules thought I meant I'd take him for a surf when
I really just meant he could borrow my wetsuit? I got a
text from Ace to say she'd forwarded him my number
'cause he wants to make an arrangement with me.'

'To take him out for a surf?' I asked.

'Yeah.'

'Hubba hubba!'

Micki still hadn't cracked a smile.

'So, what are you going do?' I said. 'Turn your
phone off? That's what I'd do.'

'Dunno. I mean, Jules is a nice guy and everything.'

'"Everything" being he's probably the best-looking
guy on the planet!' I giggled. 'This'll probably be your
only chance to take a hottie like him out for a surf.'

Micki's lips still didn't move.

Georgie sighed. 'So, any advice for me, Miss Micki?'

I swear I saw Micki flinch like Georgie had just
called her a bad name. But she didn't say anything.
Instead she stood up and took her plate away.

'What's up with her?' I whispered to Georgie.

'I don't know. But I need to ask you something.'

'What?'

'About Micki but not now,' she answered. 'Later.'

'Give us a clue?'

'Shhh! She's coming back.'

'What's the big secret?' Micki said, staring straight at
Georgie.

Georgie shifted in her seat. 'What secret?' she
answered.

'Don't worry,' Micki said through teeth that were
jammed together. 'I probably know it anyway.'

I racked my brains for what could be wrong with
Micki. Had I accidentally done something or said something?
There was nothing I could think of. I'd been a
good friend. I'd done all the right things a friend was
meant to do.

Had Georgie done something to offend her? Did
Micki think she should've given the album to Jules
'cause Ace had nominated her to mind it in her bag?

No! Micki'd even said to me, 'I'm not going to meet
Jules if you're not.' I'd answered, 'No way am I going!'
And she'd gone, 'Good.'

It wasn't something Megan had done or Micki
would've told us. Yesterday, Megan'd been off her head
in the surf, snaking Micki on the waves and stuff, but
that was the type of thing that got – no, used to get – to
me, not Micki. She knew it was just Megan being an
aggro pain in the bum. That was nothing new.

Had Micki changed her mind about moving in with
us? Maybe we needed to have a big talk? The problem
was that Georgie didn't know about the situation and
telling her would mean having to explain why Micki
was coming to live with us and that was complicated.

I wasn't sure how Micki felt about others knowing
what her dad did. She was very, very private about it.
But it was only Georgie. Georgie was like me. She'd be
a bit shocked at first but then she'd be fine. The thing
that'd fully upset her would be that Micki had been
dealing with it on her own and for so long, 'cause that's
what made me feel so horrible.

Secrets – the more I lived with them, the more I
realised how bad they were.

I was going to tell Micki my secret tonight.

'I was on every bomb, tearing them up like an assassin!
You should've seen me. I was charging. It was sick.
I was just rippin' the bag out of them.'

Megan's eyes were popping out of her head. She
looked like she was crazy and she was raving and
raving on to Jake and maybe to us, but we weren't
really listening. At least, I was pretending not to. But I
couldn't stop staring at her.

For the last ten minutes she had not stopped
crapping on about some surfing trip she'd been on.
Micki, Georgie and I were just standing there waiting
for Jake to tell her to shut up so we could start our
expression session. But he didn't! Jake was nodding
and going, 'Really! I must look it up on the net.'

Georgie started whistling. At last Jake got the
message.

'Okay, Megan, that's enough,' he told her. 'Let's get
down to business.'

'Oh, it's so cool, Jake. You would totally think you'd
died and gone to heaven. Me and my brother were – '

'Megan,' Jake said, 'focus time.'

'Yeah, yeah! Sorry,' Megan said, stuffing another
piece of chewing gum into her gob.

'Can I have one?' Georgie the brave asked.

'Nah, don't have enough.'

Georgie pulled a cross-eyed face. Finally Micki
smiled.

'It's eleven thirty-five am,' Jake told us. 'You have an
hour for this session. Regard it as a contest, the same
conditions, ride as many waves as you can get. There's
a bit on offer so make good choices and show us your
stuff.'

Micki asked, 'Are you scoring us?'

'No,' he replied. 'We're still assessing what you've
been working on. New moves, new tricks, all the
usual.'

Shyan was coming down the sand. 'Sorry, got
caught up with something.'

'Georgie, you were executing some good backside
barrels yesterday,' Jake said. 'Just concentrate on
relaxing your upper body a bit more.'

'When she's pig-dogging she's sticking her arse out
too much.' Megan was chewing so hard and fast on her
gum she sounded like a cow. 'You've got to drag your
arm into the wall more to stall.' Now she was sticking
out her arm and looking like some unco superhero.
'You know, like this. Like this.'

'Megan, I hope you're planning on spitting out that
gum before you get into the water,' said Shyan. 'It's not
environmentally friendly, if you know what I mean.'

'I won't lose it in the surf, if that's what you mean.'

'I mean, I want you to spit it out.'

'I don't want to spit it out,' Megan scoffed.

I felt Georgie's foot on mine.

'I always surf with gum!'

Megan'd never chewed gum while she was surfing
before. At least, not here in January.

'I don't have a problem with people chewing gum,'
Shyan said to Megan. 'Just not in the surf.'

Megan spat it out. A fat ball of chewing gum flew
out of her mouth like a missile and landed at Shyan's
feet. Georgie's foot pressed harder on mine.

'Pick it up, Megan, and apologise to Shyan. Now!'
Jake barked. He was giving her the total death stare.
'Micki, Kia and Georgie, in the surf please.'

We picked up our boards and ran.

The rip was strong and it took us no time to paddle
out. In a way it was a bummer Megan wasn't with us as
she was fully into an early paddling race. By early I
meant the minute her board hit the water she'd be
hunting for a battle.

A set ruined by too many flat spots churned
through. If there was one thing Jake was picky about in
an expression session, it was that we selected the right
wave. He didn't like us just mucking around on
anything for fun. 'That's for your free surfs,' he'd say.
So we waited, watched and discussed – which was
what I was dying to do. Megan was bad!