Ocean Pearl (22 page)

In under forty-eight hours we'd know which four of
us had made the national team. I was leaving camp
without a sponsor and maybe that was a sign that I
hadn't been good enough. When I lost Megan I lost my
aggro. Maybe I'd put that energy somewhere else, or
rather onto someone else. It'd been so easy to hate Ace
and yet she was my friend.

The siren blew. Ace picked up her board and
chucked off her Kelly Slater cap. It frisbeed along the
beach towards me.

Ace hadn't told Jules about her hair because she
thought he'd stop liking her. But Jules had stopped
liking her because she didn't tell him. Maybe Ace had
presumed that because Jules was good looking then he
viewed life with the same pair of beautiful eyes.

Now I'd never know because Ace and I wouldn't be
close like that again. I'd broken the number one rule.
I'd stolen someone else's boyfriend. Worse than that,
one of my best friends' boyfriend.

Take two, except this time Georgie had gone to the
Dolphin Bungalow to try and pump the info out of
Laura. I think she felt it was the least she could do seeing
she'd thrown us into her mess.

But typical Georgie was more efficient than efficient.
She went one step further and brought the
keeper of the rumour, Laura, plus Zena back to our
bungalow.

'She wants to cut a deal,' Georgie told me and Micki
with a sneaky grin curled on her lips. 'Laura said she'll
tell us what she knows and how she knows it, if we tell
her what the catfight was about last night. Deal or no
deal, girls?'

'We'll deal,' Micki answered.

'Nothing for nothing,' Laura said, grinning.

'You first,' Georgie said.

We sat on the floor, Georgie, Micki and I leaning our
backs against Micki's bed and Zena and Laura leaning
against the wall. Even now we were careful not to get
too close.

'Towards the end of my panel interview, a bee flew
into the room,' Laura said. 'That guy with the beard
yelled out how he was allergic to them and didn't have
one of those EpiPens on him.'

I didn't know what Georgie and Micki were
thinking but their faces looked how mine felt – what
kind of a spin was this? Georgie was an idiot for
inviting Laura in. She was playing head games with us.

'I swear, this is the truth,' Laura said, looking back at
us with big goggle eyes. 'I promise. I know it sounds
random but wait till I get to the good bit. Then you'll
understand.'

'Okay,' Georgie offered on our behalf.

'So, the adults are running around trying to shoo the
bee out of the window and the guy with the beard,
who was sitting the closest to me, put his clipboard
down on the table and said, "I better leave the room."
I was just sitting there thinking: this is awkward.'

Georgie gave a snort.

'There were sheets of paper on top of his clipboard.
His writing was in thick black pen so I didn't even have
to look that closely.'

'What did it say?' I snapped.

Laura raised her hand. 'Easy! I'm coming to that bit,
Kia,' she answered. 'It said, and this is not exactly word
for word, but pretty close: "Team one and team two
seem to have a natural affiliation with one another, in
and out of the water." There were a few names after
that, not ours but. Then after the names it said "recommend
these teams be kept in place as they are working
well together and that in itself is a" – a time something.
It may've said "time saver". I couldn't read it.' Laura
shrugged. 'That's it.'

Georgie was nodding. But I'd seen her nod like that
before. It didn't always mean she agreed or believed.
Georgie was good at psych-out games too.

'It makes sense,' Zena said to us. 'Me and Jussie and
Steph have competed heaps together. So have Kia
and Georgie. We know each other's style and what
we're good at, what we can't handle.'

'That's true,' Micki answered. 'And if you think of it
like in our team Ace and Georgie are the powerful big-wave
surfers and in your team Laura and Jussie are. So
team one and team two, the way they are now, each
has a surfer for every condition. Big, small –'

It was hard to tell my mind to slow down because
the excitement was starting to fizz in my toes. Maybe,
just maybe, the Starfish Sisters could stay together.

Georgie karate chopped my hopes in two. 'What
that bloke wrote may've been just his opinion. It
doesn't prove the whole panel thinks like that about
team one and two.'

'That's true,' Zena agreed. 'I didn't think of it like
that.'

No, please, please. Make what Laura says true and
what Georgie says not. Please, please. Let us Starfish
Sisters stay together.

My doctor would probably tell me they weren't
healthy thoughts because healthy thoughts were
meant to make me feel good, not choked up with hope
and nerves that made me want to do horrible things to
myself – like I had wanted to the other day.

I couldn't take on the stress for the Starfish Sisters,
not if it turned me back into being that girl again. But
my therapist and doctor probably never had friends
like the Starfish Sisters. They didn't know what it was
like to hope for something so badly.

'Your info now,' Laura reminded us. 'What was that
spat about? Did Ace punch you?'

'Nooo!' Georgie replied. She pulled the hood of her
coat over her head and hid there for a while. Maybe she
hoped Micki or I would do the talking. But I wasn't
going to make it that easy for her.

There were still moments, maybe in the surf or
having a meal in the dining room, when I'd suddenly
feel so angry that Georgie had done this to us. I
couldn't bring myself to say to her, 'Hey, Georgie, isn't
it funny the way you hooked up and I got my periods,
all at the same time?' That was a joke I'd had with the
old Georgie and it didn't feel so funny anymore.

'Well, cough up,' Laura pressed us. 'Come on,
Georgie. Nothing for nothing. The deal was you'd tell
us what the catfight was about. Let's play fair. No
Megans here.'

Georgie's expression caved into her forehead at
Laura's comment. But in true Georgie style she
managed to recover. 'Ace, um, found out that, um, Jules
and I are . . . together.'

'What? Like boyfriend and girlfriend?' Laura burst
out laughing. I bet Georgie wished she could hide
under the bed now. 'What are you talking about?'

'Jules and I are – together.'

'Huh?'

'Look, I know what you're thinking, I must be the
biggest two-faced bitch ever.'

Somehow I didn't think that was the only thing Laura
was thinking. Laura's face was creasing in every corner.
I'd bet she was trying to work out the formula that defied
all logic and reason. Jules, super-hot gorgeous guy,
dumps Ace, stunning model with the most unbelievable
body, and replaces her with Georgie, cute looking, good
value but in her words 'with legs like tree trunks' or even
sometimes 'a pasty blob on two fat legs'.

'I'm not trying to make excuses,' Georgie said,
pulling the hood further over her forehead. 'But they
were over. Jules was about to dump Ace anyway.'

'So you went in for the kill?'

'No, Laura,' Georgie answered. 'Girls like me don't
go in for the kill. The rejection hurts too much.'

That line wiped the conversation off the face of the
earth. At least I'd thought so in the seconds of silence
that followed. But then Zena said, 'Serves Ace right. It's
about time something like that happened to her. She
left a killing field behind at my school – my brother
being just one of her many victims.'

'But I do feel bad, 'Georgie murmured, ''cause Ace
and I were really close.'

I took a deep breath and suggested something that
could solve all our problems: 'So don't go out with Jules
then.'

Georgie shrugged. 'That's easier said than done.'

'No it's not,' I wanted to say back. 'All you have to do
is say, "Jules, I don't want to be with you", and then we
can go back to being the good old Starfish Sisters.
Simple.' But I didn't say it.

'Hey, now I get it,' Laura told us. 'That's why Ace
was so cool about trading her Kelly Slater hat in return
for me doing her breakfast duty tomorrow.'

'She traded her Kelly Slater hat?' Micki gasped.

'Yeah.'

I asked it. But as I did I knew I didn't want the
answer. 'Was – was it because Ace and Georgie
were . . . on breakfast duty together?'

'Obviously,' muttered Georgie.

I thought back to another thing my doctor had told
me – to identify the triggers.

'What are the triggers?' I'd said to her, trying to
work out what a gun had to do with my problem.

The triggers, she'd explained, were the things that
set me off. The situations that made me feel like my life
was spiralling out of control. If I could learn to recognise
the triggers that made me feel bad and panicky
and angry and hate myself, then I could have some
control over these things and my life. I could either try
and work with the triggers or avoid them, depending
on what they were.

I knew what was making me feel bad and panicky
and angry right now. It was the same as the other day
when I'd run to the bungalow to cut myself and make
the pain go away. It was us. We were the triggers – the
failing, fighting, lying, two-faced Starfish Sisters. I'd
tried action. I'd done my best to get us talking, get us
back together, get us to the way we used to be, when
nothing else mattered but us. Yet I had failed, badly. So
did that mean my only option left was to avoid them,
my Starfish Sisters?

It was crazy. All my bad feelings were triggered
by not being able to make it work with my triggers.
How could avoiding the triggers work when they
were the three things I needed in my life? Georgie,
Micki and Ace.

The full-time job of being 'normal' wasn't just to
please Dad and show him that I could be like that. It
was also for my Starfish Sisters.

Breathe. There's nothing you can do about it. Breathe. You
tried to keep us together. Breathe. Let it go. You did your best.
Breathe.

Laura scored. She got to keep Ace's Kelly Slater cap and
scammed out of breakfast duty.

We were in a Pilates session, the sleep still crusty in
our eyes and stale morning breath floating through the
air, and already it had started.

Laura walked into the class and said, 'Ace, you've got
to go and do your breakfast duty.'

Ace was straddled over a Swiss ball. 'But we swapped.'

'Carla told me to come and get you.'

'Carla?'

'Sorry.'

Ace just about kicked the Swiss ball out the window.
'Pathetic,' she said, storming out of the room, slamming
the door and leaving the windows rattling behind her.

That's the sort of thing I used to do.

Breathe,
I reminded myself.
There's nothing you can do
now. Breathe.

Last night, Micki and I had carefully sat Ace down
and told her exactly Laura's story, word for word.

But it had required preparation. So I made the
plans.

Georgie'd agreed to go for a walk as it was better if
just Micki and I told her. Since our little talking to from
Carla and Jake, it seemed that Ace could only behave
rationally when Georgie was out of sight. The rest of
the time I couldn't decide if Ace was like a green-eyed
monster or a straight-out spoilt brat.

Her time here at camp with Georgie was almost
over. Ace just had to play the game until announcement
time on Friday. But her resentment of Georgie
seemed to be growing by the second and the hard bit
was that you couldn't really blame her for it.

Micki did the talking as I wasn't sure I could keep
my voice calm. The idea that Ace might say 'If being
selected means being with Georgie then forget it!' had
me feeling like I was about to pass out.

It was them or us. That's pretty much how Micki
explained it. Ace got it too. She nodded the whole way
through the story and even used the same logic, that it
made sense to have big- and small-wave surfers in a
team. She'd agreed that it sounded right and not some
invention of Laura's. Plus Ace could even confirm the
bee allergy, as her interview had been straight after
Laura's and she remembered Laura making a comment
like, 'The dude with the beard left the interview 'cause
he's allergic to bees.'

So if Ace understood all that, then why – why – had
she just made a scene over something as pathetic as
doing breakfast duty with Georgie?

I was finding it a challenge to stay straddled on my
Swiss ball too. I wanted to jump off and kick it across
the room, then storm out so I could catch Ace before
she got down to the kitchen. I'd point my finger in her
face and tell her, 'Ace, this is not just about you.
Remember, there's no I in team. There's an M and a G
and a K too!'

But that wouldn't make me look very normal. So
I didn't.

The waves were like raging three-headed monsters
that charged with open mouths before smashing their
teeth together and dumping their victim. But every
now and then a mammoth set would come through
that didn't just close out. That's why Ace and Georgie
were out there.

Micki and I watched them. They weren't talking.
They were just surfing.

The second those two started paddling it was like a
bolt of electricity hit the water. They charged from the
take-off, flying like maniacs down the line, using the
speed to slash the wave to pieces.

'Do you think this is their way of making up?' I
asked Micki while I squeezed the rope that sectioned
off this part of the beach. 'Do you?'

'Could be,' she answered. 'But I reckon they're
doing it for us too.'

Since I was about eight years old, I'd stood here at
the roped-off part of Coolina beach watching the elite
camp surfers and hoping so hard that I'd get to stand
on the other side of the rope some day.

Now, stepping back from it felt like one foot to
freedom. It was like leaving a war zone.

The crisp afternoon air filled my lungs and suddenly
I felt like I could breathe without telling myself to.

'You ready?' Micki asked me. 'Or do you want to
walk first and warm up?'

'Nah,' I answered, stretching my arms out in front of
me. 'It's getting cold. We might as well start running.'

The wind whipped the sand across our ankles.

Micki was hopping from foot to foot. 'Shall we do
the soft sand?'

'It'll be more sheltered.'

'I was thinking, Kia, maybe I could ask someone at
Ocean Pearl about you doing work experience there.
I mean, when I get to know them and stuff.'

'Really?'

'Yeah.'

'Cool.'

Micki and I reached the top of the beach, where the
sand was soft, meaning double the workout, but at
least it was less blowy and the path was level. With
every challenge comes a reward – except at surf camp I
wasn't so sure that theory applied anymore. But I
hoped it did.