Ocean of Fire (13 page)

She felt him tug at her briefs as his head moved lower. He started nipping and licking her abdomen, sliding her briefs from her.

When she was completely naked he stopped to stare down at her again. This time she didn’t avert her gaze. The desire gleaming in his eyes only seemed to intensify her own.

“You’re not afraid any more, are you, darling Nicole?”

“No - Oh no.”

“Good because this is only the beginning.” He was true to his promise. Tenderly he caressed her already aroused body. Then his mouth followed the course his expert hands had taken, as he kissed her shoulders, her breasts, the curve of her stomach, and finally that special moist core of her that was already aching for him. Nicole had never experienced anything so incredibly physical before. All her senses seemed to have converged to that one spot. They intensified, until she thought she would die from the explosions of ecstasy thrilling through her.

“Ohh - Philip... Phil...” she cried as her body shuddered with inflamed sensation. The waves of blissful pleasure finally receded leaving her weak and sated.

“Felt good, didn’t it?” he murmured, trailing a finger up the inside of her thigh.

“Yes - Oh yes.”

“But there’s more.” His lips traveled back up her body. This time she managed to shirk her inhibition. He had already done more than she imagined any man would to make her first time perfect. He must really be holding himself back for her sake, she thought, and brought both her hands to stroke his shaft of aroused desire.

“God Nicole!” he cried, his breathing ragged. “Why did you go and do that?” He roughly pushed her hands away. “It’s going to be too quick now,” and she felt him between her thighs.

Then he slid into her. The pain she had been told to expect with the first time never came, only a feeling of tightness. No pain - only pleasure - but then she was making love to the man she truly wanted. She should have known not to be afraid.

Nicole rose to meet every passion driven thrust, reveling in the feel of him inside her. How could she have denied herself such exquisite togetherness? She had never felt so close to anyone as she did to Philip right now.

Nicole was fast on her way into a journey of rapturous release so intense it felt as though she was flying right into a spectacular sunset that sparkled against a deep aquamarine sea. She almost reached it - but then he groaned out loud.

He’d been right. It was too quick.

Before she knew it his body convulsed and shuddered. She stared at the tense corded muscles in his neck as he strained to hold back.

“I can’t... Damn... I’ve lost it,” he panted. She felt him pulsing into her, as he shook with orgasmic release. For a moment he leant against her, burying his face in her hair, the perspiration from his body dripping against her own.

“I’m sorry, Nicole. I know I didn’t satisfy you and I really wanted to - so very much,” he mumbled against her ear.

She realized then how much he cared about her. He had wanted it to be perfect, and in his eyes it hadn’t been. Sure she was disappointed that it had ended so quickly, but he’d still brought her more pleasure than she ever thought herself capable of experiencing. He had given her more than enough.

“It’s all right, Philip. I didn’t really mind,” she said, sliding a gentle hand across his broad shoulder.

“But I do. I’ve never lost it like that before. Never! This was your first time. It was meant to be special, perfect,” he muttered, still not daring to look at her.

“But it was,” she insisted, touching his cheek. Her action compelled him to turn his head to look at her. Nicole gasped when she saw the pained expression on his face. He was upset - but she couldn’t understand why. Surely he must know not every time could be perfect. Why did he have such high expectations?

“It was selfish of me. How can you ever forgive me?”

“What’s there to forgive? I don’t understand.” She shook her head in confusion.

“Of course you don’t. You have nothing to compare it to. I have never not satisfied a woman, but I never wanted to please one as much I wanted to please you. Can you understand that?”

“And I’m saying you did.” She knew it was daring to say it, but she did anyway. “There’s always next time.”

He stared at her for what seemed like a long time, his expression still strained. “You’ll let there be a next time after that botch up?”

“Why not? We’re going to spend a whole week together, aren’t we?”

“You’re wonderful, you know.” He rolled onto his side and hugged her to him, the course damp hair on his chest tickling her breasts.

“So are you.”

“Go to sleep now, my love,” he whispered, kissing her cheek.

For a while Nicole lay with her head tucked into the crock of his arm, listening to the noises of the city through the open window. Far away a car horn sounded. A cricket started chirping in a nearby garden. A door clicked shut down the hall.

“Philip? Are you still awake?”

“Mmmm.”

“Remember how I said you were the last person I’d want in my bed.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re the only person I want in my bed.”

He chuckled. “Thought I might get you to change your mind.”

“Are you ever wrong about anything?”

“Occasionally.”

“But you’d never admit it, would you?”

“Depends. It’s too late to get into philosophical discussions now. Good night, my darling.”

“Good night Philip.”

A beam of sunlight slanting across the bed woke Nicole the next morning. She blinked, wishing she had drawn the curtains more fully. Rolling away from it, she prepared to try and get some more sleep, but when she collided with the man beside her, her eyes shot open again.

Philip was lying on his back, breathing deeply. Sleep softened the angular lines of his handsome face. He looked younger somehow, with his thick dark lashes resting against the high planes of his cheekbones.

The bedclothes were twisted around his hips. Nicole leant on her elbow to study him more closely. There were things about him she hadn’t noticed the night before; such as a small mole on his upper arm. Sliding her eyes down his torso she spotted the bruise she had given him and a scar which she assumed had been from the ruptured appendix he’d told her brother and father about. Another ran up under his ribcage. Because it was partially obscured by the hair growing across his chest she could understand why she hadn’t noticed it before. She reached out and traced her index finger along it, wondering how it got there.

She felt him flinch under her touch. Her gaze shot to his face, to see his eyes open and staring back at her.

“I was just admiring the scenery,” she admitted.

“So was I. The sun shining in your hair makes it more gold than red.” He brought his hand to the tangle of curls spilling across her naked shoulder. His action made her aware that she was exposing most of her body to him. She reached for the sheet, attempting to pull it up.

“It’s too late for modesty, my dear. I’ve seen every beautiful centimetre of you already,” he said, drawing her to him. She shivered with pleasure when she felt his warm skin against hers.

“How about a good morning kiss,” he urged.

Nicole brought her lips to his, kissing him the way he had kissed her the night before.

“You’re learning fast, my sexy little redhead.”

Encouraged, Nicole moved to kiss his neck, then his chest. She traced her tongue over his small male nipples the way he’d teased hers. She felt his fingers in her hair, as she kissed the jagged scar she’d noticed earlier.

“How did you get that?” she murmured against his skin.

“Get what?”

“This scar.”

She felt him tense, and brought her head up to look into his face. His eyes narrowed, and his mouth compressed into a thin taunt line. Then he turned his head away from her, but she didn’t miss the depth of pain in his eyes.

“Philip?”

“Car accident,” he admitted finally.

She moved to touch his cheek, but he refused to look at her. “Was it really bad?”

“Yes... Other people were killed,” he said tightly.

“Your parents?”

Forcing her away from him, he sat up abruptly. Then he swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Nicole watched him disappear into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. She collapsed back onto the bed, feeling his pain as though it was her own. He’d been in the car crash which killed his parents. She was certain he’d seen them die. The accident had scarred him, both physically and mentally. Oh Philip, my love. Don’t shut me out, not now that we’ve come this far.

The horror and agony tore through him as thought it was happening all over again.

Philip gripped the wash basin and doubled over with bile in his throat. He thought he was going to be sick, but instead he recalled the vivid clarity of the car rolling over and over as it left the road, its occupants flung against metal and each another, before the vehicle came to rest almost level again at the bottom of an embankment.

Dazed and aching, Philip had lain there with his face pressed to the glass, wondering what that shrill noise behind him was.

It took him a few moments to realize what had happened, and that noise was his little brother screaming in agony.

With his head still spinning, Philip had turned to the horrific sight he’d managed to block from his mind all these years.

Michael’s four year old face was awash with agony, and the rest of him was covered in blood. It made Philip want to scream himself. He cast his gaze to his sister, twelve year old Elaina. She sat in her seat staring back at him in stunned horror.

“A – are you all right?” Philip asked her.

“I – I don’t know. I – I can’t feel my legs. You – you’re covered in blood, Phil.”

But it was Michael that worried him more. The little boy’s shrieks were easing, and Philip could see why. His breathing was becoming ragged, and he started gasping for air, but the agony never left his little face. Philip wanted to comfort him but wasn’t sure if he should move him. He was afraid to even touch him. There was so much blood everywhere. He could see it still seeping from a terrible wound on the child’s side.

A movement in the front seat made him turn his head. This was followed by a jab of pain and more nausea. His step-father, Mario was getting out of his seat. He was trying to climb out of the car window.

“Mum!” Philip called, because he couldn’t see her in the passenger seat from the angle he was at. There was no response. She can’t be dead, he thought for a terrifying moment. “ Eliana! Can you see Mum?”

“She’s not moving. Why can’t I feel my legs?” she pleaded again.

“They’re stuck I guess.” Phil couldn’t really see them either. Twilight was fast approaching and little Michael’s ragged gasps for air really worried him. “Where are the God-dammed cops when you need them?” They had been coming round asking questions for weeks now, questions about Mario none of them could answer.

Mario managed to get out of the car and Philip saw him stagger away from them. “Get help will you,” Philip yelled after him. “Don’t you
dare
leave us here!”

No answer came from the evening gloom outside the car.

Suddenly Philip could no longer hear Michael breathing. He looked down to see the little boy give one more shuddering breath before he closed his eyes.

“Mikey. Mikey. Wake up!” Philip said, touching the boy’s face, but he knew Michael wasn’t really asleep.

He was dead.

He’d died right there in front of him.

“Mikey,” Philip sobbed. Tears poured down his cheeks as he gathered the small boy up into his arms, his own pain forgotten as he cried out his grief and agony and loss.

Philip’s revelation changed everything. There was an underlying tension in him that hadn’t been there before. A heavy silence settled between them, and Nicole was wary of saying anything which might antagonize him further, so when he insisted on driving she didn’t object.

They headed along the north coast, taking the sea road. Nicole tried to enjoy the scenery, which had changed from undulating hills, scattered with farms, to rugged cliff tops and treacherous inlets. Philip’s driving didn’t help matters either. No doubt he still thought he was behind the wheel of his sports car, but she didn’t say anything about it.

She hoped he would open up of his own accord. It wasn’t only from her studies that she’d learnt the best way to overcome grief was to talk about it, and she suspected Philip had never had anyone to share it with. Why else would the mere mention of it still elicit such a strong reaction from him?

The austere expression on his face reminded her of the first time they had met. Now she knew it was because he was nursing a silent anguish he didn’t want anyone to know about. It made her wonder whether something that night at the yacht club had brought back some of those painful memories, for he’d looked at her with such grimness it had been almost frightening. The only difference was that now she cared, and wanted to help him, but for once her social work skills seemed to have deserted her. There was no way Philip would talk to her if he suspected she was using her training on him.