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I always worried about what to talk about with Justin.

With Tyler I’m not afraid about that at all.

I’ve been home for half an hour, but my parents aren’t here yet.

I’ll call Dad at work. I can’t go out without telling at least one of my parents.

6:30 P.M.

Dad was in his office. I told him that Tyler asked me to have dinner with him. I explained that it isn’t like a date-date, and that I think Tyler misses being around regular kids.

Dad said that was probably true. “But Tyler’s in a strange world right now, Maggie,” he said.

“All this attention at such a young age. Going out with him isn’t like going out with a boy from Vista.”

I told Dad I knew that, but that Tyler wants to be treated like he’s just another guy.

“Well, he seems to have his head on his shoulders,” ad conceded. “I’ll say that for him.”

I told Dad that I have my head on my shoulders too.

“I hope you do, Maggie. Because even going to dinner with someone as famous as Tyler can be a little bizarre. But go ahead. Have a good time.”

It’s a school night so I have to be home by ten.

I’m going very causal, in jeans. I don’t want Tyler to think that I think our sort-of date is a big deal.

Now all I have to do is wait.

Just heard Mom coming up the stairs. Have to tell her what I’m doing.

7:00 P.M.

Mom’s been drinking. Surprise. When I said I wanted to talk to her, she led me back downstairs to the bar. As she poured herself a drink, I told her that I was having dinner with Tyler and that Dad said it was okay.

She took a big sip of her drink and stared at me. “Are you crazy?” she exclaimed.

I told her it was just dinner and not a big deal.

“Avoid. Him. Like. The. Plague!” she said. She pounded the bar with her hand to

deemphasize every word. “Hollywood. Destroys. People.” She took another gulp of her drink before continuing. “It destroys relationships. Show-biz people make lousy boyfriends,

husbands, wives …”

She went on and on like that. Blah. Blah. Blah.

I couldn’t stand listening to her. Finally, I just left the room.

I hate my mother.

There. I said it.

Well, maybe I don’t hate her, but I hate the way she acts when she’s drunk.

I hate that she gets drunk.

I hate …

I hate the word
hate
. And I don’t want to have all these negative thoughts before I see Tyler.

I’m going to go outside to wait for him. I don’t want him to see my mom drunk.

10:15 P.M.

I don’t know how Tyler puts up with it. It must be so awful to be in the public eye. I only had a little taste of what he goes through all the time.

Okay, Maggie, calm down and start at the beginning.

When the studio limo pulled up to the house, Tyler jumped out and held the door open for me.

He was so sweet. I was glad I dressed casually, because he was in jeans too.

He said he was sorry he was late.

I told him he wasn’t late and that I just felt like waiting outside.

Then he told me he thought we could go to this place he’d heard about, Fish ‘N’ Stuff.

On the way, he asked me questions about school and my friends. I knew he was asking because he wanted to know more about me. He wasn’t doing research like Felicia.

When we were a couple of blocks from the restaurant, he told the driver to pull over.

“Do you mind if we walk from here?” he asked me.

I said it was fine with me. I do it all the time myself.

As we stepped out of the car, Tyler put on sunglasses and turned his baseball cap around so the visor shadowed his face. It was his disguise. We sat in a booth in the back of the restaurant.

No one but the waiter knew that Tyler Kendall was eating there. I like how waiters around here are very cool about that sort of thing.

We both ordered sodas and the fish of the day. I was so relaxed with Tyler that I had no trouble eating. We ate and talked and laughed. An hour and a half went by like ten minutes. I felt as thought we could have sat there together for hours. But Tyler had to be on the set at six-thirty the next morning and I had my curfew.

Tyler put his cap and glasses back on. No one in the restaurant even looked up as we walked past the other tables to the door.

We didn’t see the crowd of reporters waiting for us until we were outside. Flashbulbs went off in our faces. Reporters pushed one another to get close to us.

“What’s it like to go out with the cutest guy in America?” a woman yelled as she snapped my photo.

“Hey, girl, what’s your name?” someone else shouted.

Another reporter stepped on my foot.

I was scared, but Tyler acted very calm. He said things like, “The shoot’s going great.” Then he put an arm around my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “Let’s go.” We moved quickly past the reporters. They followed us down the street, snapping pictures and shouting questions.

When we reached the corner, Tyler signaled to the limo driver. He zoomed over to us. We jumped in and slammed the door shut.

“Who is she?” I heard someone yell as the limo took off.

I was out of breath and felt like crying. Tyler was breathless too. “I don’t know how they knew where I was,” he said.

I told him it was okay. But I didn’t feel okay. Then I remembered this happens to Tyler all the time.

“I hate it when they trail me like that,” he said as if he’d read my mind. “It’s like I don’t have my own life.”

“So why do you do it?” I blurted out. “You can go back to Santa Claus.”

“Because I love acting,” he said quietly.

I felt sorry that I’d been so rude to him and said so.

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” he replied. “I asked you out for a quiet dinner and look what happened. It isn’t fair to you.”

“It’s okay,” I said softly. “It’s over.”

We were safe from the reporters. We were alone. There was no Felicia. No Uncle Fred. No makeup artists. No directors.

Tyler opened the roof and we leaned back and looked at the star-studded sky. We were sitting so close that we touched when the limo turned corners.

We didn’t talk much. We just watched the stars. I took a deep breath. I’ve never felt so happy.

When we pulled up in front of my house, Tyler asked me if I’d come by the shoot after school on Friday.

I said yes.

I can’t wait to see him again.

Wednesday 5/5

12:30 P.M.

I’ve found a private spot in the library, behind the stacks, where no one will see me. If I’d known what was going to happen in school today I would have cut.

Jill was waiting for me at my locker. When she saw me, she started jumping up and down and squealing, like she was going to have a fit or something.

She held up a newspaper and shrieked, “How come you didn’t tell me? I can’t believe it.”

Just then, Sunny and Dawn appeared. Sunny took the paper from Jill and looked at it.

“Maggie, you had a date with Tyler!” she exclaimed. “How come you didn’t tell us?”

I remembered the reporters outside the restaurant.

“It just sort of happened,” I said. “And it wasn’t a — ”

“Wow, Maggie,” Dawn interrupted, “this picture. You look so — so surprised.”

A small crowd was gathering around us. I felt as trapped and embarrassed as I had the night before with the reporters.

Amalia showed up and asked what was going on.

“I — uh — have to go,” I mumbled.

Sunny thrust the newspaper in front of Amalia. “Didn’t you see it?” she asked.

I looked down at the paper. There I was in living newspaper color, leaving the restaurant. I have a startled look on my face. Tyler, on the other hand, is smiling for the cameras.

“And look at this, Maggie,” said Jill, pointing to the article. “Lana Brett wrote about you in her column.”

Sunny read the part about Tyler and me out loud. By now a whole bunch of girls had gathered around us. Here’s what Lana Brett wrote:

So where was America’s number one teenage heartthrob last night? Not with
Felicia Hope
. And
not in his swanky L.A. apartment rehearsing for tomorrow’s big shoot of LOVE CONQUERS

ALL.
Tyler Kendall
was on a date with
Maggie Blume
, the pretty daughter of the film’s
producer,
Hayden Blume
. They were seen leaving FISH ‘N’ STUFF at 9:30 last night. Tyler
looked thrilled with his newest catch. But where does that leave his fabulous costar, Felicia?

Out to sea? We’ll keep an eye out for the next chapter in Tyler’s adventures in the sea of luv.

I was so humiliated that tears sprang to my eyes.

The girls around me oohed and ahhed.

And then Justin showed up and asked what was going on.

Everyone suddenly became silent and Sunny put the paper behind her back.

“Nothing,” Jill said between giggles.

Justin shook his head as if to say,
Girls can be so silly
. Then he walked away.

I grabbed my books, slammed my locker shut, and headed down the hall. Amalia, Dawn, and

Sunny caught up with me and we walked to homeroom together. They tried to calm me down.

But I was in shock and didn’t even hear what anyone was saying anymore.

Why was Tyler so friendly to the reporters?

Maybe he likes the publicity.

I hate being the subject of a gossip column.

I’m skipping the cafeteria. I can’t deal with people right now.

Amalia just came into the library. She’s looking all around. I suppose she’s checking up on me.

1:15 P.M.

Amalia found me. I blew off some steam by telling her everything I was feeling.

“What am I doing with him?” I asked Amalia. “I hate movie stars!”

“You can’t hate all of them,” Amalia replied. “That’s prejudiced.”

“He seemed so real, Amalia,” I confessed. “I mean, like a real person.”

“Which he is,” she reminded me.

Anyway, she said — and I know she’s right — that Tyler didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not his fault he’s so cute and popular.

I was going to cut the rest of my classes, but Amalia convinced me not to. If anybody mentions Tyler to me, I’m going to brush them off. I’ll say, “He’s just a friend. I don’t want to talk about it.”

That’s the truth.

Amalia is a terrific friend. She invited me to dinner at her house. I
love
being at the Vargases’.

More than being at home. I’m not nervous around Amalia’s parents the way I am around my

own. Is that awful to say?

3:30 P.M.

In the car, on the way to therapy.

Checked my answering machine at home from car phone. Message from Tyler. He says he’s

sorry about the reporters and everything, that he had a good time with me, and would I still come to the set Friday. Wants to talk to me. Also said I might be right and that he should go back to his old life.

I’m upset about the stupid stuff in the paper. But I wouldn’t want Tyler to give up his career because of something I said.

Time for Dr. Fuentes. More later.

4:30 P.M.

Key points from my session with Dr. Fuentes:

1) It’s not fair to blame Tyler for what happened.

2) My father’s right that being famous ca mess people up. But other things complicate

people’s lives too. Everyone has something. Sunny’s mother died. Dawn’s parents are

divorced. Amalia had that awful experience with James. Ducky’s parents are hardly ever

home and his best friend tried to kill himself.

3) My mother is a bigger problem for me than I like to admit. I hate that she’s so out of control with her drinking. Sometimes I feel like
I’m
the mother. (This is when I cried. I seem to cry about something in almost every session.)

4) Don’t worry about Justin, since we both seem to be moving on to other people.

5) Relax. Take care of myself.

6) If I want to go to the set on Friday to see Tyler, I should go ahead and do it.

Friday 5/7

5:00 P.M.

Sound Studio 4. On
Love Conquers All
set.

When I arrived at the set about an hour ago, I walked around for a few minutes looking for Tyler.

It seemed like EVERYONE was staring at me. I overheard a woman at the catering table tell the woman next to her, “That’s her. The one in the newspaper.”

Since I didn’t see Tyler on the set, I headed for his trailer. He opened the door right away when I knocked.

I was glad he was alone, which meant we were alone.

“You okay?” he asked me.

I told him how people stared at me when I walked through the set. “I don’t know how you stand it,” I said.

“Sorry. I still feel terrible about the other night.”

I was just about to say that it wasn’t his fault when the door to the trailer was flung open and Felicia walked in.

“Ah, the lovebirds,” she teased.

“Cut it out, Felicia,” Tyler said. “I told you we were just — ” He stopped himself in

midsentence, then asked, “Wait — did you tip off the press?”

She grinned.

“
Not
cool,” Tyler said. I could tell he was really angry. “I’d never do that to you.”

“Publicity is good, Ty,” she said as she flung an arm around his shoulder. “Don’t be mad.”

Tyler’s uncle arrived then. A young woman wearing a headset and walkie-talkie was right

behind him.

“We need Tyler and Felicia on the set,” the woman announced.

“How are you today, Ms. Blume?” Uncle Fred asked.

I mumbled, “Fine,” and left the trailer with everyone else.

They’re filming on a new set now — a café/surfer shop called Catch the Wave. In the new

scene, Vivian enters the café, nervously looks around for J.B., sees him, and shyly says hello.

Then she has a line about surfing. He says something about school. They’re each trying to make the other more relaxed. But they don’t seem to be relaxed. Probably because neither of the actors are [sic]. They’ve filmed this scene six times so far.