Not the Marrying Kind (24 page)

“Hey, Miss Kat! Where have you been?” He
rushed toward her. “I was just fixing to come looking for you. Your
folks were worried when we got back and nobody was here.”

“I was visiting Lucille McIntyre,” she said,
not wanting to go into any lengthy explanations. She pointed to the
boxes stacked beside her. “I’ve got dinner here for Joshua and
Cody. I need you to deliver everything to them.” Although Benjamin
had never been around horses or buggies until he’d come to the
Rocking P, he’d quickly learned to handle both. “It’s getting late,
and this food should have been there an hour ago, so please
hurry.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“But be careful. Mind that you don’t spill a
drop of that gravy.” She nodded toward one of the string-tied
boxes.

Benjamin climbed up onto the bench and
inhaled deeply. “Smells mighty good, Miss Kat. I’m sure Joshua and
Cody will be real pleased that you and Miss McIntyre—” Kat’s look
must have been fierce. He shut his mouth at once. A look akin to
fear flickered in his amber eyes. “Did I say something wrong?”

“Ben, please,” she began, hating to what she
was about to do. Although she was prepared to take full
responsibility for her fibs, asking this boy to do her dirty work
and lie for her made her cringe. “Don’t mention Miss McIntyre, all
right?”

Benjamin grinned. “Don’t worry, I get
it.”

It was Kat’s turn to feel confused. “You do?
Just what is it you’re getting?”

“She’s wanting to impress Joshua.” His grin
broadened, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “It’s all right, her little
secret is safe with me.”

“You think Lucille is interested in Joshua?”
Kat went rigid. Every muscle and limb of her body stiffened. “Where
would you get an idea like that?”

“I saw the way she was looking at him in
church.”

“And was he looking back at her?”

Benjamin shrugged. “Can’t say for certain,
Miss Kat.”

She wanted to press for more information, to
get every detail possible. Exactly
how
had Lucille been
looking at the man? Smiling? Batting those long, lovely lashes? Had
she spoken to him afterward? At once she thought back to her
friend’s remarks about Joshua. She remembered, too, Lucille’s
disparaging comments about Kat’s chances with the handsome
fellow.

But she could not allow Benjamin to see her
doubts and disappointments. Somehow, she managed to put a bright
smile on her face.

“Well, now, you see that Joshua and Cody get
this dinner right away, and please, don’t say a word about Miss
McIntyre.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Benjamin tipped his cap and
offered a conspiratorial smile, then climbed into the buggy and
drove off toward the hills, the last rays of the late spring
sunlight glinting off the traces.

Kat had never liked chairs, especially not
when she was with children. Spreading her skirts out, she took her
place on the floor, smiling as the little ones in her Sunday class
gathered around her. She giggled when four-year-old Lydia Chiles
climbed up on her lap, nearly knocking her backward.

“I love you, Miss Kat.” Lydia threw her
pudgy arms around Kat’s neck.

“I love you, too.”

Truly, she did. She adored each of the
children, and cherished every moment she spent with them.

Benjamin had come to church with her. Rather
than joining a class with others his own age, he chose instead to
remain with Kat. He stood slightly apart from the circle of
children, a cautious, guarded expression upon his face. Kat yearned
to draw him in but knew he didn’t feel comfortable. At the Rocking
P, Benjamin seemed relaxed and at ease, but once they’d reached
town, his wariness returned. He kept his gaze averted, only now and
then looking up and glancing toward the door.

“You’re welcome to join us, Benjamin,” she
said, hoping the gentle invitation might be enough, but she was not
surprised when he shook his head and stared down at his shoes
again.

“Thanks, maybe another time.”

Kat nodded. The boy reminded her of a
skittish colt, and she must handle him with care. No pushing, no
prodding. Just soothing words and a quiet voice. Eventually, he’d
come around on his own.

She wondered what secrets Benjamin was
hiding.

Whatever those secrets were, it made no
difference to her. He was a child longing to be loved, a child who
needed to be accepted for who he was.

We’re all children. We all need love.

Kat gave Benjamin an encouraging nod.

Most of all, we want to be accepted.

A sudden sadness swept over her heart. Why
couldn’t her father accept her as she was? Why was he so determined
to change her and make her into something she was never meant to
be?

She brushed the troubling thoughts away and
turned her attention to the precious little ones entrusted to her
care.

Yet her sadness lingered. Kat taught her
lesson on God’s redeeming love, but each time she looked at
Benjamin sitting at the edge of the circle, she wondered again how
she could reach him. She understood his loneliness, and she saw the
uncertainty in his eyes. Even their color seemed uncertain, not
quite brown, not quite gold.

A short time later, the door opened and
Maddie Marlowe stepped into the room. At once, Kat clambered to her
feet, knowing the rigid, strait-laced woman would not approve of
her sitting on the floor, or any other such unladylike behaviors.
Miss Marlowe was a stickler for rules. She brushed at her skirts,
puzzled over the woman’s unexpected arrival. Class had only begun.
Ordinarily Maddie came by only after the hour was over to assist in
getting the children gathered up and reunited with their mothers
and fathers.

“Is something wrong?” Kat asked.

“Reverend Kendrick would like to see you,
Miss Phillips. I’ll take over your class now.” She turned and
offered a smile to the children. “Good morning. I’m so happy to be
here with you.” No one rushed to greet her, and Kat felt bad for
the lonely woman. Somehow Miss Marlowe managed to retain her
crooked smile when she glanced up at Kat. “Well, dear, run along.
You don’t want to keep him waiting.”

Actually, as far as Kat was concerned, the
man could wait until hell froze over.

“Benjamin, I need you to come with me,” she
called. He’d probably not be too comfortable around the somber,
gray-clad spinster, plus, Kat wanted the boy at her side when she
met with Kendrick. She feared the reverend wanted to catch her
alone so that he might propose. If Benjamin were with her, he might
reconsider. The longer she could put off the inevitable, the
better.

As they walked toward the parsonage,
Benjamin nudged her. “Bet he’s going to ask you.”

“Shame on you,” Kat scolded, although her
voice, like his, held a playful note. “It’s a sin to gamble, young
man, and he can ask all he wants. I’m not marrying him.”

“You’re not?” Benjamin had been walking
slightly in front of Kat. He stopped so abruptly, she nearly
collided with him. “How come you don’t want to marry him?”

“I don’t want to marry any man, that’s
why.”

“But, why? I mean, why not?” Benjamin’s
freckles seemed about to jump off his face. Those strange, almost
amber-colored eyes flickered with confusion. “I thought that’s what
all girls wanted. You know, to fall in love, get married, and,
well, have babies.” The last thought must have embarrassed him. His
gaze shifted to his freshly-polished shoes.

Kat had to give the matter a moment’s
thought before she answered. “I guess that is what
most
girls want, but some girls just aren’t suited for marriage.”

“But if you don’t get married, who’s going
to take care of you?”

“I can take care of myself. I don’t need a
husband to do that.”

Benjamin nodded, but he didn’t seem
convinced.

They walked on together for a few steps,
then he stopped again.

“What about the future, Miss Kat? When you
get old, I mean. Do you really want to be all alone? Don’t you want
somebody with you when you die?”

His words did cause her to feel a trifle
uneasy. “To tell the truth, I’ve never given it much thought. And
once I’m gone,” she added, “I don’t see that it will make much
difference whether I was a married woman or not.”

“But old women are crabby. Like Miss
Marlowe.”

“She’s had a hard life,” Kat explained. Of
course, she knew nothing about Maddie Marlowe’s life, but judging
from the woman’s scarred face, her experiences hadn’t been pleasant
ones. Some things were better off left alone.

“I sure hope you don’t end up like her.”

Kat wondered if she should reprimand him for
speaking so unkindly of the unfortunate Miss Marlowe but decided it
would be better to let the subject drop. The boy was being honest,
that’s all, and how could she fault him for that?

Benjamin, however, refused to let it go.

“What about a family, Miss Kat? I know you
like kids. I mean, well, you took me in when I had no place else to
go. And you go to church every Sunday just so you can be with your
class.”

“That’s not the only reason I go,” she
countered. “But, you’re right, I do like children. Very much.” And
someday, she’d like to have children of her own. Of course, that
wouldn’t happen unless she found a mate. Producing children
required that one procreate, and procreation required the sacred
union of man and wife. She knew some people did that sort of thing
outside the bonds of holy matrimony, but that’s not how God
intended it to be.

Kat walked on, but Benjamin suddenly
stopped. She turned to find him smiling at her.

“Are you all right?” she asked, puzzled by
his abrupt change of mood.

“Yeah, I was just thinking, that’s all.”

“Thinking?” she prompted.

“Yeah. I thought you were supposed to marry
the minister, but if you’re not, well, then maybe you can marry
Joshua. I’ve been kind of hoping the two of you would get
together.”

“Really?”

He nodded and drew close. “I don’t think he
and Miss McIntyre would be a good match,” he whispered.

Kat had intended to keep a close eye on both
her best friend and Joshua during worship service that morning, but
for some reason Cody had come alone. For a moment, she briefly
worried that perhaps Joshua was feeling poorly. More likely, she
hoped, he merely wanted to avoid any unwanted attention from
Lucille. His absence seemed a promising sign.

“But you think Joshua and I might fit?” Kat
kept her voice to a whisper, too.

“Yeah, the two of you look good
together.”

Her spirits lifted, she linked her arm with
his. “Let’s go see what Reverend Kendrick has to say, shall
we?”

They reached the door of the parsonage, and
Kat lifted a gloved hand. She knocked. Softly. Maybe Mrs. Wilkes
wouldn’t hear. Maybe Reverend Kendrick would think she’d gone home
before getting his message. Maybe—

“Good morning, Katherine.” The parson
himself opened the door. He stood beaming down at her like a
lackluster scarecrow, all arms and legs going every which way, and
his eyes bulging with unabashed lust. Men of the cloth weren’t
supposed to feel desires, were they? For that matter, a decent
young woman shouldn’t even know what lust looked like. Shame
colored Kat’s cheeks.

“You wanted to see me?” she said, leaning
away from the odious man and averting her gaze.

“Yes, yes, dear. Of course I wanted to see
you. Please, do step in. Mrs. Wilkes is fixing tea. She’ll be
serving us in the parlor.” He noticed Benjamin standing slightly
behind her. “She can watch the boy while we talk.”

Kat shook her head. “We really can’t stay
for tea, sir. I’m supposed to be teaching my class right now, and
besides, I have a lot to do at home today…”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk.”

Kat hated that clucking sound he made. It
sounded like it should be coming from an old woman. Obviously she’d
said something wrong.

“It’s Sunday. A day of rest,” Reverend
Kendrick pointed out.

“Meals still need to be served,” she pointed
out. “Folks eat as much on Sundays as they do on any other day,
sir. Sometimes more.”

Kat took a deep breath and lifted her chin.
She didn’t even like looking at the man with his long, narrow face
and unhealthy pallor. Didn’t he ever venture outside into the
sunlight? Her stomach churned. “We have to go now,” she whispered,
taking Benjamin by the arm and jerking him away with her.

“Katherine, please! I must have a word with
you. It’s very important.”

She heard him but pretended otherwise. She
also heard the door close, and the sound of hasty footsteps
following after her.

“Hurry,” she urged Benjamin as she sped up.
“We have to get to the wagon before he catches up with us.”

“It’s no use, Miss Kat.” Benjamin stopped.
So did Kat.

Reverend Kendrick had not only caught up but
had moved in front of them to block their way. He pointed to the
parsonage. “Please, Katherine.” When she nodded, he spoke quietly
to Benjamin, directing him toward Miss Wilkes who now stood at the
open door looking out.

“What is this all about?” Kat asked as she
flounced back into the parlor. She didn’t care if she sounded rude.
The man annoyed her, and she wanted nothing to do with him. Nothing
he said would interest her. At least, he didn’t seem to be in a
proposing mood, and she gave silent thanks for that. Most likely he
wanted to quote a few more scriptures, castigate her for some
sinful behavior he believed she’d committed, and warn her of
impending hellfire and brimstone about to pour down upon her.

“It’s about Benjamin,” he said in a low
voice, glancing toward the kitchen where the housekeeper had taken
the boy. “I’ve located his kin.”

Kat certainly hadn’t expected him to talk
about Benjamin, but the man would stop at nothing, she realized.
He’d use any excuse, seize any reason to engage her in further
conversation, even go so far as—