Not His Kiss to Take (15 page)

Surrendering, Jamie moved, so very slowly, so very scared. Curled inside Jamie’s hands, clasped against his chest, something shone dully. Synthetic rubber gloves and the tube of antibiotic treatment lube. Fine. If Jamie wanted to distance himself from his feelings and hide behind the cold and impersonal shield of medicine, then so be it.

Evan slowly leaned forward, pried open the straining fingers, and seized the gloves and lube for his own—he was the doctor, and knew how to use them. Ensuring Jamie was watching, he pointedly set them on the bedside table and yanked back the duvet so there’d be room enough for two.

Their eyes met as Jamie approached the bed. Jamie looked away first, shy, embarrassed, and angry. Evan kept on staring, drinking in every inch of Jamie’s body, his trembling bottom lip. “Take off your pants,” he ordered.

A final, brief rebellion took place inside Jamie, revealed by the shudder across his shoulders and a single flick of his eyes toward the door. Then he lowered his hands, hooked his thumbs in the elastic, and pushed down. Evan quit breathing.

Jamie’s cock was semi-hard, and the waistband caught on that sweet thickness before it sprang free from its confinement and the pants slid down his slim hips. The material pooled indecently at his ankles.
So beautiful, so young and perfect
. The dusting of fine blond hair on his thighs caught the light, pretty little strands of spun gold. Heat rushed to Evan’s forehead, and he finally remembered to breathe again, sucking air in through his teeth.

Tonight there’d be no kisses. No affection shared between them. Jamie wouldn’t allow it. He wasn’t ready, and Evan understood that. But Jamie wasn’t going to have everything all his own way. Evan had needs as well. This wasn’t going to be a solo adventure. “Lie down on your back.”

Confusion flashed in those summery blues.

“
I want to watch your face as I finger you. And I’m going to stroke your cock too. And then I’m gonna watch as you come for me.”

Lovely boy didn’t like hearing about this one bit.
Too damn bad, angel.
Scowling, Jamie backed up in the direction of the bed, eyes filled with resentment. And need. When the back of his knees nudged the mattress, Evan gave him a little push to the chest, and he tumbled down, slim body landing sprawled across his sheets, beautifully, spectacularly naked. Just like in the shower. Again their eyes met. Perhaps Jamie read the desire in Evan’s face, or was just desperate for release, but his cock swelled, and Evan blatantly admired the hard length stretching across his belly, the reddish tip curving inward gracefully.

Evan would have given just about anything to touch Jamie all over, to caress that flat stomach, tweak the tiny nipples, and test the texture of that sweet treasure trail of dark blond hair with his bare fingertips. To worship that hard, proud flesh with his mouth. But such intimate contact was forbidden him.
So be it
. With practiced ease, Evan snapped on the gloves.

Jamie watched every tug and adjustment, his eyes huge. The trust it must have taken for him to do this, to submit after everything he’d been through, the horrible assault he’d endured, and then the enema, made Evan even more determined to rock his world. A single flick and the lid on the tube popped open. “Move up and over.”

Jamie wriggled, shimmying into the middle and up toward the headboard, his big blue eyes never leaving Evan’s face.

“
Spread your legs.”

“
Love your sweet talk.”

A spark of that earlier rebellion flared up in his eyes and then slowly, defiantly, the sleek, strong thighs parted, knees falling toward the mattress. If Evan couldn’t touch, he was damned well going to talk his way through this impersonal encounter. Sweet talk him.

“
You’re very beautiful,” he began, meaning every word, “so perfect. Did you know that? Has anyone told you?” Jamie blinked slowly, and a red flush crept up his pale neck. “No? Shame.” Evan curled his lips into a slow and, he knew, sexy smile. “I can’t wait to touch you. Give you pleasure.”

Jamie’s breath hitched—not quite a gasp—and it just about stopped Evan’s heart mid-beat.

At the moment, Evan was certain he looked nothing like the doctor he was, shirtless and horny, his cock pressed heavily against soft pajama fabric, balls aching and full. Excitement rippled across his skin. He became aware of his accelerated breathing, each inhalation seeming not to be quite enough air. He swayed, almost light-headed. Felt breathless. Sweat prickled at his forehead, curling his hair, making the strands stick damply to his heated skin.

The cotton pants tugged tight against his crotch as he planted first one knee and then the other, on the mattress. “Don’t be afraid of me. Of this,” he said, knowing how frightening this must be for him. Not just at the prospect of what Evan might do to him, or that he was a man, but the remnants of fear from the attack, of savage hands upon him. Evan was bigger and heavier than Jamie, another large man looming over him. “I’m going to make this so good for you.”

“
I’m…I’m…” Jamie whispered, unable to formulate a full sentence.

“
Shh, Jamie, there’s nothing to worry about. Just breathe. And feel.” Taking his time, Evan moved closer, inch by measured inch, until his knees and hips filled the space between Jamie’s spread thighs. “This’ll be cold for a second.” Shoulders tensing in sympathy, he centered the tube over Jamie’s cock, flipped it upside down, and squeezed. Jamie did gasp then and winced visibly as ice-cold lube hit the hot, swollen flesh of his cock. Evan directed the tube lower, smiled wickedly, and squeezed again, aiming so that the next squirt would land on Jamie’s balls and drip down into the crack below. As the second blob of jelly hit, Jamie jerked at the cold invasion, and his knees slapped involuntarily against Evan’s hips.

“
Bastard,” Jamie breathed.

You have no idea.
Evan chuckled softly and smeared lube onto two of his fingertips. By the time he was done, Jamie would be absurdly slippery…
everywhere
. Evan’s penis throbbed as he visualized all those glistening areas waiting for his touch. But he’d have to shore up some self-control first and make sure he took things slow and not let his own fierce desire dictate a too-quick pace. Jamie would learn soon enough who ran the show, so there was no need to rush. Making sure Jamie was watching, Evan rubbed his fingers together and slowly lowered his hand, fingers poised just above Jamie’s swollen cock.

Jamie stared openmouthed and panted softly.
So beautiful, trusting me.

One fingertip. That was all Evan gave him for that first, frightening
sexual
touch. Jamie’s whole body shuddered. His cock twitched. Taut abdominal muscles rolled and contracted. One stroke. As he slid his fingers along the shaft, Jamie gasped loudly, startled.

“
You have a beautiful cock. Nice and long. And such a pretty red blush at the head, peeking out just for me. I would love to lick it.”

“
What? No!” Jamie sputtered.

Evan moved his finger, spreading the lube along the length, over the foreskin and onto the deep-red glans. “As you wish. But you’d really like it. I know you would. I know
I
would.” Just like he’d done to himself only a few minutes—seemed like a hundred years—ago, Evan circled the head with that one finger, a swirling swipe around the crown. Unlike Jamie’s intact beauty, Evan was cut, the head of his cock not nearly as sensitive as Jamie’s, always protected as it was by that thin sheath of skin.

That single touch electrified Jamie, and his hips jerked violently up and off the bed.

“
Yeah? Like that? Shall I do it again, do you think?”

“
Smug…perverted…bastard,” Jamie responded, each word panted out as fear and lust fought each other.

Teasing and slow, Evan circled the head a few more times, fascinated by the foreskin retracting farther, revealing more of the blood-infused crown. Precum already beaded up at the slit.
One taste. Just one.
His baby finger wasn’t quite as coated with lube, and Evan teased a drop from the slit, stealing himself a glistening pearl. Jamie’s eyes bulged as Evan raised it to his mouth.

“
Unh,” Jamie groaned.

Smiling his wickedest smile, Evan touched his finger to the tip of his tongue and licked. Jamie gasped again. “Delicious,” Evan purred. And it was, salty and bitter and fantastic. Smelled great too, musky and so delightfully male.

“
D-don’t do that,” Jamie stuttered.

“
My reward for not throttling you earlier,” Evan said, grinning. Savoring that one stolen taste dancing on his tongue, Evan reached back down to Jamie’s cock and slid his thumb from base to tip. Another bead of tasty fluid leaked from the tip. Evan’s mouth watered.
Don’t push him. No matter how responsive to your touch, no matter how delicious he tastes. You know the unspoken rules. Keep it impersonal. Not…gay.

Keeping his touch light, Evan teased the sensitive tissue with gentle rubs. Jamie squirmed. Evan pushed the tease until Jamie could bear no more and his body shook, muscles strung tight. This was supposed to be pleasure, not torture, so Evan added a second finger and applied more pressure. The boy’s long, strong fingers dug into the foamy mattress topper, leaving furrows behind. “I’m going to take your cock in my fist now. If it hurts at all, you tell me. Immediately. Understand?”

In the dim light, Jamie’s penis looked healthy and healed, but the damage from the beating had been severe. Evan knew to be careful and not reinjure healing tissues.

Jamie muttered some sort of affirmative reply and then hissed, “Fuck!” as Evan encircled his cock with his hand. Barely applying pressure, he pumped. Jamie mouthed
fuck
again as if his voice failed him, and thrust his hips up.
Oh yeah, come on, beautiful, writhe for me.
With his eyes practically rolling back in his head, Jamie moved at his unspoken command, hips undulating. The angry furrow between his brows finally smoothed out, resentment at last subjugated by his discovery of this newfound pleasure.

Jamie quickened, almost reaching climax. Ah, the vigor of the disgustingly young. Evan squeezed harder, and Jamie jerked, but not in that good, lust-crazed way. His head shot up off the pillow, and he grunted, a spike of pain slashing deep into the pleasure. “Okay, breathe, Jamie. I’ll ease up. Shh, now.”

“
Hurts.”

“
I’ll be more careful. Promise.”

Now that he’d found the limit, Evan obeyed it. The bruised flesh needed a lighter touch, and he relaxed his grip. This wouldn’t be such a problem if Jamie would quit being so goddamned stubborn and let him suck him off instead. An impossible wish, since Jamie’d never allow something personal, something that could be construed as being…
gay
. “Fuck my hand,” he said instead. Jamie could set his own pace. “Do it until it feels good again.”

Still thrumming with need, Jamie didn’t need to be told twice. His hips thrust up and down. Evan fondled his balls gently, just little tugs. That seemed okay—Jamie twisted and thrust his hips up harder and faster. The gentle squeezing pressure wasn’t quite enough to make him climax, and he clung to the edge, not quite able to fall over it. Which suited Evan fine. The threat had been clear—if he came into his room again, he’d be getting a finger in his ass, and Evan intended to give it to him. No one could say he wasn’t a follow-through kind of guy. Evan’s cock nodded in agreement.

Set on following up with his threat, Evan opened his fingers and released Jamie’s cock.

The boy’s eyes flew open. “What?” he panted.

Frustrated, much darling?
“Lift your hips,” Evan ordered. Jamie obeyed without hesitation, and Evan tugged a pillow over and shifted it under Jamie’s ass.

“
What are you doing?” Jamie gasped at the unexpected change and tried to squirm away.

Evan captured his knee and held him still. “I’m raising your butt up a bit. Now hold still.”

“
Why?” Jamie asked, fear creeping back into his voice.

“
Because I’m going to finger your ass, and then you’re gonna come for me.”

Jamie balked at those words and whacked him in the hip with his unrestrained leg.