Not-God (59 page)

3
     Bill D.’s first response, as recalled by Wilson at
LM
, was; “But I’m different;” several of Wilson’s early letters to those lamenting lack of success in working with others stress the same theme:
cf
. especially to Larry J., 27 June 1940; to Fitz M., 16 August 1940; Ruth H. [Wilson’s and A.A.’s secretary](New York) to A.M. 17 August 1940. Wilson’s continued focus on the “sense of being different” as a cause of problems is clear in much of his correspondence to those who wrote him of their troubles; e.g., to Peter M., 23 February 1955: “Perhaps one thing that bothers you is the feeling that your case is somehow much different and much worse than other people’s.” For the theme’s significance to Dr. Bob,
cf
. beyond “Last Major Talk,” Sue G., tr. On Wilson’s attitude to how his own sense of “being different” was related to his alcoholism,
cf
. in
Chapter One
, p. 18, and especially note #36 to that quotation.

4
     
AA
, pp. 21, 30, 62;
cf
. especially p. 30, the opening of
Chapter 3
: “More About Alcoholism”: “Most of us have been unwilling to admit that we were real alcoholics. No one likes to think that he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.… The delusion that we are like other people … has to be smashed.”

It is impossible to date with any exactness the shift from “deflation” to “bottom” or the beginning of the common use of the term “identification.” The term “bottom” seems to come out of the period of self-consciousness about its “raising” —
cf
.
Chapter Five
, below. The idea of “identification” is clear in
AA’s
description of “the real alcoholic” (the same
Chapter 3
of
AA)
and, as
key
, in Wilson, “Rockland,” where Bill sets forth as the first “elemental principle … of our work” that “the man on the bed feels he is one of us. [This is the] strong bridge [over which] we begin to introduce our ideas.” The importance of this as the key perception of Dr. Bob Smith is stressed by Leach and Norris, “Factors in the Development…, in Kissin and Begleiter, p. 456. The explicit emergence came in
12&12
.

5
    
AA, p. 21; cf. 12&12
, p. 22.
AA
, pp. 42, 8; Wilson to Ray H., 25 April 1961;
cf
. also
AA
, pp. 92, 116, 141; the quotation in the footnote is from “Greetings on our Tenth Christmas — to All Members,” mimeo copy in A.A. archives, 1944 "Alcoholic Foundation” file (italics Wilson’s).

The point in this paragraph is clearly the key in all the early trs.;
cf
. especially that of Marty Mann: as self-consciously the first woman to “get the program” and later nationally prominent in the alcoholism field, Ms. Mann’s experience was often used as paradigmatic
re
the “sense of being different”:
cf
. Wilson, “Fellowship,” p. 461. This interpretation was explored in depth with and confirmed by Marty Mann, interview of 15 November 1977.

6
     This concept was most usually treated in early A.A. under the heading of “honesty,” with much harking back to the OG insistence on “absolute honesty” by those less consistent than Wilson in abhorring “absolutes”:
cf
. Ebby T., T., tr., p. 12. For Wilson’s stress on “honesty,”
cf
. especially “Rockland,” where in the discussion following his presentation several doctors pointed out that this was the equivalent of their “mental catharsis.” This understanding of how A.A. works also becomes central to the writings of Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, a friend of Wilson’s from 1939, and his personal therapist in the mid-1940’s: Marty Mann, tr., and especially interview of 15 November 1977.
Cf
.
Chapter Eight
, below, for treatment and citations.

7
     On “surrender,”
cf
.
Chapter Eight
, below. Although so blatantly “religious” a description was of course veiled in these stories, 12 of the 26 stories in the first edition of
AA
(and 10 of the 16 from Akron) witness to such an expression of surrender. (The numbers 26 and 16 here because I am not counting Dr. Bob and “An Alcoholic’s Wife.”) The point is made vividly clear by a comparison of Clarence S’s description of his hospitalization as recounted in the Appendix, p. 239, below, with his story as it appeared in
AA
, pp. 297-303. That it was the former style that was carried over to Cleveland A.A. is witnessed by the descriptions of Dick P. and Warren C, interviews of 8 September 1977, also quoted in the Appendix, pp. 236-237.

8
     
AACA
, p. 146; Thomsen, p. 273; Nell Wing, interview of 5 April 1977, reporting the memories of Ruth H., who was secretary to Wilson and Hank P. from early 1938. Wilson to Smith, ? June 1938, testifies that “a lot of people … had got quite afire” about the book. Jim B., “Evolution,” pp. 2-3, unconsciously reveals himself as leading this attitude from the time of his January 1938, arrival.

9
     For Dr. Bob’s financial condition:
AACA
, p. 149; interview with Henrietta Seiberling, 6 April 1977; also the sources cited in note #12 to
Chapter Two
, p. 320, above. Virtually all the sparse Smith correspondence through the mid-1940’s bears witness to his financial plight:
cf.
, e.g., Smith (Akron) to Hank P., 15 September 1939;
cf
. also Wilson to Clarence S., 23 April 1940. For the Akronites’ attitude to the book, HS, interview cited; trs. of Bob E., Dorothy M., and Sue G.

10
    Wilson’s financial condition:
AACA
. pp. 99-100; Thomsen, p. 257. Clarence S., annotated copy of
AACA
sent to this writer, p. 100, claims of the Towns Hospital story which follows here: “This is B.S.” According to Clarence,
he
had received such an offer in Cleveland, and Wilson in
AACA
untruthfully “switches the story to be his experience!” Supporting Wilson’s accuracy are Ruth H., tr. and — more tellingly — Wilson to Frank Amos, 26 September 1938, which mentions the incident as known to Amos. Lois Wilson’s diary places the occurrence in December of 1936:
cf. Lois Remembers
, p. 197. I follow in the text here Wilson’s telling of this event in
AACA:
despite some slight inconsistencies and its aura of incredible coincidences, the other sources indicate that it is substantially correct.

11
    
AACA
, p. 100;
cf
. Thomsen, pp. 257-258. Towns, in early 1937, almost certainly did not say “A.A.”:
cf
. discussion of the name below, pp. 74-75.

12
    
AACA
, p. 100;
cf
. Thomsen, pp. 257-258.

13
    
AACA
, p. 101;
cf
. Thomsen, pp. 258-260.

14
    
Ibid
.

15
    The projection of Wilson’s thoughts here and in the next paragraph is based on subsequent events and my general sense of him rather than on any specific source.

16
    For the background of the New York alcoholics,
cf
. stones in
AA
, 1st ed.; Hank P., e.g., had been a regional sales manager for Standard Oil.

17
    
AACA
, pp. 146-147;
cf
. Thomsen, p. 273.

18
    
AACA
, p. 147;
cf
. Thomsen, pp. 273-274. A.A. legend has it that Strong and Richardson had courted the same girl: Strong lost (and married Bill’s sister).

The evidence of Lois Wilson’s diary (cited in note #57 to
Chapter Two
) solves what would otherwise be a problem of chronology here. Dr. Strong’s letter introducing Wilson to Richardson is dated 26 October 1937, and the meeting described in the next paragraph is proposed in a letter from Richardson (New York) to Strong, 10 November 1937. Some who were aware of this timing and uncritically accepting of Wilson’s “November” on
AACA
, p. 76, have on this evidence accused Wilson of dishonesty and promotional over-zeal. The real problem clearly is Wilson’s atrocious memory for dates.

19
    
AACA
, p. 148; Thomsen, pp. 274-275.

20
    
Ibid
.

21
    
AACA
, pp. 148-149; Thomsen. p. 275.

22
    
AACA
, p. 149; Thomsen, p. 275.

23
    
AACA
, pp. 150-151; interview with Henrietta Seiberling, 6 April 1977;
cf
. also “Lack of Money Proved A.A. Boon — by Bill,”
AAGV
4:1 (June 1947), 3, 13; Amos, “History.”

Richardson (New York) to Rockefeller, 23 February 1938, seems to support the Seiberling version: Richardson’s proposal is that Rockefeller aid with $5,000 tor two years. The attachment, “Notes on Akron, Ohio Survey by Frank Amos,” makes the same recommendation. Yet Rockefeller’s practice, as I understand it, was to discuss orally and then have letters confirming consensus written — this point as hearsay to me is noted to explain my refusal to decide here. Rockefeller’s agreement so to aid, in a letter to Richardson of 17 March 1938, offers as his chief consideration for his decision his general policy on charity rather than any perception of “money ruining … first century Christianity.”

Henrietta Seiberling, interview of 6 April 1977, claimed that her impact on and guidance of Amos was responsible for his favorable report, her interpretation based on the “class” point noted above,
Chapter One
, note #64. I doubt it, although Amos does stress the “quality” of those “salvaged,” and this point had no doubt been emphasized to him by Mrs. Seiberling. The style of Wilson’s appeals for funds at this time indirectly reflects the “quality” point: he stressed in his presentations the worth of such “salvagings” to business;
cf
, e.g., Wilson to Charles P., 1 July 1938; Wilson to Dr. Esther R., ? June or July 1938; also, recalling those efforts, Carlton S. (New York) to Wilson, 6 March 1957.

24
    
AACA
, pp. 151-152. The actual “Trust Indenture” is dated 5 August 1938; Amos, “History,” refers in his title to “the formation of The Alcoholic Foundation on 11 August 1938.” I here preserve “Spring” from
AACA
, p. 151, as the time when the decision was made to begin work to form the Foundation. On
AACA
, p. 152, Wilson dates the actual Foundation as from “May, 1938”: erroneous, and another example of his lack of memory for dates. The first clear expression of many ideas eventually incorporated into the Foundation appears in Hank P. (New York) to Frank Amos, 16 March 1938.

25
    
AACA
, p. 153;
cf
. Thomsen, pp. 277-278. Jim B., “Evolution,” p. 3, dates the beginning of writing as “in June 1938”: slightly erroneous, but intriguing witness to his insistence on his own impact on the book; he was the group’s chief “radical” arguing against “too much God” in the book —
cf
. below, pp. 71 and 75-76; also Wilson to Jim S., 28 February 1955.

Wilson’s 1920s activity was best described by Thomsen, pp. 148-159; supplementary light on this and the beginnings of the writing was offered by Lois Wilson, interview of 16 November 1976;
cf. AACA
, pp. 153-154;
LM;
Thomsen, pp. 278-279; what may be inferred of Dr. Smith’s letter from Wilson to Smith, ? June 1938, also, for color and detail, Ruth H., tr.

26
    Wilson’s earliest drafts have been lost. In the “promotional stage” of the material, the ultimate
Chapter 2
, “There Is A Solution,” preceded the ultimate
Chapter 1
, “Bill’s Story.” — A.A. archives, inclusion with Frank Amos (New York) to Albert Scott, 24 June 1938. The sense of the stories as “the heart of the book” as well as a witness to this arrangement appears in Wilson to Smith, ? June 1938;
cf
. also below, pp. 71-73.

27
    
Cf
. above, pp. 44-45.

28
    Interview with Lois Wilson, 16 November 1976; Bob E., tr., p. 22;
cf
. also pp. 71-73, below.

29
    
AACA
, pp. 153-157;
cf
. Thomsen, pp. 279-280.

30
    NW, “Outline;”
AACA
, p. ix; Jim B., “Evolution,” p. 4; interview with Henrietta Seiberling, 6 April 1977; “Anne Smith’s favorite quote” according to Ruth H., reported by NW, letter to writer of 6 December 1976.

31
    
AACA
, p. 159; Wilson to Smith, ? June, 15 July, 7 August, 27 September, and 3 November 1938; Jim B., “Evolution,” pp. 4-5, offers the best description of “these chapters, as completed, [being] raked and mauled over.…” Much A.A. myth surrounds the composition of the Twelve Steps: I find Wilson’s telling in
AACA
, followed here, scrupulously accurate. Its greatest external support, to me, is Dr. Bob’s telling of his role in their writing, “Last Major Talk,” pp. 10-11: “I didn’t write the Twelve Steps. I had nothing to do with the writing of them. I think probably I had something to do with them indirectly, because after this June 10th episode, Bill came to live at our house and stayed for about three months and there was hardly a night in that three months that we didn’t sit up until two and three o’clock discussing these things. And it would be hard for me to conceive that something wasn’t said at or during these nightly discussions around our kitchen table that influenced the actual writing of the Twelve Steps.”
Cf
. also Virginia M., tr., reflecting the Akron sense, and Ruth H., tr., for a convincingly detailed description of the writing and editing processes.

32
    
AACA
, pp. 160-161. A.A. legend has it that these six steps derived directly from the OG: this is simply wrong.
Cf
. sources cited in
Chapter Two
, note #33; Henrietta Seiberling, who — if anyone —
would want
to claim so, interview of 6 April 1977; extensively annotated copy of Anne Smith’s OG “workbook” in A.A. archives. These six “steps” summarize what the early A.A.s had plucked from diverse OG sources. That this exact formulation of these six “steps” was contrived by Wilson only as he set out to record the history in
AACA
seems clearest from the differences between them and the “six points” noted by Wilson in “Review” as “learned from the Oxford Groups.”