“I can do it.” She reached for it but he snatched it away.
“Damn you, why do you have to be so stubborn about every little thing?”
Heat scaled her cheeks and tears threatened. “I'm humiliated enough as it is.”
“Humiliated?” He scowled. “Why?”
“Because this is something I deal with on my own. It's my body, my problem, and I'd like to at least hold on to the illusion that I'm desirable, okay?”
He rose slowly, until he towered over her, his eyes transforming to blue fire. “So it's acceptable that I can kiss and touch your sex, that I can shove my cock in it, come inside you there, but for this you refuse my help? I've never treated you like a whore, Alison. So I'd appreciate not being just another john to you.”
“You're not,” she pushed the words out through her clogged throat. “Dear God, Del, you're not.”
“Then let me help you.” He knelt down again and waited.
Gritting her teeth, she inched her legs apart. Though she wanted to turn her head away, she forced herself to meet his gaze, to hold it while he pushed the small device into her body with his long fingers. It went up farther than she would have thought, farther than she would have been able to situate it on her own. She saw the confirmation in his eyes as he removed his fingers from her channel and wiped them on the towel. He brought the fabric up to her sex lips and cleaned her meticulously. She let him, her heart pounding in her chest. No one had ever treated her this way.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Placing his lips on her mound, he gave her a soft kiss there, a sweet, intimate gesture that had nothing to do with sex. “You're welcome.”
He rose and retrieved a fresh towel to wrap around her. “Are you still in pain? The patroller gave me some kind of tea that is supposed to help if you need it.”
“It's not so bad now.” Gripping his arm, she steadied herself and took a hesitant step forward. She couldn't feel the metal thing pressed against her womb, thank God. That would be a little too cyborg weird for her to handle. “How long before I take it out?”
“When your cycle is complete.”
“Seriously?” She had some pretty heavy periods and that little thing didn't seem up for such a task.
But Fenton nodded as he opened the bathroom door. “That's what the patroller said.”
The patroller had Ari in her arms and was cooing softly to the little one. “I just changed her diaper and her bottle is heating.”
“Thank you,” Fenton said.
Alison echoed his sentiment. Although the yawn she emitted halfway through didn't exactly underscore her point. After helping her ease down onto the pillow, Fenton covered her up and stoked the fire. He turned and took his niece from the patroller.
“You've got a good breeder here, miss. Knows how to treat his womenfolk.” With that sage bit of wisdom imparted, the patroller left.
“I know,” Alison whispered.
“Warm enough?” Del asked as he settled on the floor next to her with Ari.
She wasn't but he had his hands full. “I will be in a minute.”
Strong arms circled around her from behind pulling her snugly against a solid chest that radiated the blessed heat she craved. She gasped when she realized Del had phase split so he could tend her and Ari at once.
“Delâ” She turned to face the version holding the baby. What if the patroller came back? He would be putting himself and Ari at risk.
“Ssshhh.” He held a finger to her lips. “It's our secret.”
17
F
enton didn't sleep. Once Ari was fed and drifting happily back off, he recombined himself with the version holding Alison.
Seeing her in pain, so vulnerable, had twisted something inside him until he suffered too. Everything he'd told her earlier still stood; he couldn't trust her. But neither could he pretend he didn't have feelings for her, feelings that had nothing to do with his sister's death. He hadn't taken her with him out of fear, but out of desire for more of her, more time to know everything about her. He'd kept her like a trapped animal, completely dependent on him. Of course she'd resent the leash and the hand holding it.
It wasn't her fault he'd seen things about her he didn't like. He wasn't above reproach either. If she could get past his flaws, he owed her the same consideration.
So in the dark, snuggled next to her soft form, he plotted out a new course of action. There were so many missteps along a winding and treacherous path, but doing nothing wasn't an option, not for him. Fate didn't treat him kindly if he gave it half a chance. So he wouldn't, instead devising a strategy and seeing it through to the end.
Alison let out a soft moan and shifted against him, pushing the blanket down past her lush breasts. Her brow furrowed as though she were in pain. His hand settled on the soft curve of her belly. She sighed and snuggled deeper against him, as though his touch had slain her imaginary monsters. And his niece needed them both. She'd bonded with Alison instantly, and though she might complain about diaper changes and feedings, he'd seen the protectiveness in Alison's eyes, the way she assessed if they posed a threat to Ari. She needed him and as he looked down on her soft, sleeping face he accepted that he needed her too.
Ari stirred restlessly, just as soft light spilled through the windows. Brushing Alison's hair away from her face, he pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead and murmured, “Rest, lovely.”
After using the facilities, he packed enough supplies for the day and fed Ari. His own stomach rumbled, but he was anxious to get out of the hut for the day. His convictions were too new, too raw, and he wasn't up to discussing them just yet.
Better to move forward.
With Ari strapped into the carrier, he moved in the direction Dani had said her chamber could be found. Though it was early, many men moved about, several with infants or small children, going about their morning routines. From what he'd gleaned, the women fought, gave birth, and the ruling empress made decisions. Everything else fell to the breeders.
Fenton smiled to himself. No wonder Alison liked it here. To be treated like a warrior goddess, pampered and spoiled, it was in her demanding nature. Indulging her gave him such pleasure, knowing he alone could fill all her needs. There was something primal and sexually enticing in that.
Ari fussed against his chest, but the hard-backed carrier gave her little wiggle room. He murmured softly to her, mentally counting off doorways as he walked. At the sixty-seventh one, he found the staircase, winding upward. He began to climb, his thighs burning from hauling Ari's extra weight on top of his own. The training would do him good. He'd been aboard ships too long and was growing soft.
Knocking on Dani's door, he stepped aside when Kel opened the door.
“We'd hoped you'd show up,” the other man said. “Come in.”
The door was small and he had to duck to get through it. The space behind it surprised him as it was four times the size of the space he shared with Alison. Separate rooms for the kitchen and living space as well as what he guessed was a bedroom in back.
Dani approached and saw the question in his eyes. “Not many wish to live this high up. We'll be the first picked off if the helcats break through. Have a seat.”
Unstrapping Ari, Fenton sat with her on his lap, stretching the little one's arms and legs to ease her stiffness. “You said there is a place large enough for our purposes where the empress won't notice us. Where?”
Dani and Kel exchanged looks. “The old tunnels. They were dug beneath the settlement and lead into the mountain several clicks to the west. As an escape route in case the helcats ever got through.”
“An escape route?”
But Kel shook his head. “There was a rockslide years ago. The mountain itself is inaccessible and our colony is too short on manpower as it is to try and dig a new exit.”
“But there are chambers large enough to hold maybe a hundred men. It's the perfect place to train.”
“When, though? Won't the breeders' absence be noted?”
Kel and Dani exchanged a glance. “Not at night. By day they need to fetch and carry and are seen throughout the colony. Chores, meals, and child rearing will keep them busy. But at night after the patrollers are asleep . . .” She let the statement hang.
“You want them to slip out of their lovers' beds, sneak down into abandoned tunnels to learn how to fight?” Fenton shook his head. “That will take some serious commitment.”
“It's the only way, unless your woman can convince the empress of the need, and allow us to train in the open,” Kel said.
“She could. My mother respects her,” Dani put in.
“No.” Fenton rose, cradling his niece in his arms. “Alison can't know about this. If anything happens to me, I need her to take care of Ari for me.”
“Then the tunnels it is. When should we start?”
“Tonight, an hour after full dark. Tell all who are interested to meet us down there. And to trust none of the women, not even their lovers, or daughters. We can't arouse suspicion with the patrollers.”
“I'll show you the caves.” Kel stood too.
Fenton turned away as the big man embraced his woman, but though the space was impressive; he heard every word.
“I can't come back here tonight.” Kel's voice was filled with regret. “If your mother thinks we are exclusive she'll banish me. You should call for another.”
“I don't want another. Not another lover or even another child that I never get to see. The rules are ridiculous, you know they are. If it's between living like this and the helcats, I'll take on the beasts single-handedly.”
“How I love you, my fierce warrior. Be safe.”
Fenton followed Kel down the stairs and around the lake in silence, content to give the other man his privacy. Though he and Alison had their shares of troubles, at least they didn't have an entire civilization opposed to their union.
“Sometimes,” he whispered to Ari, “life just plain sucks.”
Alison rolled over, searching for Del's heat. All her hands found were cool sheets. Opening her eyes, she searched, but the one-room hut was quiet, the door to the sani-facilities wide open.
Had it all been a dream? The cramping in her midsection told her that part at least was real and not some dream. Good, because if she started dreaming about her menstrual cycle, she'd need to go hunting for a life.
A wooden crate caught her eye. The large box hadn't been there last night. Curious, Alison went to inspect it and found a data pad with a blinking message.
They were too beautiful to cut up. Join me for breakfast, directions on the pad. ~G
Grinning, Alison lifted the lid and found a few of her dresses, still intact, inside. The woman had taste; the four outfits left were the choicest material, the perfect cut. Slipping into a pair of black silk pants and a royal purple top, Alison pinned her hair up and, clutching the pad, went out to greet the day.
She was surprised to see that Gwella's domicile wasn't part of the main hive of housing. Instead it sat amongst a copse of trees, much smaller than the giant redwoods and pines with heavy boughs of the outer forest. These were spaced evenly enough that Alison guessed they were being farmed, either for firewood or furniture. Perhaps both.
Gwella sat on her front porch, wrapped in a shawl, a steaming mug of something in her hand. Patrollers stood as unobtrusively as possible around the porch, obviously there to protect the empress.
“Good morning,” Alison greeted her with a wave. “And thank you for the lovely gift.”
“No need to thank me.” Gwella rose and gestured toward the door. “You look stunning. I thought about keeping one or two for myself, but that would just be too selfish.”
“You are the least selfish person I have ever encountered.” Alison looked around the small but tidy space. A long, wooden table took up the majority of the front room. Data pads were strewn about, along with stacks of paper, giving the space an unbalanced, harried feel.
“Welcome to my insanity.” Gwella nodded at the mess. “If I'd known there was so much documentation involved with this job, I never would have taken it on in the first place.”
“Don't you have anyone else to do it for you?” Alison asked as she followed the empress into a spacious kitchen.
“Technically, the next in line is supposed to take care of this, but asking Dani to do paperwork would be like asking the helcats to adapt a vegetarian diet. Goes against nature.”
“Maybe I can help?” Alison surveyed the mess. “You'd have to show me what to do, but I could give it a shot.”
“I confess, that's precisely why I asked you over this morning.” Gwella smiled. “And why I sent you a peace offering. I truly am sorry I confiscated your vessel and your belongings and put you and your breeder and child in danger, but I am glad to have you here.”
“Believe it or not, I'm glad you came along when you did.” Alison smiled back. “I like your world and respect your deft handling of it against such odds.”
“I'd say I'm immune to flattery, but I'd be lying. Unfortunately most who offer it are doing so in an attempt to manipulate me.”
“Gwella?” A deep voice resounded from the back room.
“Speak the beast's name . . .” Gwella turned as a giant of a man made his way through the kitchen. His biceps, which were revealed in the thin vest he wore over tight breeches, were thicker than Alison's considerably hefty thighs. There didn't seem to be an ounce of excess fat on him.
“Apologies, Empress, I wasn't aware you had company.” The massive man bowed, though he still towered over both the women. His dark skin glistened with sweat as though he'd been exerting himself.
“Alison, meet Link, my personal breeder.”
Unsure of the protocol, Alison nodded her head in respect. “It's nice to meet you, Link.”
He didn't touch her but deep, chocolate eyes warmed as they scanned her face. “Welcome to Daton Five, my lady. If there's anything I can do to make your stay more pleasant, please don't hesitate to call on me.”
Alison bit her lip and shot Gwella a nervous glance. The empress rolled her own eyes and shoved at her lover playfully. “Pay him no mind. He's an incorrigible flirt.”
“I may be bound to you, but I am still a man.” He winked at both women. “I have finished chopping wood, Empress, we have enough for several weeks. What else do you require?”
“Send a messenger to Dani. I need to confer with her after second meal.”
“I could go in person if you wish it.”
“No, she threw something at you last time you went to her place. The messenger shall suffice.”
“As you wish, Empress.” Another bow and Link lumbered from the room.
Gwella poured more of the hot beverage into her own cup, along with a second one for Alison. “Sorry, family drama. Link and Dani don't exactly get along.”
“I'm not judging.” Taking a cautious sip from the proffered cup, Alison smiled as the strong flavor coated her taste buds. “Not exactly coffee, but still delicious.”
“Thank you. It's from Link's private garden. He grows the fruit and mulls it himself. Come, we'll sit on the porch and ignore the paperwork awhile longer.”
“The two of you seem very content together.” Alison observed as she lowered herself into the second wooden seat. The patrollers stood in the exact same position and didn't bat an eyelash at their conversation.
“Link was the first breeder I was ever with,” Gwella stated. “He was so gentle with me, so loving. I knew from the moment he first touched me that I wanted him for my own. But he was sterile, unable to father children. A shame, you've seen his size and strength. He would be an ideal man to pair with, but it was not to be. And I was destined to be empress. So I used others, until Dani was conceived. It broke Link's heart, watching other men give me what he could not and knowing I wanted him by my side. Once Dani was born, I gave her to her father to raise until she came of age.”
“A very efficient system.” Alison shuddered to think what would have happened to her or her sister if they'd been given exclusively to their father to rear.