No Bra Required! (5 page)

“Huh huh, sure honey. My full name is Roger Elvis Presley,
87 Cedar Road.”

“That’s great Mr Presley if you’d like to take a seat and
wait until your name flashes up on the screen.” 

“Sure can honey, thank yer very much.”

Lucy who had been listening from behind the staff room
doorway, now exploded, imagining him curling his lip as he said it. 
Callie joined her and shut the door, both of them trying not to laugh too
loudly.

Gradually, after a few minutes, Lucy calmed down. “Oh my
God,” she gasped breathlessly, “that’s the funniest thing I have ever
seen.  Please tell me that’s a joke. He doesn’t actually dress and act
like that all the time does he?”

Callie shook her head, wiping the tears from her face. 
“Oh yes pet that’s Mr Presley’s regular attire, unless he’s going through his
GI period, but you can always rely on the Jesus Sandals.  His wife buys
them for him.”

“He’s married?”  Lucy asked incredulously, unsure
whether anyone woman would put up with that.

“Oh aye, he’s been married to Pi Pen for about three years
now.”

“What!”  Lucy started to laugh once more.  “Oh
please stop it Callie, don’t, I think I might wet myself.  His wife isn’t
called Pi Pen, is she?”

Callie nodded “Yes, she is pet.  He met her at an Elvis
convention in Benidorm.  She was performing as Jailhouse Rock
Elvis.” 

Lucy’s laughter grew louder and more intense as she thought
of Mr Presley and Pi Pen.  “You're joking aren’t you?” she asked,
breathing heavily as she paused from laughing

“No pet I’m not, it’s all true.  I tell you something
else he went out with a Susan Boyle tribute act before he met Pi Pen.”

Lucy now laughed hysterically and lost control of herself,
and, unfortunately, her bladder.

Ten minutes later Ed appeared in the staff room, a huge
smile upon his face.

“Well ladies, just to let you know Elvis and his piles have
now left the building.”

“Oh no, please don’t, not again.”  Lucy moved toward
the door desperate to get away from anymore Elvis badinage. She was exhausted
from laughing so hard.

“What’s that rustling sound?” Ed asked as Lucy walked past
him.

“Paper knickers,” informed Callie without looking up from
her magazine.

Ed merely nodded and followed Lucy out.  “You’ve been
well and truly ‘Presley-ed' then.”  He said gazing at her, thinking that
she looked even more beautiful than usual with a smile upon her face.

“Yes I suppose I have,” Lucy giggled and wiped her eyes
again.  “Is every day like this here?”

“Not every day, although working with Callie is never
dull.  You may actually get to like it here, in our little corner of
County Durham.”

“You never know,” she replied looking at him from under her
lashes.  “There are benefits.”

“Well,” said Ed placing a hand on her cheek, wiping a stray
laughter tear with his thumb.  “You’ve certainly added some beauty to the
place.”  He then disappeared, back to his consulting room.

Lucy’s heart was now beating in double time as she watched
his perfect bottom moving enticingly as he walked away.  God, how could
she have just flirted with him, and why did he have to flirt back? She couldn’t
possibly have supper with him now.  However, the thought of it excited her
more than she could imagine.  She felt her cheek where he’d touched her
and shivered with delight.  Things were getting a little messy a little
too quickly.  She’d only been here an hour, and they were already
flirting!

In his room, Ed was certainly feeling the heat too.  As
he shut the door behind him, he collapsed against it letting out a blast of
air.

“Oh my God,” he whispered.  “What am I doing? 
Flirting with her and asking her to dinner, you are asking for trouble Ed
Bryce, you really are.” 

The rest of Lucy’s day passed uneventfully until, at midday,
it was time for her to go home.  She didn’t think that she’d made too many
mistakes, although eighty-year-old Mrs Platt almost got an appointment for a
smear with Nurse Gaffney when she actually wanted her in growing toe nails
sorted; otherwise she’d done well, so Callie said.   As she let
herself into the house, she wondered what her dad had been up to, the smell of
baking answered her question.  She went through to the kitchen, to find
him checking on a fruit cake.

“Hi Dad,” she said kissing him on the cheek.  “You
really didn’t need my help did you?” She smiled and pinched his cheek.

“Well we’ve already established that I lied sweetie, but
it’s my prerogative as your dad,” he replied kissing her back.  “So how
was your first morning then?”

“Well entertaining, to say the least.  I met Mr Presley
and wet my knickers.”

Gerald gave an enormous belly laugh.  “Hahaha, poor old
Roger, how is he anyway?”

“Fine, which is better than I was.  Anyway, I have a
bone to pick with you, why didn’t you or Richard tell me that Dr Bryce had a
son?”

Gerald looked at her quizzically.  “I don’t know, but
what difference does it make?”  He now smiled at her; Richard mentioned
the buzz of electricity between Lucy and Ed.

“Well none really, other than Callie has bloody well roped
me in to being his sodding nanny for a couple of weeks while his mother is away
on holiday.”

“Oh right.” Gerald turned his head to hide the smile that
touched his lips.  “So you didn’t have a choice about the matter then?”

“Dad, you know what Callie is like, of course I didn’t have
a choice.  Anyway, I’m going around for dinner this evening to meet his
son, and talk about it.”  Lucy turned away, and nonchalantly picked at
some grapes in the fruit bowl.

“Right,” Gerald said his smile widening.  “Shall I wait
up or not?”

“Dad!” Lucy almost screamed, hitting him playfully on the
arm.  “It’s nothing like that I’m still grieving for my marriage, and am
certainly not interested in a relationship.”

“Of course darling, I totally understand.  By the way,
Sarah called, so perhaps you’d better ring her before your date and discuss
tactics.”  Gerald ducked as Lucy threw a grape at him.

“Hi Sarah it’s me.”  Lucy greeted her friend feeling
brighter than she had in weeks.

“Hiya how are you? You sound pretty perky”  Sarah
sighed, thankful that Lucy seemed happier than when she’d waved her off on her
trip up north.

“I’m okay thanks.  Covering for Richard has been fun,
to say the least.”  For the next ten minutes Lucy regaled the tale of Mr
Presley, smiling and laughing again as she recalled her morning.

“Oh dear,” Sarah giggled.  “He sounds hilarious, and
it’s good to hear you laughing.  What about the people you work with, what
are they like?”

“Ah well there’s a tale to tell there as well.”

“Oh sounds interesting.”

Lucy sighed deeply and told Sarah all about Callie and then
how she’d coerced her into becoming Dr Bryce’s part-time nanny.

“Well it would be something else to keep you busy and keep
your mind off Simon.” Sarah responded cautiously.  “But I can understand
why you’d be annoyed at almost being forced into it, or is something else
bothering you?”  She was greeted with silence.  “Luce, I’ve known you
for far too many years, so I know when something is troubling you.  Is it
because of the little boy, are you worried about looking after him?  Luce
we've talked about this before and anything that happened wasn’t your fault you
know.”

“I know Sarah, it’s not that. It’s just…well I feel guilty
even saying it.”  Lucy screwed her face up and rubbed her eyes.

“Go on say it I’m not going to judge you,” Sarah pleaded.

“You might when I tell you that I absolutely fancy the arse
off Dr Bryce.”  Lucy frowned expecting Sarah to tell her to stop being
stupid.  She was three weeks out of a five-year marriage and shouldn’t
even think of another man this soon.

Sarah laughed loudly on the other end of the line.  “Go
Lucy!” she cried.  “I was dreading what you were going to say.  Oh my
God Luce, what’s he like?”  Sarah asked excitedly.

Lucy stood up and started to pace the room.  “
Sarah,
this is not a good thing you know.  I’ve just lost the love of my life
to Jennifer ‘bloody bitch’…”

“Yeah, yeah I know, ‘bitch face’ Grayson. He's not dead
Lucy, he left you for a pregnant Barbie Doll.”

“Don’t you think it’s too soon? I shouldn’t even have been
looking at Dr Bryce like that, never mind be having erotic dreams about him…shit
I didn’t mean to tell you that bit.”  Lucy chewed at her bottom lip as she
ran a hand through her hair.

“You didn’t?”  Sarah gasped.  “Oh please, spill
the gory details.”

“No, Sarah I will not, anyway it makes me blush.”  Lucy
now gave a little giggle.

“That dirty was it, blimey!  So what does he look like,
gorgeous, or is it just because he’s a male and you’ve not encountered a
trouser snake for a while?”

“Yes he’s gorgeous,” Lucy confirmed.  “He’s really
stylish and has beautiful brown eyes, with these really long lashes that I
would die for.  From what I can tell he has a fantastic body, and even his
forearms are sexy, they are tanned and just…well they’re really manly and ooh
just…well just sexy.”  Lucy shivered as she thought of Ed, before continuing
with her description.  “His hair is dark brown and is quite short at the
side, but then longer on top, and it kind of sticks up in a messy but trendy
way.”  Lucy let out an involuntary moan.

“So you’ve not studied him much?”  Sarah gasped. 
“Christ Luce, he sounds flipping gorgeous.  What’s he like as a
person…Lucy are you still there?”

Lucy was day-dreaming, recalling the way Dr Bryce had
touched her cheek.  “What, sorry, yes I’m still here.  What did you
say I couldn’t hear you?”

“I said what’s he like as a person?”

“Well, from the short time that I’ve spoken to him, really
nice.”

“Nice, nice is a crap word to describe someone you obviously
want to get down and dirty with.  Right, I’m going to get a cup of tea,
I’ll ring you back in ten minutes, and I want to know every detail.”

An hour later and Lucy told Sarah everything about Dr Bryce,
including their little bit of flirting earlier in the day.

“So, what should I do Sarah?”

“Honestly?”

“Yes honestly?” Lucy replied, sighing deeply.

“Okay you’re right it may be too soon for a relationship,
but it’s not too soon for some sexy time.”  Sarah laughed loudly. 
“Seriously Luce, if you fancy him that much just damn well get it over and done
with, and have sex with him to get him out of your system.  He obviously
fancies you too after what happened today, and if he’s a single parent that
hates his ex then it may be all he wants too.”

“But what if I do go for it and either he’s not interested,
which makes me look a complete and utter dick, or I end up really falling for
him and it’s not what he wants, which again makes me look a complete and utter
dick, or he ends up falling for me and it’s not what I want, and he looks a
complete and utter dick?”

“Hmm that’s a lot of dicks there!  Look it may be the
chance you need to take, but please don't miss out on this because of
Simon.”  Sarah’s tone was soft and full of concern for Lucy.

“What, in case I think he’s coming back?  I don’t
Sarah. I know he’s not coming back, but it would still feel a little like
cheating on him, we
are
still married.”

Sarah was silent for a few seconds.  “Ben saw Simon and
Jennifer yesterday, Lucy.  He bumped into them in town,” she said quietly.

“Oh, right, what did he say?”  Lucy’s heart started to
beat faster.  Her hands started sweating, and her stomach started
churning.

“Well put it this way, she’s much more pregnant than you, or
I, thought.”

“H-h-how far?”  Lucy stammered.

“Well Ben said Simon was extremely shifty, but she let it
slip that she only had a month to go.  I’m sorry Lucy, but he’s obviously
been playing the doting husband with you while she’s been sitting at home
knitting booties for the last six or seven months.” 

Lucy felt numb as a lump grew in her throat - what a liar
he’d been.  “We had regular sex right up until he left, bloody good sex as
well,” she whispered.  “He’s such a fucking coward, how could he do that
to me?  How could he carry on with our normal life, while all the time
knowing he’d be leaving me as soon as he’d grown some balls?”

“I’m sorry Lucy. I really am.  If it’s any consolation
Ben told me that she looked a little rough, and wasn’t exactly blooming.”

Lucy laughed emptily, the numbness now replaced by
anger.  “Well one good thing has come out of knowing that, I certainly
don’t want him back now, the lying bastard.  The cheating was bad enough,
but that’s one bloody whopping lie.  God I hate him,” she blasted.

“So,” Sarah asked excitedly.  “Does this mean you’ll
shag Dr Bryce then?”

“
No, it doesn’t
. I may not care about Simon anymore,
but I do care about myself, and I can’t risk getting hurt again.  I’ll go
to his house tonight and be the true professional, and not look at his arse
once!”  Lucy laughed with Sarah joining in.

“Well that’s good, but if I were a betting woman, I’d put money
on the doctor giving you an internal before the end of the summer!”

“Sarah, you are disgusting.  I’m going. I've got to get
ready to go out, and so I’ll speak to you soon.”

Sarah giggled.  “Okay.  But Lucy, don’t forget to
have a good wash - if you know what I mean?!”

“Bye Sarah.”  And with that, Lucy cut Sarah off,
shaking her head but smiling.

Lucy had felt sick when Sarah had mentioned Simon, and
Jennifer.  The thought of them together, living her life, knotted her
stomach and made her heart ache.  Her life had obviously been a lie,
seemingly for a long time if Jennifer ‘bloody bitch face’ Grayson was that
pregnant.  Lucy felt tears on her cheeks as she hugged her knees to
her.  She rocked backwards and forwards, thinking of how cruel Simon’s
actions were.  He’d lied to her, he'd let her believe that he loved her
and loved their lives, yet all the time was planning his future with someone
else.  Lucy felt a ball of torment growing in her chest as the crying got
louder.  Taking large gulps of air loud sobs wracked Lucy’s body, until
she couldn’t breathe hardly.  Her previous life truly was over, and she
and Simon were totally finished.  She wouldn't ever take him back, even if
he asked, even if he begged, which she knew he never would.  Gradually,
her breathing returned to normal as the howling subsided until eventually she
sniffed loudly and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.  Simon
had broken her heart, but she had to move on somehow and maybe looking after Dr
Bryce’s son would help her to do that, at least it would keep her
occupied.  Fuck Simon, she wouldn’t let him ruin her life; she was a
strong woman and would damn well prove that to everyone, not least herself.