No Boundaries (20 page)

October—and the parole hearing—came all too quickly. Andi held her breath as she and Melissa were led into the prison. The air was cold inside the institutional gray stone walls. They had walked through the metal detectors and had been physically searched upon entering the facility. The smell of cleaning products mingled with the odors of human sweat and fear, making the air feel toxic.

The heavy metal doors slamming shut behind them sounded hollow and ominous, like the lid to a steel coffin grinding to a close. Andi imagined those doors closing on her, locking her in forever. Her skin felt chill and she wondered if the blood was even making it to her extremities. Her heart pounded against her chest, echoing in her head until she feared something would rupture and blood would pour out her ears.

A steady hand grasped her palm and long fingers laced through hers. She closed her hand, trying to find strength in the strong, unwavering touch. She looked up and met Melissa’s gaze. She squeezed her fingers tight against Melissa’s touch. She knew the fear that lurked in Melissa’s heart, but all she saw now was determination and strength. The solidarity seemed to make the cold and fear of the prison recede. She refused to be touched by the evil that lived there. Gwen wasn’t with them. She’d respected Andi’s need to keep Kevin James ignorant of their relationship, even though Andi knew Gwen wanted to be with her, holding her hand.

They waited in a small five-by-eight room. There was no window, and the thick metal door housed only a small viewing glass in the center. The hum of the florescent lights seemed deafening in the otherwise silent room. A camera nestled in the corner of the ceiling winked its red light at them, reminding them that, despite the solitude, they were not alone. Although the silence was uncomfortable, neither of them spoke. Everything had been said. Nothing was left but the waiting. Jimmy had gone into the hearing and was presenting their case. She wouldn’t call on them unless it was absolutely necessary.

A guard came to the door. It was time. It was happening. They were being summoned to speak before the parole board.

A wave of fear washed over Andi, and she thought she might be sick. She closed her eyes trying to fight back the bile that burned in her throat. She had to face the demon again. Ice once again threaded its way through her veins.

Melissa stood first, squared her shoulders, and moved toward the door. Just as she was about to exit she paused and looked at Andi who had followed her lead. Although she didn’t say a word, the message was clear. She wouldn’t fail this time. She quirked a faint smile and took Andi’s hand.

The tight fingers laced in her own told her she was safe. And no matter what happened in the next few hours, she was loved. Andi tried to focus on her breathing. She wouldn’t be any use in the hearing if she passed out before even getting into the room. She thought of Melissa and Jimmy and all they had suffered. She thought of Gwen and her unwavering love and the dreams that hung on today’s decision. This was a fight she could not run from. She had to take a stand to protect those she loved.

Andi watched a muscle twitch at the side of Melissa’s jaw. Andi could see the tension in her back and wondered if the muscles would snap under the strain. Her anger flared when Melissa brought her hand to her face and ran her fingers over the scar on her cheek. She would bear the reminder of that terrible night for the rest of her life. Andi’s hatred for Kevin James boiled, and once again she wished she had pulled the trigger when she’d had the chance. She shook the thought from her mind. She wouldn’t allow Kevin James to hurt her anymore. It was time to face the darkness.

Sooner than expected, the guard stopped outside another massive steel door. He spoke into his shoulder mic and instantly the familiar sound of the metal locks sliding open echoed around the hall. The heavy door glided weightlessly on its hinges, and in seconds they were guided into the room.

The room was cold. Bright florescent lights illuminated the room. Wood paneling lined the walls and the seal of the state of Tennessee hung on the wall above a long wooden table where four men and three women sat, reviewing a stack of papers. Jimmy was standing at the front of the room facing the panel.

When Andi’s gaze settled on the man in the orange jumpsuit, her heart leaped into her throat. Kevin James looked as calm and reserved as the last time she’d seen him. His hair had grown out a little but was still combed back from his face. He was clean-shaven. The familiar two-day stubble was gone. He had put on weight and his eyes bulged from their sockets like a wounded animal cornered by a predator. Andi knew him better than anyone in that room. He might look calm and reserved, but she knew that was just a cover. Inside he was a beast and she knew he was sizing up his prey.

Sweat gathered at the back of Andi’s neck and a tremor ran down her spine. She marveled at the incongruences in the room. She felt like the prisoner being ushered in for trial, just like she had every time she had testified about the horrors Kevin James had brought to her life. Kevin James was no innocent.

When his eyes fell on Andi, he smiled in a menacing sneer showing yellow, stained teeth. His hands tightened into fists, restrained by the shackles on his wrists, secured to the chain around his waist that trailed to the shackles on his ankles. A guard stood behind him, holding a black rod about two feet long. Andi looked at this curiously wondering what it was for. Two more guards stood by each door, the one that Andi and Melissa had come through and another several feet behind Kevin James.

*

In the visitors’ area, observers shifted as Melissa and Andi made their way to the front of the room. Gwen sat back so she was obscured by the movement of the large man beside her as Andi and Melissa passed by her. She didn’t want Andi to see her. She didn’t want her distracted from what she needed to do.

Gwen studied the set of Andi’s jaw and was proud of her bravery, her strength, and her unwavering determination to do the right thing. Gwen was happy to see Melissa never let her hand leave Andi’s, but she wished with all her being that it could have been her holding Andi, protecting her. Movement at the front of the room caught Gwen’s attention, and she fixed her gaze on Kevin James. A sour taste flooded her mouth and her throat tightened with the effort it took to control the sudden surge of anger. This was the man who had hurt Andi. Before this moment, Gwen hadn’t fully understood the magnitude of her hate for this man.

She could never know the price Andi had paid by coming here. And once again, she was awed at Andi’s strength.

When they reached the podium, the hearing officer acknowledged Andi and Melissa and asked for Andi to stand and state her full name for the record. With Jimmy at her side, they asked questions regarding the effects the crime had on Andi’s life, her mental status, and her feelings about Kevin James being considered for parole. Through it all, Andi remained composed and poised. That composure cracked when one of the men on the panel asked why Andi felt Mr. James continued to pose a threat.

Andi’s voice shook as she described the letters she had received from Kevin James while he had been incarcerated. She described the threatening letters James had managed to have other inmates slip to their visitors that had been mailed out to her without the prison knowing.

Andi produced one of the letters, and as she read it to the panel, Kevin James chuckled menacingly. In the letter he’d described in detail the things he planned to do to Andi once he was free. Andi’s hands shook as she continued to read, and Jimmy slid her hand around Andi’s waist to steady her.

Gwen ground her teeth against her rage as she heard the intimate details of what Andi had suffered. She couldn’t imagine the strength it had taken Andi to survive such a brutal attack. Andi had spent over three years of her life protecting everyone around her from this demon, and Gwen realized the sacrifice Andi was willing to make to protect her. Her heart ached with the love she felt for Andi. It was painful to hear all that Melissa and Andi had endured. It was unthinkable that this man would ever be free to harm anyone ever again.

At the conclusion of Andi’s speech, the panel thanked her for coming to the hearing and for her unique perspective on the case. Then one of the panelists cleared her throat and apologized to Andi and Melissa for the pain the hearing had caused them.

The panel then addressed Kevin James, asking him about his thoughts and feelings about what he had done and the behavior he had displayed while incarcerated.

Gwen leaned forward as Kevin James stood to make his case. He sounded like a well-educated and reasonable man. He argued that his previous behavior was due to a mental instability for which he was currently being treated. He presented a very convincing argument that he had suffered delusions and had acted during a state of psychosis, and he argued that with his medication he no longer harbored thoughts or fantasies of harming anyone.

The more he talked, the more Gwen realized the evil within the man. Nothing in his posture or his expression spoke of empathy or remorse. Gwen saw what he was saying as nothing more than manipulation. She hoped and prayed the parole board would see the same.

When Kevin James was finished speaking, the hearing officer called a fifteen minute recess and said they would return with their decision after the break.

As Kevin James was led from the room, Gwen’s eyes were glued to Andi. They had been asked to remain seated during the break, and Gwen wanted to go to Andi. But she knew she had to be patient just a little longer.

*

“What do you think?” Melissa asked Jimmy once the panel left the room.

“Hard to say. He made a good argument, but the records don’t support his claim of mental stability. More than one of the panelists was visibly affected by your testimonies. We’ve presented a strong case, but I just can’t call this one.”

Melissa grimaced and looked to Andi. “How are you holding up?”

Andi felt numb, as if she were standing outside herself in a dream. “Okay. He sounded like he used to during court testimony. He has lots of practice saying what he thinks the court wants to hear.”

Earlier than expected, the panel returned. A few minutes later, Kevin James was led back into the room. The hearing officer delivered the panel’s decision. “In the matter of the parole of Kevin Dewayne James, this panel has determined there is just cause to believe the inmate continues to pose significant risks to the victims and has not completed rehabilitation. The request for parole is denied. The court recommends—”

“What the fuck? You can’t do that!” Kevin James screamed across the room. He struggled against his restraints. “I did what was necessary. Look at them, they’re all a bunch of fucking dykes. They deserved what they got. You have no right to keep me here.”

Andi flinched. The screams of anger echoed through her soul, stripping her to the bone.

“Mr. James,” one of the panelists warned, “you can either compose yourself or you’ll be escorted back to your cell.”

James’s eyes blazed with hatred. He had been glaring at Andi as he spoke, but now the panelist caught his attention. He jerked his arms violently against the restraints at his waist. “You’re one of them! You’re a fucking dyke. That’s what this is about. You just wait, you fucking cunt. I’ll show you. You can’t keep me here forever.” Kevin James lunged forward. “I’ll hunt all of you down—”

His last words were cut off as the guard behind him pressed the black rod against his back. It wasn’t a blow, just a touch, but Kevin James fell to the floor in a fetal position, his body jerking from the current that had brought him to his knees.

The guards grabbed Kevin James by the arms and dragged him from the room. A foul smell permeated the air, and Andi realized Kevin James had soiled himself.

The outburst had been controlled, but Andi still felt the adrenaline rushing though her body, making her want to lash out at someone or run, run and get away. Melissa’s strong arms had pushed against her the instant Kevin James had started his resistance, and Melissa still stood in front of her in a defensive stance. Andi fell back against the bench, her back crushed against the cold wood. She felt as if she were floating away. They had won. James wouldn’t be coming for her. But why couldn’t she shake the fear? She closed her eyes to shut out the memories, the hate, and the months of dread.

A gentle hand brushed against her cheek as a strong arm slid around her. Andi heard Gwen’s sweet voice whispering to her. But that wasn’t possible. Gwen wasn’t here. She must have passed out. Or maybe this was all a dream. When Gwen’s lips pressed against hers, the sensation was so real that Andi couldn’t help but reach back. She opened her eyes and was shocked to find Gwen gazing back at her. Shock and relief flooded her. She threw her arms around Gwen, buried her face in Gwen’s neck, and held on with all her strength.

“Are you really here?”

Gwen’s arms tightened around her. “I’m right here, baby. I’m right here,” Gwen soothed. “Its okay, Andi. It’s over now.”

Andi sighed and lifted her face to Gwen, and placed her hand against her cheek. “What are you doing here?”

“This is where you are. I had to come.”

Andi hugged Gwen close again. “I am so glad you did.”

When they separated, Andi felt grounded again. She looked around Gwen to Melissa, who stood wrapped in Jimmy’s arms.

“Thank you. Thank you for everything.” She reached out and took Jimmy’s hand. “I can’t believe we did it.”

Jimmy smiled. “Yes, we did. And with that little show James put on, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about him for a long time.”

Melissa smiled at Andi, and Andi felt a part of her soul slide back into place. They’d had one small triumph that day. Kevin James would not be stalking their lives for now. It was as if the day Kevin James had gone to prison, they had had their lives arrested in prisons of their own making. Like James, they’d gone about their daily routines, spending time in slow motion, waiting for the unavoidable moment when their lives would collide again.