NIKOLAI (Her Russian Protector #4) (19 page)

"Do you plan to check my mouth now?"

I put a hand on my hip. "Do I need
to?"

"I swallowed them."

"Would you have swallowed them if I wasn't
standing right here?"

"Probably not," he grudgingly admitted. "I
don't like having my senses dulled, especially not now."

"Nikolai, you've got Kostya, Sergei and, like,
a dozen other guys hanging around this place. You and I both know
that the police department probably has this house under
surveillance. We're safe."

"For now," he grumbled and started to peel out
of his shirt. When he winced, I pushed aside his hands and dragged
it down his arms. Positive he wouldn't be able to bend over to
remove his socks, I crouched down and tugged them off his feet. My
gaze landed on his belt buckle but he just smiled. "I think I've
got that one."

"Right," I murmured nervously. I carried his
shirt and socks to the hamper in the roomy walk-in closet. When I
stepped back into the bedroom, he still sat on the edge of the bed.
Anxiety gripped me. "Um…so…I guess this is good night."

"Stay with me."

He wasn't asking. I swallowed nervously. "I
can't."

"You can." He held out his hand. "You need to
stay with me tonight."

I stared at his hand with some trepidation.
"Why?"

"Because after taking those two pain pills, I'm
going to pass out cold very soon. If you have another nightmare
like last night, I'll be too groggy to cross the hall and find
you." His brow arched. "Unless you want Kostya to hold you until
you fall back asleep?"

The idea of Kostya snuggled up against me
wasn’t one I found very appealing. Still…I worried this might be a
step too far for us, especially after that passionate make-out
session in his library.

"We're just sleeping."

"That's all."

I trusted him not to push the issue. If our
relationship had proved anything, it was that the two of us were
very patient and good at waiting. "All right."

He motioned to the side closest to the window.
"You sleep there."

While I slid under the covers, he disappeared
into the bathroom. He exited a few minutes later and paused in the
doorway. He'd pulled on pajama pants but remained totally naked
from the waist up. Every single one of his many tattoos was bared
to my sight. The dark bruises marring his skin looked so painful.
"Do you need the light?"

Feeling a bit childish, I admitted, "I sleep
with a night light at home."

He didn't tease me about it. He simply dimmed
the light and shut the door most of the way before crossing the
room and switching off the bedside lamp. When I felt the bed dip
with his weight, I clenched the covers tightly. I wasn't sure how I
would ever relax enough to sleep with Nikolai resting inches away
from me.

It took me a few seconds to realize he was
staying on top of the comforter. "You're going to
freeze."

He chuckled. "Sweetheart, I'm from Russia. This
isn't cold."

"Well…"

He leaned over in the darkness and pecked my
cheek. "Stop worrying about me. Go to sleep."

Sleep would come soon enough because I was just
as exhausted, emotionally and physically, as he was, but I doubted
it was possible for me to stop worrying about him. It wasn't a
switch I could flip on and off so easily. Now that there was no
question that we belonged to one another, I experienced such a
surge of possessiveness toward him.

Rolling on my side, I stared at his face. The
light from the bathroom only illuminated the bottom half of the bed
so I couldn't see his eyes—but I could feel his gaze boring into
me. Very slowly, I slid my hand across the comforter toward him.
Halfway to touching him, I felt him reaching for me. Fingers
interlaced, we said nothing but simply held tight to each
other.

I didn't know how we were going to get through
all the troubles facing us but I believed we'd make it out alive
and safe. There was nothing we couldn't conquer
together.

Chapter Twelve

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Nikolai killed the engine and glanced at
Vivian. She pulled a long lace scarf from her purse and placed it
atop her head. Though he'd never seen her immodestly dressed, it
was still a bit jarring to see her covering her beautiful dark
hair. The dress code at the church was extremely conservative and
she looked the part of devoted congregant.

"I don't mind a small Justice of the Peace
wedding." She tucked the scarf around her shoulder.

"I'm sure you wouldn't but I want it done
properly for you."

She fidgeted with the lacy trim. "What if
Father Semyon refuses to marry us?"

He can try
,
Nikolai thought crossly. "Let's sit down with him and see how it
goes. There's no reason to get worked up over something that hasn't
happened."

Vivian bit her lower lip. She looked a bit
nervous before asking, "Um…how long has it been since you were
inside a church?"

"Too long," he admitted and opened his
door.

That was probably the reason Father Semyon had
asked them to join him inside the narthex instead of his office.
The clergyman wanted to remind Nikolai who set the rules here.
Though he was loathe to admit it, Nikolai already felt
uncomfortable and on the defensive, and he hadn't even escorted
Vivian to the front door yet.

A chill crept along Nikolai's neck when they
entered the simply decorated narthex, the room just inside the
entrance of the church. He ignored the unpleasant feeling and tried
to remember why he'd come here.

Despite Vivian's assurances that she wouldn't
mind a quick trip to the courthouse to cement their union, he knew
better. She'd embraced her faith and lived accordingly in her
day-to-day life. If she'd ever dreamed of her wedding day, she'd
probably dreamed of a beautifully celebrated church wedding. He
wanted to give that to her.

He stood back as Father Semyon warmly greeted
Vivian. She spent so much time volunteering with the congregation
and attending services that she was very close to the holy man. Not
quite old enough to be her grandfather, the priest had taken a very
keen interest in guiding her once she'd joined his
flock.

Nikolai had given the man a wide berth when
he'd visited Vivian at the house. He'd extended his welcome and
made the priest feel comfortable but he hadn't quite known what to
say that wouldn't sound awkward or empty. The brief memory of the
clergyman praying at his bedside in the hospital still left him
unsettled. Why would a priest waste his prayers on a lost case like
him?

"Nikolai, welcome." Father Semyon shook his
hand. "Are you familiar with your surroundings? Would you like me
to explain what this place is and what it means?"

Nikolai shook his head. "I spent plenty of time
in places like this as a child. It's not something one
forgets."

"No." Father Semyon offered a gracious smile
before gesturing to a trio of chairs he'd arranged. "Let's
talk."

Nikolai took the seat next to Vivian and fought
the urge to fidget as the priest simply stared at them. With a deep
sigh, the man sat back and crossed his legs. He pressed his fingers
together to form a steeple. "I'm going to be totally honest with
the two of you. I'm not thrilled with this development."

And so it begins…

"Father—"

The priest held up his hand and gently cut off
Vivian's interjection. "But I won't stop you."

Nikolai stiffened with surprise. He'd been
expecting a real fight. Why was the holy man capitulating so
easily?

"Thank you, Father." Relief filled her
voice.

"Don't take that as a full-fledged endorsement
of this union," he cautioned. "You're a smart young woman, Vivian,
but we can all be blinded by love. Sometimes what the heart wants
isn't what the physical and spiritual body needs. This is a
lifelong commitment you're making to this man. You should take some
time to think about this."

For the first time since asking her to be his
wife, Nikolai felt real fear. If anyone in the world could sway her
to refuse his offer, it would be this man. Nikolai sneaked a glance
at Vivian but she looked utterly calm and resolved.

"I know the man I'm marrying, Father Semyon.
I'm ready to make that commitment."

Suddenly, Nikolai was the one with cold feet.
Was he really going to drag Vivian even further into the murky
world he inhabited? Was he going to taint her with his dark
soul?

But then she smiled at him. That
bright, playful smile warmed him in ways he couldn't quite
describe. It infected him with
hope
. With Vivian at his side
anything was possible. Maybe even getting out…

"Very well," Father Semyon remarked sadly.
Turning his attention to Nikolai, the priest asked, "Have you been
baptized?"

Nikolai nodded. "All the boys in the orphanage
were baptized and received chrismation."

The priest made a throaty noise. "And how long
has it been since you made confession?"

"A while," Nikolai replied and shifted on the
uncomfortably hard chair.

The priest's bushy brows rose. "How
long is
a while
,
Nikolai?"

Nikolai couldn't bear to meet Vivian's
questioning gaze. "Twenty-four years," he finally answered. "Give
or take a few months."

Father Semyon made another unhappy noise. "Have
you been married or divorced?"

"No."

"Do you remember the name of your childhood
church? I'll need your records, if possible. I understand that
sometimes it's difficult to track these things down back
home."

He was relieved to have a question he could
answer easily. "Ivan is still in contact with the priest there.
I'll get the details from him."

"How soon would the two of you like to be
married?"

"The sooner the better," Nikolai said and
leveled a meaningful glance at the priest.

His eyes widened slightly. "I see. The earliest
I can perform the marriage is mid-January, but I'll require you to
complete the counseling sessions." The older man gave him a hard
look. "All of them."

"That's not a problem, Father." Nikolai would
jump through whatever hoops the priest placed between him and the
wedding. He fully expected to find the experience thoroughly
discomfiting.

Father Semyon reached into his pocket and
retrieved a key ring. "Vivian, would you mind going to my office
and picking up the folder and packets on my desk. I left your
paperwork there and you'll need to fill it out before our first
counseling session."

She shot the priest a knowing smile. "Yes,
Father."

Keys in hand, she passed by Nikolai on her way
out of the narthex. She gave his good shoulder a reassuring squeeze
of encouragement before disappearing and leaving him alone with the
priest. Sitting there, awash in trepidation, he realized how crazy
his life was. He'd felt more comfortable sitting in the backseat of
a car with a murderous cartel boss than he did sitting across from
this kindhearted man.

"Is she still in danger?"

"Yes."

"Because of her father—or because of you?" The
priest didn't pull any punches.

"I don't know. It's probably a mix of
both."

Father Semyon heaved an irritated sigh. "You
should stop this nonsense now and send her away. You have the
friends to make it possible."

"I tried. I offered her that alternative."
Nikolai rubbed the back of his neck and decided to lay it all out
for the priest. "I agree with you. She doesn't belong with me.
She's too good for me."

"Then why are you marrying her?"

"Because I love her," Nikolai answered simply.
"Because she loves me. You can sit there and cast judgment on me
but it won't change the way we feel. I'm not a perfect man. Hell,
I'm not even a very good man—but she makes me want to be
better."

The priest smiled. "Well, God works in
mysterious ways. Perhaps she'll be the one to save you. Someday you
might even be a leader in our congregation."

Nikolai laughed harshly. "I wouldn't go that
far, Father."

"I am the eternal optimist." Standing, Father
Semyon extended his hand. Nikolai rose and accepted it. "I'll
expect a full confession before the wedding. I can't in good
conscience marry the two of you inside this church without knowing
that you've done penance and come clean with God."

Sensing this was the final test, Nikolai
accepted with a nod. "Pick the day, Father, and I'll be here." With
a wry smile, he added, "You'd better clear your schedule. We're
going to be in that box a long time…"

* * *

Later that afternoon, I ducked into the library
and shut the door. Sergei, my shadow, took the hint that I wanted
some privacy and didn't follow me. He was probably standing outside
the door with his ear pressed against it but he wasn't being
intrusive.