None of the children were ever abused or neglected. Their father worked hard so they could all be fed and the mother spent every day with her children doing her best to educate them and prepare them for their futures. They all helped with the business doing whatever they could. When they weren’t at the shop they were home cooking and cleaning. Their mother’s willingness to make her husband happy was contagious. Every evening rotated around the whims of the father. Takako’s mother became like one of the children, hanging on to his every word, trying to find a measure of his infrequent approval.
As the cycles passed, everything worsened and life decayed like an old piece of paper. Takako’s father began gambling with some friends. Until that day he had abstained, knowing there wasn’t enough money for the family to be frivolous with any of it. But one night something had changed his mind, and he adopted the belief that it was his hard-earned money to spend as he desired. He talked it over with his wife and she agreed that it might be good for him to relax with friends and do as he pleased. They ran over the numbers, and figured on a suitable amount for him to take to the halls, expecting and planning for him to lose everything. They would have to trim a couple of corners for the next few days but they figured they could make ends meet without too much difficulty.
That night Takako saw her father the happiest he had ever been. He came back flush with winnings. He brought treats for everyone and still brought home much more money than he had left with. That night the family celebrated their good fortune with an opulent meal and games. The night became forever etched in Takako’s memory, a colorful, vivid memory against a backdrop of black and white images.
The happiness of that evening lasted for a while. Both Takako’s mother and father were by nature careful spenders and for almost a full moon the air around the house was jovial. It never reached the heights of the first night, but her parents did not seem as worried as usual and the mood was palpably more relaxed than it had been.
But Takako had been taught that all things in life travel in a great cycle, and the good fortune experienced by the family slowly returned to the day-to-day drudgery the family knew so well. The day-to-day drudgery uncovered the same tension that had consumed the family earlier. Once again, the merchant went out to gamble, but this time it wasn’t for fun or pleasure. It was to earn money for his family. His wife tried to dissuade him, but only half-heartedly, fearful hope instilled in her as well. The joy of that night was still flush in her mind, and although part of her knew that luck didn’t visit the same person twice in the gambling halls, she wanted to believe it enough she was willing to ignore her intuition and put her trust in her husband’s confidence.
The whole family waited up filled with expectation, but when the merchant returned, he returned with less money. It wasn’t much less. He had runs of both good and bad luck but had quit before he lost too much. A little less money meant a little less food and a little more tension around the house. But it was manageable, and life moved forward, the great wheel slowly spinning.
The cycle continued, inevitable as the rising of the sun. Her parents started fighting more. Takako didn’t always know what was said. Her parents always argued in hushed tones at night so they wouldn’t wake or disturb the children. Takako could sometimes make out snippets of conversation, but rarely enough to put together a coherent picture of what was happening. She assumed that it was about money. She was old enough to know that her father’s business wasn’t doing as well as they needed, which was why they didn’t have very much food.
Takako wondered if all the arguing had to do with why only she and her father had come to New Haven. She didn’t understood why they were here by themselves. A visit to the city was always a big deal and always involved the whole family. For business or celebration, everyone came together. Still, she was happy to be here, feeling special that her father had recognized her for something unique. But her father wouldn’t answer her questions. That made her nervous.
In between her excited observations of her surroundings Takako would steal glances over at her father. He smiled at her whenever he caught her looking at him, but he also seemed like he was about to cry at any minute. She didn’t understand. They had made a long journey but her father brought nothing to trade. If this was a business trip it was unlike any trip she had been on before. Instead of leading her to a specific destination her father kept asking her what she would like to do, and then they would do it. Takako tried to select activities that didn’t cost too much, but her father spent money on her without complaint. His newfound generosity scared her most.
Takako didn’t feel like she should complain about the treatment, but it was out of character for the father she knew. Her father was by nature a frugal man. He had grown up the son of a poor merchant and couldn’t move forward his entire life despite his constant efforts. Spending money without question on his daughter was unheard of.
As the sun set her father asked her if she would like a special treat. She said yes, and they wandered until they found a small out-of-the-way candy merchant. Takako’s father looked through the candy as if it was the most important purchase he had ever made and selected one for his daughter. Takako watched, amazed by how much money her father had handed over to the merchant. He didn’t receive change.
They sat down on the side of a street, watching the passerby as Takako savored the candy. She had never eaten anything like it before, and seeing how much it had cost, she was set on making the most out of the experience. As she ate her father watched her, his eyes never leaving her face. She was so absorbed in her treat she didn’t even notice when he began to cry.
“You know, when I was a child that was my favorite candy. I don’t remember how I got it for the first time. I imagine my father bought me some on a special occasion, just as I bought it for you today. But I loved it so much that every time we came back to New Haven, I had to have a piece.”
Takako looked up at her father. “How did you get it? You didn’t have much money growing up.”
Her father looked down at her, surprised. It made Takako angry. It was as though he didn’t realize she could put things together for herself. “You saw how much it cost.” He sounded resigned, like he had known his one attempt to be secretly generous would fail. “I worked very hard for those candies. I was about the same age you are now and I worked all the time for my father. He didn’t give me very much because we didn’t have much, but he felt I should be paid like a regular employee. He thought it would teach me hard work would be rewarded, so he always gave me a small percentage of the profits as an allowance. It was clever parenting. If I worked hard and business improved then I would earn more. If I was lazy and business dropped I didn’t earn anything. It was a good lesson,” his voice turned bitter, “even if it was a lie.”
Takako nodded She didn’t understand the last part of his thoughts, but she too had dreamed about working in the store. She wondered if her father would ever let her work in the business. She was more than old enough to help out, and often did small odds and ends, but she didn’t have anything important to do with the business. Her father used all the boys even if they were younger and dumber. She was left tending the house with her mother. She would have loved the same treatment her father received from his father. The idea of having money of her own was very appealing.
Her father didn’t give her the chance to interrupt, continuing his story as though lost in thought. “I worked very hard and the business, while it didn’t improve too much, it made enough money that I was able to save up a little. Like our family, we didn’t go to New Haven often, so by the time we would make it around to going, I almost always had enough to buy one of these candies. And every time it was the best one. It was never disappointing, not after working for it for so many seasons.”
Takako’s father laughed, a short laugh, and shook his head. “Father never did understand. He considered it a terrible waste of money, and I think he started to believe me a lost cause then. But it was worth every piece of wealth I had, just like it is today.”
Takako cocked her head to one side. It seemed like an out-of-place thing to say, and sounded ominous. The questions, driven out of her mind by the candy, came back into her thoughts.
Her father didn’t give her long to wonder. “Takako, we’re here because I had to find work for you.”
Takako’s heart leapt with sudden joy. A job meant money, and it meant she would stay here in New Haven to work. No more endless days spent tending house. She felt like a hawk escaping from the cage of her life into the bright sunlight of a new day.
“Takako, I want you to know that I’m not happy with having to find you a job here. In fact, I feel horrible. If it wasn’t for me, my failures, you wouldn’t have to work at all, and you could live with your mother and me until you found a husband, just like we’d planned. But that’s not what happened. You may hate me forever, but I want you to know I love you. I love you like I love your mother, and although neither of you will ever forgive me, please try and remember me kindly.”
Her father’s words echoed through her mind, unable to find any purchase there. Everything he said drifted by her like a leaf blown quickly away by the wind. Takako was lost in her new vision of the future, managing her own store, sending money back to her family. She would show them all! She would be the one who saved her family, the one who brought honor back to their house. And she loved her father more than she ever had before.
Takako shared the last bites of candy with her father as they sat together for the last time. When the candy was gone they stood and walked to a neighborhood Takako had never been to before. The streets were illuminated by a soft red light. It was enough to see by, but it was dark and foreboding. Takako was used to seeing swords. All the soldiers had them, and many others in the city had them as well. But in this neighborhood everyone wore a sword even if they didn’t wear a uniform, and many of the men were having trouble walking and talking. As she glanced around again, she also realized she was the only woman on the streets of any age.
She held on to her father’s hand, afraid to let go in this neighborhood. But she didn’t show any other fear. If she was going to be shown to her first job, she wanted to make a good impression. Takako’s father led them in straight lines. He walked straight to a three story building with dim red lanterns hanging outside of it. It seemed to be the quietest place in this busy neighborhood. Men walked in and out of the building, but were always subdued They were also dressed quite well. Takako’s clothing was rags in comparison.
The first detail Takako noticed were the two men at the door. They were standing on either side, but something about them made them different than men she had seen before. She stared at them without shame until she figured it out. They were
still
. For as long as she stared at them, they did not move unless it was to serve a purpose. At first she wondered if it was some sort of childlike game, a competition to see who could stand still the longest. But unlike her childhood games these men were not tense from the effort of remaining still. Their bodies were relaxed, not tense like hers would be if she tried to stand still. Although she couldn’t say why, she knew that these men were dangerous. Her excitement about her new job faded as doubts overcame her.
Her father spoke in hushed tones to one of the men and was given directions. He motioned Takako to follow and took her up the stairs into a room on the second floor. As she walked through the building she saw this was where all the women in the area had been hiding. They were all beautiful. Takako had never seen so many women in one place. Each one wore a gorgeous, unique dress. Takako wanted to be just like them, the envy of men everywhere.
Takako couldn’t help but stare, but each of the women she stared at had no trouble meeting her gaze. They each returned Takako’s stare in a different fashion. Some seemed angry at her while others gave her generous smiles. There were a few who looked at her with sadness in their eyes. Once again Takako felt like she was full of questions she didn’t know how to articulate.
Her father led her into a small room which was dark but quiet. The room was different than the rest of the building. Everywhere else was quiet but busy. This was peaceful. Takako and her father sat and after a short wait another woman came in. As soon as she entered the room the whole atmosphere changed. It felt like a block of ice had been moved into the room. Everything got colder and Takako wanted to reach for a blanket. The woman was unique in that she wore no make-up. Her face couldn’t be called beautiful, but neither could it be called plain.
The woman was older than the others. Takako guessed she was about forty. She was still beautiful, but Takako guessed when she was younger she had been even more so. Her figure was tall and slim, but even under her layers of clothing it was obvious she was strong. She moved with a grace that demonstrated decades of practice. Power and control radiated from her.
The woman offered tea which was accepted by both Takako and her father. She sat and studied Takako and her father, but spent more of her time on Takako. Takako felt naked under her gaze. It wasn’t a harsh stare or judgmental. It was all-encompassing, taking all of Takako in within the space of a few breaths. There was something about this woman that unsettled Takako. It wasn’t anything about her appearance. The stranger continued to smile as if it was the most natural expression anyone could make. But her gaze made Takako shiver a little on the inside. There was something cold at the center of the woman.
The woman broke the nervous silence. “I very much appreciate you two coming today. I know that this is often a difficult day, but I assure you that in this house the girls are treated much better than in any other house.”